depression

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

I know I'm not putting this into the right category...couldn't figure out where to put it.

Anywho...I've suffered from depression/anxiety my whole life. I spent a year of my life in the hospital. I was on meds from the time I was 9 until I was 14 and at that time my parents refused to pay for them so I had no choice but to go off, but I did fine off of them.

I was hospitilized at 19 again, but wasn't admitted. I ended up going on an anxiety med.

I took myself off because I was a zombie and couldn't take care of my kid.

At like 23? I think, I started going back to therapy and went back on my meds. My therapist was a joke, I have an addictive personality and was going to aa and na (which is another long story) and she seriously suggested replacing one addiction with another. I ended being put on 7 different meds at once from the psychiatrist I was seeing and even though I told him I didn't feel right, he kept uping my dosage, I ended up hospitalized because I was so sick from being over medicated. I then again quit everything.

At 26 right before I got married my GP put me on a very low dosage of two different meds and I felt great, except for the fact that I ended up with a permanent side effect. p; so needless to say, I went off again.

So i've been off of medication for 2 years now. Most days I'm fine. I learn to cope. But lately it's been in full force, but there are things happening in my life that are triggering it. 1 of which I have no control over, the other, well hopefully we can sort it out soon, but it's a real downer. I can't get out of this slump though. I go full days without even talking to anyone except my kids and husband unless I don't have a choice. Some days I don't even talk to my husband. It's getting to the point where I was at before I was hospitalized. It takes all the energy I have some days just to wash my hair. I have to force myself to eat. I can't sleep. I just wanna lay around like a log.

All of my hobbies I've lost interest in.

Anywho...I don't want to go back on my meds. For one, well I haven't done great with them in the past, and two I can't afford them. I'm just wondering if maybe anyone on here has ever gone through this and if you have tried any herbal or natural remedies. Any foods that are mood boosters? Any advice at all?

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

bump

JoeD1968 · March 2012

search the net for things that can help with mood.Food,music,activities,and just venting can help.

DreamiJeani · March 2012

I run. Its not always about the calorie burning. It clears my head and makes me feel like im the boss. I have been in the place where I really just want to die but since I started running Im happy. Like genuinely happy. My anger issues are down to controllable and I dont lose it like i used to.

So i recomend running. Just do what you can do

kcnjason · March 2012

I can relate to your post almost identical! I have just went off of my same meds almost 2 months ago and I'm a wreck! I don't want to take meds anymore, I want to live my life without them but I'm an emotional mess. I'm more negative then I ever am. A friend who is an OB nurse suggests St Johns Wort and Vit B3. I have been taking them and a multi vitamin and I haven't noticed much difference but I still feel I need to give it more time. I know that taking a 15-20 min walk every day is good and is a natural mood enhancer. Have you ever tried zumba? that is a lot of fun as well. Anyways, I'm anxious to see what others have to say on this post. Thanks for sharing!

s1lence · March 2012

I've been on depression meds before and they didn't work. My doctor at the time kept bumping up the dosage and then I decided that I wouldn't go through it any more after a few years of being on them. I got out and started doing things with friends (even though I didn't want to) and I started to get active. I've fought with depression most of my life and for some odd reason the only thing that seemed to adjust my moods, besides exercising here lately, was when I was on the depo shot. I guess for me it's more of a hormonal thing.
When I have a bout of depression now I exercise, try very hard to think of things that would make me feel better even if things are bad. If all else fails, I end up calling someone that can help before I get too low. The calls that I make aren't to make myself feel better in the long run it's mostly to get my mind on other things.
My family has discovered the ques that I put off unintentionally just before I start to get depressed and they try to be supportive to cut it off before it starts. It doesn't always work but just knowing that they are trying to help will sometimes lighten my mood. A good support system is really important, that way when you can't seem to help yourself you have others around you that can try to help you.

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

I'm not coordinated enough to run. Seriously, I look like a duck running.

