Stupid Relationship Question.
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Some guys just don't have much to say. My hubby isn't into talking or texting that much. If he is your boyfriend then you are free to text him. If he has a problem with you texting him after not talking to him for a few days then I would say the relationship most likely won't work out. However, from what you say it doesn't seem like he would have a problem with you contacting him. I really don't understand why you don't just text him.
Yeah text him and let us know what happens. I'm a male but I don't think I'm typical of the real male behaviour in relation to dating. I'm curious lol!0 -
Some guys just don't have much to say. My hubby isn't into talking or texting that much. If he is your boyfriend then you are free to text him. If he has a problem with you texting him after not talking to him for a few days then I would say the relationship most likely won't work out. However, from what you say it doesn't seem like he would have a problem with you contacting him. I really don't understand why you don't just text him.
Yeah text him and let us know what happens. I'm a male but I don't think I'm typical of the real male behaviour in relation to dating. I'm curious lol!
Alright, I did send him the one text but it's bad timing so I'll probably contact him again around late afternoon. Would it be better if I just called him since he hates texting?0 -
Well I am glad you texted him. No big deal. If you do date someone who makes a big deal about it I wouldn't date them anymore. If you plan to get married how great would it be to try and communicate with someone that touchy? However, if you don't plan to get married I guess communication doesn't matter as much.0
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Yeah text him and let us know what happens. I'm a male but I don't think I'm typical of the real male behaviour in relation to dating. I'm curious lol!
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. :laugh:0 -
Yeah text him and let us know what happens. I'm a male but I don't think I'm typical of the real male behaviour in relation to dating. I'm curious lol!
If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. :laugh:
I'm legit though
Of course I'm still male but I'm open, can say what I feel, not afraid of emotions. Bit of a gentlemen.0 -
Well I am glad you texted him. No big deal. If you do date someone who makes a big deal about it I wouldn't date them anymore. If you plan to get married how great would it be to try and communicate with someone that touchy? However, if you don't plan to get married I guess communication doesn't matter as much.
LOL. We're definitely not ready for marriage. But we're both being patient with each other though.
I know he definitely appreciates that.
He has the infuriating habit of assuming that I know what his feelings are because he told me his feelings month ago.
It's irritating but amusing at the same time. Luckily because I know this about him, it means that I technically do know how he feels about me.
I also know that if he wanted to break up with me, he'd do it. He told me that if he ever stopped loving me that he'd stop the relationship. I trust him enough to know that he would lead me on or anything.
Gosh, I've got so much to learn. I need to stop projecting my abusive boyfriends onto him. He doesn't deserve that. He's more than proved that he's not like that.0 -
I partially hate bringing up things like this cause he thinks it's a bigger deal than it is and beats himself up about it and starts thinking he's a bad boyfriend. I really try to pick and chose my battles since he does blame himself so much. Our last "issue" I brought up, he said that if there are any problems in our relationship then it's not my fault but his. He doesn't seem to really understand that issues are typically both people's fault. He always takes the blame.
I know he's crazy about me, he just is sooo clueless. He doesn't need as much attention and affection as me. He doesn't understand this though cause he has no previous experience and he's so shy that he usually gets really bashful around girls he likes. I had to make all the first moves or else we probably would have never started to date.
He'll learn, just tell him that it takes two to make a relationship. Everything is trial and error. You shouldn't have to worry about communicating. Just be yourself, let things flow naturally.
I'm assuming it's still early in the relationship, it will get easier as time goes on!
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I partially hate bringing up things like this cause he thinks it's a bigger deal than it is and beats himself up about it and starts thinking he's a bad boyfriend. I really try to pick and chose my battles since he does blame himself so much. Our last "issue" I brought up, he said that if there are any problems in our relationship then it's not my fault but his. He doesn't seem to really understand that issues are typically both people's fault. He always takes the blame.
I know he's crazy about me, he just is sooo clueless. He doesn't need as much attention and affection as me. He doesn't understand this though cause he has no previous experience and he's so shy that he usually gets really bashful around girls he likes. I had to make all the first moves or else we probably would have never started to date.
He'll learn, just tell him that it takes two to make a relationship. Everything is trial and error. You shouldn't have to worry about communicating. Just be yourself, let things flow naturally.
I'm assuming it's still early in the relationship, it will get easier as time goes on!
Yea, it's only been almost 6 months and this has been the slowest relationship I've had. Very slow and steady, which I love and hate at the same time. It was really fast at first then got super slow and I feel like it almost took a few steps back even. We've only had our first issue not long ago, we go to a really conservative school though and I feel like that's kinda held our relationship back from progressing more. It's not a very comfortable environment for a relationship. Luckily, we both graduate soon.0 -
How long have you guys been together?
