Please comment if you've felt like this too..

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  • Ding724
    Ding724 Posts: 791 Member
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    I live in Minnesota and definitely don't get depressed when it starts to get nice out and I can finally wear shorts & tank-tops...hoping for an early spring this year!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hope that you're able to overcome this obstacle...perhaps you can use it as motivation to keep working out and eating right so that YOU can be the one out there enjoying the day and people will see you and think, "Dang! She looks terrific!" :flowerforyou:
  • Jeaniehop
    Jeaniehop Posts: 88 Member
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    I have felt discouraged but I don't let it get me down. I live on Lake Michigan and I'm an outdoors kinda girl! I love the sun and sand and maybe I'll be one of those skinny witches I've been jealous of for so long soon lol! Can't wait for shorts and flip flops!
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 123 Member
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    I was just crying on the phone YESTERDAY to my husband saying, "It's getting warmer, and nicer, and the days are getting longer, and I can't even get excited about it because I'm still nasty and I'll still be nasty when it gets hot because there's not enough time to lose all the weight!"


    So yea, I am sooo with you on that. It really sucks.


    Omg I had almost the exact same conversation with my boyfriend this morning! I'm sorry I know exactly how you feel:(
  • robinpickles
    robinpickles Posts: 78 Member
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    It's what's inside a person that counts.... that's the way its always been.... I wear shorts.... I'm not skinny... I have cellulite... I DARE anyone to say a word... I am a good person, I have a beautiful heart, and I am working on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and if they don't like it, then screw off!

    I've had two wonderful loving men in my life.. my departed husband, and now my current adorable boyfriend... I've never had problems finding quality relationships based on love, personality and the sexy beast that lives inside a overweight body..

    its all about how you feel about you... get that in check..

    wear those shorts.. be happy.. life is short... make good decisions, and keep trying to recognize the qualities not the imperfections...

    anyone who thinks they are perfect or best cause they wear a particular size, is only trying to compensate for their own feelings of worthlessness....
  • Jbarbo01
    Jbarbo01 Posts: 240 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel, and it really sucks to look at other girls who are really fit and compare yourself to them. I've found its not helpful, even to look to them for motivation as sometimes it can be more disheartening depending how far away from your goal you are. I just try to focus on small goals ahead of me, and just feel and observe the envy I have for those girls. Its just a sign that you really want that too and thats okay, but don't use it as a means to be angry at yourself as thats not helpful for anyone.
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
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    In a way, yes, although I do prefer the doom and gloom of winter anyway. I find the most annoying thing is the more extra weight you carry the hotter you get, especially when walking so the less you want to wear. I feel really quite self-conscious anyway but summer is a nightmare, for the last three years I have worn black opaques tights to work throughout the year, I refuse to buy any jeans until I can fit in my old pairs.

    If it gets to the point where it's too hot I do start to care less and just try to stay cool.
  • downhomechik
    downhomechik Posts: 47
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    My heart goes out to you. When I was super thin people used to say things to me like, 'must be nice to not have to worry about your weight and eat what you want and always look good'....that was NEVER the case. I have NEVER been able to eat what I want and I've ALWYS had to exercise tons to maintain weight. I used to get irritated because my sister was one of them that didn't work out and she ate exactly what she wanted -all the while verbally slamming me for staying thin...and she had no idea how hard I worked at it and how deprived I felt all the time.

