Can't control it

TurnLeftNow
TurnLeftNow Posts: 171
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
Just need to vent I guess.

Before I started to lose weight, I always ate a lot but I never went on binges. Sometimes I'd have one too many cookies, but it wasn't an out right binge where I couldn't stop eating at a rapid pace. I had a bit of fat on me but I really wasn't too overweight. Then I lost about 30 pounds and reached my goal weight/size of clothing. I have been working on trying to get into maintenance mode by staying here and keeping track of my calories. But I am still staying under my calorie goals/what I was eating to lose weight because I am scared to get back up to normal calories. However, the past week I have been binging really bad at night. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know how to stop this.

During the time I was losing weight over the past few months I'd have one or two days a month where I'd end up binging but I was always able to get back on with things the next day and it was never quite *that* bad. Now, I can't seem to shut it off and I don't know why. I think I had 3 binge free days out of the last 7 days.

There was a time in my past where I lost a lot of weight and restricted what I was allow to eat fairly heavily. I ended up snapping and binging like crazy and gaining back double what I had lost. This time around I made sure to allow my self chocolate and chips if I felt like them, I was trying to prevent what happened last time from happening again. Apparently that didn't work for me either.

There is something about calorie counting that makes me go... crazy. The past few months I have felt on edge and paranoid about what I eat, even if it fits into my goals. (With how paranoid I was, it seems ridiculous that I'd even "allow" a binge, but they still are happening.) I feel like I need to stop counting calories, but not stop watching what I eat, or my head is going to explode. I feel like this obsessive calorie counting is what is triggering my binging, because I just want to be free from all these thoughts. I want to stuff the food down as much as possible, eat as much as possible to make the thoughts go away.

I am afraid to stop though because I don't want to end up accidentally eating way over my calories and gain lots of weight back. I mean, it's sooo easy to underestimate stuff. But if I continue this, I am afraid I am just going to end up getting worse with my binges. I really don't know what to do.

I don't know how to handle this. Why was I doing so well for so long, and now I can't seem to control my eating? It was never this bad before I started to lose weight this time.

Any kind of advice, or anything would be very appreciated.

Replies

  • Andrea_McQ
    Andrea_McQ Posts: 56 Member
    Would it be down to the fact that most of us while losing weight think about what our goal is, but not too much about what we'll do or how things will be when we get there? So you haven't formed a plan to deal with being the weight that you want to be?

    I'd also suspect that if you are at your ideal weight but still eating under your calories for maintenance then you are still going to be losing weight and your body is not going to like that if it means you are going underweight - I'd suggest switching mfp to maintenance and trust the calorie recommendations so you are eating enough - the calorie level for weight loss worked for you, the level for maintenance should do too.

    And I would suggest you build in a treat at regular intervals, especially as you are now trying to set up your eating habits for the rest of your life - I try to have one nice thing every day, I vary what it is and sometimes it's less healthy than other days, so I try not to feel deprived and it helps to curb binges. Not that I don't go off the rails with it every so often though! It happens most of us, the trick is to write off what's done and move on when it does. For too long one slip up stopped me from carrying on altogether!

    Another thing that helps when I really can't get to grips with things - sometimes my poor eating habits are down to other things going on in my life - is to take a couple of days off calorie counting, plan to do it, and plan to get back on counting calories after the break is over. Get it all out of your system, I guess, and get back to how you want to deal with food going forward.

    Maybe instead of counting calories as you go along you could do up a meal planner using your calorie allowance and stick to it so you put the numbers out of your head? I know what you mean about being so fed up being ruled by numbers on every piece of food you look at let alone eat! Maybe you can do an initial count and then forget about the numbers and get back to enjoying your food again! :-)
  • garbanzalo
    garbanzalo Posts: 61 Member
    Do your binges have to be about chocolates and chips or are they simply about eating? Next time you feel a binge coming, eat fruits, vegetables or protein rich foods - carrots, apples, almonds, peanuts and so on.

    Your binges are most likely brought on by a diet rich in sodium, carbs and sugar and deficient in proteins. Sodium causes water retention and carbs and sugar cause insulin jumps which will leave you feeling hungry and carving long after you have had your fill of food.

    On your MFP tracking, watch not only the calories but *also* your sodium, carbs and sugar. Lower their levels and you will slowly get better.

    BTW, the cravings never go away entirely for a long time but after a while, you will handle them much better.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    Seriously consider just getting rid of everything binge-able in your house/apt.

