I am that mom.....

icupfunny2000
icupfunny2000 Posts: 470 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
I can imagine that we have all been shopping at one point or another, and come across the family with the screaming child. We may whisper, sigh loudly, or even be as bold to comment loudly on THAT MOM's parenting skills.
Well, I am THAT MOM. I am going to ask you to perhaps step outside your little bubble and consider that perhaps THAT MOM , and god forbid, THAT CHILD are as miserable in that situation, if not more unhappy, than you are.
You see what you want to see, a spoiled child who is demanding something that they can't have.
I see a child with a DISABILITY who is having a very difficult time processing all of the information being thrown his way, by a world he may not understand, and often times doesn't like.
I see a child with a sensory processing disorder which makes even the simplest thing like a trip to the mall overwhelming, and terrifying.
I see a child who just can't handle any more of that day, who is fighting to regain control of a situation that he has no control over.
he sees, feels and hears.....
- the lights are bright and hurt his eyes
- the lights make a humming noise that is almost unbearable
- the wheels on the cart are making a squealing noise that is deafening
- people keep invading his personal space ( would you walk up to a strange adult, rub his head, and tell him how cute he is?)
- his hands are dirty, and all he can think about is getting them clean
- he is frightened by all of the people, and once again they won't leave him alone
- he just wants to be someplace where he feels safe and secure, and he needs to get there fast
So the next time you see US out, reconsider the situation, and maybe ask YOURSELF if you helped or hurt the situation.

This goes out to all the moms of disabled childern.... written by a friend of mine, and it greatly relates to my life and my disabled child.
j~

Replies

  • icupfunny2000
    icupfunny2000 Posts: 470 Member
    I can imagine that we have all been shopping at one point or another, and come across the family with the screaming child. We may whisper, sigh loudly, or even be as bold to comment loudly on THAT MOM's parenting skills.
    Well, I am THAT MOM. I am going to ask you to perhaps step outside your little bubble and consider that perhaps THAT MOM , and god forbid, THAT CHILD are as miserable in that situation, if not more unhappy, than you are.
    You see what you want to see, a spoiled child who is demanding something that they can't have.
    I see a child with a DISABILITY who is having a very difficult time processing all of the information being thrown his way, by a world he may not understand, and often times doesn't like.
    I see a child with a sensory processing disorder which makes even the simplest thing like a trip to the mall overwhelming, and terrifying.
    I see a child who just can't handle any more of that day, who is fighting to regain control of a situation that he has no control over.
    he sees, feels and hears.....
    - the lights are bright and hurt his eyes
    - the lights make a humming noise that is almost unbearable
    - the wheels on the cart are making a squealing noise that is deafening
    - people keep invading his personal space ( would you walk up to a strange adult, rub his head, and tell him how cute he is?)
    - his hands are dirty, and all he can think about is getting them clean
    - he is frightened by all of the people, and once again they won't leave him alone
    - he just wants to be someplace where he feels safe and secure, and he needs to get there fast
    So the next time you see US out, reconsider the situation, and maybe ask YOURSELF if you helped or hurt the situation.

    This goes out to all the moms of disabled childern.... written by a friend of mine, and it greatly relates to my life and my disabled child.
    j~
  • MontanaGirl
    MontanaGirl Posts: 1,251 Member
    I have great empathy for you in your parenting struggle!! But even a child without a disability who is having a melt down doesn't always reflect on the ability of her parents. Just because a child is having a melt down doesn't automatically mean bad parents or even spoiled child!! My daughter, who is very strong willed, has had meltdowns - still at 12 1/2 just a different kind now :smile: - but I am not/was not a bad parent and she was not a spoiled kid. When tired or hungry or just plain overstimulated it's hard for little ones to process and cope with life. We all need to have a little more compassion and a little less judgmentalism in these kind of situations :flowerforyou:
  • bjigglepants
    bjigglepants Posts: 93
    very well put on both posts. i'm the mother of an autistic child and two non autistic children. i figure if anyone has a problem with my child at the store, it's just that...THEIR problem. i could give a flip what complete strangers think of me or my parenting skills, i'll never see them again....if i'm lucky :bigsmile:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Very well put on all posts. My kids are grown and on their own now but I can remember the public meltdowns. I can sympathize when parents are in that situation. It wasn't that long ago (a now 21 year old and a now 33 year old) :smile: when I was in that situation.
  • kriegerfamily
    kriegerfamily Posts: 19
    I am a mom of a strong willed two year old. His father has turettes syndrome and we are not sure if it has passed on to him yet. I don't want to punish him for things he can't control. I try to calm him down with out giving in, sometimes this takes along time. I do feel bad for people around me but I also know if I hear there comments so does my son. Then I think my son is a child and does not know better but the adult that says these things should know better and has no excuse.
  • natashav
    natashav Posts: 108 Member
    AMEN SISTER
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