    I'm heavy because I gave up on working it for a number of years. Being on both sides of the spectrum I try to be sensitive to both skinny and overweight. We are all here for various reasons; some medical, some emotional. The self-consciousness is all in the mind-our perception of what we are. If you feel pretty you are pretty. Try to self-talk yourself into feeling skinny!
  • Funshinerika
    Funshinerika Posts: 37
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    I totally understand how you feel! Here in Florida we are already getting some warm weather... and it lasts FOREVER lol.
    I remember going to a water park one time and it really hit me. I was in line for a two-person slide but there was an odd number of ppl in my group. I laughed and said "guess I'm the odd ball out on this one" when a kid behind me said "wow, that's one big ball." A stupid comment by a child. Yes, it got to me - shouldn't have but it did.
    It has taken a lot for me to get to the point where I won't let it bother me. Not anymore. I'm working on feeling comfortable in my own skin and confident - regardless of other people's opinions. Be proud of YOURSELF
  • shaycat
    shaycat Posts: 980
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    I was 110lbs last summer and still wouldnt go out in a bathing suit.
    It is about being healthy and comfortable in your own skin.
    I think it is a great idea to find a suit that you feel good in. Dont hide all summer, that is no way to live.
    I bet you look great. Just keep working on it and telling your self that you are beautiful.
  • honeysprinkles
    honeysprinkles Posts: 1,757 Member
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    I feel that for sure. I am a graduate student constantly surrounded by undergrads, and the style at this university seems to be short running shorts or leggings with anything, regardless of whether the girls are actually going to the gym. It is daunting sometimes to see that everyday. What I remind myself of is that a lot of those girls aren't actually healthy. They may be small, but they aren't strong or fit, and those who are work for it. Some small women, especially young women eat crap, just not a lot of it, so they are skinny looking but their insides are a mess. The first time I did a kickboxing class, after I'd been working out regularly at home for a while, I was so much more fit than some of the thin women in their short shorts, and I take pride in that. I also used to see these thin, fit girls at the gym and think "if I looked like that, I wouldn't bother working out." At some point I realized that for the most part they look like that because they work out. Now they serve as a good motivator.
    You may not feel like you can rock a bikini now, but that won't change if you compare yourself to others. Wear whatever makes you feel strong and beautiful.
    I'm currently an undergrad student at a huge university in Florida of all places so I see tiny tan girls in tiny shorts that I wish I could be comfortable in all the time! Now I try to just think that a lot of them work to get where they are and the reason I'm not like that is because of my own choices. It makes me feel better than when I let myself get jealous and assume that every single one of them looks like that without any effort. Now I try to see it as motivation. It's helped some. I'm really hoping to be farther along in my progress come summer though!
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Fat or thin, people always have something to say about other people. I didn't care when I was morbidly obese, and I don't care now that I'm just overweight and sorta skinny, lol. The opinion of my husband is important to me - and he thinks I'm a sexy broad. I value what my big sister thinks - and she's always telling me that at any weight I've always been the beauty of the family (so true, lol!) and she was always mostly concerned about my health. And the short furry children don't care one way or the other, as long as I feed them, pet them, and walk them.

    But most important is my opinion, what do I think when I look in the mirror? Honestly its 50/50. Some days I see: Damn - that is one fine looking, almost 50, formerly huge chick. Other days I see the belly, the batwings, the bubble butt. Either way, sometimes the view motivates, sometimes it depresses me. Its just part of life and dealing with our own personal ups & downs. I'm happy that I'm here and working on improving myself. If someone else doesn't like looking at me and has something stupid to say, screw them. No matter my weight I'm still a better person because even if I were to judge someone based on looks (and everyone does that at some point) - I would never be so rude as to say something to them.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 123 Member
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    My heart goes out to you. When I was super thin people used to say things to me like, 'must be nice to not have to worry about your weight and eat what you want and always look good'....that was NEVER the case. I have NEVER been able to eat what I want and I've ALWYS had to exercise tons to maintain weight. I used to get irritated because my sister was one of them that didn't work out and she ate exactly what she wanted -all the while verbally slamming me for staying thin...and she had no idea how hard I worked at it and how deprived I felt all the time.

    I'm heavy because I gave up on working it for a number of years. Being on both sides of the spectrum I try to be sensitive to both skinny and overweight. We are all here for various reasons; some medical, some emotional. The self-consciousness is all in the mind-our perception of what we are. If you feel pretty you are pretty. Try to self-talk yourself into feeling skinny!


