I need people to weigh in with their thoughts, instead of po

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Replies

  • frosty73
    frosty73 Posts: 424 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss! I started mid-January as well, and have lost about the same amount as you. Until this week, nobody had noticed either. I started taking pics and measurements so I can see the changes--- it's really funny, because side by side,my pics look nearly identical--- but I am ever-so-slightly narrower in all the pics. No wonder nobody else can see my changes. Doesn't matter to me, I am in this for the long haul and want to be healthy down the road.

    AND I am so happy I started losing weight in January, as swimsuit season is coming up and I'm thrilled I'll be looking better in a suit!

    Keep your chin up and keep working it, it *will* be worth it, I promise!
  • nsdjogger
    nsdjogger Posts: 39
    22 lbs is fantastic! If you think back to the first day of your journey, I bet 1 lb seemed overwhelming to you. You're doing the right things and you'll keep progressing toward your goal. I'm rooting for you!!!!
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    I'm like you I hold my breath just hoping that someone notices all my hard work but they never do :sad: . A few yrs back I lost a bunch of weight went from 290ish down to 225 and no one but my husband and the people I told noticed. It was so bad that a neighbor of my in-laws noticed that I lost a bunch of weight and said something to my mother in-law who stated "Oh I didn't notice! She looks the same to me!" :frown: To add insult to injury my mother in-law proudly told me she didn't notice that I had lost weight. You can pick the person you marry but you can't pick your in-laws. :noway:

    That's AWFUL!! No wonder MIL's have a bad reputation.
  • 967_1111
    967_1111 Posts: 221 Member
    22 pounds lost is amazing! Your heart can tell, because it isn't working as hard to circulate your blood. Your legs and back can tell, because they have an easier time supporting you as you walk. Your liver can tell, as the build up of fatty tissue shrinks, and it can perform its job more efficiently.

    Keep up the good work, and don't sweat it that others don't notice yet. They will, and so will you!
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
    I've lost 33 lbs over 3 years and really, hardly anyone has noticed. But my clothes are looser, and occasionally someone will notice. But, for me, what happens is, I tend to lose inches all over, sort of evenly, so the weight loss is less apparent.

    Still I've looked at photos of myself from a few years ago and yes, I definitely look better. Good luck! Hang in there!
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    I'm sorry your friend felt it necessary to comment in a negative way...even if they thought they were being honest, that can still be hurtful, and frankly, unnecessary...

    Some of my friends and family noticed after about 15-20 pounds. My hair stylist, who I only see every few months, asked me after TEN pounds how much weight I'd lost. A co-worker did not notice until I'd lost about 35 pounds...It's all so variable depending on the people in your life...and in the end what matters is: are you happy with your progress so far? Do you feel healthier? Are you more active then you were 22 pounds ago? Are you making different choices for your health and fitness? Don't wait for someone else to validate your success! Take pictures, take measurements, try on different sizes of clothes, try new activities and new foods--do it for you!
  • pomme100
    pomme100 Posts: 5
    Congratulations. You should be very proud of your accomplishment. I agree with the other comments as well. It is difficult not to think about how others view you. We like to receive compliments from those who see us but try to focus on how you are feeling. Sometimes people bring others down because they don't feel good about themselves. It is too easy to give up exercising and healthy eating but if you feel better about yourself and can see an improvement, whether it is in the way you look, how your clothes fit, how far you can walk without needing a break, etc., that is what you need to focus on. I used to go to the gym a few years ago and found that doing weight training (free weights, machines, exercise ball) made the biggest difference - a rowing machine does wonders! Investing in the help of a personal trainer, even if for a few classes so you can get to know how to use the weights properly, is worth considering, too. Also, once you start to gain muscle, the number on the scale may not go down as much but you'll definitely see the difference as you tone your muscles and the lean muscle replaces the fat (muscle weighs more than fat - but makes the body look so much better). I began exercising in January but this time I am focusing on making it a healthy lifestyle change. I've lost 10 lbs (some weeks I may lose a pound or two or stay the same but I try not to gain, and if I do then I have to look at what I ate or switch up my exercise routine). I know when I begin the weights again, I will focus on how I've toned as opposed to how much I weigh. I've also found if I lose weight the right way (not too much too fast), I'm more likely to keep it off. Good luck and keep your chin up!!:flowerforyou:
  • nsdjogger
    nsdjogger Posts: 39
    I think it is better to not even tell people what you are doing, that puts more expectations on you than you need.

