Yo Yo Dieters - Help

Justacoffeenut
Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
edited November 12 in Health and Weight Loss
Never fails I do great then fall off the wagon. I was down 18lbs at one point gained back 22. I say I have no support cause I don't really in my household. Maybe I just don't have the will power. I have the motivation, believe me I do. Anyone else out there like this? How did you overcome? How did you fight the cravings? Lack of support? And get support from those close to you that really effect you the most?
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Replies

  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    Guess I am all alone in this. If there is another topic like this problem PLEASE direct me to it. I REALLY need some help and support.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    You are in control of what goes in your mouth. If you don't believe this, there is not much we can say.

    It is up to you . All of it. No one else. Only you.

    That is all.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    This is true to a point. Yet what do you do when you have a small food budget and only one wants to eat right. Cant buy what you don't have the money for when everyone else has spent it already. I have to make due with what i have. So guess the really question is how do you get others on board?

    At my smallest I was a size 0-2 (dang hips). This was before. I have no problem eating what I am to eat. I like that food better. Just crave once a month stuff I don't need. Yet like I said above. So now what?
  • jkt1127
    jkt1127 Posts: 6
    I agree with cmriverside completely, but it doesn't mean it's always easy.

    I'd be willing to bet that many people on here have been where you feel you are. Myself included. You have to be completely ready to do it and you have to stick to it. You've got to really WANT to do it, and be willing to put forth the effort, because it is truly tough for many.

    For me, the hardest part is getting to the point of being willing to give it my all. It's a mental state that I need to be in. And it doesn't take much to throw me off---having company, getting sick, going on vacation, etc. I was where I needed to be mentally years ago, and lost a ton and kept it off before having kids. Now, I'm trying to get back to that state of mind, because it is truly all up to me.

    Best wishes on finding YOUR zone!
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    I know what you guys are thinking. I'm passing the buck. NO I'M NOT. I have the motivation. I have the desire. I just cant do this on my own if the budget isn't there. But thanks for your input. I am listening really. I'm not going for size 0 again. Just a healthy 12/14.

    Maybe I will just log in. Mark my foods and ..... continue to do the best I can under my circumstances.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    This is true to a point. Yet what do you do when you have a small food budget and only one wants to eat right. Cant buy what you don't have the money for when everyone else has spent it already. I have to make due with what i have. So guess the really question is how do you get others on board?

    At my smallest I was a size 0-2 (dang hips). This was before. I have no problem eating what I am to eat. I like that food better. Just crave once a month stuff I don't need. Yet like I said above. So now what?

    Keep making excuses. That will help.


    Seriously, you don't have to eat 100% all Healthy foods. Just less of the stuff than you have been eating. It's pretty easy to lose weight - but you have to keep track. That's really all there is to it. Eat less, move more, keep track.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    I have done this FIVE TIMES! THIS IS THE LAST DAMN TIME! with this site, I have so much support on here that I dont need it from any where else. I have a ways to go, but I get great advice on what to eat, what to do for exercise, started lifting heavier and seeing even better results. i weigh more than I did at ww goal but I am smaller than i was then. I will never stop logging, stop talking to my friends. they would bug me too much! but that is a good thing. I have been on since october every day and like I said I am not done. you can add me if you need some support. add like minded people to get you where you need to be. you can do this! its not easy, but it is worth it!
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    Just so those who read this and think I am passing the buck. I have in the past 2 years dropped 50lbs. (if added up what I've dropped and gained and dropped I would be passed my goal weight). Like I said I guess the really question is how to get family on board. So you stay with in your food budget, and everyone gets healthy. Not totally deprive ourselves just healthy.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    I have done this FIVE TIMES! THIS IS THE LAST DAMN TIME! with this site, I have so much support on here that I dont need it from any where else. I have a ways to go, but I get great advice on what to eat, what to do for exercise, started lifting heavier and seeing even better results. i weigh more than I did at ww goal but I am smaller than i was then. I will never stop logging, stop talking to my friends. they would bug me too much! but that is a good thing. I have been on since october every day and like I said I am not done. you can add me if you need some support. add like minded people to get you where you need to be. you can do this! its not easy, but it is worth it!

