Overweight people putting me down
kayleesays
Posts: 564 Member
So, I've notice something more and more lately. As I lose more weight, if I even mention that I've started to exercise or eat healthy or make a healthy food choice around them (especially while at work), it seems overweight women really have a problem with me. They'll start a conversation like, "yeah, I tried a diet once, then I realized I actually wanted to live my life with freedom" or my favorite, "you don't need to do that". It always starts with, "why are you eating Lean Cuisine?" "Why are you eating a salad?"
The best so far was when we were talking about past jobs. I mentioned that when I was 15, I worked at an ice cream shop and put on fifteen pounds in one summer. One of my overweight coworkers looked at me, scoffed and said, "yeah, you could use it."
I'm not a thin person by any means. I'm pretty average. I'm irritated by the looks I get every time I go to lunch and scan things into MFP on my phone. I mean, I'm a big girl and handle it just fine, but I think it's amusing that they feel the need to justify themselves by talking down to me.
/endrant
The best so far was when we were talking about past jobs. I mentioned that when I was 15, I worked at an ice cream shop and put on fifteen pounds in one summer. One of my overweight coworkers looked at me, scoffed and said, "yeah, you could use it."
I'm not a thin person by any means. I'm pretty average. I'm irritated by the looks I get every time I go to lunch and scan things into MFP on my phone. I mean, I'm a big girl and handle it just fine, but I think it's amusing that they feel the need to justify themselves by talking down to me.
/endrant
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Replies
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I think this is all jealousy. They see that you are living a healthy lifestyle, and you are even more fit than them. They know they should be doing what you are doing, but they don't have the willpower, so they make their excuses like "I want to live my life in freedom". Please, being trapped under loads of extra fat is hardly free. Just ignore them and know that you have chosen to live a healthy lifestyle, which means everything. Good luck!0
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It's sad that others have to make themselves feel better by tearing someone else down. Don't let them get to you. Just do your thang and ignore them! Haterz gonna hate!
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its certainly an envy issue with these specific women. they just need to get off their butts and man up! maybe take the opprotunity to get them excited about a healthy lifestyle and get them on MFP;)0
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It's really irritating when people can't ust be happy and supportive of you.
I always get the "You'll blow away in the wind" Really? Have you seen my thighs? I'm anchored down!
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Haters gonna hate! I get told the same thing all the time @ work. My doctor even once asked me if I was anoxeric and he proceeded to ask me if I threw up after I ate. He kept questioning me. ****ing *kitten*!0
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A friend said to me today that I don't want to get too skinny. If I have a health problem, fat will protect me. My response was muscle will protect me better than fat. Funny all of it really, people's reactions.0
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^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^I think this is all jealousy. They see that you are living a healthy lifestyle, and you are even more fit than them. They know they should be doing what you are doing, but they don't have the willpower, so they make their excuses like "I want to live my life in freedom". Please, being trapped under loads of extra fat is hardly free. Just ignore them and know that you have chosen to live a healthy lifestyle, which means everything. Good luck!0 -
There is a difference between large women who are confident and comfortable with themselves and women who are bigger and just hate anyone trying to change from being big. I encourage people who are trying to lose weight and love seeing people succeed. I want to get there one day myself! The only time I would ever speak badly is if they were trying some extreme diet or legal speed diet pills/hcg diet etc. and only because it's not safe.
I think this is just jealousy and hopefully you can move past letting them get to you because it is SO not worth letting their self hating jealousy make you feel bad for being successful and working hard. I am lucky I do not have this problem though! Everyone encourages me and anyone who gets jealous, which is rare, is just not a true friend! 0 -
My favorite is, "Why do you bother to exercise, you are so skinny!" I've been getting that one ever since I was a size 14.
I honestly believe that people who are unwilling and definitely not ready to commit to a healthy lifestyle would just prefer it if everyone else took their lazy unmotivated strategies of life and applied them as well. Perhaps it makes them feel better about themselves when they see that they are not the only ones who haven't committed to being healthy. But whatever it is, just ignore them and remember that you are doing this for you, and that you are the one that is going to be happier and healthier in the end. You may even motivate someone else to start eating better or moving more!0 -
Fit bashing is the latest form of bullying. I'm sorry they're being rude and not taking into account that if you were to start tellin' them how fat they were how they would feel.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I hear you. I had 2 people at work this week accuse me of being anorexic, and another today came up and said my bones were starting to show through my clothes. I'm 5'4" and 135lbs - come on all ready!0
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Someone once said, others try to extinguish your flame to make theirs burn brighter.
Unless you are waving you diet under their noses & asking why they are having a super sized meal then Id just start subtley confronting them everytime they make a put down & either when they ask why you are eating XXX go, 'because I want to be heathy' or 'why not, why are you having XX for lunch??" & throw it back at them. Or really put on your big girl knickers & ask why what you eat concerns them so much or why they feel the need to make snarky comments about it.
probably insecurity/jealousy that you are doing something to make yourself feel good but who knows, we girls can be complex creatures!0 -
The truth is, you remind them of every failed attempt, everytime they have started and stopped. The fact that they are not happy and you are closer to being what they desire. They have to justify why it didn't work for them so they ridicule you. I know because I speak from my own experiences. It's hard to watch someone accomplish something that you dreamed of.
