Eating separately...
kittyinaz
Posts: 300 Member
So my boyfriend and I are having major food disagreements. He says he absolutely cannot eat the same thing more than once in a month. I think it's a little ridiculous. I am trying to cut down our food bill, and I was hoping that planning our meals would help that, but he refuses to let me plan them because he says it will be too monotonous. I wanted to buy meals with similar ingredients so we would waste less and buy less. I feel that buying ingredients for a different meal each night will SKY ROCKET the food bill.
I don't know what to do. I told him I suppose I'll have to start eating completely separately from him AGAIN. (I did this for a month about a year ago). I hate doing that since dinner is the only time we get to spend together each night before bed.
Do any of you have any suggestions on how to meet in the middle?
I don't know what to do. I told him I suppose I'll have to start eating completely separately from him AGAIN. (I did this for a month about a year ago). I hate doing that since dinner is the only time we get to spend together each night before bed.
Do any of you have any suggestions on how to meet in the middle?
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Replies
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Request he do all the prep & cooking then. That will surely shut him up!!!...LOL. No seriously, try shopping/cooking together~ this way you have quality time together and are able to make decisions together. Good luck!0
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not really an arguement ... then tell your boyfriend to do the cooking0
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I don't know IMO he is being ridiculous.
I suggest you enforce your threat. Let him deal with his own food--cook for yourself, hopefully he'll realize he does't like that set up. That will probably skyrocket the food bill for a while too, but if he realizes he is being unreasonable then maybe he will bend? Another idea is keeping precise track of all the money spent on food (if you don't already) so you can show him how ridiculous the bill is?
Also though before going through with that, you can tell him you will work on getting in a rotation where dinners do not get repeated during the month (very often) BUT that its going to take time for you to learn the recipes you need and how to buy ingredients in a budget friendly manner and that you would appreciate it if he would compromise so that you can manage a budge that will benefit you BOTH in the long term.
Honestly he should be thrilled that you are willing to do the hard work that meal planning in a budget friendly manner takes! Planning meals, shopping for meals, looking for sales, and THEN cooking the meals, possibly preserving meals takes up so MUCH time. He should be grateful!0 -
It sounds like he's behaving like a spoiled child. When I was a kid my mother always gave us 2 choices for dinner......take it or leave it.
If he's so picky I'd say he should do at least half of the cooking, see what kind of menu he comes up with! (and yes, I do most of the cooking in our house)0 -
tell him you'll try it out for 2 weeks and then you guys sit down and re-visit it.
I do plan our meals weekly. It DOES save money on the shopping list. I don't plan all our meals, but I plan the kids' school lunches and our dinners.
Meals that are made with the same ingredients do not necessarily taste the same. At all. So make a list of meals you want to make, make sure they are not too similar and plan for one week and see how he feels after realising same ingredients does not = same taste or even texture.
I often buy vegetables in bigger packs and use them as a side one day, mixed up in soup the next, or - in our case - as the main dish a lot of times. But broccoli doesn't taste the same if its a side dish on its own to when it's made into a tasty soup or mixed with goats cheese in a puff pastry sheet or crumbled into a nice quiche with peppers and feta cheese. He needs to realise that and the only way is to plan it, cook it and get his eyes opened!
Oh, and go thank his Mum for spoiling him like that lol
edit: sorry, bit winded there, hope it makes sense, shouldn't reply after half a bottle of prosecco lol0 -
Oh he'll do plenty of cooking, but it won't be anything healthy. If he cooks, it's butter and cheese loaded and absolutely delicious with huge portions.... but not healthy.
He told me that what I want to do is making us have a "Taco Bell Kitchen" where you have all the same basic ingredients but arrange them differently and they all taste the same anyway.
Thanks for the suggestions, guys. I really think I will just start eating separately from him again. That way I can control my food budget and he can waste his spending $20 each day at the grocery store for something "new and exciting".0 -
The way i'm reading this, it appears the food preparation responsibility is yours? If so, that is a shocking statement for him to make. I would definitely suggest preparing your food separately. You can still sit down and eat together - and even shop together. It's one thing to share the household responsibilities and have your jobs include food planning and prep, it's a whole different ballgame for him to make such outrageous demands!! I cook for myself all the time but would really struggle to come up with 30 different meals a month!0
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I'm with others here... let him do the planning and cooking...see how long that will last...that should help to change his thinking!0
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in relationships you pick your battles ... this is an easy one ... if you cook and he doesnt want it ... ahhh ... i guess he'll starve0
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What if you alternated nights to cook? or try cooking/shopping together. My hubby is super skinny, he has a very physically demanding job. I tend to make chicken and hamburger and I have the same set of recipes that I cook from too. I try to rotate them and make special meals every once and a while. The best part is, he makes completely different meals than me which helps the variety. so you don't have to make him do ALL the cooking but he needs to meet you half way.0
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keep a journal of how much it costs for your meal plan versus his meals, see how it looks on paper and show him. I also agree with him doing his cooking. If you both have outside responsibilties he should share in the work at home. But that works at my house, it is easier than him doing ALL his own chores lol0
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My Nana used to hit my Papa over the head with a frying pan when he was being a pain in the @ss. Probably can't get away with that today though......
