Maintaining weight problems or Don't hate me because I'm mai

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brianblinn
brianblinn Posts: 70 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok, this might annoy some people but after using MFP for almost a year I reached my weight goal. (yay me!) I've gotten used to exercising more (my dog LOVES all the extra walks) because I actually have more energy, I barely eat red meat & I don't really miss it. I especially don't miss having to take cholestrol meds for the past 4 years. I enjoy salads :noway: I took this silly app & made it a lifestyle.

I never had a weight problem growing up. Let me rephrase that, I never had an excessive weight problem. You see :embarassed: I was one of the annoying people who ate EVERYTHING & stayed the samed weight. I literally graduated high school 5'7" 98 pounds. When I joined the USAF (Desert Storm Medic Vet - if you can read this thank a teacher, if you can read this in english...) I actually was ordered onto a mandatory weight GAIN diet or risk being kicked out. Stop rolling your eyes.:laugh: Do you know how hard it was to be that active & gain weight? I don't like the muscle look, not my style but I wanted to look heathy. I finally achieved my goal & spent the next several years traveling the world.

As I got older my age/metabolism finally slowed down... with me slowing down too. Or I just got lazy. LOL! Happily married I never noticed my weight until clothes kept, ahem, shrinking in the wash. I tried cutting back on sweets. (Never met a brownie I didn't like & who doesn't like pudding??!?!) I tried exercising but sadly the military years kind of killed my back & joints. I found MFP & it just clicked for me. It wasn't counting calories that worked for me but just being AWARE of the amount of calories in everything. (280 calories just in a Snickers?!?!) Well, I started literally watching what I ate, choosing more filling food with less calories. Oddly this helped lower my BP, cholestrol (no more dang meds) & waist size. :bigsmile:

Here's the rub. I'm now fighting to keep weight on. I've changed my setting to maintaining weight on MFP but when I eat just my allotted calories without eating my exercise calories I still lose weight. I've tried eating all my calories but I'm just not that hungry anymore. I've increased my setting but unless I eat like 2,600 calories a day I lose weight. My wife uses MFP too & has lost over 61 pounds & she wants to lose like 25 more. I'm so proud of her.

I have two problems. How do I encourage her to keep losing weight (we used to be there for each other) while I'm 'complaining' of losing too much weight? I'm not trying to brag but just vent at my current problem WHILE still supporting her? Here I am *****ing about having to eat another 600 calories for the day while she's trying to count out crackers without going over her allotted?? :sad:

I'm sorry if my concerns are silly but it bother me to not be there for my wife (read as SOULMATE) the same way while trying to maintain my own weight without appearing like I'm throwing my "success' in her face.

Replies

  • soccermom004
    soccermom004 Posts: 444 Member
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    First off, don't vent to your wife about not being able to keep weight on. Continue to support her on the good choices she makes and vent about your problems on here. Keep in mind it is mucheasier for men to lose weight in the first place. For the other problem, try choosing nutrient and high calorie foods, nuts, avacodo, add protein powders. Beleive it or not I understand your problem as my wieght has actually dipped below my desired goal too and my husband is trying to lose weight and start exercising.
  • brianblinn
    brianblinn Posts: 70 Member
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    Venting may be the wrong word. I still talk to her about my weight goals/plans & encourage her as I always have. She's my best friend so we talk about everything. I just don't want her to feel bad because I already reached my goal. We both know men lose weight easier (sorry about that, women) & she says she's glad I'm finally maintaining. When she asks me what my weight is I do have to tell her as she tells me hers. She supports me well & I just want to continue to support her WITHOUT making her feel bad.

    I don't like adding powders to my food. I am trying to eat more natually (brownies still grow on trees, right?) so I'm looking into I guess heavier food... no pun intended? I do eat a lot of fruits & yogurt now. They never mention the 'cleansing" greek yogurt does to you when you eat it regularly.
  • tokes
    tokes Posts: 22
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    Hey Brian - at various times during our relationship my husband and i have had v diff weight goals. Usually me trying to lose and him working out like a demon and trying to gain muscle mass. I have never felt jealous or upset with him because his goals are just so different to mine - if you speak to you wife and perhaps even work out a code language to help each other keep track of how you are doing with out her having to hear "darn I've lost another 4lbs" when she has just gained 2lb! something like "how was your week" answer with "good" or "a struggle but getting there" dont actually mention numbers because you will drive each other crazy that way. In terms of you gaining and maintaining in a healthy way if eating min 2500 cals a day and moderate/light exercise is'nt working for you and you don't want to take protein shakes etc then I would recommend that you visit nutritionist to help you work out the best way to gain and keep healthy
  • tarablinn2007
    tarablinn2007 Posts: 3 Member
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    I do not feel bad, upset, or depressed by your ability of being able to eat more than 1200 in a day... (Maybe a little envious, but what gal wouldn't love to be able to sit down and eat an entire cake and still be within her goal lines?) I show concern as to the loss past what your goal was because I know that it is not healthy and that it concerns you as well. NEVER think for one moment that I am angry at your weight loss! I am very proud of you and the fact that you lost the weight that you needed/wanted. My only problem comes when you say you won't eat until I do. If you're hungry, you need to eat! I may not be hungry for another 2 hours but I feel compelled to eat when you are hungry because you make me feel guilty otherwise. So, eat what you need to eat to stay at your weight. My hunger differs from yours at times and needs to be taken into consideration. I appreciate the gallant effort to eat with me but honestly, it is not needed. I love you!

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