Sigh I hate breakups

I could spout tons of cliches' but you probabaly don't want to hear them. I'm sorry you're going through this now. I have to believe there is someone out there who deserves you. You will find him.

**HUGS** That just plain SUCKS!!!!! I know it hurts and right now nothing will help. Let it all out and in time you'll look back with clear eyes on the situation. I went through something similar years ago. I had moved away and even though we were to get married he did not move with me, came for 2 weeks and stayed in my apartment not looking for a job. He flew home and got a job there. Push came to shove and 6 months later my eyes were opened that he was into some thing that just didn't fly with me. I decided that they were "Deal Breakers" and broke up with him. I had to change my phone number and have my calls at work forwarded for weeks until ultimately my Father had to threaten him with bodily harm to leave me alone. This was my first love and it hurt so much that he'd chosen a path of lies, betrayal, theft, and illegal things. Even though my Father HATED HIM, he sat on the phone with me every night and cried with me. He even sent me my favorite ice cream from home to cheer me up. It took awhile, but looking back not so long. That was June 1995 and I met my husband in May of 1997 when I had stopped looking for Mr. Right. We had our first date July 1997 and we got married September 1998. I wouldn't change much of my past, as I really learned from the experience and found out what really meant the most to me. My only regret in the whole thing is that F***er kept my high school class ring when I returned his to him!

Basically what I'm telling you is that right now it's going to suck and that's OK. Your Prince Charming will come along when you least expect it. Learn from this that kids are a deal breaker for you and move on to the next frog when one says that's not in the cards.

P.S. Don't hit the ice cream too hard, better yet hit the gym REALLY hard and pretend the punching bag is him!

Kids is a big issue. My X said he would have them.... 7 years later he didn't want to still - I was 37! Um bye bye.....
Other issues of course but that is a biggie.

Be glad he finally came clean. If you ended up marrying him and he felt this way you would basically be giving that up if you stayed together - or getting a divorce later.

Starting over can be a good thing. I was overjoyed to start over - psyched - happy.
Met Mr. Wonderful - married him - trying to have kids. It's late in life but if the paths didn't lead us each to where we ended
up - we never would have met. Things will work out. Embrace your family, friends, and freedom.

Sorry this happened at a tough time of year. I hope you start to feel better soon! :flowerforyou:

I was left a month before my wedding for another girl. At the time I thought it was time wasted, but it ended up shaping me into the person that I am now. It made me stronger and able to love my now fiance in a greater way than I ever knew was possible.
You will get through this. *hugs*

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of what I call "the worst day" -- my ex ended our relationship of three years, totally blindsiding me. i really didn't know how i'd get over it, but after the holidays i decided to spend the entire year changing my life and rediscovering myself. so here i am, 365 days later, 48 pounds lighter, and a WHOLE person ready for my soulmate to walk into my life. i spent a few months being so angry about my breakup and time i also considered wasted, but in the end, it was the catalyst to great change in my life. i hope it can be one for you too, just keep your heart open and love yourself more than anyone else can.

I'm so very sorry

So sorry To hear this. At least you found out before getting married.

oh sweetie, it's gonna take time, crying, some wine and friends.
it's great that you're already being mature about it all by saying it wasn't a waste of three/four years. Has he suddenly got scared, he's not scared is he of you finding someone else.. younger fitter etc.As he is older he may feel insecure about your weight loss?
Give it time and patience and everything happens for a reason, it may not be clear now but afterwards you'll have thaqt a-ha moment.
keep in there and keep your head held high.

One way to look at this is: You could have found yourself married to a douche but now you've dodged that bullet. Celebrate and look forward to really living it up the last two years of your 20's and on into your 30's.

I wouldn't fault him though for not wanting any more kids if he already has some. However, you can fault him for leading you to believe he actually wanted more or maybe yourself for fooling yourself into believing that. That's not me being harsh either, just honest. We women, often fool ourselves into believing things. My advice is don't be sad, don't spend your nights curled up in a chair crying over some 41 year old guy. Go out, move on, and enjoy what life has to offer you. :flowerforyou:

PS: You have an adorable puppy in that picture. Also from what I can see of your pictures, you're a lovely woman and shouldn't have a difficult time getting dates in the future.

Hang in there. The same thing happened to a friend of mine a few years back. He wanted to get married and start a family and his girlfriend did not. They broke up, and a week later he met his wife and now they have four children together.

Sorry that you're hurting so much. Time will heal.

This has me thinking about my situation. I've recently become a divorced father of 3 and if I ever go down the relationship road again, I'd better make up my mind about wanting more kids. I'm not completely against it, I like babies and miss some of the things I enjoyed raising mine, but on the other hand, the expense of another kid(s) isn't very attractive right now. This may sound horrible, but we purposefully had our kids early so we could 'get it over with'. lol

But on the other other hand...perfection is taking a nap with a baby sleeping on your chest. *sigh*

I am 31...and engaged. After a 13 yr failed relationship (8 of which we were married), I figured why even try? It took me a year to start dating again, then it felt even worse. The people I met were crap and I just knew in my heart my chances were over...

I tell you this sob story, because as soon as I really gave up...I met the most amazing man! Perfect for me, no compromises, no lack luster life for me... It can happen to you too.

You need to sit down and decide what you want, then be up front at all times about it at all times. If you are true to yourself, you can find someone who wants the same things.

Pick your head up, concentrate on the things you love..and love will find you. Just remember the most important thing...breathe.

*hugs* this sucks.

What everyone said is very true. My first husband nagged me constantly about children, we had them and he lost interest. So he has only been sporadically in their lives. I won't say it would have been better if we had not had children, but knowing the person and what they want out of life (not just what they say to please you) is a definite must, and you had a close call.

GG

I am going through a similar situation. I broke off my engagment 6 weeks ago. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. It completely sucks. I have days where I am okay, days where I am angry and days when I cry. I'm like an emotional roller coaster. To add insult to injury...I recently found out he has been dating someone since a week after we broke it off...lol That's true love for you. There is no easy way through it. We just have to feel it. And one day...it won't hurt as much...and evenutally it will just be a distant memory. We just have to do the work to get there.