Grandparents?

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AmberJslimsAWAY
AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
in Chit-Chat
Do you have step grandchildren? Do you treat them different than your real grandkids? Please be honest.
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  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    My parents have two step grandchildren. Mostly they are treated exactly the same. One is 'mine' and one is my brother's. My stepson was treated as part of the family right from the word GO. As he has gotten older he has chosen a path that my parent's don't care for... that has changed how they treat him, not the fact that he was not born of me. My brother's step son was 3 when he came into our lives and is 11 now. He is very much their GRANDSON and my NEPHEW... Some people do not consider children born of their children as their grandkids. I think it's all in how the family dynamic is to start. :flowerforyou:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    I'm 21, so not a grandparent yet lol. But I do find that my step-grandparents treat us differently than the "real" grandkids. It was way more obviously when we were younger and the step-grandparents would buy gifts for the "real" grandkids and we never got anything.... Kind of awkward.


    ETA: My fiancé has a son, and my parents treat him just like I think they would any of their future grandkids. Granted, he spends most of his time with his mom, so my parents have only seen him a handful of times.
  • Karrix
    Karrix Posts: 288
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    I don't see why they would. My mother was adopted, my grandmother treats me the same as if we were blood related.

    Also, not relevant, but this thread reminded me of this epic meme:

    35mgrdh.jpg
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I don't see why they would. My mother was adopted, my grandmother treats me the same as if we were blood related.

    Also, not relevant, but this thread reminded me of this epic meme:

    To-And-From-Grandma%E2%80%99s-house.jpg

    I think adoption and being married into children is different. You want the kids you adopt, know what I mean?
  • PeaceLoveVeggies
    PeaceLoveVeggies Posts: 682 Member
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    My grandfather [my mom's stepdad] treated me the same my entire life. I lived with him and my grandma for a really big portion of my life [I decided to go to Puerto Rico for High School & College] and to be honest, my grandma who is flesh and blood treated me differently than he ever did! LOL.
  • Snow__White
    Snow__White Posts: 1,650 Member
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    my son is not my husbands...but his parents treat him like all the other grand children :)
    my SIL has a kid from a previous realtionship and her MIL treated him differntly then her other grandchildren
    It depends on the person,it could go either way!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    My step-mom treats my daughter exactly the same as her other grandchildren. I'm very lucky with my blended family - we all have pretty good relationships.
    When I was growing up, my step-grandparents (my mother's husband's parents) treated my brother and I very differently than the other grandkids. It was obvious and intentional. So, I'm thankful that my mother didn't stay married to their son very long! I had a step-grandmother that was wonderful - my bio grandmother had died a few years before and when my grandpa remarried her, she took it upon herself to be the "bonus grandma". She was very fun and treated us well.

    I think it's sad when families treat children differently - it's not their fault the adults have complicated lives.
  • ReneeG74
    ReneeG74 Posts: 16
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    "Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    I don't see why they would. My mother was adopted, my grandmother treats me the same as if we were blood related.

    Also, not relevant, but this thread reminded me of this epic meme:

    To-And-From-Grandma%E2%80%99s-house.jpg

    I think adoption and being married into children is different. You want the kids you adopt, know what I mean?

    Well if you don't want the kids you marry into why marry the person?? its kind of a package deal... you know what I mean?


    I have step-grandparents. They did not become my grandparents until I was in my 20's so yes they treat me differently than they treat their "real" grandchildren because we hardly know each other. However; I still call them Grandma and Grandpa, they still refer to me as their grandchild.

    I do not see why anyone would treat them differently, honestly they are part of the family. I do think that it takes time to get to know the kids, however; so if it is a new relationship - yes they will be treated differently, but it shouldn't be so much to the point that they are made to feel awkward about it... at least that is my opinion.
  • monroe61
    monroe61 Posts: 620 Member
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    My sister is a step-grandparent (her ex-husband was 21yrs older then her) It was kind of funny hearing someone call her grandma when was in her late 20's but that is all they have ever known her by because she was there when they were born and she does not treat them any different but they are the only ones she has too.
  • Sweet_Pandora
    Sweet_Pandora Posts: 459 Member
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    My husbands parents have 8 grandchildren, 3 are step grandkids, 1 being my daughter and they are all treated the same.