I don't have a great support system. The only person I really have is my husband and he's not good with emotions.

suja1983 · March 2012

Don't worry about what you look like. Running and feeling better will benefit you, not others. Do you not have friends from school or friends from your child's school that you can talk to?
I suffer from depression and like u have a husband who doesn't know the meaning of the word emotion. Add me as a friend and you can vent.

Xx

TiffanyDawn79 · March 2012

Work out. Anything where you can get your heart rate up and keep it up for 30+ minutes. Laying on the couch will just make you feel worse about where your at. Even if you don't want to do it... do it anyway. That goes with anything and everything. (the store, talking to people, working out etc.) It really is a great mood enhancer. I can be feeling really down and as soon as I workout I feel so much better about myself and that feeling lasts throughout the entire day. I wish you well.

mrsjennifermaffei · March 2012

I have no advice for you since you didn't list enough information for me to give appropriate advice on. I do wish you luck and hope that you find your balance in life where you can be happy without being severely over medicated.

htmlgirl · March 2012

Create some goals, it'll give you something to focus on besides your depression. You should also try to go outside, being in the sunlight helps... exercise, make sure you are eating healthy. Go on walks with your hubby or by yourself. Listen to music, draw/paint/etc.

Medication and therapy never really helped me, it just took many years to get through.

jaxCarrie · March 2012

I see in your profile that you really don't exercise - add 30 minutes of activity (anything to get your heart rate up) a day - that should release some endomorphins (sp) and some good brain chemistry. I see you live in ohio too - I think it's cloudy there a lot (i grew up in Pittsburgh and know clouds)...a lightbox might help (did wonders for a friend of mine) lighten your mood. Depression is a tough cookie...good luck doing it without medication!!

lorac321 · March 2012

Any type of work out - even walking outside. Even though I don't want to do it sometimes, and it takes every fiber of my being, I ALWAYS feel better after I'm done. (I don't run though - haven't gotten that far yet).

jenlee_74 · March 2012

I've been on meds for bipolar for about 5 years. I hate pharmaceutical drugs and don't believe in them, but they Work! for me anyway. It has taken years to refine the dose and iron out all the side effects but I feel dandy now. I am one to definitely use food, exercise and herbs for health. But I want to give support too- if you need meds, be patient and let them to work for you. If you don't like your doc, try a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner (RN, MHNP). And if you can feel well and maintain with a healthy lifestyle alone, good for you!
Buck up little camper. It will be ok

2getgeorge · March 2012

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. When I feel down I use my Light box. I feel better after a few min. Research light therapy for depression. It might help mood swings.

Contrarian · March 2012

I really think you need to have another conversation with your doctor. They have made a lot of progress with depression medication over the last couple of years and they don't have to make you feel like a zombie.

Clinical depression is a serious illness, as you know, and you might have to accept the fact that you may need medication for the rest of your life. If you had a heart condition, you would take medication for it, wouldn't you?

Just my opinion.

RAFValentina · March 2012

There's a mental illness/health group / forum on here... have a little search... I bet you'll find a load of good help in there! I'm in there too because I had a grief related insomnia problem and my family have had a few issues too so it's good for advice with that!

x

RAFValentina · March 2012

I really think you need to have another conversation with your doctor. They have made a lot of progress with depression medication over the last couple of years and they don't have to make you feel like a zombie.

Clinical depression is a serious illness, as you know, and you might have to accept the fact that you may need medication for the rest of your life. If you had a heart condition, you would take medication for it, wouldn't you?

Just my opinion.

And this! D'uh...I feel stupid now for not saying this too!

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

I see in your profile that you really don't exercise - add 30 minutes of activity (anything to get your heart rate up) a day - that should release some endomorphins (sp) and some good brain chemistry. I see you live in ohio too - I think it's cloudy there a lot (i grew up in Pittsburgh and know clouds)...a lightbox might help (did wonders for a friend of mine) lighten your mood. Depression is a tough cookie...good luck doing it without medication!!

I exercise pretty much every other day. This week I've just sucked with logging.

D446 · March 2012

What was the side effect of the drugs that worked? You could take something else for the side effect?

