anyone else ashamed of showing there bodys to the s'o?

tashakk86
tashakk86 Posts: 81
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
ok first let me start this off my saying the giirl in the pic is NOT me! i put her up there for motivaton, thats my dream body and i figure by seeing her everyday maybe itll get my but in gear. itll either do that or just piss me off lol.. any ways ive been with my fiancee over 2 years,, ive yet to let him see my stomach.. i hide it at all cost even during sex.. does ne one else have this problem or am i just insane? lol please share your stories of what yor going through or maybe how youve over come this.. thanx <3
«1

Replies

  • VeganPanda
    VeganPanda Posts: 582 Member
    I feel the same way. Even though I am considerably smaller than he is, I still feel self concious because I don't feel I look like my ideal. Since I have lost 15 pounds, I have gained some confidence. He says he doesn't care and I believe he doesn't but I still can't help but feel flabby. I know how you feel.
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    yea my fiance says he doesnt car how i look because he loves me.. but i jst cant get over the "tire" srond my stomach. its embarassing
  • Rachiewoowoo
    Rachiewoowoo Posts: 142
    At some point... you *should* feel comfortable enough with your s.o (they're significant for a reason) to show them your body, "flaws" and all. Perhaps though, that is easier said than done for me, as my s.o is slightly larger than I am (there's no pressure from a super fit s.o body). Still, you should love each other enough to appreciate and be respectful of all the curves involved in sexy-time :wink:
  • ericalynn104
    ericalynn104 Posts: 382 Member
    Yep, I totally feel ya. I had that fight with him for years and finally I just gave up because I knew I wasn't going to win. I've always been very self conscious, but he's told me from day one that he thinks I'm beautiful. I'm still not totally comfortable letting him see it all, but I do, because in the heat of the moment, we are so focused on each other that our insecurities don't really matter much :wink:
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    i hope to be in shape by the time we get married so on or honeymoon i can surprise him with my brthdat suite lol
  • LiviLou2011
    LiviLou2011 Posts: 437 Member
    i use to be thin and i wasnt self conscience at all, but after i had my first child, i gained a bunch of wieght, which probably comes from me being so bored (i eat) depressed (i eat) and ocd (to forget i would eat) and now im bigger then i use to be with a flabby belly and big legs and huge boobs that i hate..i wouldnt say im ashamed i would just say that im tired of it and it makes me uncomfortable with myself right now...but ive lost 19 pounds :) feeling better..it gets better with effort and im ready to work my *kitten* of and get my body back so i can be comfortable in my on skin!!

    whoops haha spelling
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    I refuse to feel shame with my husband. From the day he became my husband I let him see any and all of me. He loves me. He tells me I'm beautiful. I own a mirror. I know better. But he sees with his heart, and not just his eyes, and I love him all the more for it!
  • VeganPanda
    VeganPanda Posts: 582 Member
    I refuse to feel shame with my husband. From the day he became my husband I let him see any and all of me. He loves me. He tells me I'm beautiful. I own a mirror. I know better. But he sees with his heart, and not just his eyes, and I love him all the more for it!

    I love that!!! So cute.
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    i use to be thin and i wasnt self conscience at all, but after i had my first child, i gained a bunch of wieght, which probably comes from me being so bored (i eat) depressed (i eat) and ocd (to forget i would eat) and now im bigger then i use to be with a flabby belly and big legs and huge boobs that i hate..i wouldnt say im ashamed i would just say that im tired of it and it makes me uncomfortable with myself right now...but ive lost 19 pounds :) feeling better..it gets better with effort and im ready to work my *kitten* of and get my body back so i can be comfortable in my on skin!!

    whoops haha spelling
    congrats on the weightloss!! :)
  • NessasMommy081311
    NessasMommy081311 Posts: 122 Member
    Totally. It took me 4 years to be naked around him. Even now I have the lights off, and cover my stomach with a blanket or whatever is around whenever we're in bed.
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    I refuse to feel shame with my husband. From the day he became my husband I let him see any and all of me. He loves me. He tells me I'm beautiful. I own a mirror. I know better. But he sees with his heart, and not just his eyes, and I love him all the more for it!
    that is beatiful!
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    Totally. It took me 4 years to be naked around him. Even now I have the lights off, and cover my stomach with a blanket or whatever is around whenever we're in bed.
    me too! i usually keep my shirt on! which is really sad
  • ericalynn104
    ericalynn104 Posts: 382 Member
    Totally. It took me 4 years to be naked around him. Even now I have the lights off, and cover my stomach with a blanket or whatever is around whenever we're in bed.
    me too! i usually keep my shirt on! which is really sad

    In a strange way I'm kinda jealous.. Haha! He won't ever let me leave my shirt on.. He's freaking obsessed with my boobs! lol (I'm not particularly fond of them.)
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    From a guys point of view... If he is your fiancee he probably really doesn't care at all.. Also from a guys point of view, it's probably actually driving him insane. If you make such a big deal about it all the time, he might start to resent the fact and stop wanting to get into situations where it becomes an issue... for example "sexy time" :)

    Everyone is self conscious about something if I'm sure. But I dont think you should be so drasctic about it... In fact I bet you would feel better if you actually let go on your inhibitions infront of him by his reaction!

