"You need to stop losing weight" ... URGH!!!!!!!!!

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24

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  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
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    sounds like jealousy to me!
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    This happens to me all the time! My mom actually tries to force me to stop working out!

    It drives me INSANE, but you just keep doing what you're doing!! It may be that they're trying to sabotage you, or just incredibly misinformed, but keep doing what you know needs to be done.
  • dancingdeer
    dancingdeer Posts: 378 Member
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    I can totally relate to the Mother/Daughter competition!!! My mother and I have always weighed within 5 pounds of each other. Thank goodness I moved thousands of miles away from her, so I can distance myself more. I about had a nervous breakdown when she visited last year. Not a good relationship.

    Anyway - you just keep on doing what you're doing and know that Mother doesn't always know best. And congratulations on your terrific loss!

    Wishing you well ~
  • aeboone24
    aeboone24 Posts: 24
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    honest opinion. People are use to you being big they only know you as a bigger person so they feel as though you havent lost 100 they feel you lost 200. its hard for a lot of people to accept someone doing something good for themseleves and actually achiving it with great sucess.
    keep up the awesome work!!!
  • piwigirl
    piwigirl Posts: 2
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    I would suggest you say to the people in your life that feel they have a right to run it, that you are sorry they feel threatened by your success, perhaps it would be a good idea for them to find a focus in their own lives that will help them to achieve something and that you will support them in reaching that goal. Good luck with the rest of your journey:smile:
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
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    She seems to be making something that is your thing about herself, I have people like that in my life, its hard because shes your mum but I'm sure there are other people close to you who are more supportive, if not you have us on MFP!! :flowerforyou:
  • minnesota_deere
    minnesota_deere Posts: 232 Member
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    I need some perspective here, so maybe you, my fellow MFPs can help me understand something...

    W. T. F. makes people think they have the right to tell me that I "need to stop losing weight now"????

    These people are not medical professionals. They don't even play one on tv. *URGH!*

    Yes, I've lost over 100 pounds, but I am still in the overweight class, medically. I'm not obsessed, and I'm not sickly skinny... Where were these people telling me I needed to stop gaining weight instead of passing me more food while I ballooned up to almost 300 pounds? My own MOTHER today on the phone asked...
    Mom: Are you still losing weight
    Me: Yeah
    Mom: What do you weigh now
    Me: about 182
    Mom: You need to stop losing weight now
    Me: Not yet, I don't. I'm still medically overweight.
    Mom: When will you not be that
    Me: I will be at a healthy weight when I reach 150
    Mom: So you're going to stop when you get to 150
    Me: I won't stop eating healthy and making good decisions, but I will stop actively trying to lose weight then
    Mom: You just won't be happy till you're smaller than your mama, will you

    ???

    I swear, sometimes I feel like the people who should be supporting me the hardest are the ones trying to sabotage me... For the first time in 40 years, I'm doing something for ME because it's what I want to do... for ME... and nobody can stand it! It's always about THEM...

    When do I get the opportunity for it to be about ME?

    OK - now I just did the BMI calculator thing for the first time in a few weeks... and I had to change the statement above from "but I am still in the obese class, medically" to "overweight"... Oh. My. Freakin. Gosh! I spent over 20 years listed medically as "morbidly obese"... I am now, OFFICIALLY, no longer obese!

    But that still doesn't give people the right to tell me I've lost enough weight, or that I'm only doing this now to be smaller than them... Heaven forbid I actually do something in this life for myself, because it's what I want... *sigh*

    The more I deal with the human race, the more I miss my dog...

    that generation is never happy with anyone in there life, all they do is complain about everyone else. i avoid any personal conversation with my family, very nit picky, when they start running there mouth about someone, else i leave. tell her what she wants to hear.
  • trevino130
    trevino130 Posts: 1 Member
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    It's so easy to be offended when we are working out, eating right and have people criticize us for trying to do good for ourselves. I am not saying some people don't speak because of jealousy, malice or even ill intent. But keep in mind that many of the people that say these things loved us big, so pretty much you were great the way you were. So take a step back and remember, they loved you big and they will love you small. It's just an adjustment for them as much as it is for you. Good Luck on your journey :)
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
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    I think you have done a fabulous job so far and no one can tell you you have done to much until you are satisfied with yourself. Now obviously dont start getting bulimic or anything, but you are a woman, and your mom is pretty insecure to say that to you in my opinion, she see's you getting healthier, doing something that takes strength, and it intimidates her. Other people too.. if that's what they are saying. You should be hearing sounds of encouragement, not discouragement.