    Thanks annabellj. I am new at all this and don't know how to do much on social networking stuff. If that is a picture of you now. WOW not sure how much more you want to go but I'd be happy like that (where I was when got married size 12/14). Id add you if I knew how. Thanks again
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    Just so those who read this and think I am passing the buck. I have in the past 2 years dropped 50lbs. (if added up what I've dropped and gained and dropped I would be passed my goal weight). Like I said I guess the really question is how to get family on board. So you stay with in your food budget, and everyone gets healthy. Not totally deprive ourselves just healthy.

    I'll try one more time. Your family has nothing to do with what you eat. . .

    All of us have to navigate the "world" and the food choices out there. Make your decision. Stick to it most of the time. Lose weight.


  • capriciousmoon
    capriciousmoon Posts: 1,263 Member
    If you want it enough you just have to find a way. Maybe see if you can have a small portion of the food budget set aside for yourself? That's what I did. I spent about $20 a week on myself and everyone else ate how they wanted to.
  • jkt1127
    jkt1127 Posts: 6
    This is true to a point. Yet what do you do when you have a small food budget and only one wants to eat right. Cant buy what you don't have the money for when everyone else has spent it already. I have to make due with what i have. So guess the really question is how do you get others on board?

    At my smallest I was a size 0-2 (dang hips). This was before. I have no problem eating what I am to eat. I like that food better. Just crave once a month stuff I don't need. Yet like I said above. So now what?

    Keep making excuses. That will help.


    Seriously, you don't have to eat 100% all Healthy foods. Just less of the stuff than you have been eating. It's pretty easy to lose weight - but you have to keep track. That's really all there is to it. Eat less, move more, keep track.

    Portion control is HUGE.

    Having a family that isn't on board can be tricky, but it's not impossible. Do you do the cooking? The shopping? Make sure you have lots of things that fit into your daily allowance and have "your" stuff. I often even eat something completely different than the rest of my family b/c it's what I have to do. I understand that $ can play a big part, too, but it is possible to find things that fit into your budget and your daily allowance. If I am eating w/ my family, I control HOW MUCH I am eating (I plan before I eat).

    Again, portion control is HUGE! And exercise! You can do it!
  • jsp2374
    jsp2374 Posts: 131 Member
    My husband didn't decide to join me til I had been doing this a month already. I made a decision for my health and made compromises. Like if I was going to fix them fried chicken I back or seared it for myself. I would have an exact serve of anything they ate. In other words I weighed everything. You can get a digital scale for all of 20bucks, and thats here in Australia. I am sure you can get them cheaper in the US. You can do it and stay in your food budget.

    You can also do it without your family getting on board. You can also slip things onto their plates without them even noticing. It isn't easy and you have to want it. Are you trying to convince us or yourself that you aren't passing the buck?
  • brendacs21
    brendacs21 Posts: 180 Member
    I understand where you are coming from. I have been up and down many years and im sick of it. sick of always wanting to be a certain size and almost getting there and then i gain it all back!! I decided last summer i would only lose and if i started gaining i would push myself again to start losing. although i didnt lose weight during the holiday season i didnt gain, thats the first time in years! its a day by day deal and just log in here, get support and push yourself. no matter what put yourself first and go for it , you deserve it!
  • elfy66
    elfy66 Posts: 138 Member
    It's not easy, family life, budgets and time all get in the way. I've learned to try to count calories all the time - if I'm out and I go over, I try to make up the following day. One thing I've noticed about my "naturally" slim friends is that they do this subconsciously, if they eat heavy for one meal they compensate with tea or the next day.
    try not to deprive yourself, just count the cost of everything.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    You can also do it without your family getting on board. You can also slip things onto their plates without them even noticing. It isn't easy and you have to want it. Are you trying to convince us or yourself that you aren't passing the buck?