    Confidence is sexy.... shake what ya mamma gave ya!
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    what's going on you ladies? i've been married for 20 years but i can't imaging being living a married life not seeing her naked body.
  • logicandlove
    logicandlove Posts: 191 Member
    Honestly, if your relationship has gotten to the point where you trust each other and it's a serious, physical relationship, I think getting yourself to feel comfortable with them is important.
    Even at my heaviest, I felt comfortable being naked around my boyfriend, because honestly, if he were the kind of person who would break up with me or fall out of love because of my stomach or thighs, then he's not the kind of person I want or deserve. When we're home alone we're usually naked, even if we're just sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games. A relationship that open and trusting really is priceless, and I love it.
  • i_am_losing_it
    i_am_losing_it Posts: 310 Member
    Sometimes if I am having an emotional time with my weight I don't feel ashamed but embarassed that I don't look as good as I used to when we met. It is all in my head though as he is always very aroused to see my body. It sometimes hinders my arousal by me being too wrapped up in "how I must look in intimate positions".
    But usually I am just proud and happy to be together :)
  • HaRLo24
    HaRLo24 Posts: 17 Member
    I refuse to feel shame with my husband. From the day he became my husband I let him see any and all of me. He loves me. He tells me I'm beautiful. I own a mirror. I know better. But he sees with his heart, and not just his eyes, and I love him all the more for it!


    That's so beautiful!
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    From a guys point of view... If he is your fiancee he probably really doesn't care at all.. Also from a guys point of view, it's probably actually driving him insane. If you make such a big deal about it all the time, he might start to resent the fact and stop wanting to get into situations where it becomes an issue... for example "sexy time" :)

    Everyone is self conscious about something if I'm sure. But I dont think you should be so drasctic about it... In fact I bet you would feel better if you actually let go on your inhibitions infront of him by his reaction!

    Confidence is sexy.... shake what ya mamma gave ya!
    your right! he is getting annoyed at it to the point to where he says hes not getting married until he sees "all: of me... and the one night where i tried to overcome the self issues i teared up.. i know im a dork but its something ive got to get over. sounds easier then it is tho
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
    I don't have a s'o, but if I did it wouldn't worry me...I love being naked...I'm almost naked all the time I'm home...Yea, I live alone, that is except for my budgies and they don't complain about seeing me naked......

    When I had a s'o I didn't worry about him seeing me naked and I was bigger then....

    The body, no matter what shape, is beautiful....
  • MUByM
    MUByM Posts: 208
    Totally. It took me 4 years to be naked around him. Even now I have the lights off, and cover my stomach with a blanket or whatever is around whenever we're in bed.
    me too! i usually keep my shirt on! which is really sad