If you want a guy that sticks like glue, you can have mine!!! If he could have me surgically attached to his hip, I think he would. It drives me batcrap bonkers sometimes!!! I love him, but I do value my alone time. We've been together for six years though. Kinda like a perma-engagement.0 -
How long have you guys been together?
If you want a guy that sticks like glue, you can have mine!!! If he could have me surgically attached to his hip, I think he would. It drives me batcrap bonkers sometimes!!! I love him, but I do value my alone time. We've been together for six years though. Kinda like a perma-engagement.
If I had to chose between the two, I think I would rather have the alone time. My boyfriend would piss me off way more if we were together a ton. I would just like a bit more media-type contact while we're not able to see each other face-to-face. That's just my personal preference though.
And six months, not long at all. We're still learning about each other.0 -
Yea, it's only been almost 6 months and this has been the slowest relationship I've had. Very slow and steady, which I love and hate at the same time. It was really fast at first then got super slow and I feel like it almost took a few steps back even. We've only had our first issue not long ago, we go to a really conservative school though and I feel like that's kinda held our relationship back from progressing more. It's not a very comfortable environment for a relationship. Luckily, we both graduate soon.
When I first started seeing my boyfriend he preferred to take things slow. He took longer to open up and was wary. He had been in an abusive relationship prior to me, he didn't understand how healthy works.
You should just talk to him about these things, you've got lots to learn about each other! Don't be afraid to be open with him, it's a learning progress you go through together 0 -
I'm legit though
Of course I'm still male but I'm open, can say what I feel, not afraid of emotions. Bit of a gentlemen.
Wow...you must live in an alternate universe.
Or at least, not in Michigan0 -
I'm legit though
Of course I'm still male but I'm open, can say what I feel, not afraid of emotions. Bit of a gentlemen.
Wow...you must live in an alternate universe.
Or at least, not in Michigan
Australia, it's about 11,ooo miles away. Might as well be another universe. Met an amazing girl from
Chicago, on the weekend. We spent some time together. What I would do to see her again, she leaves today to Sydney, then back home. Waaaah.0 -
Yea, it's only been almost 6 months and this has been the slowest relationship I've had. Very slow and steady, which I love and hate at the same time. It was really fast at first then got super slow and I feel like it almost took a few steps back even. We've only had our first issue not long ago, we go to a really conservative school though and I feel like that's kinda held our relationship back from progressing more. It's not a very comfortable environment for a relationship. Luckily, we both graduate soon.
When I first started seeing my boyfriend he preferred to take things slow. He took longer to open up and was wary. He had been in an abusive relationship prior to me, he didn't understand how healthy works.
You should just talk to him about these things, you've got lots to learn about each other! Don't be afraid to be open with him, it's a learning progress you go through together
He understands all about my crappy exes. I've told him and he's been incredibly patient about it. It's been nice being in a healthy relationship but I think things would be easier if he had previous experience too although I would never tell him that.
He had to help me through alot of baggage at the beginning cause me and my last boyfriend broke up less than a month before me and my present boyfriend started dating so I hadn't had time to get over alot of stuff. He's really understanding about that type of stuff. I had to explain to him when we had our first talk why I'm not a fan of conflict, my last boyfriend would always threaten to break up with me while the one before that would make it all my fault and sometimes yell at me. My boyfriend assured me that he wouldn't do that and to talk to him.
I just feel horrible when I make him feel horrible though. I know we'll (or I'll) get over that though. He told me if there is a problem that we'll work through it and he always admits if something is his fault and he always apologizes but he feels like crap for awhile after because he feels so guilty. I hate doing that cause he's such a sweet person.
... I've been told by many people that I'm the "man" in the relationship. Our roles are kinda reversed to a degree.0 -
Some guys just don't have much to say. My hubby isn't into talking or texting that much. If he is your boyfriend then you are free to text him. If he has a problem with you texting him after not talking to him for a few days then I would say the relationship most likely won't work out. However, from what you say it doesn't seem like he would have a problem with you contacting him. I really don't understand why you don't just text him.
Yeah text him and let us know what happens. I'm a male but I don't think I'm typical of the real male behaviour in relation to dating. I'm curious lol!
Alright, I did send him the one text but it's bad timing so I'll probably contact him again around late afternoon. Would it be better if I just called him since he hates texting?
