Finding it hard to stay social while staying on track..

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It happens each time I'm on a journey.
I don't go out to eat with friends, or to the bar, etc. in fear of just saying 'eff it, i'm allowed to have fun with friends and do what they do'.
Or they make comments about your eating choices.

And none of them ever feel like getting out to do an actual activity with you so..
Kinda feel isolated.
Don't have a problem with it, just wonder if I'm the only one?
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Replies

  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    You're not the only one. I don't have a real solution except to look for new friends that share your new interests.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
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    I did see your post about how you like to be alone!
    I also enjoy my own company but I can't say there aren't times when I get a bit lonely.
  • Dilligaf007
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    I have the same problem. I'm trying to even get my family to get more serious about their health, and to get out there to do things. I am fine going to the gym alone, and going through my eating changes alone, afterall, I'm the one who has to be accountable....but the having fun part, its harder to motivate people!
  • premiumchilenita
    premiumchilenita Posts: 600 Member
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    yes everyone will have an opinion. It's funny coz when I started losing weight and being noticed for it, people were giving me diet tips on how to lose weight, I was thinking "why, doesn't it look like whatever I'm doing is working?"
    I guess you really need to be really strong with yourself but more so with others, as hard as it can be to finally get the will power to do this, it seems like others are just as stubborn for your journey.

    I'm not so anti social but I do have to shut my ears off every so often and just sit and nod.
  • 1953Judith
    1953Judith Posts: 325 Member
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    I had trouble with afterwork events for awhile. Now I am more practiced at sticking to my goals and my colleagues are more used to my habits and its no biggee. I did need to extend outside my comfort zone a little to gain companionship with more physical activities. I have someone I walk the dog with occasionally, though usually a solitary activity. I have organized bike rides and hikes with others. Now some of the people who preferred more food oriented activities are tagging along. The social readjustments take time too.
  • wendyapple
    wendyapple Posts: 323 Member
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    same. i've embraced it and grown from someone who was afraid of spending time alone, to requiring it for my mental sanity. exercise is your time, for clearing your head, staying focused, and it's all about you. you don't need to share it with social time. same thing with food choices, you're making good ones for yourself, and you should be proud. anyone who tries to topple that needs a firm explanation of why doing what's best for you is not just ok, but right. i have an *impossible* time controlling myself around food in social settings. buffets, bottomless bowls of things, giant portions, are my downfall. so i'm very selective about the social choices i make so avoid being in situations where i know i won't resist temptation. hope this helps :)
  • ShowKitten
    ShowKitten Posts: 434 Member
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    I was worried about going out with my friends last night as I knew they would all be drinking - I didn't want to drink a whole lot of cals so I drove. I had just as much fun as I would have tipsy, which I was really shocked at.

    I have noticed that I hardly see anyone at the moment as I was to concentrate on losing weight - going out for dinner/coffee just seems like a step away from my goal. It is rather lonely!
  • pdworkman
    pdworkman Posts: 1,342 Member
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    Like Judith said - organize some activities that focus around the things that support your goals - walks, hikes, zumba, Just Dance 3 with the kids, etc. Often when we get together with the family, we take the kids to the playground, you could play frisbee or football or something. Learn to separate the socializing from the food.
  • dede1988
    dede1988 Posts: 11
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    I've got the same problem. I lived with two men. My husband and roommate do not like my choice of things sometimes. Especially since I'm the one cooking all the food. It is hard. :/
  • pdworkman
    pdworkman Posts: 1,342 Member
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    If you're cooking all the food, it's easy. You make what you can eat and like to eat/make, and they can either eat it or make something for themselves. Don't let yourself be pushed around. I assume they are both perfectly capable of making themselves a sandwich or a bowl of cereal.
  • MountainMia
    MountainMia Posts: 242 Member
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    Yup. It's tough because enjoying food (particularly empty calorie food) is a part of our culture. I plan for nights out and eat accordingly durring the day to accommodate. We have a big group of families that we do stuff with at least once a month and it ALWAYS involves a lot of great food, and alcohol. I know these events can be managed in a healthy way; I just have to train myself to do it.