Lol0 -
We used a four week rotating menu. there were repeats, but only of the meals we really liked, like spaghetti and meat sauce or bar-b q chicken. I also had next week's shopping list on this week's menu, so I could see what we needed, or what we had already.
this way, we had a great variety, but because we planned ahead, did not waste food. we also made use of our freezer, cook 2 meals, freeze one. properly packaged, it would last until the next month so your BF wouldn't complain.
My brother in law sounds exactly like that. my sis in law makes great food, he grunts and complains, eats it or doesn't, and either way goes out after supper and buys another meal like mc d's or subway, or pigs out on junk. no bloody wonder he is pushing 300 pounds with a short stick.0 -
I suggest you guys have an experiment....
Each of you shop for yourselves and cook for yourselves for one month.
At the end of the month compare how much each of you both spent, what the portion sizes were, and what the meals consisted of ( ie: variation). See if you can both come to a compromise. He shops and cooks for two weeks and you do the rest? Maybe.0 -
Without seeing your plan, I don't know who to side with. I, personally, will almost never have the same dinner within a months time. I also do not plan the same style of meal (aka Italian, Mexican, Indian, or American) or type of meal (aka Roast, Casserole, Soup, or Stew) more then twice a week. I also try to keep the same type of meat down to 2-3 times a week. So, I do understand how someone could not enjoy having too many repeats.
That said, I do all the cooking because I got sick and tired of having the same thing week after week.0 -
Times like this I'm so glad that I'm single.....0
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If you guys are living and paying bills together, come up with a food budget first and then figure out meals around it. We budget and I meal plan, but we're not eating the same thing every night (or every week).
One thing that helped me was to write down on notecards, or wherever really, all the dinners you like. See how many you guys can come up with. Then take out 7 a week, and try to come up with a combo of meals that will be varied and fit within your budget.0 -
First of all, if he's your boyfriend and you plan on spending the rest of your life with him, I would hope that he would be more flexible about the food YOU are cooking for him. To not want to eat the same thing more than once a month is his choice, not your's.
You've done a good job getting in shape and it would be terrible if you allow him to dictate to you what he will eat. I understand you're on a budget and you're probably worried about how much he will spend if he has to fend for himself. My advice, is to take a long hard look at your situation and decide if you really want to go through this for a lifetime.0 -
This would really upset me if I were in your shoes, it would kinda be a take it or leave it deal. If he doesn't want you to plan meals tell him he can cook(and pay for himself) for both of you. The catch being give him a list of things he can NOT use and won't have in your home with the healthy sub he can use. Maybe even go as far as giving him a calorie limit for the meal cuz this is a lifestyle change you would like him to be a part of. I hope it works out for you.0
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Haha I'd have a little experiment...
Eat separately for a while - but make a pact to keep your food receipts.
Then at the end of the month tell him you want the difference to go and buy yourself something nice. Hopefully then he'll see how much money he's needlessly wasting on groceries, and could buy other things instead.
But, as others have said long term I'd be of the 'take it or leave it' camp. It's just not feasible, not to mention exhausting and expensive to come up with a literally different meal idea for every day of the month. Herbs and spices are cheap and make the world of difference to basic ingredients - trust me, I'm a student so I HAVE to get creative on the cheap otherwise I'd literally go insane.
Also sure butter and cheese and cream make things taste nice... but they're very heavy and not to mention calorific. Granted, we all need fats but surely HIS tastebuds get bored with tasting things like that all of the time. Maybe reassure him that you're not going to make him eat salad every night...
Alternatively you could let him do the shopping/cooking for a month (and keep the receipts) and then you do the shopping/cooking for a month (also keep receipts) - see how that works out..0 -
^the experiment idea for a week or 2 and make note of what he eats so there is no cheating. if you do it let us know how it works out0
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Trust me i know what your going through. Trying to make everyone happy with dinner is a challenge.
Please try this!
http://www.thesneakychef.com/free_recipe_doctors_choice_chili.php0 -
You just buy your own food and cook for yourself, he'll soon realise he's being silly
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Cook double what u need and freeze the left overs, that way you are saving in the long run. Time and money. 0
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My Nana used to hit my Papa over the head with a frying pan when he was being a pain in the @ss. Probably can't get away with that today though......
Lol at this0 -
Errrmmmmm....ridiculous. He is behaving like a spoilt child in my opinion. If you are doing the cooking, I think he should just eat what he is given. To be honest, it will be make him healthier too. If he really won't budge, eat separately. The only problem with this is ....you can't just change your diet for a while, you need to make a lifestyle change, so eating separately would have to go on forever, do you want that? Maybe you could add some new recipes to the repertoire? Ask him what sort of thing he would like and try to do a health version or alternative?0
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I'm amazed that anyone could vary their meals so much. I eat virtually the same thing every day, certainly every week there are repeats. Obviously i have no imagination.0
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Real Simple has cooking ideas for the whole month.....on the other hand....have him involved in planning the menu....not eating the same thing more than once in a month....crazy....what about a grilled cheese sandwich? Or grilled chicken and a salad? If you are on MFP you obviously want to watch what you eat and eat healthy. So there will be meals that 'repeat'. Good luck!0
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I do all the cooking in the house and I make separate meals for us every night. It took some practice both shopping and juggling all that food at once, but it's worked out great. There are a couple of meals that we can both eat, but for the most part, his diet is loaded with creamy sauces and salty meats. Bleah.
It was the best way to deal with it. Fortunately, however, he is good about eating what I make, if he complained that it was too monotonous and demanded that I make him something new every day, I'd tell him to shove it.0
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