Negativity From Those Around Us
NaiaNZ
Posts: 72 Member
So I don't normally rant on here, but this weekend, people's comments REALLY got to me!!!
Saturday Morning: I was at the gym going for a run on the treadmill, and a woman came up to me and nastily said "I don't know why girls like YOU even come to the gym!!!!" I asked her what she meant by that, and she replied "You are already F***ing skinny! You just come here to show off and make us feel bad about ourselves!! I bet you had 2 grapes for breakfast you little B*tch!" Well.... That set me off!!! (I have never seen this woman in my life!) I turned around and I kindly explained to her that 12 months ago, I was 28kg (62lbs) heavier than I am now, and it is BECAUSE of my hard work at the the gym that I am looking so good! And that maybe if she stopped wasting her time critisizing people and assuming things that she knows nothing about, and concentrated on her own life and her own workout, then she may feel better about herself and not feel the need to bring other people down out of spite and jealousy, and that being nasty to other people isn't going to make her feel any better about herself! Well, she spun around and walked away pouting and staring at me for the rest of the time I was there.
Saturday Night: We had a family dinner (with alot of my family that I havent seen in a long time) and when I arrived everyone was amazed and was commenting on how great I looked!! Which was sooo nice and made me feel amazing!
Well, dinner time arrived, and I ordered Scallops and a Greek Salad (YUM!!!) ... This was when the comments started. "A salad? No wonder you are so skinny, you're annorexic!" "Why don't you have a steak and chips?" "A salad? Really? You're skinny already, you don't need to eat like that!" "Ohhhh you're on one of those diets, hahahaha" "Eat some REAL food!" "Annorexic!"
My gosh it got to me!! I'm sorry, I didnt know that Scallops and greek salad werent real food? Do they really think I lost weight by eating a huge steak with hot chips and coleslaw?? Do they not think that maybe I have a big breakfast and a big lunch and prefer a smaller dinner?
Why comment on how good I look and then turn around and put me down for the same thing?
My friends and family used to tease me and joke at me for being the chubby one, and now that I have reached my goal (as of this morning by the way! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!) they have even more negative comments than they did before! (May I add that I am not overly skinny, I am at the weight that my doctor reccomended that I should be!)
Has anyone else experienced this? I normally don't let peoples comments get to me, but it's starting to really brass me off!!
Is it jealousy? Or just ignorance?
Anyway, rant over! I hope everyone is having an awesome day! Stay positive, and don't let other people bring you down and discourage you!
Xxxx
Saturday Morning: I was at the gym going for a run on the treadmill, and a woman came up to me and nastily said "I don't know why girls like YOU even come to the gym!!!!" I asked her what she meant by that, and she replied "You are already F***ing skinny! You just come here to show off and make us feel bad about ourselves!! I bet you had 2 grapes for breakfast you little B*tch!" Well.... That set me off!!! (I have never seen this woman in my life!) I turned around and I kindly explained to her that 12 months ago, I was 28kg (62lbs) heavier than I am now, and it is BECAUSE of my hard work at the the gym that I am looking so good! And that maybe if she stopped wasting her time critisizing people and assuming things that she knows nothing about, and concentrated on her own life and her own workout, then she may feel better about herself and not feel the need to bring other people down out of spite and jealousy, and that being nasty to other people isn't going to make her feel any better about herself! Well, she spun around and walked away pouting and staring at me for the rest of the time I was there.
Saturday Night: We had a family dinner (with alot of my family that I havent seen in a long time) and when I arrived everyone was amazed and was commenting on how great I looked!! Which was sooo nice and made me feel amazing!
Well, dinner time arrived, and I ordered Scallops and a Greek Salad (YUM!!!) ... This was when the comments started. "A salad? No wonder you are so skinny, you're annorexic!" "Why don't you have a steak and chips?" "A salad? Really? You're skinny already, you don't need to eat like that!" "Ohhhh you're on one of those diets, hahahaha" "Eat some REAL food!" "Annorexic!"
My gosh it got to me!! I'm sorry, I didnt know that Scallops and greek salad werent real food? Do they really think I lost weight by eating a huge steak with hot chips and coleslaw?? Do they not think that maybe I have a big breakfast and a big lunch and prefer a smaller dinner?
Why comment on how good I look and then turn around and put me down for the same thing?
My friends and family used to tease me and joke at me for being the chubby one, and now that I have reached my goal (as of this morning by the way! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!) they have even more negative comments than they did before! (May I add that I am not overly skinny, I am at the weight that my doctor reccomended that I should be!)
Has anyone else experienced this? I normally don't let peoples comments get to me, but it's starting to really brass me off!!
Is it jealousy? Or just ignorance?
Anyway, rant over! I hope everyone is having an awesome day! Stay positive, and don't let other people bring you down and discourage you!
Xxxx
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Replies
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All I can say about the gym incident (it will never happen to me LOL) is that you were far more diplomatic than I would have been.
As to the family and friends I get the "go ahead, you've earned it" comments after "wow, you've lost a lot of weight" compliments. I suspect that there's a certain amount of jealousy - you're making positive changes in your life and they're still doing the same old same old.
