When Does one Cease to be Single? When exclusive, when marri

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  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
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    I'm curious about when one stops being single. Is it when you get married? Is it when you are exclusive with someone? I have been seeing a lot of people in relationships say they are married but aren't actually engaged and haven't set a wedding date. I primarily see Women do this. Is this a mistake? Is this the newage dating. What are your thoughts? Inquiring minds want to know . . .

    Nicole and I have been together for 4 years. We have a 5 month old son (planned) and I've got a ring on her finger. There is no real intention of ever getting married. All "marriage" is is a piece of paper anyway. What will us having that piece of paper change? Other than our tax status.

    However I would think we are exclusive.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    You are in a relationship, when you have a mutual agreement to not see other people.

    You are married when you have a legal document saying so.

    Unforunately society has kind of twisted marriage. I know I am going to get a huge backlash for this, but here goes my soapbox. This is only my opinion and you are all entitled to yours. Marriage is a biblical term. (like it or not it is a biblical term.) The government gave benefits to those that are married. (I'm not saying other people shouldn't get those same benefits, I think they should) A lot of people say they are married for the sake of solidifing their relationship mentally, when for some, finacially it doesn't make sense to get married.

    I do think it is silly to say you are married when you aren't and don't have a date set and aren't even engaged. There are reasons for not getting married. My sister isn't married to her SO because he has a kid from another woman and if they get married, they will count her income with his and use that to pay child support for a kid that isn't hers. Then there is the same sex marriage that isn't legal in most states.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    Okay, this is my opinion:

    1. Single--unmarried, unattached, available
    2. Casually Dating--seeing at least one person, but you aren't exclusive with anyone
    3. Dating--you refer to a specific person as your bf/gf (still single, but unavailable)
    4. Engaged--You have committed yourself to spend the rest of your life with a specific person (not quite married yet, but not really single anymore, either)
    5. Married--no longer single in any way, shape, or form
  • ShoeDeahva
    ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
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    "I'm curious about when one stops being single."

    Depends if you ask the male in the relationship or the female! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Not always--I am a Married Female and in my mind I stopped being single when I said I do. Hubby wasn't thrilled but I told him I was exclusive which was all that mattered. :)
  • UUZennie
    UUZennie Posts: 26 Member
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    Actually in TX Common Law doesn't exist. It's called an informal marriage and there are about ten things that can make it so but only a few of them are necessary:

    1. Publicly assert your married status i.e. calling each other Husband or Wife in public.
    2. Woman's use of Man's last name either replacing her own or in addition to her own.
    3. Co-mingling of funds. This can be Bills in Both names or joint checking accounts. Basically you share money in some form, regularly.

    That's it. No time restriction, here. You can be married tomorrow and you still have to get a divorce.

    :-)
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!

    Complicated creatures you are.
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
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    My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
    That is called common-law marriage...

    I live in Missouri. Common-law marriage doesn't exist here.

    Especially not when they're breaking up and one's moving out and then they're getting back together constantly. She only said things like this to school officials, etc. Like I said, she wanted to legitimize their relationship because he wouldn't propose to her. He kept dumping her and trying to move out.
  • ShoeDeahva
    ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
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    Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!

    Complicated creatures you are.

    Actually I am a woman who agrees with typical Male opinion on this topic. I was curious about the consensus because the question came up after Hubby and I watched a tv series. He felt that I ceased to be single when we became exclusive. I told him that I felt that I ceased to be single after we were married. :)
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
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    Your married when you go before God and the state and swear an oath, enter a contract and consummate a marriage. I mean u can give a pinkie swear to someone to be monogamous. But that's all that is . PLAYING house is far from marriage.
  • ShoeDeahva
    ShoeDeahva Posts: 82 Member
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    Your married when you go before God and the state and swear an oath, enter a contract and consummate a marriage. I mean u can give a pinkie swear to someone to be monogamous. But that's all that is . PLAYING house is far from marriage.

    Exactly Dave. Why give the milk away for Free and Tell people you are the cow--when you are just the Milk. Albeit perhaps lovingly the bottle of milk--but still just the milk. :)
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
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    Your married when you go before God and the state and swear an oath, enter a contract and consummate a marriage. I mean u can give a pinkie swear to someone to be monogamous. But that's all that is . PLAYING house is far from marriage.

    Exactly Dave. Why give the milk away for Free and Tell people you are the cow--when you are just the Milk. Albeit perhaps lovingly the bottle of milk--but still just the milk. :)

    I know some ladies (gold diggers) that think...
    Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free, or in some cases the bacon.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!

    Complicated creatures you are.

    Actually I am a woman who agrees with typical Male opinion on this topic. I was curious about the consensus because the question came up after Hubby and I watched a tv series. He felt that I ceased to be single when we became exclusive. I told him that I felt that I ceased to be single after we were married. :)

    I can sort of see his point. I mean, couple means two and single means one. Once you're exclusive, you ARE a COUPLE...a DATING couple, yes, but still a couple, none the less. Like I said in my previous comment, exclusive couples are still technically/legally single, because "the two become one" at the time of marriage not at the time of exclusivity. However, they cease to be AVAILABLE as soon as they enter a committed relationship, and for the duration of said relationship. At least, that's how I see it anyway.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!

    Complicated creatures you are.

    Actually I am a woman who agrees with typical Male opinion on this topic. I was curious about the consensus because the question came up after Hubby and I watched a tv series. He felt that I ceased to be single when we became exclusive. I told him that I felt that I ceased to be single after we were married. :)

    I can sort of see his point. I mean, couple means two and single means one. Once you're exclusive, you ARE a COUPLE...a DATING couple, yes, but still a couple, none the less. Like I said in my previous comment, exclusive couples are still technically/legally single, because "the two become one" at the time of marriage not at the time of exclusivity. However, they cease to be AVAILABLE as soon as they enter a committed relationship, and for the duration of said relationship. At least, that's how I see it anyway.

    I agree, JC. "Single" means available to date others. If you're exclusively in a relationship, you are not free to date others (unless you have that kind of relationship).

    You're not married and for legal purposes, you're single. But even though I'm not married, I wouldn't describe myself as single. I'm in a relationship.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
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    I agree with some of the later posters. It's not "Single" OR "Married." My partner and I went from dating (not technically attached) to exclusive (still kinda felt like single but then some?) to being in a committed relationship (i.e. we both agreed that we were not going to see anybody else and would let people know it) to engaged (basically the same as committed but with a very public announcement / intent to marry).

    So, I think you can be not-single well before being married.
  • Meaganandcheese
    Meaganandcheese Posts: 525 Member
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    Single ceases when exclusivity and commitment enter the picture.

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