Please comment if you've felt like this too..

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Replies

  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
    Fat or thin, people always have something to say about other people. I didn't care when I was morbidly obese, and I don't care now that I'm just overweight and sorta skinny, lol. The opinion of my husband is important to me - and he thinks I'm a sexy broad. I value what my big sister thinks - and she's always telling me that at any weight I've always been the beauty of the family (so true, lol!) and she was always mostly concerned about my health. And the short furry children don't care one way or the other, as long as I feed them, pet them, and walk them.

    But most important is my opinion, what do I think when I look in the mirror? Honestly its 50/50. Some days I see: Damn - that is one fine looking, almost 50, formerly huge chick. Other days I see the belly, the batwings, the bubble butt. Either way, sometimes the view motivates, sometimes it depresses me. Its just part of life and dealing with our own personal ups & downs. I'm happy that I'm here and working on improving myself. If someone else doesn't like looking at me and has something stupid to say, screw them. No matter my weight I'm still a better person because even if I were to judge someone based on looks (and everyone does that at some point) - I would never be so rude as to say something to them.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    My heart goes out to you. When I was super thin people used to say things to me like, 'must be nice to not have to worry about your weight and eat what you want and always look good'....that was NEVER the case. I have NEVER been able to eat what I want and I've ALWYS had to exercise tons to maintain weight. I used to get irritated because my sister was one of them that didn't work out and she ate exactly what she wanted -all the while verbally slamming me for staying thin...and she had no idea how hard I worked at it and how deprived I felt all the time.

    I'm heavy because I gave up on working it for a number of years. Being on both sides of the spectrum I try to be sensitive to both skinny and overweight. We are all here for various reasons; some medical, some emotional. The self-consciousness is all in the mind-our perception of what we are. If you feel pretty you are pretty. Try to self-talk yourself into feeling skinny!


    See that's my biggest problem. Yes, I want to eat healthy and work out but I refuse to let the gym consume my whole life. I'm just looking for a happy medium where I can be healthy and still live my life. I'm sure you felt the same way
  • riannenrings
    riannenrings Posts: 142 Member
    i know exactly how you feel. you are not alone by far. unfortunately i think all women (even those perfect ones) feel this way because our culture has set us up to feel that way. i know that there is nothing i can really say that will change the way you feel about yourself, or them, because nothing anyone else ever said made me feel any better either. i never wear shorts or skirts because i have elephant legs, but recently i have decided that i am going to do what i can, ie. if i have a fancy event to go to i am going to wear a dress/ skirt that is the best style for my body type, wear some nylons, and big heels. i did it last weekend again and it felt weird at first but finally i actually felt good. it feels good to be free and i think its about acceptance. everyone has something they dont like about themselves and if you look you can find it on everyone too, but thats usually not stopping them from dressing how they want to and having a good time. i think i am finally reaching this threshold after years of self hatred and feels of disgust. i am almost 28 now. the years between 19-26 were were the worst. when you get older you learn to say F YOU to everyone else and whatever they think. hang in there.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I cant sit and feel bad about not being where someone else is. I can only sigh and say well if Im not happy with the way I look, I can get up at 5:30 am and work SOMETHING so that at least I dont feel inferior AND lazy.

    My dad always said Im not allowed to complain about anything unti after Ive done something that day to change it :D
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    It sucks, but maybe it's different depending on where you are. I live in New Jersey, so I go to the beaches here. Trust me, there are a lot of women who have a hell of a lot of confidence in a bikini, tankini, one piece, whatever, and they don't have super model bodies. I'm one of them. I want to get my tan on, and honestly if somebody has a problem with it, they can look the other way. I mean of course you see the bombshells on the beach, but good for them. Sure, I want to have a nice, lean body. But I don't let it prevent me from going to the shore. I think the culture definitely varies around the country depending on where you are.

    For some reason I feel better about my body in the summer than in the winter, no matter what. I still have issues with certain jeans, shirts, etc. for some reason, not sure why. I see other girls in jeans and say "I wish my legs and butt looked that good in these jeans."

    ^^^THIS^^^
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Last summer we joined a pool near us for the summer and I spent nearly every weekend there with my daughter. I was wildly out of shape - not that I am in shape now. Growing up, I swam competitively for years and around a pool, I am most comfortable in a Speedo. Now I am not talking a banana hammock, but kinda like a boxer brief type of suit.

