Comparing myself with others is not wise

NewLIFEstyle4ME
NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
edited November 12 in Success Stories
Ya know, I've been thinking about something someone Wise once said:

Comparing myself with others is not wise. I'm going to not only take this to heart today (and forever :) but wanted to make this my NSV for today.

When I look at other's figures and physiques--the progress they are making and more important how they made it, it's excellent and wise and good to be glad for them, proud of them, praise & compliment their fabulous attitudes and hard work and beautiful looks/ new lifestyles. But I must not and no longer will DARE to compare myself with anyone anymore, because we are all different. Our make-up is different, our lifestyles are different. What's good for some may not (and indeed I'm discovering more and more each day is NOT) good for me personally. Comparing myself with others isn't wise, because it invites all kinds of YUCK like envy, regret, pride, even anger/bitterness of all foolish things. My life, my goals, my dreams/visions are set- apart just for me, because there is only one me and there is only one you and to compare myself is not only fruitless, it actually can deter or distract me from my personal "mission". Compliment, enjoy, be glad for others YES--Compare myself (my home, personal, physical, mental, spiritual, et. al LIFE is mine alone and not to be/for me to compare with anyone else's life/style/methods of being and doing--period.

This may not apply to you or even make sense to you--but it does to me and therefore no longer comparing myself with others, because it is not wise for me to do so... is a BIG ole NSV for/to me.

Replies

  • natashahunt2010
    natashahunt2010 Posts: 49
    I have this same problem. I constantly compare my body against other peoples. And most the time it just breaks my heart! I'd like to stop too.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Excellent realisation! Comparing our victories and obstacles with others gets us no where because everyone is very different!
  • slipandsink
    slipandsink Posts: 43 Member
    I am terrible for this, it's a skill I really need to learn quickly! I'm constantly comparing myself to the others on my cheerleading squad - my mind doesn't see that they're fitter than me and far better at gymnastics because it's been a hobby, skill and *habit* for them all their life, where I'm just getting into fitness/gymnastics
  • Coco_Puff
    Coco_Puff Posts: 823 Member
    We are always our worst critic and see things that sometimes aren't even there. I think back to high school when I considered myself less than attractive than my friends, the cubby one, ugly hair. Then as I got older I realized all that stuff wasn't as important as being the person I needed to be for my family and I'm happy with that. But those same people that I felt less than in high school, I see at class reunions and I'm always taken aback by the comments they make about me. They'll tell me, you were always so cute and a great dresser. And your hair always was perfect. And I always wanted to ask you out, but was too scared. I never knew this, I felt like I was the last one anyone thought these things about. Your own thinking, the scale, a certain size clothing can make us feel awful, how stupid is that. So you see, we must stop beating ourselves up cause we don't look like this person or have that body. We can only be the best we can be at this time in our lives and that should be the reward.
  • shoyrob
    shoyrob Posts: 25
    I understand this far to well.. Right now I'm just having a hard time. I'm comparing myself to everyone and everything. I compare my weight, my clothes, finance, my complete look in general. Yesterday I had went out and brought a $25 foundation for my face just because its suppose to cover my face a lot better. But my friend has been going on and on about this line of makeup for the past month. Not only is it out of my price range. But truly I didn't see much difference. IDK... I relate to this so much..
  • kellyrorie
    kellyrorie Posts: 47 Member
    You're so right! You could never be soeone else, so comparison will only bring a sense of failure. Compare you to you, and be happy with yourself :) Great message!
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    I have this same problem. I constantly compare my body against other peoples. And most the time it just breaks my heart! I'd like to stop too.
  • BeingWiser
    BeingWiser Posts: 65
    I really needed to hear this! Thanks.
  • amandammmq
    amandammmq Posts: 394 Member
    You are so right! I'm 5'11", which sounds all great, but when you're a little tubby and are towering over 5'2" women who are a size 4, it can make you feel pretty darned enormous and awkward! Even worse, I work in a middle school, where kids are constantly remarking about my height. Aggh! Letting it go and being the best person I can be is what I need to focus on.
  • im_blessed
    im_blessed Posts: 74 Member
    I have a hard time with this too but im working on it every day because you're so right, comparing does allow other feelings that are just unnecessary.
  • Birder150
    Birder150 Posts: 677 Member
    "Comparison is the thief of Happiness"
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    "Comparison is the thief of Happiness"

    Wow!!!! This is another fabulous thing I'll store in the ole bio computer/my brain from this day forth to help me when (not if...but when) this dreaded temptation rises it's dumb and counterproductive head in my thoughts and heart. THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting this. :flowerforyou:
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    Thanks to you :heart: ALL:heart: you fabulous people you for replying to this post!
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    bump:flowerforyou:
  • MindyG150
    MindyG150 Posts: 1,296 Member
    Comparing myself with others is not wise.

    I know I know...why do I do this to myself????:frown:
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    Comparing myself with others is not wise.

    I know I know...why do I do this to myself????:frown:

    Because it's totally natural to do so and designed to keep us in the "place" (mentally, physically, spiritually and every other "ually" there is). in the place of "poor me and pity party bummed outness, So that we (myself included) don't DARE to change and use comparison as a justification, an excuse to drown our bitterness, sorrow, laziness and other negative stuff in the same ole same ole.