    See that's my biggest problem. Yes, I want to eat healthy and work out but I refuse to let the gym consume my whole life. I'm just looking for a happy medium where I can be healthy and still live my life. I'm sure you felt the same way
  • riannenrings
    riannenrings Posts: 142 Member
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    i know exactly how you feel. you are not alone by far. unfortunately i think all women (even those perfect ones) feel this way because our culture has set us up to feel that way. i know that there is nothing i can really say that will change the way you feel about yourself, or them, because nothing anyone else ever said made me feel any better either. i never wear shorts or skirts because i have elephant legs, but recently i have decided that i am going to do what i can, ie. if i have a fancy event to go to i am going to wear a dress/ skirt that is the best style for my body type, wear some nylons, and big heels. i did it last weekend again and it felt weird at first but finally i actually felt good. it feels good to be free and i think its about acceptance. everyone has something they dont like about themselves and if you look you can find it on everyone too, but thats usually not stopping them from dressing how they want to and having a good time. i think i am finally reaching this threshold after years of self hatred and feels of disgust. i am almost 28 now. the years between 19-26 were were the worst. when you get older you learn to say F YOU to everyone else and whatever they think. hang in there.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I cant sit and feel bad about not being where someone else is. I can only sigh and say well if Im not happy with the way I look, I can get up at 5:30 am and work SOMETHING so that at least I dont feel inferior AND lazy.

    My dad always said Im not allowed to complain about anything unti after Ive done something that day to change it :D
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    It sucks, but maybe it's different depending on where you are. I live in New Jersey, so I go to the beaches here. Trust me, there are a lot of women who have a hell of a lot of confidence in a bikini, tankini, one piece, whatever, and they don't have super model bodies. I'm one of them. I want to get my tan on, and honestly if somebody has a problem with it, they can look the other way. I mean of course you see the bombshells on the beach, but good for them. Sure, I want to have a nice, lean body. But I don't let it prevent me from going to the shore. I think the culture definitely varies around the country depending on where you are.

    For some reason I feel better about my body in the summer than in the winter, no matter what. I still have issues with certain jeans, shirts, etc. for some reason, not sure why. I see other girls in jeans and say "I wish my legs and butt looked that good in these jeans."

    ^^^THIS^^^
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    Last summer we joined a pool near us for the summer and I spent nearly every weekend there with my daughter. I was wildly out of shape - not that I am in shape now. Growing up, I swam competitively for years and around a pool, I am most comfortable in a Speedo. Now I am not talking a banana hammock, but kinda like a boxer brief type of suit.

    I started the summer wearing that under a big surfer-type suit. I would take off the surfer suit to swim my 500 yards and put it back on because i was embarrassed by my gut covering a good portion of my suit. About mid-way through the summer I decided that this was stupid and gave up the surfer suit to revel in the half hidden looks of disgust that came my way.

    I swore I would use that as motivation to get in shape by the end of the summer. That didn't really work, lol. I gained weight.

    I wore what was comfortable for me. Even if it meant I knew folks were giggling. But it was a long time before I was strong enough to not really care.
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,287 Member
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    Don't feel depress. If anything it should give you motivation to get where you want to be healthy wise. Remember just because a girl is 100lbs and in a bikini doesn't mean she is healthy.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 123 Member
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    i know exactly how you feel. you are not alone by far. unfortunately i think all women (even those perfect ones) feel this way because our culture has set us up to feel that way. i know that there is nothing i can really say that will change the way you feel about yourself, or them, because nothing anyone else ever said made me feel any better either. i never wear shorts or skirts because i have elephant legs, but recently i have decided that i am going to do what i can, ie. if i have a fancy event to go to i am going to wear a dress/ skirt that is the best style for my body type, wear some nylons, and big heels. i did it last weekend again and it felt weird at first but finally i actually felt good. it feels good to be free and i think its about acceptance. everyone has something they dont like about themselves and if you look you can find it on everyone too, but thats usually not stopping them from dressing how they want to and having a good time. i think i am finally reaching this threshold after years of self hatred and feels of disgust. i am almost 28 now. the years between 19-26 were were the worst. when you get older you learn to say F YOU to everyone else and whatever they think. hang in there.


    I love this and I completely agree minus the part where you said nothing anyone says makes you feel better. Seeing everyones comments just reminds me that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who feel exactly the same if not worse than I do.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I've shed a massive amount of weight and am fit and healthy by any standard, but I still can't rock a bikini.

    That's okay, though. Rather than get depressed that other girls look better, I'll just be grateful for warm weather that allows me to get outside and be active.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see weight, guys only see bikini.

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