"You need to stop losing weight" ... URGH!!!!!!!!!

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angimac
angimac Posts: 145 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need some perspective here, so maybe you, my fellow MFPs can help me understand something...

W. T. F. makes people think they have the right to tell me that I "need to stop losing weight now"????

These people are not medical professionals. They don't even play one on tv. *URGH!*

Yes, I've lost over 100 pounds, but I am still in the overweight class, medically. I'm not obsessed, and I'm not sickly skinny... Where were these people telling me I needed to stop gaining weight instead of passing me more food while I ballooned up to almost 300 pounds? My own MOTHER today on the phone asked...
Mom: Are you still losing weight
Me: Yeah
Mom: What do you weigh now
Me: about 182
Mom: You need to stop losing weight now
Me: Not yet, I don't. I'm still medically overweight.
Mom: When will you not be that
Me: I will be at a healthy weight when I reach 150
Mom: So you're going to stop when you get to 150
Me: I won't stop eating healthy and making good decisions, but I will stop actively trying to lose weight then
Mom: You just won't be happy till you're smaller than your mama, will you

???

I swear, sometimes I feel like the people who should be supporting me the hardest are the ones trying to sabotage me... For the first time in 40 years, I'm doing something for ME because it's what I want to do... for ME... and nobody can stand it! It's always about THEM...

When do I get the opportunity for it to be about ME?

OK - now I just did the BMI calculator thing for the first time in a few weeks... and I had to change the statement above from "but I am still in the obese class, medically" to "overweight"... Oh. My. Freakin. Gosh! I spent over 20 years listed medically as "morbidly obese"... I am now, OFFICIALLY, no longer obese!

But that still doesn't give people the right to tell me I've lost enough weight, or that I'm only doing this now to be smaller than them... Heaven forbid I actually do something in this life for myself, because it's what I want... *sigh*

The more I deal with the human race, the more I miss my dog...
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Replies

  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 521 Member
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    Jealousy will make people say ugly things. But you look fantastic and you're doing a great job!!!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Sorry you have to deal with that :(

    I've had coworkers tell me that my goal of another 40 lbs (which will put me at 170) is "too much." Uhh...thanks for the advice, but I've got this!

    Sounds to me like your mom is insecure and doesn't know how to handle you achieveing something she was never able to.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,080 Member
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    Rants are only good for you. We don't really get a lot out of them.
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
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    Mom: You just won't be happy till you're smaller than your mama, will you
    That line right there was the clue that it is all about her and her perception of herself. In this case, you're just an extra in her own drama. "Thanks for sharing, momma. Next!"
    Gosh! I spent over 20 years listed medically as "morbidly obese"... I am now, OFFICIALLY, no longer obese!
    Congratulations!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I find people speak before they think, not out of jealousy (always), but because they don't know better. Sad, but true. Hopefully when they see you feeling good about looking great they'll shut their piehole.
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    Sometimes people are jealous. Often times, they're just worried about you because they don't want you to get so wrapped up in losing weight that you get unhealthy with it and get too skinny or simply just end up malnourished no matter your weight.
    Either way, you're above it. Jealousy is a petty thing and so not worth stooping to. Worrying loved ones will always worry, but hey, at least we know they care. :happy:

    Edited for typos.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    Smile and nod and thank them for their concern. They probably just don't want you to look better than they do. Poeple are dumb that way. Just keep doing what you're doing.
  • TWrecks1968
    TWrecks1968 Posts: 138 Member
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    Loved ones have a tendency to try to sabotage your progress. They are faced with their own issues and their failures to address it. But, they are your loved ones, and just smile, say, "God bless" and stay on the program. If they truly care for your well being, they will get on board, if they don't, they don't. All you can control is how much you move and what you put into your mouth. Friend me, if you want. I have been told that I can be somewhat supportive. (:>)
  • kilojoule
    kilojoule Posts: 74
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    LoL i had a co-worker tell me to stop losing weight yesterday. I laughed and said nooooo 5 more lbs till my goal. Granted i will be at about 9% body fat but ya just laugh it off. Who cares what people think

    on the same thought i had another buddy giving me crap about constantly checking in to the gym on facebook haha...tells me he is going to unsubscribe me from his wall aaha who gives a ****. I have had a dozen other friends and family tell me i inspire them to get there *kitten* into the gym! haters gonna hate
  • spammyanna
    spammyanna Posts: 871 Member
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    I had my family say the same thing. In fact, a few days ago I posted on FB for my one year anniversary of heathiness, and not one of my immediate family members had anything nice to say about the fact that I've lost 46 pounds.

    Screw 'em.
  • becka_anaily
    becka_anaily Posts: 21
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    dot worry their jelous of you just ignore them & take their jelousy as a complent that your doing good, you should do what you want & not what others say :) well done for losin btw :flowerforyou:
  • k9runner1963
    k9runner1963 Posts: 108 Member
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    Hang in there and keep heading for YOUR goal! You are loosing weight for YOU not anybody else!
    Way to go on loosing 100 lbs so far!
  • christy_frank
    christy_frank Posts: 680 Member
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    Jealousy will make people say ugly things. But you look fantastic and you're doing a great job!!!

    Agreed. I have heard it too. People commenting that I am starving myself, that I do not need to lose any more weight, that I am cold because I don't have enough 'fat' on me. I am 5'5.5" and 140 lbs. I dont have many more lbs to lose, but I would like to get down to 130.... I hear it too.
  • nel0311
    nel0311 Posts: 248
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    Yeah I have friends that when i dropped 25 lbs they had the nerve to say that I was too skinny and i needed to stop. I was like well no...i may be smaller but i still dont like the way my body looks and feels. I will never stop working out....toning...and feeling good. I want to make it to a point in my life where i can eat pizza and enjoy it and not feel guilty or wonder how many calories that was.

    some people hate to see you shine!
  • amahaney123
    amahaney123 Posts: 4
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    keep doing what your doing! Do not let anyone make you feel bad for improving yourself. You are the only one that has to face you in the mirror everyday!
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
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    It might not be jealousy; it might be general concern and perhaps a reluctance to accept change in a loved one. If somebody hasn't had to go through the same journey, it doesn't mean anything particular to them and if they loved and accepted you before, they perhaps perceive that the hard work should be over and done with, now that you're out of the 'danger zone'.

    Congratuations on your tremendous achievement... think about the comments you receive, the spirit in which they're made. If it's out of love and concern, forgive them their clumsiness and set them straight, in a positive and happy manner and maybe it will catch on. If somebody's comment is based on jealousy though - give them both barrels...
  • brittanyscherich
    brittanyscherich Posts: 355 Member
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    Wow, that's horrible! I'm so sorry that your own mother said that to you. It's awful that your own mother is jealous of you, and not being supportive. Just keep at it, you're doing wonderful!
  • flea2449
    flea2449 Posts: 500 Member
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    My sister told me that I need to stop losing weight or I'm going to look old! HA!!! I just laughed!!!!
  • lorazaruba
    lorazaruba Posts: 61 Member
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    My motto this year is "I am doing this for ME!" That is all you need to remember!!! You are doing great! Keep going!
  • perlachavez100
    perlachavez100 Posts: 2
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    wow! you are doing great!!! keep it up :D ... i guess sometimes is a lil scary for our loved ones to lose alot of weight and may be that's were your mother is coming from but im preatty sure aside all the lost pounds, she's glad you're getting healthy! :)

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