    With all that said. YOU GO GIRL!!!!
  • xoxluvvy
    xoxluvvy Posts: 15 Member
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    I deal with this at home too :/ my sisters always say how annoying I am for eating healthy and exercising. I personally think its jealousy and try to not let it bother me.

    I know it's hard with such negative influences but keep going! You're doing great and you already look great! There is no reason for you to stop improving your health as much as possible. You can do it no matter what other people say! Just surround yourself with supportive people :)
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    SO glad you posted this. ME TOO! I got people saying I'm 'thin' and 'how much more are you gonna lose?'. 160 lbs is NOT thin! - though I am quite a bit 'thinner' than I was. And frankly, I don't KNOW how much more I'll lose - how much more are YOU gonna gain! ??

    some people's children
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
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    I have the EXACT same sentiment. I ranted about it in my blog today actually. :) AAAAH it drives me crazy. I am well aware of my healthy range, and I am not going to go below that. I think it stems from 1) ignorance about anorexia 2) bad complements 3) jealousy.

    I think I am going to start asking people what they mean when they say that and respond accordingly:

    1) I am not in danger of losing too much weight because I am very concious about my body and I want to be HEALTHY and strong, but thanks for your concern. I am actually not close to being below my healthy weight range for my height, so no need to fear! Anorexia is frequently not about food anyway, it is about control, and alot of this whole thing to me is about eating healthy food and not junk.

    2) Thank you for saying that I look good where I am at. I just want to look better!! And if you don't like skinny (healthy) girls then I'm sorry, it is none of your business, just like it's not your business how I do my hair or what clothes I buy.

    3) It would probably be hard to tell their ulterior motives on this one. But If they are just being jealous/lazy/embarrassed that they aren't losing weight too then SCREW THEM for trying to bring me down.

    But anyway, keep up the good work! And if people want to bring you down, ignore them and find people who will support you, like us!! :) Yay for taking care of yourself!!
  • danielpinkney
    danielpinkney Posts: 44 Member
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    Smile and nod and thank them for their concern. They probably just don't want you to look better than they do. People are dumb that way. Just keep doing what you're doing.

    ^^^^ Sounds about right to me
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Well, I've had the "you're wasting away" comment. However, this is from someone who's sister used to be anorexic. So, a lot of it comes from where they are coming from. Jealousy, concern, worry. As someone said, if they're used to you always being a heavier weight, you'll seem to be wasting away when really you're just getting down to a healthier weight. Good luck!
  • Kickinkim418
    Kickinkim418 Posts: 257 Member
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    I SO HEAR YOU ON THAT!!!!!!! I've lost all of my excess weight of 30 pounds and have people telling me to stop losing weight! I'm not even on the low end of my healthy weight...I'm in the middle part of my BMI......MAKES ME SO ANNOYED...shhh....but I think they are just JEALOUS!!!
  • Ender928
    Ender928 Posts: 16 Member
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    You have made amazing progress be proud of that and love yourself. Keep up the hard work, be strong, you are improving yourself for the better. If there were serious health concerns and she told you to stop that is a completely different story. You're an inspiration to others.
  • colgosling
    colgosling Posts: 104 Member
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    I think that it is great that you are doing something for you!! Keep doing what you are doing, its your life and no one elses to make decisions for you.

    You are looking great by the way :)
  • original_cake_face
    original_cake_face Posts: 131 Member
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    Sounds like cut and dry jealousy to me. They don't want you to shine as you truly should be allowed to shine. Ignore them and keep on working... You're doing an amazing job and you should be very proud.
  • angimac
    angimac Posts: 145 Member
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    Rants are only good for you. We don't really get a lot out of them.

    Mmmm, ok, thanks... if you read past the rant, you'll see a success as well.
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
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    :flowerforyou: You have done a great job...keep up the good work and get where you want to be!

    I'm sure that if you had had your Doctor tell you to lose the weight you would have been able to refer her to your Doctor...get to the healthy range and have the happy dance you deserve it:drinker:

    You are doing this for you NOT her:flowerforyou:

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