    Karen
  • shiseido_faerie
    shiseido_faerie Posts: 771 Member
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    I am not a grandparent, but I was the step grandchild, and I found I was always treated differently.
    Smaller/less thoughtful/no gifts than the "blood" grandchildren, they didn't really ask me about how I was or what was going on etc., it's funny because I was part of their family for 16 years and never really felt like I was.

    Now, having said that, my boyfriends family members treat all of their grandchildren the same, there is no "step" designation, they're all just grandchildren. It's been very interesting for me to see since my experience was so different.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    "Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

    I LIKE this a lot! It's kind of how our family works too. We have halfs, steps, etc. but they are all JUST PLAIN FAMILY :flowerforyou:
  • Sweet_Pandora
    Sweet_Pandora Posts: 459 Member
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    "Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

    This is how our family is.

    Karen
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    Well if you don't want the kids you marry into why marry the person?? its kind of a package deal... you know what I mean?


    I have step-grandparents. They did not become my grandparents until I was in my 20's so yes they treat me differently than they treat their "real" grandchildren because we hardly know each other. However; I still call them Grandma and Grandpa, they still refer to me as their grandchild.

    I do not see why anyone would treat them differently, honestly they are part of the family. I do think that it takes time to get to know the kids, however; so if it is a new relationship - yes they will be treated differently, but it shouldn't be so much to the point that they are made to feel awkward about it... at least that is my opinion.

    I mean that the grandparents may not want the children. The reason I ask is because my fiance (I guess it's kind of complicated) treat my children WAY different than they do his son. They buy him little gifts all the time, Everything is about him, and what he wants to do, and see him and doing this for him etc. It gets really annoying because my kiddos don't know why they are being treated different. We've been together since my kids were 1.5 and 4.5. They are not 4.5 and 7.5. My kids call his mom granny, and when they tried to call his dad grandpa (like his son) he corrected them saying "My name is Tony"
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    "Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

    This is how our family is.

    Karen

    And this is how MY family is. Apparently not his
  • pcousins13Patricia
    pcousins13Patricia Posts: 49 Member
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    My SIL has a child from a previous relationship but all of our family treats him the same as if he was blood related. He's my nephew and I'm his aunt. The grandparents treat him the same as the other kids.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    My child has three step-grandparents:

    Her dad's stepfather treats her like his own grandkid. Worships her. Actually treats her better than his real dad does---her blood grandfather.

    Her dad's stepmother pretty much has no relationship with her.

    My husband (her stepfather's) mother. She treats her as much like a grandmother as her other ones do. But my dd doesn't call her grandma. I think it would mean the world to her if she would, because she is the only grandchild she would possibly have.
  • pcousins13Patricia
    pcousins13Patricia Posts: 49 Member
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    "Step" is not a word in our family to describe children or adults. Family is Family.

    I LIKE this a lot! It's kind of how our family works too. We have halfs, steps, etc. but they are all JUST PLAIN FAMILY :flowerforyou:

    EXACTLY!!!
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Well if you don't want the kids you marry into why marry the person?? its kind of a package deal... you know what I mean?


    I have step-grandparents. They did not become my grandparents until I was in my 20's so yes they treat me differently than they treat their "real" grandchildren because we hardly know each other. However; I still call them Grandma and Grandpa, they still refer to me as their grandchild.

    I do not see why anyone would treat them differently, honestly they are part of the family. I do think that it takes time to get to know the kids, however; so if it is a new relationship - yes they will be treated differently, but it shouldn't be so much to the point that they are made to feel awkward about it... at least that is my opinion.

    I mean that the grandparents may not want the children. The reason I ask is because my fiance (I guess it's kind of complicated) treat my children WAY different than they do his son. They buy him little gifts all the time, Everything is about him, and what he wants to do, and see him and doing this for him etc. It gets really annoying because my kiddos don't know why they are being treated different. We've been together since my kids were 1.5 and 4.5. They are not 4.5 and 7.5. My kids call his mom granny, and when they tried to call his dad grandpa (like his son) he corrected them saying "My name is Tony"

    My step-grandparents were the same way when I was that age, minus the not calling him grandpa. It's sad, and it's hurtful, but it's not your kids' fault, and they should know that. Maybe bring it up to your fiancé and see what he says about it.

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