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

I really think you need to have another conversation with your doctor. They have made a lot of progress with depression medication over the last couple of years and they don't have to make you feel like a zombie.

Clinical depression is a serious illness, as you know, and you might have to accept the fact that you may need medication for the rest of your life. If you had a heart condition, you would take medication for it, wouldn't you?

Just my opinion.

I can't afford a visit to the doctor right now

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

What was the side effect of the drugs that worked? You could take something else for the side effect?

The side effect is rls and I can't take the drug that most docs perscribe for it, and I haven't found a doctor yet who will try something else. I just deal with it. I have it even off the med, but it's amplified on it.

boodlelibra · March 2012

Similar boat, minus hospitalization. I've been taking B vitamins and St John's and don't think they help but it's hard to tell cuz I don't want to quit and spiral. Exercise seems to be the only thing that helps - I particularly like weights, jogging, and zumba. I've been in a particularly hard funk the last couple months and though I don't look forward to working out I feel better afterwards. I'm doing Couch to 5K right now, 3 workouts a week that increase gradually in difficulty. Was going to try taking a class at the CC but I'm not interested in anything.

Wish I had more for you, at least knowing we're not alone is a start I guess.

shakybabe · March 2012

Exercise is meant to be beneficial for depression. I do Wii fit, you mentioned having a child you could do fun games like the dancing ones and youre keeping fit, playing with your child and having fun.

I notice a difference if I exercise first thing my mood is lifted all day, if I haven't managed it for a few days, I get depressed quickly over tiniest thing and sends me into a panic I have no support and housebound for much of the time so get all of my support from online friends and communities,

I don't take anything for depression either but reducing the pain levels has helped and thats come from exercise and getting some weight off.

katherinemm31 · March 2012

I've dealt with depression my whole life, too, and have been on meds most of my adult life. I'm sorry you're in a bad place right now. That sucks.

The thing that gets me up and moving the most is a regular schedule of meaningful, active work that takes me out of the house. Seriously, I can waste an entire day on the couch if I don't have something that makes me get out. I'm very mission oriented, meaning I want to do something good for the world, so as much as I can do that, I will, but I need the right structure. It's pretty common knowledge that people who are depressed can have great difficulty maintaining motivation and structure on their own.
Right now, my schedule demands I get out three times a week, but I am trying to increase it to five. I don't know if you have time to work or volunteer, but if you can, then do it.

Incidentally, my mom has been like this her whole life, too. And you often see retired people go through depression when they don't get out and do something that makes them feel good about themselves. Mothers who need adult interaction also get down because they feel trapped (though they love their kids). I guess it's kind of normal to a point because everyone needs to feel s/he is accomplishing something and needs a way to connect to others. People who get depressed regularly and overeat have even greater challenges, but that doesn't mean they can be overcome. Just my two cents. Hang in there.

Kailel · March 2012

My last antidepressant loaded on 50lbs in 3 months that I've been taking the last 3 years to get off. Nothing like 50lbs in 3 months to really add to a depressed person's self-issues.

Anyway, when I can't get myself out of bed, laughter's most important to me. Watch something you remember liking way back when, or spend some of the day looking at cat pictures or whatever you're into. No, it won't cure your depression-- in my experience of 12 years, nothing does that, but it will take the edge off. Maybe there's something in theatres so you can get out of the house AND see something funny. Staying in the house is probably the worst thing you can do, even if it feels like you want it.

Exercising really does help, even if it seems almost impossible to start, but it has to be something you at least marginally enjoy doing. Go on a picturesque walk or dance to some music you like... whether or not you look good doing it.