    I've learned trick is being conscious about the food and still interact as if nothing has changed. It makes no difference to anyone but me if I only have 1 glass of wine vs the usual 3. It makes no difference to anyone but me if I bring a gorgeous salad and pile my plate up with mostly that and smaller portions of other nummy things and then STOP eating vs the usual 3-4 hr grazeing. Nobody is going to notice if I'm drinking water vs beer.

    Plus, I'm finding that my friends are interested in doing more active things, and just looking for an excuse. I've dragged my firends out sledding, ice fishing and am planning a snow-shoing trip. Ya never know until you become the catalyst. If you are looking for more fun friends who do active things, look for local outdoor groups. They are always planning adventures and getting out in a healthy way. :)

    Don't avoid your life, enrich it by incorporating healthier habits into it.
  • pknanne
    pknanne Posts: 9
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    You are not alone.:frown: I have the same issue. It's frustrating.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
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    bump :(
  • ruby_red_rose
    ruby_red_rose Posts: 321 Member
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    I have the same problem. I have cut down my social interactions significantly, but I plan to reintegrate it back into my life when I have reached my goal weight. At that time, I will be eating maintenance calories, which will make it easier to eat some of the food everyone else is having.
  • pollypocket27
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    I am the same way... I never hang out with my friends. I know I am not strong enough to say no to my usual eats. With time it will be easier and I hope they will understand. On the other hand getting a reward once in a while is needed.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
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    i understand what you mean.. seems like I have no friends anymore.. they dont want to go to the gym or out for a hike etc... so yes I feel very isolated and sometimes alone ..except for my wonderful mfp friends.. sometimes its hard to stay motivated and can even be very emotional....
  • elizabeth51608
    elizabeth51608 Posts: 31 Member
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    Do you work out??? You will eventually make new friends at the gym. Maybe join a smaller class or group. Take a yoga class or spin class or whatever. If all your friends go out, you might have to cut the strings while you lose weight. Too much temptation is discouraging...ya know?

    How bout this...every time your friends go out and you don't, set aside however much money you would have spent for a special treat for yourself...massage, mani/pedi, new item of clothing or shoes, etc. :)
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    You're definitely not the only one. I've stopped going on my weekly friday night trip to the mall with my best friend because we always visit starbucks, fuzziwigg's candy store, wetzel's pretzels, or panda express. Going to the mall means at least 500 calories! No thanks. I'm also making exuses to stay home instead of visit my boyfriend's. Why would I want to indulge in ice cream, pizza, cookies and brownies (we always order out for dinner and bake for dessert) when I could just have oatmeal and fruit instead? I love my best friend and my boyfriend, but this is something I have to do that neither of them will understand.
  • SmashleeWpg
    SmashleeWpg Posts: 566 Member
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    I find it helps if you try to incorporate your friends into what YOU'RE doing, as opposed to going out with them or doing what they're doing. I've made it very clear to my friends that for the next several months I'm focusing on my fitness and health, so if they want to see me it will be to go for tea or coffee, to a movie (no snacks!), for a walk/run/class at the gym, or to get together and cook a healthy meal at home. They've all been very accomodating and I haven't found that I've had to be any less social than usual; I've just changed my choices. Because this is a lifestyle change for me, and not a diet, I don't want to alter my social life to the point where I'm stuck at home all the time or afraid to go out with people. Everything in moderation, and I just find I've been trying very, VERY hard to exercise as much willpower as possible.

    It also helps that I put the spin of "not only am I trying to get back into shape, I'm trying to shape up my wallet and save money, so I don't have $$$ to blow on crappy restaurant food and empty calories" :)
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I decided early into this thing that it wouldn't get in the way of living life. So, I still go out, socialize, and have fun. I go to dinner with my friends and family when the opportunity presents itself. I drink alcohol occasionally. And if it puts a damper in the weight loss, I try not to let it get to me. I tried Weight Watchers once and it didn't work for me because I couldn't figure out how to live life and do the program. With MFP, however, I'm able to do both.

    That said, I had three dates last week, all involving dinner, and I found that very challenging. I didn't lose any weight. That's not the norm though.