    I do the same thing. :smile:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Don't worry so much! Just keep plugging along.

    Remember that it will take time to show.

    I was an 18W in late 2010, and now I'm about a size 12/14. I still don't see it as much as I would like, but others have just now begun to notice. My weight has come off very very slowly which makes the changes less noticeable than if they had come off quickly also. This is a good thing, not a bad one.

    My weight didn't come off my midsection until recently, and I think this is why I haven't noticed it as much.

    Chin up hon. You're doing so so well. Do not give up on yourself :smile: You deserve to be healthy and happy.
  • itsgood
    itsgood Posts: 85 Member
    Congratulations on the loss, and keep up the good work. It takes effort and determination; lots of us get that and appreciate what you are doing.
    As for the lack of comments, I think some are threatened, some turn into themselves and wish they were doing the same, some are afraid to broach the subject for fear of offending. Some are just too selfish to praise others. I lost @ 80 pounds last year. The people I work with every day said NOTHING. I was half disgusted, half amused. I chose to stay quiet and keep at it. Finally one said, "How much have you lost? I mean, I knew you lost weight but wow!" It opened the door and now we talk openly. Interestingly, the group I eat lunch with ALWAYS checks out everything I eat. It helps me make good choices every day!
    Trust me and others when we say stick it out! Praise yourself!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    22 pounds in two months is an OUTSTANDING achievement. :drinker:

    But you know what? Your friends/family not seeing much of a difference is a really good thing. That means they love you and don't look at you as critically as you look at yourself. I've used this example before... My dad always had pitch black hair. One year for Christmas, one of my siblings bought him one of those joke baseball hats with a ponytail. The tail was grey. My first thought was, "That's not going to match Dad's hair!" But it did. Exactly. I never noticed my Dad going grey... because I loved him and didn't look at him critically. He was just... Dad.

    On the other hand, I noticed the very first grey hair I got. :grumble: And quickly yanked the sucker out.

    Plus, if you're wearing mostly the same clothes, it's really hard to tell the difference, and sometimes baggy, loose-fitting clothes can make us look bigger than something that's more fitted.
  • Hood25
    Hood25 Posts: 201 Member
    Sounds like some HATERS! Keep the pace and they will eventually have to acknowledge your weight loss :smile: We all want that acknowledgment but you have to have internal motivation and all will end well. Keep up the good work. Wish I could say I lost over 20 pounds since January :tongue:
  • Congrats on the weight loss so far. If you see a change in how your clothes fit, then it is noticable in that way if nothing else. Some body types take longer to show the loss than others. There are a few things that I have done recently to be able to see the difference....first, I have started taking measurements once a month (chest, waist, hips, thighs, calves, biceps, and forearms). The change one the scale along with the reduction in inches assure me that I am making progress. Second I take a picture in a similar pose and type of clothing once a month and compare it back to earlier pictures, this is where I see differences in my face more than anything else could show me. 22 pounds is incredible! Whatever you do, don't give up. If they really are not seeing the results yet, they will soon enough. Good luck with your continued journey. :flowerforyou:
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
    22 pounds in two months is an OUTSTANDING achievement. :drinker:

    But you know what? Your friends/family not seeing much of a difference is a really good thing. That means they love you and don't look at you as critically as you look at yourself. I've used this example before... My dad always had pitch black hair. One year for Christmas, one of my siblings bought him one of those joke baseball hats with a ponytail. The tail was grey. My first thought was, "That's not going to match Dad's hair!" But it did. Exactly. I never noticed my Dad going grey... because I loved him and didn't look at him critically. He was just... Dad.

    On the other hand, I noticed the very first grey hair I got. :grumble: And quickly yanked the sucker out.

    Plus, if you're wearing mostly the same clothes, it's really hard to tell the difference, and sometimes baggy, loose-fitting clothes can make us look bigger than something that's more fitted.

    :^) Love your story about your dad.
  • C00lCountry
    C00lCountry Posts: 282
    Nice job on the weight lose!

    Don't worry about that to much. You can tell the difference so that is a big plus. People don't always pay attention to others the way they should. Keep up the great work and they will pay attention later.

    Take some photos and compare yourself.
  • You all are amazing! Everything that everyone has said is exactly the pick-me-up I needed. I love the encouragement and the well-wishes!