    This weight loss adventure is designed for us to GET OUT OF THE BOX of ordinary and comfortable and I think that's why. It's wonderful to hear and believe that just like a new lifestyle must include CHANGE from the natural or ordinary to extraordinary, that we (okay I'll speak for myself) that I MUST NOT COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS-PERIOD...that's how I see it:wink:
  • MummaSue
    MummaSue Posts: 242 Member
    Bump
    Want to keep hold of this thread, it's something I struggle with
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    Bump
    Want to keep hold of this thread, it's something I struggle with

    I think we all do. Once we make up our mind (become resolved/firm in our hearts and minds to simply NOT compare) we simply will no longer do it, thinking this way helps tremendously with this devilish problem--it does for me anyway.
  • uberrach
    uberrach Posts: 66 Member
    Good post.
  • Lar221
    Lar221 Posts: 1 Member
    Like everyone else, I too compare myself to others way too much. It's just so hard not to. I think about what my goal is and the work I have to put in to get there, then I think if I only I looked like so and so...I bet she doesn't have to work this hard...
    Another thing I tend to do (although not quite the same) is I point out my flaws before another person gets to. If I see someone I haven't seen in years I automatically make a comment about my weight, and why I don't look quite like I did when that person was first in my life. These types of negative behaviours only hinder my progress.
    When on a life style change it's best to stay positive and compare yourself to yourself! Look at how far you have come. Think about all of the positive changes you have made thus far.
    I find that I feel a lot better about my choices when I praise the good ones. It think that you should acknowledge when you've had a bad day or maybe didn't put your all in your exercise or your food choices, because you need to remember how you felt about not doing it the way you want to.
    To sum up my post I think we all compare it's human nature, but as long as you remember that it's your life and you stay positive you will ultimately be successful. :smile:
  • artnun
    artnun Posts: 7
    Good post on comparison.
    I think of it as a danger to my weight loss success, its worse than a junk food binge. In fact it could lead to a junk food binge! It's somewhat natural, but natural like a destructive force is natural, and I really don't want that kind of thinking to dominate my life.

    In very very small doses it's a good motivator. I will notice how naturally thin people have eating/activity habits far different from my own, which i can look at and see how I can adapt.

    As a teacher I see the waste and damage that comparison can do all the time : if someone doesn't pick up a skill immediately and do it as well as a professional the first time they try, they decide they are " no good at it" They deny themselves the opportunity to learn a skill, and they disrespect the person who has worked hard to perfect their skill.

    I congratulate you for realizing how this habit can bring you down.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    Good post on comparison.
    I think of it as a danger to my weight loss success, its worse than a junk food binge. In fact it could lead to a junk food binge! It's somewhat natural, but natural like a destructive force is natural, and I really don't want that kind of thinking to dominate my life.

    In very very small doses it's a good motivator. I will notice how naturally thin people have eating/activity habits far different from my own, which i can look at and see how I can adapt.

    As a teacher I see the waste and damage that comparison can do all the time : if someone doesn't pick up a skill immediately and do it as well as a professional the first time they try, they decide they are " no good at it" They deny themselves the opportunity to learn a skill, and they disrespect the person who has worked hard to perfect their skill.

    I congratulate you for realizing how this habit can bring you down.

    Love what you've said about how you see comparison in the teaching business...that's deep and true!
  • kimberlilynn
    kimberlilynn Posts: 56 Member
    I agree!! I needed this post today. Thank you!

    I told my God-daughter last night I feel like I am at a "danger" point of my weight loss. I find myself scanning a room and I am now fairly average. Not the biggest gal, not the smallest gal. Then I asked out loud, "Why do I compare myself to everyone in the room?" She said, "All women do that."

    So I am making a pledge to NOT compare myself, NOT get comfortable! I have worked too hard to stop. I don't want to be fairly average.

    I want to be the best ME! And I know that means a healthy me. A more filt me. And I'm pretty sure weight loss is an awesome side effect of good clean food choices & excerise.

    So on with the good fight!!!
  • kori333
    kori333 Posts: 174 Member
    I've really struggled with this lately in every aspect of my life. And even though I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, I still struggle to stop those thoughts. :frown: It's led to a lot of unhappiness.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    I agree!! I needed this post today. Thank you!

    I told my God-daughter last night I feel like I am at a "danger" point of my weight loss. I find myself scanning a room and I am now fairly average. Not the biggest gal, not the smallest gal. Then I asked out loud, "Why do I compare myself to everyone in the room?" She said, "All women do that."

    So I am making a pledge to NOT compare myself, NOT get comfortable! I have worked too hard to stop. I don't want to be fairly average.

    I want to be the best ME! And I know that means a healthy me. A more filt me. And I'm pretty sure weight loss is an awesome side effect of good clean food choices & excerise.

    So on with the good fight!!!

    You ROCK, period.:flowerforyou:
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    I've really struggled with this lately in every aspect of my life. And even though I know I shouldn't be comparing myself to others, I still struggle to stop those thoughts. :frown: It's led to a lot of unhappiness.

    I'm sorry, and I totally know whatcha mean...that's why I NOW utterly and completely reject comparison--period. No longer accepting "this is what every does" or whatevah--just NO. I'll be genuinely happy for someone (who I previously compared myself with and bless them instead. Boy...that gets my "comparison" jones out of my system with the quickness:laugh:

    I find it literally impossible to compare myself with someone and simultaneously bless them/wish them the best/want the best for them...love them/be happy for them instead. HA! That comparing stuff hits the road QUICK with that kinda thinking, believe me:wink:
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