When Does one Cease to be Single? When exclusive, when marri
ShoeDeahva
Posts: 82 Member
I'm curious about when one stops being single. Is it when you get married? Is it when you are exclusive with someone? I have been seeing a lot of people in relationships say they are married but aren't actually engaged and haven't set a wedding date. I primarily see Women do this. Is this a mistake? Is this the newage dating. What are your thoughts? Inquiring minds want to know . . .
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You stop being single when you stop dating other people. You aren't married until you have that legal document. My only exception for that would be gay couples who still aren't allowed to get married legally. If Bob wants to introduce Dave as his husband I'm fine with that. It just means they would be married if the government wasn't so dang involved in people's personal lives.
ETA - the only people I've ever known who said they were married when they aren't even engaged (aside from gay couples) are teenage girls. IMO it makes them look silly and stupid.0 -
I stop being single when I consider someone my boyfriend and they consider me their girlfriend. Once they are my boyfriend, I will commit 100% and not date other people.
I've never met someone who said they were married, but weren't even engaged, so maybe it is new age...
PS: Bahet, I love your avatar picture! :laugh:0 -
I agree with what the previous posters have said. You're single until you start dating someone exclusively, and you're not married until you have a marriage certificate.
Teenage girls and immature people are the only ones I've seen with "married" FB statuses that aren't really married. My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.0 -
I know many common-law couples that consider themselves married. Some even have wedding rings, they just never felt the need to actually get married on paper.0
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When facebook says so haha
But seriously... I thought people would understand the relationship levels better than that. You're single when you're not sharing a mutual commitment with someone, you're in a relationship when you do have that commitment, engaged when your partner asks (make sure they aren't joking), and you are married when the government says so. (apart from the poor gays who get no respect
as stated above) 0 -
in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.0
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I think you stop being single when you and your partner discuss it and mutually decide that you are in a relationship. I think too many people rush into this, and they think that they have a "relationship" too soon. In my opinion, it takes several months to actually have a real relationship with someone, because the first part of dating is the "honeymoon" phase so to speak, and you may fall in love, but you don't really know the person well enough until you get past that.0
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I just realised my sentence " I thought people would understand the relationship levels better than that" sounded rude to the person who started the thread... sorry, it was directed towards the people who are making things up without putting any effort into making it true.0
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in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.
Exactly this!0 -
Huh, that's odd. I'm not sure where the OP is seeing this but I can only assume it's on some social network site and maybe there's no option for relationship status between Single and Married? So even though they're not married, they're in an exlcusive relationship and consider themselves "off the market" so they choose Married in order to avoid being hit on?
There are other reasons I can think of but they're purely egotistical and don't really make sense...like they're saying they're married because it's embarrassing to say they've been in a relationship with the same guy for 5 years and they're not even engaged. Who knows, people are crazy!0 -
For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.
For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.
I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.0 -
For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.
For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.
I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.
This is why when I hit of some girl who says they are married I ask for documentation. Otherwise they are playing hard to get.0 -
That is called common-law marriage...My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.0 -
For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.
For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.
I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.
^^^^^^^ This.
I am an accountant so I could be jaded. LOL! I am also married. However, in my mind I ceased being single when I said I do. I was exclusive after a week with my BF that became my Hubby 2 years later but I had been exclusive, engaged, living together and the invites were sent and my ex called the wedding off 4 weeks prior. Thus, although I knew Hubby was the one and has been for 10 years, I was Single until we both said I do in front of God, our families and friends in 2004.
IMO, when Men or Women use the term Married, Husband, Wife, etc (when they aren't or aren't attempting to keep the Circus Freaks away) it isn't wise. Why give the milk away for Free and Tell people you are the cow--when you are just the Milk. Albeit perhaps lovingly the bottle of milk--but still just the milk.
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in my opinion, you stop being single when you've had "the talk". Once the two of you decide to become exclusive, you're not single. And, you're not married, until you're married. With the exception of common law marriage, but even then, not really. I wouldn't go around calling someone my husband if I hadn't taken his last name and had official documentation, but that's just me.
This!
Fiance and I have lived together for two years, I have never referred to him as my husband, that would be weird in my opinion! Thou, in three months we will be married ! 0 -
That is called common-law marriage...My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .0 -
That is called common-law marriage...My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .
It's more complicated than that. Just living together for so many years does not make it a common law marriage, even with children. And not every state allows common law marriage.0 -
For IRS and Census purposes, it's when you get legally married.
For whether you can date other people purposes, it's when you are exclusive.
I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years. People jokingly refer to him as my husband, but it's just a joke.
