Am I that weird?

jules1984 · July 2009

Post after post I see people really happy when people notice their success.

I've lost about 24 lbs over the last year or so and I HATE people commenting on it!! I wouldn't mind compliments like "You look really good lately," or someone telling me in private but that's never the case. People always comment on "WOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU'VE LOST" right in front of other people - many of whom never knew me chubby. Their tone of voice suggests amazement and almost disgust at my previous figure...

My boyfriend of almost four months is around a lot lately. This means that he's been with me as I run into more and more of my old acquaintances. They ALWAYS comment on my weight loss. I'm comfortable in my own skin at this weight, I wasn't at that one. He's an amazing guy but I always wonder if he's thinking, "Hrmm, she said she's been working to get healthy and get off 'college' pounds but how fat was she really?"

:frown: :mad: :explode:

SOBAY311 · July 2009

I think you should just be thankful and smile, because people are just trying to pay you a compliment.

StVal · July 2009

I don't think you're weird at all. I'm sure that once I'm down to my goal weight, I'd like to forget that I was heavier, also. And having people keep reminding you, doesn't help the matter. But maybe you should talk to him about it. Let him know that you've dropped X amount of lbs, but did it in a healthy way, so you can continue to stay healthy and keep the lbs off. Perhaps, maybe even show him a photo of you from before, so he can see the difference for himself and he'll probably be very proud of you for reaching an important goal of yours and it might just bring the 2 of you closer. Besides, you said he's a great guy, I wouldn't think that seeing you "before" wouldn't do any harm, but on the other hand, it'll just let his mind lay at rest and stop wandering about this weight you've lost. Besides you look great, gloat in it a little. You deserve it for the hard work you've put into losing the lbs.

mrsyac2 · July 2009

This reminds me of when I was at the gym a couple of months ago and ran into a friends husband in the gym (at my gym you have to swipe in when you enter and there was a line) so I was standing there and he (who is very loud) goes HEY GIRL HOW ARE YOU WOW YOU LOST ALOT OF WEIGHT- i said thanks and i am good- HE GOES WOW YOU LOOK GREAT YOU ARE SO SMALL NOW- mind you now people are looking around at me like I from biggest loser or something I just laughed because it was funny.

I get compliments all the time. it doesn't bother me one bit and you shouldn't mind them either.

We had a friend over one day and we were just talking and shooting the breeze and he busts out with How much weight have you lost? (he doesn't see me in street clothes too much cause I am always in scrubs which don't show results) I said total or since I got real intense and strict in January- He said total I said alot he said I can tell--

I am glad others can see my progress cause to be honest I can't-
I can see the difference from when I was huge to now but don't see my progress from Jan-July so peoples compliments let me know I am still progressing

jules1984 · July 2009

I'm just a really private person. If anything he's probably reacting to the embarrassed look on my face. I've told him as much as I wanted him to know. I gained weight when I quit ADD meds in highschool, then more in college, then more at my desk job and I'm working out more and eating healthier to get back to my athletic self.

If someone gets plastic surgery do you think they want everyone yelling, "Wow, god you got a new nose! It looks great your old one was SO ugly!" in front of their new acquaintances?

I just don't consider "WOW you've lost weight!" - in front of others - a compliment. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or prudish.

mskellyw · July 2009

I'm the same way. In my mind "Wow, you look great!" is a compliment. "Wow, how much weight have you lost?!" is not. It feels the same as "Wow, you used to be really fat!"

Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

SOBAY311 · July 2009

I'm just a really private person. If anything he's probably reacting to the embarrassed look on my face. I've told him as much as I wanted him to know. I gained weight when I quit ADD meds in highschool, then more in college, then more at my desk job and I'm working out more and eating healthier to get back to my athletic self.

If someone gets plastic surgery do you think they want everyone yelling, "Wow, god you got a new nose! It looks great your old one was SO ugly!" in front of their new acquaintances?

I just don't consider "WOW you've lost weight!" - in front of others - a compliment. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or prudish.

LOL @ your plastic surgery example! :laugh:

I do see your point, and it does make sense to me. :flowerforyou:

jules1984 · July 2009

I'm just a really private person. If anything he's probably reacting to the embarrassed look on my face. I've told him as much as I wanted him to know. I gained weight when I quit ADD meds in highschool, then more in college, then more at my desk job and I'm working out more and eating healthier to get back to my athletic self.

If someone gets plastic surgery do you think they want everyone yelling, "Wow, god you got a new nose! It looks great your old one was SO ugly!" in front of their new acquaintances?

I just don't consider "WOW you've lost weight!" - in front of others - a compliment. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or prudish.

LOL @ your plastic surgery example! :laugh:

I do see your point, and it does make sense to me. :flowerforyou:

:flowerforyou: Sorry sometimes I vent here about things I don't have anyone else to vent to about.

mrsyac2 · July 2009

I'm just a really private person. If anything he's probably reacting to the embarrassed look on my face. I've told him as much as I wanted him to know. I gained weight when I quit ADD meds in highschool, then more in college, then more at my desk job and I'm working out more and eating healthier to get back to my athletic self.

If someone gets plastic surgery do you think they want everyone yelling, "Wow, god you got a new nose! It looks great your old one was SO ugly!" in front of their new acquaintances?

I just don't consider "WOW you've lost weight!" - in front of others - a compliment. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or prudish.

I guess it depends on the type of person you are- It takes a lot to offend me. Plus I open about saying I turned into a chunky buns for awhile.

Just because people recognize your weight loss doesn't mean that they think the old you was horrible (not always)

injuneer81 · July 2009

next time tell them "its because of the Chemo I have been on". That will teach them a lesson

kimber607 · July 2009

Hey

I don't think you're weird....unless I am too

I hate compliments, and for me..loosing weight was about me, for me and I know I've lost weight and have gone down in size
I lost about 25 pounds and I could care less about compliments...for whatever reason they make me uncomfy
I just say thanks and change the subject

KatWood · July 2009

I can definitely relate.

I think sometimes it depends on the compliment.
"You look great" is a nice compliment and doesn't really bother me.
But " Wow you have lost a lot of weight" or "You are like half the size you use to be" sometimes hurt because they remind me of how big and unhealthy I was, and that people did in fact notice I was overweight.

For me perhaps what is the hardest is when people ask how much I have lost. Part of me is proud to have lost 75lbs, the other part of me is ashamed I ever needed to in the first place.:frown:

However, I try and keep in mind that all the compliments are well intentioned and that I have really come a long way. We really shouldn't focus on the past and if anything we should realize that this journey has not only shaped who we are but also is a source of inspiration for others.:flowerforyou:

CasperO · July 2009

We see a lot of posts about "I've lost XX pounds - Why hasn't anybody noticed or said anything?".

Well,,, this is the reason. Lots of people DO understand. "How much have you lost?" is really just another way of saying "How fat were you?", and it just cuts. In a one-one situation I MIGHT ask a friend I know well how much they've lost,,, but I'd never do it in front of other people.

I've had a lot of people ask me, and I don't mind. I'm a very extroverted person and I love to talk about myself, so I'm cool with it. But I do understand that lots'a people ain't.

Am I that weird?

Replies

Categories