My Son Fat - By Proxy

kealey1318
kealey1318 Posts: 290 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
My 10 year old son, who is extremely fit and slim, has been joining me (and being incredibly supportive of me) on some of my walks. We walked 5 miles together last night and we really have great conversations and a lot of fun...

Unfortunately, he learned how overweight people often get treated...

I am 232 pounds, was decently covered (wearing capri pants and t-shirt, both slightly baggy since I've lost almost 20 pounds). A pick up truck full (the entire truck bed too) of teenagers/ young men drove by and decided to yell rude things at me because of my weight. This is a 4-lane split roadway and they were 25 feet or so away at the closest point, nice residential area... I was treated to this humiliation 3 times on the walk as they thought it was so fun they came back for more. My son was equal parts embarassed and protective of me.

It's sad that even when you try to do the right things, to lose the weight and get the exercise, you're mocked simply for being. Part of me is sad that it happened, but the other part is somewhat glad. My child learned a very tough lesson in empathy and I know that he would never do something like this to someone else. I am so proud of him!
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Replies

  • Andrea_McQ
    Andrea_McQ Posts: 56 Member
    I am so angry that they thought it was ok to treat anybody like that, so sad that anybody should have to listen to it and so proud of you and your son - your son handled it with more maturity than those older than him, and you didn't let a few idiots deter you from your journey - physically or metaphorically!

    You can't change what other people do, only how you react to them, and you've got that nailed! :-)
  • kao1114
    kao1114 Posts: 51
    I am sorry you & your son had to experience that. People can be so cruel - putting others down to make themselves feel powerful because they feel like failures in their own lives. I understand how you feel. Take solice in the fact that you are raising your son to be a better man than those jerks could ever hope to be. It's wonderful you have such a supportive son on your journey to a healthier lifestyle. And congrats on the 20 lb loss!! That is fantastic! Keep up the great work!!
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.
  • kelfhouse
    kelfhouse Posts: 16
    That is AWFUL! People like that make me SOOOOOO angry. I'm sorry you both had to have that happen. Keep up the great work your doing awesome. And like someone else said you will loose the weight and they will always be jerks!
  • TT_luvs_fitness
    TT_luvs_fitness Posts: 274
    That's horrible. Your doing great so don't ever worry about what other say or think just know your doing a fantastic job. I'm so proud of how hard you work.
  • kealey1318
    kealey1318 Posts: 290 Member
    Thank you, everyone! I don't want it to sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party. This is not the first time something like this has happened to me, and I'm certain it won't be the last either. But I really am trying to make a change, and now I probably get just as much, if not more, exercise than a lot of those boys...

    C'est la vie... Just gotta hold my head up high and keep walking!
  • jenguhl
    jenguhl Posts: 79
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.
    Absolutely true!
  • fimary
    fimary Posts: 274 Member
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.

    well said, i agree keep going
  • alexandria412
    alexandria412 Posts: 177 Member
    Talk about finding the silver lining. Your attitude is absolutely incredible. What an amazing person you are!
  • Laceybaby1967
    Laceybaby1967 Posts: 82 Member
    My 10 year old son, who is extremely fit and slim, has been joining me (and being incredibly supportive of me) on some of my walks. We walked 5 miles together last night and we really have great conversations and a lot of fun...

    Unfortunately, he learned how overweight people often get treated...

    I am 232 pounds, was decently covered (wearing capri pants and t-shirt, both slightly baggy since I've lost almost 20 pounds). A pick up truck full (the entire truck bed too) of teenagers/ young men drove by and decided to yell rude things at me because of my weight. This is a 4-lane split roadway and they were 25 feet or so away at the closest point, nice residential area... I was treated to this humiliation 3 times on the walk as they thought it was so fun they came back for more. My son was equal parts embarassed and protective of me.

    It's sad that even when you try to do the right things, to lose the weight and get the exercise, you're mocked simply for being. Part of me is sad that it happened, but the other part is somewhat glad. My child learned a very tough lesson in empathy and I know that he would never do something like this to someone else. I am so proud of him!

    I'm sorry that happened..and you are right, it's very sad that you were mocked by 'being'. I can relate to the feeling. There are people like that in this world, and for your son to see what people are like when they are mean..and what it does to others, is an excellent lesson that he will remember throughout life.....congrats to you, for raising a boy who can/will do the right thing... :flowerforyou:
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
    I cannot believe that things like this actually happen. I am sorry to have than happen adn i am glad you are not treating it as a pity party adn ruin your success you have so far. You are stronger for it. And what comes around goes around. Idiots. You are beautiful and strong and what a great mom you are for being able to teach him life lessons. Very proud from one mom to another
  • rrrbecca11
    rrrbecca11 Posts: 477
    Somebody's parents have dropped the ball big time on teaching their kids to respect other people. No surprise there, unfortunately. Keep up your good work, you will be rewarded.
  • ShaSimone
    ShaSimone Posts: 270 Member
    Keep walking tall lady because you have class and are raising a young man to have class and treat others with dignity and respect. Not sure that can be said for those unkind individuals in the truck that decided to harass you. Keep on your journey to health and wellness and leave the losers behind.
  • sebbysmommy
    sebbysmommy Posts: 63 Member
    I would have written down the license plate number and called the local police department to report their harassing behavior especially after their second round through. I then would have LOVED to have gone to the drivers house and had a LOOOONG talk with their parents.

    I am sorry you were in that situation and I can only imagine what it must have been like for you. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
  • booklover942
    booklover942 Posts: 9
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.