    I started the summer wearing that under a big surfer-type suit. I would take off the surfer suit to swim my 500 yards and put it back on because i was embarrassed by my gut covering a good portion of my suit. About mid-way through the summer I decided that this was stupid and gave up the surfer suit to revel in the half hidden looks of disgust that came my way.

    I swore I would use that as motivation to get in shape by the end of the summer. That didn't really work, lol. I gained weight.

    I wore what was comfortable for me. Even if it meant I knew folks were giggling. But it was a long time before I was strong enough to not really care.
  • Bronx_Montgomery
    Bronx_Montgomery Posts: 2,284 Member
    Don't feel depress. If anything it should give you motivation to get where you want to be healthy wise. Remember just because a girl is 100lbs and in a bikini doesn't mean she is healthy.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    i know exactly how you feel. you are not alone by far. unfortunately i think all women (even those perfect ones) feel this way because our culture has set us up to feel that way. i know that there is nothing i can really say that will change the way you feel about yourself, or them, because nothing anyone else ever said made me feel any better either. i never wear shorts or skirts because i have elephant legs, but recently i have decided that i am going to do what i can, ie. if i have a fancy event to go to i am going to wear a dress/ skirt that is the best style for my body type, wear some nylons, and big heels. i did it last weekend again and it felt weird at first but finally i actually felt good. it feels good to be free and i think its about acceptance. everyone has something they dont like about themselves and if you look you can find it on everyone too, but thats usually not stopping them from dressing how they want to and having a good time. i think i am finally reaching this threshold after years of self hatred and feels of disgust. i am almost 28 now. the years between 19-26 were were the worst. when you get older you learn to say F YOU to everyone else and whatever they think. hang in there.


    I love this and I completely agree minus the part where you said nothing anyone says makes you feel better. Seeing everyones comments just reminds me that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who feel exactly the same if not worse than I do.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I've shed a massive amount of weight and am fit and healthy by any standard, but I still can't rock a bikini.

    That's okay, though. Rather than get depressed that other girls look better, I'll just be grateful for warm weather that allows me to get outside and be active.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see weight, guys only see bikini.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    My heart goes out to you. When I was super thin people used to say things to me like, 'must be nice to not have to worry about your weight and eat what you want and always look good'....that was NEVER the case. I have NEVER been able to eat what I want and I've ALWYS had to exercise tons to maintain weight. I used to get irritated because my sister was one of them that didn't work out and she ate exactly what she wanted -all the while verbally slamming me for staying thin...and she had no idea how hard I worked at it and how deprived I felt all the time.

    I'm heavy because I gave up on working it for a number of years. Being on both sides of the spectrum I try to be sensitive to both skinny and overweight. We are all here for various reasons; some medical, some emotional. The self-consciousness is all in the mind-our perception of what we are. If you feel pretty you are pretty. Try to self-talk yourself into feeling skinny!

    Even if you are not one of them, there are people who are model thin and don't work at it. My SIL used to be one. Until well into middle age she was a size 0 despite eating anything at all, having two children, and never working out--at all. Then at about 45 her world came crashing down in that regard and in two years she ballooned to a size 14. Her solution is to ask everyone around her "What happened?" and complain that it's "not fair." Of course it's not fair, but it's no more unfair than people who didn't get 45 years of effort-free perfect body, either.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    Last summer we joined a pool near us for the summer and I spent nearly every weekend there with my daughter. I was wildly out of shape - not that I am in shape now. Growing up, I swam competitively for years and around a pool, I am most comfortable in a Speedo. Now I am not talking a banana hammock, but kinda like a boxer brief type of suit.

    I started the summer wearing that under a big surfer-type suit. I would take off the surfer suit to swim my 500 yards and put it back on because i was embarrassed by my gut covering a good portion of my suit. About mid-way through the summer I decided that this was stupid and gave up the surfer suit to revel in the half hidden looks of disgust that came my way.

    I swore I would use that as motivation to get in shape by the end of the summer. That didn't really work, lol. I gained weight.

    I wore what was comfortable for me. Even if it meant I knew folks were giggling. But it was a long time before I was strong enough to not really care.


    I feel the same way about wearing a bikini. Even in a one piece or tankini I feel self conscious. Thank you though and good luck(:
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see weight, guys only see bikini.