    1st I hate you that you live in Australia :tongue: Always wanted to go there. No I just know its easy to judge someone based on one to two sentences. That's why I said I dropped 50 lbs in 2 years. If i add in what I lost more then once then Id be at my goal. But I have kept 50 off and not regained. So to answer your question I guess to convince you all. I need the support. I am listening but I need positive support not ones who want to just ... I don't know how to put it. Right now I am very sleep deprived and cant think. And after a bad day yesterday out with the family and forced to try to find something ok to eat compared to the others. And food allowance spent until next week so again forced into this situation. I love my husband and that he thinks I don't need to loose any. (Im 5'4 and 198) But health reasons I do. Health reasons he needs to. HE don't want to loose any (even though the doctors have been on us both) I just need ideas.
    I did what you said last pay and it lasted a week. Yes I stayed in my amounts and didn't go over. I am eating more now then before to stay close to my numbers. I didn't realize how much I was to eat. So I know that this is my fault that I didn't get enough. But just to get that was a struggle it seemed. They don't want to give up any of their favorites. Does this make sense at all?
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    Thanks brendacs21 and elfy66. Glad to hear I am not the only one.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    grit, and the joy of seeing the scal sssslllloooowwwwlllyyy go down
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    First few months I did this, I didn't tell the person I lived with. I didn't buy any different foods. Everything stayed the same. Except for the portion sizes.

    I logged what I ate in my diary. I stopped eating when I reached my goal. I lost a little weight.

    It doesn't matter if your family doesn't like healthy food. You can lose weight eating 1,500 calories of twinkies. Eat what you are used to eating, just eat less of it.
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    In my opinion, you have to view it as a lifestyle change. You don't reach your goal weight and then stop... you keep going.

    Second, I agree with what others have said about how this is you and you alone. You can make excuses about an unsupportive family, but that doesn't mean keeping weight off is impossible. Maybe harder, but still possible. Lots of families these days have members who have special dietary needs. There are vegetarians who have family members who still eat meat, and gluten intolerant people who have family members who still eat gluten. You are not bound to your family's diet nor are they bound to yours.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    To cmriverside I know you were not attacking me at least that's how I hope. I am taking it a tough love. I hope you know what I mean. I just right now need the support. That's why I am here. I swear I told myself I was going to get on log stuff but not look at the boards and not post. But the last two days I need the support from someone.
  • elfy66
    elfy66 Posts: 138 Member
    And don't forget, you're not alone :)
  • jsp2374
    jsp2374 Posts: 131 Member
    It does make sense. Again like you said that is on you. I understand that you need support. If you want me to friend you I can. I have 46 Kilo's so 101 pounds to get rid of. I didn't want to keep weighing the food but I did. That was all about my will power though. I too realised I needed to eat more, and some days I was finding it really hard. Not sure what to say though.

    Oh and as for the Australia thing. I absolutely love it here. I am an American/Australian Duel Citizen, but have not been back to the US since I left in Oct of 2003. I married and Aussie. :tongue: Best thing I ever did.
    You can also do it without your family getting on board. You can also slip things onto their plates without them even noticing. It isn't easy and you have to want it. Are you trying to convince us or yourself that you aren't passing the buck?

    1st I hate you that you live in Australia :tongue: Always wanted to go there. No I just know its easy to judge someone based on one to two sentences. That's why I said I dropped 50 lbs in 2 years. If i add in what I lost more then once then Id be at my goal. But I have kept 50 off and not regained. So to answer your question I guess to convince you all. I need the support. I am listening but I need positive support not ones who want to just ... I don't know how to put it. Right now I am very sleep deprived and cant think. And after a bad day yesterday out with the family and forced to try to find something ok to eat compared to the others. And food allowance spent until next week so again forced into this situation. I love my husband and that he thinks I don't need to loose any. (Im 5'4 and 198) But health reasons I do. Health reasons he needs to. HE don't want to loose any (even though the doctors have been on us both) I just need ideas.
    I did what you said last pay and it lasted a week. Yes I stayed in my amounts and didn't go over. I am eating more now then before to stay close to my numbers. I didn't realize how much I was to eat. So I know that this is my fault that I didn't get enough. But just to get that was a struggle it seemed. They don't want to give up any of their favorites. Does this make sense at all?
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    While I agree that we are in control of what goes in our mouth, support is very important. If you can't find support offline, look to those online. Find someone you can relate with, get to know them, become phone buddies maybe? A lot of people don't get support from people offline because either they aren't interested in the same thing, or because they never had to go through and don't understand it.