    This is the best reply I know! Keep up the good work and it sounds like you are raising a great kid! Kudos to him too!
  • slparsaca
    slparsaca Posts: 59 Member
    I know that feeling. Last fall I was in the grocery store and had to bend over to get something off a lower shelf. As I did this a few high school boys walked by and Moo'd. I was so embarrassed and angry. And yet, when I was at 110 pounds I would still get crude comments from stupid people so....like the others said stupid people will always be around, just know that you have great worth no matter how much you weigh! Most of the stupid comes from empty souls anyway.
  • mama2shi
    mama2shi Posts: 300 Member
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.

    ^^ Took the words out of my mouth!!

    If this is what makes them feel better about themselves, they are in for a miserable life! Just know the best revenge is living well. Stick with it and screw them and any other judgemental *kitten* out there.
  • erh12275
    erh12275 Posts: 40 Member
    The day I decided I had had enough of being fat I was in the hospital. I had just moved from ICU to a regular floor and needed a potty chair as I couldn't get to the bathroom. I barely fit on the one they brought. I heard one nurse ask the other one why she brought that one and her reply was..."I didn't know she was a whale."

    The next time I heard something like this was the day I joined the gym. I had called and made the appointment with a trainer. I was on my way to pick up my girls and I sneezed turning a corner. When I did, I veered into the other lane. Of course there was a guy there and he started cussing me and called me a fat *kitten*. Now if I had been thin I would have been a stupid b but because I was fat of course the uneducated idiot equated my being fat to why I couldn't drive. It just fueled me more to want to get the weight off.

    I use idiots like these 2 to make it a few more mins on the eliptical.

    Sorry your kid had to hear it...but, it really is how the real world is. Some people just are just stoooopid. BTW...in both cases the people calling me fat were large.
  • katythemommy
    katythemommy Posts: 437 Member
    Talk about finding the silver lining. Your attitude is absolutely incredible. What an amazing person you are!

    Agreed! I probably would of ran off crying!
  • madyncaden
    madyncaden Posts: 290 Member
    first off i am sorry that you had to deal with this especially with your son! I am at my desk tearing up reading it, mainly because of your reaction! you decided to turn this intoa life lesson for your son and teach him how to be a loving "decent" humanbeing. I think it took much courage and self control to think of this situation in this manner! i also want to congratulate you on the 20 pound loss!! that is amazing! friend me if you'd like :) keep on keepin on!!
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    Too bad for them, I have ran into some individuals in my youth who were fit and would do similar things, I was overweigt and school and most of my life after the military. Now when I run into them I can just think back and look at them and smile. Also their is this woman I see walking pretty much everytime i go running she is a overweight elderly woman and when I see her I think good for you for trying to do something positive for yourself.
  • kealey1318
    kealey1318 Posts: 290 Member
    The day I decided I had had enough of being fat I was in the hospital. I had just moved from ICU to a regular floor and needed a potty chair as I couldn't get to the bathroom. I barely fit on the one they brought. I heard one nurse ask the other one why she brought that one and her reply was..."I didn't know she was a whale."

    The next time I heard something like this was the day I joined the gym. I had called and made the appointment with a trainer. I was on my way to pick up my girls and I sneezed turning a corner. When I did, I veered into the other lane. Of course there was a guy there and he started cussing me and called me a fat *kitten*. Now if I had been thin I would have been a stupid b but because I was fat of course the uneducated idiot equated my being fat to why I couldn't drive. It just fueled me more to want to get the weight off.

    I use idiots like these 2 to make it a few more mins on the eliptical.

    Sorry your kid had to hear it...but, it really is how the real world is. Some people just are just stoooopid. BTW...in both cases the people calling me fat were large.

    I'm sorry to hear that you have relateable experiences... I usually pretend they don't happen, but for some reason, I just felt it was important to share. I mentioned it to my husband last night and he was shocked. He's been thin/athletic his whole life, so he really has very little empathy. It was an eye opener to him. I agree that these situations do help to add fuel to the fire and make us push a little harder!

    Best wishes to everyone on their journey, no matter where it takes you!
  • 714rah714
    714rah714 Posts: 759 Member
    Do not let the *kitten* win, keep on doing, what your doing.
  • ttaylor68913
    ttaylor68913 Posts: 320 Member
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.

    ***LIKE****
  • bikelover1959
    bikelover1959 Posts: 18
    just ignore them, you are a better person than them. its sad that your son had to see this but as others have said there will always be nasty people in this world, we just have to rise above them. good luck in your weight loss journey you are doing well and your son must be very proud of you and you of him
    ann
  • bhalter
    bhalter Posts: 582 Member
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.

    This.

    So sorry you had to do that, but you must be so proud of your son for wanting to protect you in that.

    That's why I don't like working out outside. Sad that has to be, but it's horrible that people want to make fun of overweight people outside being active or at the gym when they are obviously trying to change and improve themselves.
  • Jme2012
    Jme2012 Posts: 106 Member
    Unfortuantley, there will always be ignorant people in the world. Hopefully your son learned that lastnight.
  • Jessicak02
    Jessicak02 Posts: 11 Member
    Don't let them bring you down. Your son may have been subjected to their cruel behavior but he now knows what it feels like and I can bet he won't humilate anyone like that. You're doing the best thing for you and your son!

    I'd walk the same way everyday and make those *kitten* see that they can't deter you from reaching your goals.

    So sorry they treated you that way, I worry about what this world is coming to, people are not kind to one another at all. It literally makes me sick.
  • lisaontiveros13
    lisaontiveros13 Posts: 15 Member
    Here's a quote to remember: "Don't try to win over your haters. You are not the Jacka$$ Whisperer."
  • peaceinside
    peaceinside Posts: 272
    You can lose weight. But they'll still be *kitten*. Keep up the good work.
    Ditto That ^^^^ I know what you went thru, have experienced it my entire life even by family members. Damage is deep and what I work on daily to overcome. You son is blessed to have you teach him such beautiful life lessons.
    Peace! :flowerforyou:
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