Don't let it get you down and stop your progress. You may be the very one that sparks the desire in them to finally make that change. You maybe a role model.
I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying that some times that's just how people act.
Keep up your good work.0 -
People don't like to be faced with walking, talking reminders of their own failures. They know they should be taking care of themselves but they aren't doing it, so they try to make you feel as bad as they do.
I remember someone else I know getting annoyed about this. She was never really overweight but she's been working out and looks great and is in great shape. She said people at her work always give her a hard time when she passes on cookies or whatever, remarking on how she doesn't need to worry about it, she's so thin, etc. She said she finally snapped and said "Yeah, and how do you think I got this way? I eat healthy and I work out, and I don't eat EVERY cookie that passes in front of me, so I can eat things like that when I really want to without worrying about it!" I think they stopped saying that stuff after that. 0 -
They are self focused. They think if you think you need to lose weight, you must think they are huge. They judge you because they have decided you must be judging them, even though it ISN'T all about them.
I used to think like that myself. Then, to make a long story short, my good friend was diagnosed with hardening of the arteries on the brain. She is about 50. Too young for this. She has to exercise 90 minutes every day to keep from having a stroke. (We often go to the gym together.) She doesn't look to me like she needs to lose weight, but when she says now she needs to get some of the weight off her hips or arms, I say "whatever motivates you to do what you need to do in order to be healthy." I should have supported friends like that before, whether they were diagnosed with something or not. "Whatever motivates you to be healthy" should be encouraged whether the friend has a condition or not. Good health is more than just a lack of conditions...
Anyway, I'm not going to kick myself in the @$$ for having been selfish. First of all, I'm not that flexible yet. :laugh: Second of all, my friend's situation has taught me that it isn't all about me. Sadly, I know of no way to share my newfound epiphany with others like me.
Best wishes on your healthy lifestyle.0 -
Overweight people who want to lose weight are just like bullies that want to be liked. They pick on and put down people to make themselves feel "okay" You just keep on your path. Eating healthy and excercising and being within your normal weight beats being overweight and unhealthy any day. I am a nurse and it kills me to be walking into work behind coworkers and they are huffing and puffing because they are so oveweight....and then they are suppose to tell their patients to lose weight and eat healthy. You keep on your path....you never know some of them may follow your example.0
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I get a lot of comments, especially from co-workers. I don't look at anything as a "put down", but more as a "they just don't get it". Most people are very nice and tell me I look great, and though I appreciate the compliments, sometimes I wish they could just say something else. I especially have to remember my "they just don't get it" motto when they say things like "you don't need to lose any more" (I'm about a pound away from leaving the obese BMI category) or "you're going to blow away if you lose any more". The one thing I hate? When they ask "How much have you lost?". If I want to share, I'll share...but to me, that would be like walking up to any woman and saying "so, how much do you weigh?". My stock answer "I've lost a good bit, but I still have some work to do".
Oh, and worse than any comment about my looks? When they analyze/stare at my food in the break room. I have one woman who likes to say "OMG, you're eating bread!". Now I just say "Yup!" but what I want to say is "I've ALWAYS eaten bread...I just used to eat too much of it!".0 -
Well it sounds like they are jealous of your hard work. How about you have 12 super hot pictures taken and have them made into a calendar for 2013. Give one to each of them for Christmas and sign it " Day after day, I just get hotter and hotter." That should shut em' up!0
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I have several supportive co-workers. Just about everyone at my work is on some sort of a diet. There are a few that are NOT supportive at all; those are actually the skinnier ones at my work.
There is one chick that is doing Isagenix. She's actually not overweight, and a regular exercise program would benefit her far more than a diet will. That's my opinion though, and since she doesn't like me, I won't bother telling her.
There are several comments towards me and the other healthy eaters re: how well our "diets" are working. Well, I've lost 10 pounds in the last 30 days, I'm down a clothing size, and she's stuck at about 5 pounds. She's also been a lot crankier lately.
Ironically, I work in health care. You'd think there would be a lot more support.0 -
Haters gonna hate :glasses:
Keep up the good work!0 -
There is a difference between large women who are confident and comfortable with themselves and women who are bigger and just hate anyone trying to change from being big. I encourage people who are trying to lose weight and love seeing people succeed. I want to get there one day myself! The only time I would ever speak badly is if they were trying some extreme diet or legal speed diet pills/hcg diet etc. and only because it's not safe.
I think this is just jealousy and hopefully you can move past letting them get to you because it is SO not worth letting their self hating jealousy make you feel bad for being successful and working hard. I am lucky I do not have this problem though! Everyone encourages me and anyone who gets jealous, which is rare, is just not a true friend!