    This!! I've been with my hubby for 5 years and up until a few days ago he saw me without a shirt for the first time. Sad I know, but I'm slowly building my confidence!
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    Honestly, if your relationship has gotten to the point where you trust each other and it's a serious, physical relationship, I think getting yourself to feel comfortable with them is important.
    Even at my heaviest, I felt comfortable being naked around my boyfriend, because honestly, if he were the kind of person who would break up with me or fall out of love because of my stomach or thighs, then he's not the kind of person I want or deserve. When we're home alone we're usually naked, even if we're just sitting on the couch watching TV or playing video games. A relationship that open and trusting really is priceless, and I love it.
    yor exactly right.. i should get over myself and let it all hang out lol
  • Tranquil_Miche
    Tranquil_Miche Posts: 66
    Well my husband and I have been together for twelve years (married 2 and half), so he has seen all my naked glory. LOL! Sometimes I just prance around the house in the nude. I was for a long time reluctant to do so or even to tell him my weight. I mean it took a long time; my comfort is actually a new development. We met after high school and I fit into a size five. I rapidly gained weight over the years, which made me self conscious. He is quite a bit smaller than me and I never liked that. He ate whatever he wanted and never gained weight. One time, during one of my crash diets I was sitting there eating a salad (I hate salad), and I looked over and saw him eating a ten piece bucket of fried chicken by himself watching Football. He never gained a pound. Ugh, I was so jealous. I could just look at his chicken and gain ten pounds. As my husband got older, he is now able to put on weight. I think it kind of made me feel better. Almost like me sticking my tongue out saying to him that it does happen. I still don’t feel sexy by any means, so I am so self conscious when it comes to sex. Making myself look and feel beautiful, and becoming healthy is what my journey is all about.
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    Well my husband and I have been together for twelve years (married 2 and half), so he has seen all my naked glory. LOL! Sometimes I just prance around the house in the nude. I was for a long time reluctant to do so or even to tell him my weight. I mean it took a long time; my comfort is actually a new development. We met after high school and I fit into a size five. I rapidly gained weight over the years, which made me self conscious. He is quite a bit smaller than me and I never liked that. He ate whatever he wanted and never gained weight. One time, during one of my crash diets I was sitting there eating a salad (I hate salad), and I looked over and saw him eating a ten piece bucket of fried chicken by himself watching Football. He never gained a pound. Ugh, I was so jealous. I could just look at his chicken and gain ten pounds. As my husband got older, he is now able to put on weight. I think it kind of made me feel better. Almost like me sticking my tongue out saying to him that it does happen. I still don’t feel sexy by any means, so I am so self conscious when it comes to sex. Making myself look and feel beautiful, and becoming healthy is what my journey is all about.
    lol it feels great seeing someone that would never gain weight ifnally gain some huh :P my man is 6'9 and 230 and hes tiny. i think if hed gain 100 lbs hed still be little becase of his height lol so thats not an opton for me. but i admire you for being able to just run around naked.. hope to get to that point one day
  • hedwighigh
    hedwighigh Posts: 299
    Yea.... I showed my stomach to a past boyfriend and he reacted by trying to break up with me (he was more overweight than me too :mad:)
    So I'm pretty scared to show my present boyfriend my stomach now even though it's much smaller than it used to be. It doesn't really help that he's pretty fit (I upgraded). Luckily, he's really understanding and knows what happened before. He's told me to take my time and not to do anything I'm uncomfortable with and although I know he wouldn't try to break up with me ... I'm scared of him not finding me attractive anymore :frown:
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    I was really self-conscious once I realized how big I was even with a boyfriend who'd been with me at my smallest. As I've lost weight, I've gotten more confidence and feel amazingly sexy now and I don't hide anything! Maybe what you should do, is just face your fears, step outside of your comfort zone and understand that it can only get better from here!
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    Yea.... I showed my stomach to a past boyfriend and he reacted by trying to break up with me (he was more overweight than me too :mad:)
    So I'm pretty scared to show my present boyfriend my stomach now even though it's much smaller than it used to be. It doesn't really help that he's pretty fit (I upgraded). Luckily, he's really understanding and knows what happened before. He's told me to take my time and not to do anything I'm uncomfortable with and although I know he wouldn't try to break up with me ... I'm scared of him not finding me attractive anymore :frown:
    exact way feel. but i guess the post from earler was right if they dont accept your weight there not the rght one for you.. but it is easier said than done
  • tashakk86
    tashakk86 Posts: 81
    I was really self-conscious once I realized how big I was even with a boyfriend who'd been with me at my smallest. As I've lost weight, I've gotten more confidence and feel amazingly sexy now and I don't hide anything! Maybe what you should do, is just face your fears, step outside of your comfort zone and understand that it can only get better from here!
    ive tried to step outside my zone..maybe as i lose weight ill feel better n my own skin :)
  • MostlyHealthyMomma
    MostlyHealthyMomma Posts: 44 Member
    I'll admit that I feel way more comfortable wearing something to hide my stomach. We like to play dress up :) (sorry if tmi) So it helps me a little because I get to cover my insecure spot and have some fun, and of course he has fun too :) I definitely strut around naked or almost naked though. It's fun and liberating and teases him. He's only known me +/- 10lbs this weight for the past year and half I've known him, so I can't wait for him to come back from deployment and see me smaller! He's also 6'8", around 280lbs, so I always feel small next to him and I'll admit I secretly like it that he's a bit bigger. My main goal is that he doesn't lose more weight than I do by the time August rolls around because he'll sure be seeing a lot of naked me either way! Haha.
  • paisley2288
    paisley2288 Posts: 913 Member
    I am 300+ and I am not ashamed to show my body to guys I am intimate with. Mainly because they don't really care. Your SO loves you and thinks you are beautiful no matter what you are ashamed of. :)
This discussion has been closed.

Categories