Best of luck getting back to someplace more manageable in your depression.

xHelloQuincyx · March 2012

I’ve been battling depression since I was very young; unfortunately no medication ever “helped” me. (very very long story) i wanna just reach out and say that recently I had a panic attack streak that lasted from Feb 25 till about a week ago.. I couldn’t eat anything, I layed in bed and cried, and I skipped a week of college. I honestly thought if life was gonna be like this, I don’t want to be here. The dr’s “couldn’t find anything wrong with me”. I read up on some natural things you could do online and I started taking SAM-E. I just wanna say that I was smiling today. Actually smiling. And I’m tearing up now thinking about how nice it feels to be normal, and how everyone takes for granted little things. How my eyes used to glaze over when I ate dinner at the table, or how everyone complains about getting up early when I would love not to lay in bed till noon.. You should really check it out, totally not trying to just sell a product here. I honestly think it’s worth a shot. 14 dollars for a months’ worth, I bought mine at target in the supplement isle. be warned tho the box says to take 6 tablets a day (1200 mg) but i have been reading online review things and people report adverse side effects (sometimes) after 400. so im sticking to 1 pill a day. it has shown help in many other areas too like liver function, alzheimer's, osteoarthritis, and joint pain. (to name a few) i also read it was better to take it with a b vitamin. The b complex ones i have say "turns food into energy" and "promote healthy brain function" so to say the least, I’m feeling pretty great :] I wish you the best, keep your head up.

refinley2 · March 2012

For me, the depression comes in strong waves. Using my journal wasn't as helpful as I would have liked. So I went to walmart, bought 50 sheets of giant white construction paper, a set of craft brushes, and black acrylic paint. On days that felt emotionally overwhelming, I would bury myself in a good song and paint it out.

I don't paint. I can't paint.
The pictures look like black scribbles. But it feels so good.
Sharpies, chalk, ink, water colors, sponges, playdoh, finger paint. On days that feel like nothing will ever change and there's no point to move, I crawl out of bed and scribble.

mill1295 · March 2012

I read about a study where people who exercised were actually helped the same amount as other depressed patients who took medication, except those that exercised had longer lasting effects than those who took medication if they stopped. So hopefully that will help motivate.

Also, do you eat low fat products? Because a lack of fat (it's a nutrient) in your diet can lead to depression or make it worse! I've noticed a huge difference with myself now that I've started buying full fat products and started cooking with more EVOO!

editnonnalynn · March 2012

i am praying for all of you who suffer. I used to be very depressed. Once, in ?1992? there was a commercial for some drug or treatment center and it listed the symptoms of depression, such as insomnia, lack of interest, crying spells, not cleaning up, sleeping a lot, etc. One symptom was 'thoughts of suicide'. My NINE year old said (nonchalantly) "Mom, you have all of those but the suicide thoughts" Boy was she wrong about those thoughts! If I had had no children, I would have done it. There is hope, though. Really.

I will keep praying for y'all. I know it's like a prison you cannot get out of. But it is not YOU. You are wonderfully made and have done no worse than anyone else (for me I thought I was responsible for EVERYTHING), I never took meds and never got counselling, BUT if you need that-get that! I found deep people who showed me I am LOVED, and it took a long time. I continued to cut myself, threaten my husband with suicide, cry, and all those symptoms above, but they started to fall away as I changed my focus. I hope you find Hope!

Believe and be well, nonnalynn

angieleighbyrd · March 2012

My last antidepressant loaded on 50lbs in 3 months that I've been taking the last 3 years to get off. Nothing like 50lbs in 3 months to really add to a depressed person's self-issues.

Anyway, when I can't get myself out of bed, laughter's most important to me. Watch something you remember liking way back when, or spend some of the day looking at cat pictures or whatever you're into. No, it won't cure your depression-- in my experience of 12 years, nothing does that, but it will take the edge off. Maybe there's something in theatres so you can get out of the house AND see something funny. Staying in the house is probably the worst thing you can do, even if it feels like you want it.

Exercising really does help, even if it seems almost impossible to start, but it has to be something you at least marginally enjoy doing. Go on a picturesque walk or dance to some music you like... whether or not you look good doing it.

Best of luck getting back to someplace more manageable in your depression.

Laughter does help. I spend all day with my 8 month old. She is the goofiest 8 month old on the planet. She always brings a smile to my face even with tears in my eyes. Even today when she told me no at dinner, I couldn't help but giggle.

depression

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