    For those who have asked:

    * I'm 5'8"
    * I've lost 22 pounds doing a variety of things. A lot of it is resisting almost everything I loved to eat. I love food, it's amazing. Case closed.
    * I attend 3-4 Zumba classes a weekly and burn about 1150 calories per hour. Each class is an hour long. That one your KILLS, but every time I get to that moment in class when I think I just can't go on, I push myself harder and feel so accomplished at the end of class.
    * I drink (or try to) at least 144oz of water every day.
    * I complete my food diary and mark down every single bit of food I eat every day.
    * most days I eat really well, all 3 meals, one snack, and some nights I allow myself a dessert of rainbow sherbet or two cookies. I cheat at least once a week. I fully believe that if I restrict my diet to only health food, I will never stick to it. So far, splurging on a small portion of a guilty pleasure food like mashed potatoes or mac and cheese hasn't hurt a thing. For example, this week my mom made her homemade mac and cheese. I ate a small bowl full (about a 1cup serving) with a salad and a big serving of water. I got the yummy goodness without the actual guilt.

    That's about all I really do. It hasn't been easy considering I live in a house where splurging okay decadence is a daily occurrence. But I force myself to make the right choices when it comes to food. Zumba is a passion and I wil always promote it as excellent weight loss.

    Once again, you all are amazing! Thank you for all of the votes of confidence! Lots of love :)
  • Sadly when you are obese, or morbidly obese (heh don't hate I'm right there too) that it takes a lot to notice because even at 50 lbs less you're still a 'big' person. To hell with everyone else, if you are doing this for you and you can feel the difference than that's all that matters. I went from 360+ to 266 lbs in 2006 and was down to a size 24 jeans and I didn't notice a difference until I went back to college and went cloths shopping. It takes time and don't be discouraged. It didn't happen over night so you're not going to loose it over night, celebrate the little victories and don't listen to what anyone else is telling you.
  • mczarnowski
    mczarnowski Posts: 4 Member
    keep in mind that getting healthy is a constant battle, but 22 pounds is absolutely great! My mother in law passed away in January and I packed on 7 pounds in 4 weeks just stress eating. I've lost 3 pounds since I started watching the scale again and I'm proud of that. I have friends that don't like when i watch my eating so I don't tell them anymore and just say I'm in the mood for this.

    My weight lose battle goes like this... I was a size 18 (i'm only 5'3") 7 years ago, got laid off, worked with a personal trainer and really when on a strict diet went down to a size 10 (it took over a year), then found a job didn't spend as much time exercising and didn't watch what I ate and shot back to a size 16. For the last year i've gotten down to a tight 14. My realistic goal is to be in a size 12. I'm moving slowly, but just keep finding ways to stay motivated. My new toy for my 3 pound loss is a fitbit. It has really sparked my walking more.

    Remember anyone that struggles with weight is proud of you!! All that matters is your goal and that you are moving towards it, not how fast you are moving towards it.
  • NamsdnaL
    NamsdnaL Posts: 102 Member
    Remember anyone that struggles with weight is proud of you!! All that matters is your goal and that you are moving towards it, not how fast you are moving towards it.

    Amen to that!
    Just remember we all have your back. :flowerforyou:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
    I don't feel like I'm completely discouraged, but I could definitely use some words of encouragement or at least some opinions.

    I need to lose 72 more pounds before I reach my first GW. Since January 15, 2012, I've lost 22 pounds even. On most people you would see that difference. On me...I don't really see it. I do feel it in my clothes, however. A friend of mine, who only sees me every few weeks, said that I really don't look any different than I did at Christmas. That felt great to hear after all the work I'm putting in :/ In the back on my mind, I was reminded of 2007, when I visited relatives who saw me after I lost 50 pounds. They picked me up from the airport and mentioned how they didn't think they would recognize me after losing 50 pounds, but that I looked just the same.

    So here's what I need an opinion/words of encouragement: I already know that depending on where you carry your weight it's going to vary about which part of your body slims down the most and how it will be dispersed. I guess I just feel frustrated that I can't see any difference yet and I feel like I should. Do I need to wait until I hit 50 pounds? 75 pounds?