Have a Tui - you've earned it!
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I think jealousy is a big part of it. People don't like to feel that they should be the ones losing the weight who haven't got around to it and all the while you're proving that it is doable.
I can see why you're angry (I would be too), but it is THEIR problem and not yours so shake it off, be happy that you've achieved your goal and use all that negative energy to motivate you on one of those days that you can't face a workout. 0 -
I've never experienced the thing at the gym (I seriously cant believe the mouth on some people though, that amazes me) but I get that same crap from my family all the time. Every meal I make warrants some kind of comment.
Brush it off and dont ever stop being proud of yourself for doing the right thing, you'll always be healthier and happier than those people in the long run, and you deserve it too.
P.s good on you for not ripping that womans head off
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Oh Renee!! Rant all you want!! Jealously runs rampant when one glows with accomplishment. Embrace all the hard work it took you to get there and hold your head high. Those people just want to blink and wake up looking like you...haha. If someone does that to you again smile sweetly and say "thank you are your done?". Everyone around you already knows that person is being rude. I'm glad we met here on MFP and I'm honored to be your friend. Chin up girlie!!!0
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Wow. The gym thing is just, um, I would've been speechless.
And as far as the family thing, i don't know why anyone feels they have the right to comment on what someone else is eating - be it healthy or unhealthy.
I know that for me, being around someone who is eating super healthy when I am not, it makes me feel guilty about my own choices. But I'd NEVER say something to them about it!0 -
Congratulations on reaching your goal. That is awesome. Sometimes the people around us don't know how to respond to the changes that we make in our lives so they do it in a negative way. Don't let them bring you down!0
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Nobody wants to feel inferior. Through your hard work, time and dedication you achieved what others only "think" about doing. It is very easy to be upset with these people, but understand that they aren't upset or jealous of "you"- this is disappointment in themselves directed to the object that reminds them of what they don't have. Keep up the good work, and don't give those who would revel in your defeat the opportunity.0
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Congrats on reaching your goal!
I am very fortunate that I just don't have nasty people like that around me. Nobody at the gym would even think of saying something so nasty to anyone else and my family knows that my weight is where it is because of how I eat, so they are supportive.0 -
I just read another post about someone being rude in a grocery line while her cart was packed with processed food and the healthy woman that posted the story politely put her in her place....
If someone said that to me at the gym...especially called me a *****.. I'd make her choke on her teeth so its awesome you were able to politely tell her off!
I have issues with my family too eventhough Ive lost 70lbs. My mom has always ridiculed me for my weight and just the other day she made another joke about it...Which is funny because shes heavier than me now. What she doesnt realize is her comments arent funny or appreciated... Its okay though.. Because today when Saw my reflection in a full length mirror at the store I realized that I look pretty incredible. Its great you have confidence to stand up for yourself. Keep it up!!0 -
Wow, I can't believe the woman at the gym! Good for you for telling her the truth. I see people like that (like you!) there and it would be very inspiring; you never know where people have come from. As for the family thing....I think many people who feel close to you make those sorts of comments....all you can really do is ignore them.0
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OK, first of all: FR sent because your attitude kicks @$$
Secondly good for YOU. YOU accomplished all of this from hard work and dedication. And your family? Unless you start walkin' around with print outs of your diary, are always gonna have something to say.
As are people who see you in the gym, the mall, the grocery store. In case you haven't noticed on here this weekend alone, people are full of opinions. All you can do is find your true self and your happy place and move forward.
In other words, screw them.
Keep kicking @$$ :flowerforyou:0 -
at first, when i would hear those comments from friends and family, i would take them as compliments. at one point, however, they really started to get to me. i was tired of justifying my healthier eating/exercise habits everywhere i went and hearing comments like "just stop already, it's getting ridiculous."
one day i was confronted by a handful of acquaintances who harshly told me i was now too skinny and that i needed to stop because it was an unhealthy way of life. (if you could see me, you would know right away that i am far from being skinny; plus, it has taken me over a year to lose this weight, with the help of a dietician and personal trainer. i honestly can't think of a healthier way to go about this.) a friend overheard this conversation and later contacted me with some great support. she herself has lost over 100 lbs and is in great shape. she said that she experienced that same thing on her weight loss journey, which was a few years back. she said once people get used to the "new me" they will no longer consider me such a freak show (for lack of better words) and they will just accept me for who i am...and that i should be proud of my hard work and my success . during the transition phase, it throws people off to see such changes.
i don't like to assume everyone is envious...however i might add that not one person who has ever made such comments was within a healthy weight range. just sayin'.0 -
Thanks so much for the supportive words everyone!! I am so so greatful!
You all made me smile, and made my day 100x better!
I guess at the end of the day, we can't change other people's views and attitudes, we just need to learn not to let them affect us!!
Thank you xxxx0 -
Good for you. I think being straight up and honest with family and friends that their comments are not helpful and I expect them to be more supportive in my weight loss. Now on the other hand if I were to order a triple chocolate ice cream dessert, I would hope they would ask me if I am sure I wanted that.0
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