    You are more then welcome to friend me. I did not get support from my friends and family till my weight started dropping, a lot of people don't think we can or will do it so they don't bother with helping. Now when we go out anywhere to eat, they ask me "What can you eat?" Instead of "Let's go here". I never asked for that, I will make due with where ever and find the lightest choice I can, because I have to flex my will power for it to get stronger. It takes time but you can do it! It is possible, and again if you want a friend, I have been there without the support, I got it now, but wiling to be support for someone else :).
  • jsp2374
    jsp2374 Posts: 131 Member
    Oh and my MIL is the absolute worst person to be around when dieting. She wants to shovel food down our throats. Right after I started my diet my oldest daughter had her birthday. We had to go over to the MIL's house for a dinner. She wanted to give me coke and tea with sugar, and ice cream and so on. I ate the pizza for dinner but then stopped cause I was at my calorie limit. Then when I didn't want ice cream, she was like why, cause it has a gazilliion calories. I ignored the sarcasm and just went on my merry way. It isn't easy but it can be done. I mean she is the same woman who over a year ago looked at me as said, "well you may not be able to loose weight but at least you could quit gaining."
  • kelly_a
    kelly_a Posts: 2,010 Member
    I understand what you are saying...my dh and our grown sons have no desire to eat healthy. I have had success in the past, all while cooking for them and me. I'll be honest, it is not easy. You need to understand that you cannot change anyone to be like you or desire to be healthy, etc. You can only change yourself. For me, losing weight, eating right, exercising, wanting to be healthy....it's ALL MENTAL. When I am in my best state of mind....I have success, with the entire healthy-eating-exercising life. When I'm not, it's a very bad road...and many many times so hard to shake. I usually have to wait for something to *click* in my head...because no matter how hard I try or what I do to help myself...nothing works. This has been a cycle for me for 15+ yrs. I joined MFP in Jan of '09. The most I have lost is almost 35 lbs. I've done more yo-yoing the last 2 years. Just take one day at a time, and get serious about taking care of you. It is totally up to you to get where you want to be...and no one else can do it but YOU. good luck...I hope you get this figured out and are soon going in the right direction. You have done it in the past....you have to BELIEVE you can do it again...each and every day...the rest of your life!:flowerforyou:
  • littlesis412
    littlesis412 Posts: 314 Member
    Healthy foods don't have to be expensive. Buy some fruits and veggies but not the prepackaged ones. You save money washing and cutting things yourself. Make something in a slow cooker and eat that throughout the week while everyone else eats their food. Buy things in bulk like yogurt and chicken. I know this recipe actually turned out pretty cheap for the amount of food it made:
    http://www.skinnytaste.com/2008/11/crock-pot-chicken-taco-chili-4-pts.html
    Have salads like these ready to grab and you'll be less tempted by microwave meals:
    http://www.newlyweds-blog.com/2011/11/08/salad-in-a-jar/

    As for your MIL, God love 'em. Just tell her you're no longer hungry and when you are you'll let her know. Don't openly say it's because of a diet. Maybe it's just my experience but that explanation seems to make people want to tempt you. And feel free to come here for support. That's what we're here for :smile:
  • jkt1127
    jkt1127 Posts: 6
    I understand what you are saying...my dh and our grown sons have no desire to eat healthy. I have had success in the past, all while cooking for them and me. I'll be honest, it is not easy. You need to understand that you cannot change anyone to be like you or desire to be healthy, etc. You can only change yourself. For me, losing weight, eating right, exercising, wanting to be healthy....it's ALL MENTAL. When I am in my best state of mind....I have success, with the entire healthy-eating-exercising life. When I'm not, it's a very bad road...and many many times so hard to shake. I usually have to wait for something to *click* in my head...because no matter how hard I try or what I do to help myself...nothing works. This has been a cycle for me for 15+ yrs. I joined MFP in Jan of '09. The most I have lost is almost 35 lbs. I've done more yo-yoing the last 2 years. Just take one day at a time, and get serious about taking care of you. It is totally up to you to get where you want to be...and no one else can do it but YOU. good luck...I hope you get this figured out and are soon going in the right direction. You have done it in the past....you have to BELIEVE you can do it again...each and every day...the rest of your life!:flowerforyou:

    You have expressed exactly how I feel about my weight loss journey---the Mental, the state of mind, etc, etc---waitinig for somethinig to click. Are we the same person? Thank you for verbalizing it so well!
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    elfy66, brendacs21, jsp2374 & littlesis412 thanks. wish I new how to friend request.
  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    Thanks everyone for your ideas and such. I wish I knew how to friend request. I think some of you would be a great support system. You seem to understand where I am coming from. But I got points from all of you thanks again.. Hope people keep posting ideas. I need them.
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