    I wish I could believe this but when you are overweight and although this is embarrassing to say...when you have cellulite and stretch marks...trust me, not only guys but girls notice too.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
    Hell no, this never makes me depressed. It makes me so happy when it starts to get warm because I can do all the things I want to do without freezing my unmentionables off. Hiking, biking, swimming, geocaching and whatta galore! I don't care what anybody else looks like, unless they're hot. Then I'll stare as long as possible without being uber creepy and go about my business. Smile! Be happy! The sun is coming out! If you're jealous of the way they look, change the way you look! You can do it!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see weight, guys only see bikini.

    That comment is probably true, but I have ugly stretch marks and loose skin that doesn't look pretty and even if it didn't bother other people, I would not be confident about showing it to others.

    I still stand by my "just be grateful for the warm weather" comment, though. No need to compare yourself to others - just be the healthiest, most fit and active YOU that you can be.
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    Hell no, this never makes me depressed. It makes me so happy when it starts to get warm because I can do all the things I want to do without freezing my unmentionables off. Hiking, biking, swimming, geocaching and whatta galore! I don't care what anybody else looks like, unless they're hot. Then I'll stare as long as possible without being uber creepy and go about my business. Smile! Be happy! The sun is coming out! If you're jealous of the way they look, change the way you look! You can do it!



    haha don't let anyone catch you staring, it could get awkward. Thank you though!
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    I've shed a massive amount of weight and am fit and healthy by any standard, but I still can't rock a bikini.

    That's okay, though. Rather than get depressed that other girls look better, I'll just be grateful for warm weather that allows me to get outside and be active.

    I agree with what you have said because I am not attractive--at any weight or fitness level. I just don't see a need to cover up every inch of me just because I'm not Jennifer Aniston (gorgeous and fit), or Queen Latifa (gorgeous and overweight).
  • britexmom
    britexmom Posts: 145
    i live in texas, routinely at least 5 texas cities are in the top 10 fattest cities in the country....the whole state could pretty much stand to go on a diet, so no i dont feel bad at all.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    Hell no, this never makes me depressed. It makes me so happy when it starts to get warm because I can do all the things I want to do without freezing my unmentionables off. Hiking, biking, swimming, geocaching and whatta galore! I don't care what anybody else looks like, unless they're hot. Then I'll stare as long as possible without being uber creepy and go about my business. Smile! Be happy! The sun is coming out! If you're jealous of the way they look, change the way you look! You can do it!

    Of all the things I protect from the cold, I mostly protect my unmentionables. It's my toes and fingers I worry about frostbiting!
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see stretch marks. Guys only see bikini...
  • cprys8942
    cprys8942 Posts: 99 Member
    i live in texas, routinely at least 5 texas cities are in the top 10 fattest cities in the country....the whole state could pretty much stand to go on a diet, so no i dont feel bad at all.


    haha I'm moving down there!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Not sure if this helps, but guys don't see stretch marks. Guys only see bikini...
    I'm pretty sure they see loose skin, though. That's hard to hide.
  • Zombierawr
    Zombierawr Posts: 95 Member
    In all honesty, I used to feel this way. I mean, my sisters are all 90-120lbs, and even at my skinniest, I was 140ish. But I had a car wreck three years ago that really put everything into perspective, especially when my now 7 year old brother stood up for me when some kid didn't understand why I was wearing shorts in the pool (honestly, still hate wearing swim suits.) Find outfits you like yourself in, and keep on pushing!
  • clairification
    clairification Posts: 71 Member
    Oi, I feel you for sure! Heck, I feel that way in jeans and a sweater! But I'm working on it. I've always been my harshest critic though, even when I was thin I was afraid to wear shorts because I thought they looked bad...now I look at pictures and want to smack the skinny me :tongue: Whenever I get down on myself, I remind myself that this time I'll be thin AND fit, which I've never been. I'm working toward being healthy and strong. It will take a while, yes, but I will get there-and when I do, I wont be the skinny-fat girl I used to be. I'll be a sexy toned calorie burning machine! :laugh:
  • downhomechik
    downhomechik Posts: 47
    I walked on my own because I felt self-conscious and didn't want the whole gym to stare at me. When I started telling me friends what I was doing -one or two would join me now and then and we got into a walking frenzy. Now is the perfect time of year (here in Spring upstate NY) to get walking if its something you are into.

    When I felt a bit more in shape I started on the treadmill at the gym...

    Remember 30 min 5 days a week and 30 minutes doesn't have to be all at once.. A brisk 5 minute walk makes only 25 minutes left to do! Five minutes up and down a stairs...now down to 20 min and it goes on and on. Don't need fancy equipment or tapes to work out. I used cans for weights lots of times. I was never a gym type person - still am not.
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