^^^^^THIS! Great advice! Just keep doing what you are doing, don't let anyone get you down!0 -
Sounds like what I went through as I lost weight. It seemed like the people who should have supported me the most? Well, those were the ones who turned on me. Commenting about my food ("Oh, don't buy Brandee candy - she only eats bark and grass!"), commenting on how often I went to the gym back then ("Don't invite Brandee to go out with us after work, she has to go to the GYM") and of course just outright snide comments.
I still occasionally get comments like "You're too thin" (I'm not) or "You should gain some weight back" (Not gonna happen, sorry) or the occasional comment about my food choices because I don't partake in all the stuff they have in the break room (cookies, donuts, bagels, pizza, etc).
I truly believe it is jealousy. When other people see someone be successful with weight loss, I often think it points out their inability to lose. I also think it makes them more aware of the poor choices they make, but doesn't always encourage them to change. Sometimes, it comes out as nastiness.0 -
People don't like to be faced with walking, talking reminders of their own failures. They know they should be taking care of themselves but they aren't doing it, so they try to make you feel as bad as they do.
I remember someone else I know getting annoyed about this. She was never really overweight but she's been working out and looks great and is in great shape. She said people at her work always give her a hard time when she passes on cookies or whatever, remarking on how she doesn't need to worry about it, she's so thin, etc. She said she finally snapped and said "Yeah, and how do you think I got this way? I eat healthy and I work out, and I don't eat EVERY cookie that passes in front of me, so I can eat things like that when I really want to without worrying about it!" I think they stopped saying that stuff after that.
I really like this! We have a LOT of food at work. Next week there is a pot luck, I have a community breakfast I'm supposed to attend next week, chili cook offs, people bringing in there kids' school fundraisers, etc. Tomorrow I have a coworker who wants to buy pizza for everyone. I told her I would pass, I think I offended her. However, I have a planned Chinese food dinner with my husband, thus I'm passing on the pizza. I don't feel like I should be obligated to participate in every single thing like this because it's just ridiculous how often it happens. Pts. frequently bring in thank you chocolates, cookies, etc. I've had the "will power" comments.
Thing is, I don't really feel like it's a will power issue, I feel it's just a choice. I also DO eat a small piece of chocolate almost every day.0 -
It's the crab syndrome....if you put one crab in a pot, you have to put a lid on it. If you put two in the pot, you can leave the lid off. As soon as one tries to climb out the other will pull it back in.
While we are not working our goals, we're in the pot with the other crabs. Once we start working on our goals, we try to climb out - the other crabs cannot do anything other than try to pull you back in. Oh, sure - they try to use nice phrases like, "Oh you don't need to - you look fine", but what they're really doing is pulling you back in. Climb out and then try to pull them out. Once they see your freedom on the outside, having reached your goal, they might try to climb out. The others will try to pull them back, just like they did to you. Be there with a supporting arm to pull them out and reach their goals!!
In any case, remember - you're working toward you goal - be excited and go for it!0 -
Seeing you watch your weight probably just makes people reflect on their own bodies. They're insecure and probably feel like they have to justify eating that cheeseburger while you are eating a salad. Even though you aren't telling them to eat differently, they probably feel like you eating a salad is a statement. I'd just smile and offer to share your healthy lunch.0
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Well it sounds like they are jealous of your hard work. How about you have 12 super hot pictures taken and have them made into a calendar for 2013. Give one to each of them for Christmas and sign it " Day after day, I just get hotter and hotter." That should shut em' up!
^^^^LOVE this!!! :laugh:0 -
It's times like this that we all need to be reminded of that wonderful advice given to us by that famous Doctor.
"B-tches ain't sh-t but hoes and tricks" -Dr. Dre.0 -
if a overweight person ever try's to put me down.. and talk trash about why i am calculating everything. I usually just say because i don't want to look like you.
its mean.. but they should mind their own business. i don't go around judging other peoples daily life..0 -
Misery loves company.0
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haterz gone hate.
ive also got this as well and i'm nowhere near where i want to be, but my weight loss so far is noticeable. the people i've gotten attitude from are from people who HATE the fact that i'm pretty much effortlessly losing weight (at least to them). mind you these are people who will try any crazy diet for quick weight loss and will try going to the gym for 4 hours a day. of course they can only keep this up for a week before they get burned out, and they slip back into old habits.
in the meantime i've only reduced my calories by approx 600 calories, i'm only at the gym 1 hour a day 6 days a week and i still pretty much eat whatever i want, i just watch the portions.
fast forward 3 months and they have been working crazy hard doing all the wrong things to not lose anything (1 has even gained) whereas I have essentially been lounging poolside sipping a mai tai and have lost 20 pounds and almost 2 pant sizes. i guess i'd be bitter too if the tables were reversed :laugh:
one of the most annoying things that i've heard "aren't you supposed to be on a diet?" when i eat anything that isnt a salad or a piece of fruit. it's like no matter what, these people don't quite get losing weight isn't about being on some insane diet.
anyway, don't let it get you down. you never know you might end up being an inspiration to one of the haters
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