    I literally just searched high and low for a chocolate bar that was left over from a girls night and then remembered that I gave it away on purpose just so it wouldn't be within reach...after 2 minutes of disappointment I grabbed a low cal yogurt....definitely wasn't about to go out in the cold just to find myself some chocolate haha
  • If you feel like you're about to binge then drink 2 big glasses of water. I find that fills me up so that I don't want to eat anymore :) But if after that you still want to binge, eat healthy foods, or a tiny bit of whatever you're craving.

    Also, if youre going crazy about calorie counting, have 1 or 2 days off a week where you don't count any calories at all :)
  • jjean55
    jjean55 Posts: 3
    YOU ARE NOT ALONE..I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.I ALSO HATE CALORIE COUNTING,SO NOW I TELL MYSELF---"JUST EAT HEALTHY" AND ASK "HOW IS THIS GOING TO EFFECT MY HEALTH?""
    IN THE TIME IT TAKES TO DO THIS--SOMETIMES YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR DESIRE FOR THE UNHEALTHY FOOD
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    The binging is likely being caused by the calorie obsession. Eat to live not live to eat. If food takes over your life it controls you. You would not give anyone that power so why give it to food?

    Take a step back for a few days and just live. I agree with taking a break from calorie counting and logging your food. If you want something eat it don't obsess over it. Even if it means temporarily deactivating your MFP account so that you can find your own balance.

    A lifestyle is something you need to be able to LIVE with. You obviously would not want to live every day on edge about every crumb that crosses your lips or you would not be here venting. And life has room for all that good stuff like cake and pizza pasta and ice cream. But like anything good or bad for us we have to have it in moderation. You can't eat a half gallon of ice cream a day fallowed by a cheese pizza and expect to be at your best. but you can have a slice or two of pizza when your in the mood. You can have cake and ice cream when you are at a party and not worry that you have thrown all your hard work away.

    You know what portion control is and how to make it work for you. So LET it work for you. :flowerforyou:

    I wish you the best of luck.
  • TurnLeftNow
    TurnLeftNow Posts: 171
    Thanks for all the replies guys. I really appreciate it.

    My diet is fairly healthy for the most part. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies and not too much sodium. I am definitely under in my sodium 98% of the time and I drink about a gallon to a gallon + a couple glasses of water a day. I am probably too much under my protein levels every day which causes me to feel less fulfilled.

    To be completely honest I hardly ever ate 1200 calories while I was losing weight. So trying to get to 1440 calories is even scarier. Rationally I know it's what I need, but irrationally I can't quite make myself eat above 1200 without feeling like a complete failure. I hate seeing those numbers go up.

    When I completely cut out the treats and chocolate and what not, when I don't have them in my house. I OBSESS about them. When I go to the store to buy my regular meal stuff, I just obsess about what I "can't buy". I'll think about it for days or weeks. It's not fun. I allowed myself treats on some days and I would eat some of the chocolate I have in my house. So I don't completely deprive myself, but I still can't have everything I desire. So sometimes I think I just get frustrated of having to stop at just one.

    I know I need to eat my maintenance calories. I feel like I need to use MFP to make sure I hit those goals the healthy way without going over. But if I count the calories I end up restricting. It's like an endless cycle. Then all these thoughts going back and forth about wanting to eat more but not allowing myself, being obsessed with the numbers, being depressed and being stressed out to the max with life adding to it all just makes me go crazy and I end up switching in the mode of stuffing my face.

    I will try and maybe go for more fruits and vegetables so at least I am not binging on chocolate.

    Part of me regrets joining MFP because it made me so obsessed. i am not sure if being thinner is really worth all of this. I wish I could just find a balance. Eat to the point where eating is just eating, food is just food and it's not my life.

    Going to try and take a break from counting calories on here and see what happens. See if I can last more than a couple days.

    Thanks again to those who replied with advice, it's good to know I am not alone.
  • jjean55
    jjean55 Posts: 3
    THANKS----JUST STARTED OVER TODAY--UR COMMENTS HIT HOME
    THANKS-jjean:happy:
  • Starting over AGAIN----I found a book "What are You Hungry for?"""--very helpful--explains a lot
    jjean55
  • This for all the comments. I am a binge eater also. I am on track most of time and then all of a sudden, shove things in my mouth. I do this at night and I am not hungry. I think I am bored. Also, it was easier to lose than maintain. I loved the goal and small successes. Once at goal, now what. I have put back on 10 lbs but, I know it will come off. Thx for reminding me I am not alone
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