Grandparents?

I'm 21, so not a grandparent yet lol. But I do find that my step-grandparents treat us differently than the "real" grandkids. It was way more obviously when we were younger and the step-grandparents would buy gifts for the "real" grandkids and we never got anything.... Kind of awkward.


ETA: My fiancé has a son, and my parents treat him just like I think they would any of their future grandkids. Granted, he spends most of his time with his mom, so my parents have only seen him a handful of times.

my son is not my husbands...but his parents treat him like all the other grand children
my SIL has a kid from a previous realtionship and her MIL treated him differntly then her other grandchildren
It depends on the person,it could go either way!

"Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

My sister is a step-grandparent (her ex-husband was 21yrs older then her) It was kind of funny hearing someone call her grandma when was in her late 20's but that is all they have ever known her by because she was there when they were born and she does not treat them any different but they are the only ones she has too.

I am not a grandparent, but I was the step grandchild, and I found I was always treated differently.
Smaller/less thoughtful/no gifts than the "blood" grandchildren, they didn't really ask me about how I was or what was going on etc., it's funny because I was part of their family for 16 years and never really felt like I was.

Now, having said that, my boyfriends family members treat all of their grandchildren the same, there is no "step" designation, they're all just grandchildren. It's been very interesting for me to see since my experience was so different.

"Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

This is how our family is.

Karen

My child has three step-grandparents:

Her dad's stepfather treats her like his own grandkid. Worships her. Actually treats her better than his real dad does---her blood grandfather.

Her dad's stepmother pretty much has no relationship with her.

My husband (her stepfather's) mother. She treats her as much like a grandmother as her other ones do. But my dd doesn't call her grandma. I think it would mean the world to her if she would, because she is the only grandchild she would possibly have.

Well if you don't want the kids you marry into why marry the person?? its kind of a package deal... you know what I mean?


I have step-grandparents. They did not become my grandparents until I was in my 20's so yes they treat me differently than they treat their "real" grandchildren because we hardly know each other. However; I still call them Grandma and Grandpa, they still refer to me as their grandchild.

I do not see why anyone would treat them differently, honestly they are part of the family. I do think that it takes time to get to know the kids, however; so if it is a new relationship - yes they will be treated differently, but it shouldn't be so much to the point that they are made to feel awkward about it... at least that is my opinion.

I mean that the grandparents may not want the children. The reason I ask is because my fiance (I guess it's kind of complicated) treat my children WAY different than they do his son. They buy him little gifts all the time, Everything is about him, and what he wants to do, and see him and doing this for him etc. It gets really annoying because my kiddos don't know why they are being treated different. We've been together since my kids were 1.5 and 4.5. They are not 4.5 and 7.5. My kids call his mom granny, and when they tried to call his dad grandpa (like his son) he corrected them saying "My name is Tony"

My step-grandparents were the same way when I was that age, minus the not calling him grandpa. It's sad, and it's hurtful, but it's not your kids' fault, and they should know that. Maybe bring it up to your fiancé and see what he says about it.

My step-grandparents were the same way when I was that age, minus the not calling him grandpa. It's sad, and it's hurtful, but it's not your kids' fault, and they should know that. Maybe bring it up to your fiancé and see what he says about it.

He says "talk to them about it" I've tried that, they get all butthurt. I once said something about them constantly buying his son stuff, right in front of my kids, and his mom said " He's my grandson, they are not my grandchildren" It is hurtful. It hurts them, it hurts me. It's not fair to anyone.

Wow... At this point, I would just avoid bringing my kids there and stick to bringing them to your parents' place. It's not fair for you kids to be in an environment where they're not welcomed. I think my mom started doing this with us as well, I remember not going to their place very often because it was just b.s... Now that we're older, we visit a couple times a year. I'm so sorry for your kids, it's not like they did anything to deserve it.

Well if you don't want the kids you marry into why marry the person?? its kind of a package deal... you know what I mean?


I have step-grandparents. They did not become my grandparents until I was in my 20's so yes they treat me differently than they treat their "real" grandchildren because we hardly know each other. However; I still call them Grandma and Grandpa, they still refer to me as their grandchild.

I do not see why anyone would treat them differently, honestly they are part of the family. I do think that it takes time to get to know the kids, however; so if it is a new relationship - yes they will be treated differently, but it shouldn't be so much to the point that they are made to feel awkward about it... at least that is my opinion.

I mean that the grandparents may not want the children. The reason I ask is because my fiance (I guess it's kind of complicated) treat my children WAY different than they do his son. They buy him little gifts all the time, Everything is about him, and what he wants to do, and see him and doing this for him etc. It gets really annoying because my kiddos don't know why they are being treated different. We've been together since my kids were 1.5 and 4.5. They are not 4.5 and 7.5. My kids call his mom granny, and when they tried to call his dad grandpa (like his son) he corrected them saying "My name is Tony"

My step-grandparents were the same way when I was that age, minus the not calling him grandpa. It's sad, and it's hurtful, but it's not your kids' fault, and they should know that. Maybe bring it up to your fiancé and see what he says about it.

This makes me incredibly sad, I dislike some people and this is why. I am sorry this is happening, I think for some people they take the "blood" relationship a little too far, had you and your fiancé adopted these children would they have reacted the same way?

This is one of those times your fiancé is going to have to step up and talk to them, because you guys are a family... these are his children too (even if they are not his blood). You should not have to sit and watch your children be constantly hurt over and over again.

If he wont talk maybe ask they not give the one gifts infront of the other children - if they get butt hurt TFB, its one thing to give him gifts but if they are not going to have something small for the others theycould just hold off on giving it to him at all.

My niece is my brother's stepdaughter. She was treated differently, but only because my sister-in-law and her extended family made it very clear that my niece was NOT our family. My sister-in-law's grandparents were the REAL grandparents, etc. My mother always remembered my niece on her birthday and Christmas, etc. But my niece never made much of an effort when my mother was alive (and after the REAL grandparents had passed away). But when my niece had her three kids, they considered my mother their great grandmother, because by this time, their biological great grandparents were gone. The whole thing is strange, because my kids don't consider by niece (step-niece) their cousin. She is a lot older than they are, and has never taken the time to get to know my kids. When we visit them (out of state), she disappears, and this is a grown woman. Very weird.

So it was always an odd situation, and sort of something that wasn't a choice on my family's part.

Do you have step grandchildren? Do you treat them different than your real grandkids? Please be honest.

We are raising my husband's 14 and 15 year old grandsons. I try so hard to treat them the same as my 19 year old son. I have to admit though....and shamefully.... it has to be a consious effort on my part. I'm sorry..... trust me.... so sorry.... but my heart has been with my children for the past 24 years. I love Morgan and Dan but I've only known them for 3 years so we are still feeling each other out and learning to work around each other. I really wonder if it's ever possible to love ANYONE as much as your own so I think that we have to turn our attention to loving them as much as possible and making sure that they feel loved enough. Also, even when I FEEL it, I am very careful not to SHOW a difference.