    Please share your thoughts!
    Depends you how overweight you are. If you're over 100lbs overweight, 20lbs would only show a small difference.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • fluffysexyme
    fluffysexyme Posts: 104 Member
    Who cares! You know you're doing the work and eventually it will show. Start taking weekly pictures of yourself because you may not actually be seeing it but I'm sure you're losing the inches too. Don't quit doing great because others can't see it. You are getting healthier and that is what matters now. The rest will follow along shortly. I was hopeful this weekend that my in-laws would notice my weight loss because I can tell. It's not significant by any means, but I thought... Maybe. Finally, my sister-in-law asked me if I had lost weight and told me should could tell but only because my pants looked baggy in the booty area :/ Whatever! lol I took that as I don't look different, but my clothes do... Then I realized that if my clothes look different, then I must look different under it all so :P Hang in there!
  • librarygoddess2
    librarygoddess2 Posts: 145 Member
    Well first off I'd like to say you're gorgeous. You are very pretty and you should know that. Second I can't believe your friends and family would be so insensitive. We all need to hear that people see the progress. It keeps us going when people say wow you look great. Please keep going because you're doing this for you. Your life and your story is unwritten. You are in charge of how it ends.

    Secondly, 22lb since January. WOW! I've done 30 since November and I thought I was doing good. So you're shedding them like crazy. One thing I also noticed is that when I wear the clothing that I needed at my top weight I still look frumpy and it's hard to see. Since we can't buy new clothing every two months that baggy clothing will make it so we can't see our progress. If you feel it in your cloths then that's fantastic.

    Finally, If you'd like to be friends I'd love to be the one that gets to encourage you! It's best to find people that are on the same journey as you that can encourage you. People close to you and people online if needed. If people are being discouraging to you, as hard as it is, sometimes we need to distance ourselves from them and find people that will show us the support that we need.

    Hugs, keep your chin up.
  • Robbie32
    Robbie32 Posts: 65 Member
    22lbs is awsome! If you don't think so put 22lbs of weights in backpack and carry it around for a day and ask again.

    This. Perfect way to know how far you've come and that you can't afford to turn back. We start for the weight and then we see that it's about us and being healthy. What you've accomplished is beyond difficult and beyond awsome!!! Don't worry, we'll all be able to see your FINESS soon, just be FINE, SEXY, HEALTHY inside for now, that's the most you can ask of yourself and because of what your doing, thats EXACTLY who you are!
  • spottedlee
    spottedlee Posts: 372
    I think it varies,,, someone asked me about 2 months ago, wondering if I was ill because she noticed that my face was getting thinner,, I proudly told her NOPE

    A month ago,,, someone else said,, OMGOSH,, I can tell that your pant is too big! you look great...

    Mind you, I lost 35 pounds so far, but still,, it's noticable to some and not to others,,, BTW,, I am currently at 247.6, 5 foot 9...

    Lee
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    This isn't my first time losing a lot of weight (sadly). I know the first time, no one said one word for the first 40 pounds. After that the flood gates opened and I couldn't leave my desk at work without getting the third degree about my weight loss. Your time will come. Being tall (and I'm 4" taller than you!), 20 pounds doesn't show like it would on a shorter person, but it's just as hard to lose - so all of the work, but not as much to show for it. The flip side is, it doesn't show as readily when you gain it either. Bottom line, be proud of your accomplishment! Give it another 20 or so pounds and you'll wonder why everyone won't stop talking about you!
  • sweet110
    sweet110 Posts: 332 Member
    The best words of encouragement I can give is that *WE'VE ALL* been there. We may not all have this particular problem, but we have *all* had something similarly discouraging: the plateau that never ends, the spouse who loses twice as much while trying half as hard, the in-law who says [insert something hateful], the unexpected and unexplained weight gain...

    You're not alone.

    But success comes from focusing on the process. Staying with the everyday. When we can do this, we *CAN ALL* experience success, despite the hurdles we have to overcome.

    Practical advice: focus on mini-goals. When I had over half my body weight to lose, I fretted and worried and weighed because it seemed *interminable*. So, I started with mini-goals. Not just for weight, but for exercise, for nutritional goals, for having clothes "fit better" even though I was the same size. Essentially, I redefined success so that I could find milestones to celebrate. And I blogged about it. (It was a private blog. No one but me could read it) So that I could go back and read over my past successes. It sounds hokey, but being able to read a description of *exactly* where you were a year ago can really be motivating when you're feeling down. For example, there was a time when I wrote about being unable to do 1 pushup. I had forgotten what *that felt* like. To read about it in my own words helped me to see how far I'd come.
  • jadedone
    jadedone Posts: 2,446 Member
    Take pictures!!!

    I was feeling the same way (I've lost 27). And I randomly took a pic today, and I have one from 20 pounds ago and I noticed a difference. Even if no one else does.

    And don't forget to measure!
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