This is why when I hit of some girl who says they are married I ask for documentation. Otherwise they are playing hard to get.
True. Very true.0 -
"I'm curious about when one stops being single."
Depends if you ask the male in the relationship or the female! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
That is called common-law marriage...My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
I thought common law marriage was after 7 years . . .
I think it depends on the state. Texas can be 6 months IF bills come to the house with both names, i.e. you are Barbara Smith and he is Joe Green and the bills say Barbara Green, etc. In Texas, that can be claimed as common law after 6 months living together. But, that still isn't legally binding.0 -
I'm curious about when one stops being single. Is it when you get married? Is it when you are exclusive with someone? I have been seeing a lot of people in relationships say they are married but aren't actually engaged and haven't set a wedding date. I primarily see Women do this. Is this a mistake? Is this the newage dating. What are your thoughts? Inquiring minds want to know . . .
Nicole and I have been together for 4 years. We have a 5 month old son (planned) and I've got a ring on her finger. There is no real intention of ever getting married. All "marriage" is is a piece of paper anyway. What will us having that piece of paper change? Other than our tax status.
However I would think we are exclusive.0 -
You are in a relationship, when you have a mutual agreement to not see other people.
You are married when you have a legal document saying so.
Unforunately society has kind of twisted marriage. I know I am going to get a huge backlash for this, but here goes my soapbox. This is only my opinion and you are all entitled to yours. Marriage is a biblical term. (like it or not it is a biblical term.) The government gave benefits to those that are married. (I'm not saying other people shouldn't get those same benefits, I think they should) A lot of people say they are married for the sake of solidifing their relationship mentally, when for some, finacially it doesn't make sense to get married.
I do think it is silly to say you are married when you aren't and don't have a date set and aren't even engaged. There are reasons for not getting married. My sister isn't married to her SO because he has a kid from another woman and if they get married, they will count her income with his and use that to pay child support for a kid that isn't hers. Then there is the same sex marriage that isn't legal in most states.0 -
Okay, this is my opinion:
1. Single--unmarried, unattached, available
2. Casually Dating--seeing at least one person, but you aren't exclusive with anyone
3. Dating--you refer to a specific person as your bf/gf (still single, but unavailable)
4. Engaged--You have committed yourself to spend the rest of your life with a specific person (not quite married yet, but not really single anymore, either)
5. Married--no longer single in any way, shape, or form0 -
"I'm curious about when one stops being single."
Depends if you ask the male in the relationship or the female! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Not always--I am a Married Female and in my mind I stopped being single when I said I do. Hubby wasn't thrilled but I told him I was exclusive which was all that mattered. 0 -
Actually in TX Common Law doesn't exist. It's called an informal marriage and there are about ten things that can make it so but only a few of them are necessary:
1. Publicly assert your married status i.e. calling each other Husband or Wife in public.
2. Woman's use of Man's last name either replacing her own or in addition to her own.
3. Co-mingling of funds. This can be Bills in Both names or joint checking accounts. Basically you share money in some form, regularly.
That's it. No time restriction, here. You can be married tomorrow and you still have to get a divorce.
:-)0 -
Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!
Complicated creatures you are.0 -
That is called common-law marriage...My fiance's ex-girlfriend was with a guy for 4+ years and they had kids together, and she always referred to him in public as her "husband" and her boyfriend's mom as her "mother-in-law," and made my fiance's daughter call her boyfriend her step-dad. She just wanted to legitimize her relationship.
I live in Missouri. Common-law marriage doesn't exist here.
Especially not when they're breaking up and one's moving out and then they're getting back together constantly. She only said things like this to school officials, etc. Like I said, she wanted to legitimize their relationship because he wouldn't propose to her. He kept dumping her and trying to move out.0 -
Only women contemplate this. Sheesh!
Complicated creatures you are.
Actually I am a woman who agrees with typical Male opinion on this topic. I was curious about the consensus because the question came up after Hubby and I watched a tv series. He felt that I ceased to be single when we became exclusive. I told him that I felt that I ceased to be single after we were married. 0 -
Your married when you go before God and the state and swear an oath, enter a contract and consummate a marriage. I mean u can give a pinkie swear to someone to be monogamous. But that's all that is . PLAYING house is far from marriage.0
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Your married when you go before God and the state and swear an oath, enter a contract and consummate a marriage. I mean u can give a pinkie swear to someone to be monogamous. But that's all that is . PLAYING house is far from marriage.
Exactly Dave. Why give the milk away for Free and Tell people you are the cow--when you are just the Milk. Albeit perhaps lovingly the bottle of milk--but still just the milk. 0
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