Yes! Why not meet him half way. But don't start the conversation with, "why haven't you texted me."0 -
I've been through three deployments, one of which lasted 14 months (All with minimal contact) but I know that's not the norm. I hope everything works out for you 0
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I talk to my guy about once a month. He lives in Florida, works the Disney World Park (which is an awful job) and generally has time filled by work, chores, and *kitten* roommates. I know he's busy so it's not like he's just refusing to call or text or anything.
Around week 3 I can get pretty insecure, but I have a lot of emotional issues. I've almost lost him twice due to these insecurities and so-called friends who put more in my head. I learned that it's all in my head and if I miss him, I will let him know. If I need to talk to him, I will let him know and within a day or so we talk and all is well again.
Communication issues happen, general issues happen, and our pasts can bite us on the butt enough to be an issue. If you miss him, tell him. If something's wrong, tell him. You can't wait around praying he'll miss you enough to take the initiative and if you want him to once in a while, ask.0 -
I talk to my guy about once a month. He lives in Florida, works the Disney World Park (which is an awful job) and generally has time filled by work, chores, and *kitten* roommates. I know he's busy so it's not like he's just refusing to call or text or anything.
Around week 3 I can get pretty insecure, but I have a lot of emotional issues. I've almost lost him twice due to these insecurities and so-called friends who put more in my head. I learned that it's all in my head and if I miss him, I will let him know. If I need to talk to him, I will let him know and within a day or so we talk and all is well again.
Communication issues happen, general issues happen, and our pasts can bite us on the butt enough to be an issue. If you miss him, tell him. If something's wrong, tell him. You can't wait around praying he'll miss you enough to take the initiative and if you want him to once in a while, ask.
You're right. Sorry about your S.O.'s schedule, that has to be rough.
I don't need to reason we break up to be because I'm insecure. He obviously can't read my mind and his mind reading skills get even worse if we're not able to see each other. He's most likely waiting for me to say something since that's how it usually goes anyway. I'll probably call him sometime tomorrow to say hey and see how his break has been.0 -
My opinion is playing games like waiting for him to text first and things like that will only lead to disappointment and arguments. I don't think you should ever play games because you will be the only one playing, he will be having fun oblivious to what you want from him.
I think if you want to talk to him you should phone him, I wouldn't bother with the texting because you already know he doesn't like doing that. Just phone him and talk about all of the fun and laughs you've had since you last saw him :-)0 -
I talk to my guy about once a month. He lives in Florida, works the Disney World Park (which is an awful job) and generally has time filled by work, chores, and *kitten* roommates. I know he's busy so it's not like he's just refusing to call or text or anything.
Around week 3 I can get pretty insecure, but I have a lot of emotional issues. I've almost lost him twice due to these insecurities and so-called friends who put more in my head. I learned that it's all in my head and if I miss him, I will let him know. If I need to talk to him, I will let him know and within a day or so we talk and all is well again.
Communication issues happen, general issues happen, and our pasts can bite us on the butt enough to be an issue. If you miss him, tell him. If something's wrong, tell him. You can't wait around praying he'll miss you enough to take the initiative and if you want him to once in a while, ask.
You're right. Sorry about your S.O.'s schedule, that has to be rough.
I don't need to reason we break up to be because I'm insecure. He obviously can't read my mind and his mind reading skills get even worse if we're not able to see each other. He's most likely waiting for me to say something since that's how it usually goes anyway. I'll probably call him sometime tomorrow to say hey and see how his break has been.
It is rough, but when we talk or can be together it's worth the wait inbetween. I can't say it's easy or you get used to it because really I think no one could and be happy.
All you can really do is know what your end's like and if you're chomping at the bits, it's either reach out and say "Hey, here I am!" or wait and really just make yourself worse. That's the nasty part about being apart for any time because it's so much more difficult to know what they're doing, where they are, so on. So the mind has ample ammunition to either give you hope or try to crush you.
Sometimes just leaving a message on their voicemail can ease things because you've taken that first step and they'll have a way to know you want to talk, even if it's casual "so what have you been up to" stuff. Another good trick I picked up when there's times you can't contact them for whatever reason (it's too late at night, you know they're busy at work or school, you're not in a good position to call them, etc) and you really have stuff to get off your chest is to grab a pencil and paper and write a letter. You don't have to send them, you can burn them later, whatever you choose to do but it is a good way to get all those thoughts and feelings out in tangible form.
Sorry if I'm rambling. I worked on a long distance relationship forum for a year so I've seen all degrees of being apart and just tend to spew stuff I've learned.0
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