smaller looking women who weigh more than me?!?!?!?!

we're a LOT harder on our own bodies than we are on other people - I doubt they look quite as much better as you think they do in your head.

But also some of it is just plain bonestructure - I'm heavy as snapdoozle, I look firmer than women who weigh 10 lbs less than I do. Some of its muscle (yay) but a lot of it is just plain.... HEAVY. I don't really know what it is. I'm really super heavy. I have friends close to my height that weigh 40 lbs less than I do and look great, if I weight that much I'd be in the hospital.

It's so crazy isn't it, someone had posted a link to an image gallery of real women and all I could think was how can they have a flat stomach and look fantastic in a bikini and I can't?! But then I got my boyfriend to take a pic of me and suddenly thought maybe I'm not as big as I think I am.

It's hard being female

Hard exercise! At least that's what keeps me tight. Insanity, P90X, spinning, weightlifting, running, 6 times a week!

Yep I struggle with this too...but it's because I'm short (4'11). Me being at 130lbs looks completely different then most of my friends! Even when I was at 115lbs I was still rocking a size 8 because of these hips. Gotta love genes!!!!

I think a lot of it comes down to lean body mass. Think of it like this - a pound of muscle is like the size of an orange, a pound of fat is like a grapefruit. Put 50 of them in a bag, which one will look smaller? And yet they still weigh the same.

As others have pointed out, part of it may be differences in height (which is obviously an important factor), but also in bone structure. You can't really do anything about either of these. The thing you can change is how much muscle you have relative to fat, which makes a huge different in how you look. There is a commonly posted picture around here, of a woman who gained a little weight building muscle, but looks a lot tighter/firmer, because it's muscle and not fat. So adding strength building to your fitness routine may be the key to getting the body you want. Also, the other thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to others so much. You don't have someone else's body, you have yours, so work on it.

Also, the other thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to others so much. You don't have someone else's body, you have yours, so work on it.

And This!!!

My friend has a little belly and no muscle and she weighs like 10lbs less than me. We are the same size, same frame, same pant size but I weigh more. I just have alot less fat... and more booty

I'm the same size at 130 as I was more than 10 years ago at 120, and it's not luck, it's muscle.

When I weighed 120 back then, a large part of it was because I had a jaw problem and couldn't eat normally, so I was kind of malnourished and had a higher body fat percentage and less lean muscle. Now at 130 pounds, I exercise regularly and pay attention to my nutrients, so I have a lot more muscle.

On the other hand, about 5 years ago, I lost weight by going low calorie for too long, and I was a lot bigger at 130 pounds then than I am at 130 now.

Muscle is what makes the difference, not luck.

If you haven't read this before, learn about Staci:
http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

Lean mass. Bone (I have a heavy frame) and muscle are more dense than fat, so a person with a heavy frame or lots of muscle will be smaller at the same weight. You can't do much about your skeletal structure, but you can add muscle.

There's a term "skinny fat" to describe people who are light in weight but still have a pretty high body fat percentage because they have no muscle.

I find this really weird too.! I've been doing so much research on body fat % and I found that I have 26.3% body fat but I weigh 193 lbs.. I've always carried my weight well but it always discouraged me that I was that much while others were like 120 and lower. But now I understand it's all about lean body mass and body fat %. I don't know how I have all that lean body mass though.

Add me to the "Gee, you weigh THAT much?" camp. I guess that's good that I don't look as heavy as I am! For me the proof was going from 130 to 140 from lifting weights, but still fitting into all of my clothes.

Now at 154, I am NOT fitting into all of my clothes at the moment, but that's another story. Working to get back down to the 140s.

I am firmly in that camp. I weigh about 9 stone and people are always horrified if I tell them.

Well, I say keep working at it. I could have given up...I guess I did a little after my 6th baby. Stretch marks, loose tummy skin, wider hips (5 boys hips never spread, last child girl....my hip bones got wider!!) And 39 when she was born too.

I was frustrated and just thought...this is it. Then last year, I said NO. I have always been fit and thin.

Joined gym...blah blah blah. Lost weight and looked good. But what about this dang tummy skin. I am now eating leaner, trying to lose fat but not my muscles...and i can see a difference. I am in no way going to look as good as you young chicks....but I was determined to not let the fact that I am a 41 year old mom of 6 let my body go to pot!

Stay to it girls...just because our bodies change from having babies, does not mean that our bodies are destroyed...we can work hard to get it the best that it can be.

And., i do have the stretch marks and when I bend over, I get that little tummy skin...but it loks a lot better than it did Jan 1, 2012!!!

One more thing....I am wearing the same size at 130lbs (now) as when I was 30 years old and weighed 115!!

As others have pointed out, part of it may be differences in height (which is obviously an important factor), but also in bone structure. You can't really do anything about either of these. The thing you can change is how much muscle you have relative to fat, which makes a huge different in how you look. There is a commonly posted picture around here, of a woman who gained a little weight building muscle, but looks a lot tighter/firmer, because it's muscle and not fat. So adding strength building to your fitness routine may be the key to getting the body you want. Also, the other thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to others so much. You don't have someone else's body, you have yours, so work on it.

I love the last line about stopping comparing yourself to others. "You don't have someone else's body, you have yours, so work on it." We all would be better off if we could focus more on doing things for the benefit of our health and not caring so much about what others think.