Please help! I've been gone a long time. Long post, but I ne

Idk how valuable my advice will be since I'm practically in the same boat as you but here goes:

Make sure you have a solid support system at home. You said your wife is really supportive so tell her how important this is to you and see if she's willing to help you stay on track if she sees you slipping.

Make some good friends on MFP and see if you can team up with a buddy you have to "check in" with each week. If you're comfortable with it, give them your email address so they can shoot you a message if you miss a check in.

Use rewards! For short term and long term. One thing I'm starting next month is a rewards challenge. You give yourself points for doing things you should be doing anyway, like tracking or exercising, and at the end of each day, those points convert to money you put in a piggy bank or jar. At the end of the month, you'll use that money to buy yourself a reward

Keep "goal clothes" somewhere visible and plan to try them on each week. Once you fit into them, get new ones.



Hope these help! And feel free to add me!

I think it is great that you are back and ready for a change. I had 4+ really unhealthy years and was feeling so terrible that I truly thought I was going to die. After so many tests came back negative, I thought sure I had pulmonary hypertension because I had all of the symptoms. I did not want my kids to lose their mom and I was terrified. Turns out I had a heart defect that was able to be fixed, but I still don't know what the future holds and ultimately my lifespan may be shortened because of it. So far so good but I want to get as healthy as possible to swing the odds in my favor.

I've only been here for a short time, but I'm a goal person. I need to have little goals in my head to keep me going. Some days I just have to make myself workout, even if it is 9pm (like tonight) and I'm beat from keeping the house and running after the kids and doing a billion other things.

Measuring food sucks. I hate it and I don't think I will do it forever, but for now it is necessary until exercise and healthy eating becomes second nature, which I think just takes time. I have to make this lifestyle a habit.

Put away all of those times that you "failed" and take that word out of your vocabulary. The past is the past and all that matters is today and beyond.

Maybe if would help if you made a schedule of workouts and put it on the fridge or on the bathroom mirror. Somewhere you will see it often throughout the day, or schedule it on your phone. I saw your other post about migraines, but if you have time set aside to do a particular workout and can't because of a migraine, maybe do some yoga or go for a walk instead. I know it is hard with a young child, but I do a lot of my exercise after the kids go to bed. It does take time away from my husband, but it makes me a happier person so he doesn't mind me disappearing for an hour or two.

Also, plan meals. It is harder for me to choose healthier foods for myself and our family when we don't have a meal plan. Standing at the fridge/pantry trying to decide what we should eat for dinner in an hour is not a good thing, because we often resort to the quick and easy crap foods.

It might also be a good idea to actually schedule a rest day every week. And maybe pick a night that you have a special treat, maybe on a date night or movie night. DH and I like to each get a small DQ Blizzard every now and then.

I think each of us had to find what works for us when it comes to sticking with something. I quit smoking about 9 years ago and in all honesty I think about smoking every single day and I want a cigarette every single day. My initial motivation was that I wanted to start dating again and didn't want to smell like an ashtray. My motivation now is my children. I could very easily walk into a gas station and pick up a carton and go right back to being a 2 pack a day smoker but when I look at those little faces, I know that I need to set a good example for them and their health and my health are a top priority because it is no longer just about me.

When it comes to food and weight, I have a short term goal of running a half marathon next year and that keeps me motivated. I will probably always set short term goals because that's me. But, long term is to be around to see my kids grow and their kids grow and to enjoy many, many years with my husband.

Sorry it took me so long to post. I've been tending to the kids off and on. We had a full day and unfortunately they don't sleep so well when they are over tired.

I agree with what the ladies above me said. One thing I will add is Omega 3's. My Triglicerides (sp) were almost 255. Talk about panic. I started on Omega 3's and they are now down below 100. I get them at Costco. Sams has them too. There not expensive there. The Kirkland brand is what I take and I take 3 a day. I swear by them. Give them a try. Then can't hurt.

Good luck on your journey. I have confidence that because you are back here that you are going to make it this time and make it for life and not just a diet.

God Bless your success.

P.S. Do NOT try and do it all right away. No need to exercise more than a few times a week for awhile. And don't cut ur cals too much. If u start off hot and heavy, there's more of a chance of burnout. Expect it to take a long time. If u do it right, it will.
Also, when I want to quit, I think to myself, "i refuse to start all over again!" That's where my anger, hence, determination kicks into high gear
And, my mfp pals save me all the time! I'm not afraid to whine, lol.

ok so from my understanding you have the dedication and the thought of reaching your goal you just don't want to put effort and will into making it happen. because you failed so many times you think that's it, god made you like that so you have to live with it and suffer, well if you have that mentality i guarantee you will never succeed in reaching your goal. im willing to give you all of my knowledge into helping you out because you seem like a nice man and your dedicated. now what comes from failure?... success agreed? alright so just because you failed a few times why should you stop? now if you ever were to stop doing what ever it is you were doing into reaching your goal just think of why you started in the first place and that will put you right back on track. you said you want to do it for you health but mostly for your familys own good so just think of that as a motivation to keep you going. what is it that your failing at. is it keeping up with your diet? eating habits? exercise?

Try cognitive behavioral therapy. Establishing goals and tracking your behaviors are key steps before you can change your behaviors and reach your goals. Good luck!

Another idea: set a monthly reminder on your phone saying something like "Do it for <daughters name>"

Im trying to help you because I can identify with the falling off the wagon part ...Please add me if you like~
Try posting photos of your mom and things you want to do when you arrive at your desired weight Like a Visual Board with photos of people place, things etc etc.
Also when I have a craving it helps to wait it out sometimes...like dont act on it wait wait, sometimes it goes away, that little mental craving trigger ...that is all it is a trigger not real hunger...Drink plenty of water or eat a fruit or some crackers, simple but it works most of the times...

As someone who has fallen off the wagon twice and got back on it, I can tell you the ONLY thing you need is desire. You have to want it when you don't have it and want it when you do have it more than you want the bad food. You have to want it more than you want to sit at home instead of hitting your workouts. You have to want it more than you want to be lazy. That's the bottom line. That's what keeps you there and gets you there.

My husband could write a lot of what you have, like you he will lose and then gain it back and so forth, however each time he starts a diet again I tell him that the fact that he keeps on trying. That is exactly what I would tell you, you are trying so hard and the fact that you keep on starting again shows your determination which is a fantastic thing to have. Be proud of yourself for not giving up, and if you have a day where you think you have blown your diet remember the next day is a new day so start again. I agree with everyone else that, its about looking at your whole life,sometimes its not just a case of wanting to be healthy, there are often other factors in our lives that make us gain that weight back. Your wife and daughter are lucky to have you being so determined to do it, I really hope that you succeed in keeping it off, let the past go and all the times you've gained again,look towards the future where you lose and it stays off for good this time.

hi all this is the first time ive looked at the community section of mfp only started it 4 days ago and must say the advice and help offered to this chap is motivational.i have a family meal im going to tomorrow where i know its gonna take me well over my allowance and was feeling down about it not wanting to be a drag with rest of family by saying cant have that watching what im eating. after reading the above posts ive decided on limiting the damage and just writing day off then start strong the following day and do extra excercise. will definitely join in on this community page.

bump

I'm not sure that I can offer a lot more than anyone else, but I can tell you what has worked for me if it's any help. I too have tried and lost weight many times before, only to stop and gain it back again, I can't really say what it is that has clicked for me this time, but I have definitely stuck with it better than I have done ever before.

- Don't look at the big picture, focus on tiny goals, so that you are constantly achieving, for example each 5lbs lost, and extra 5 mins exercise, a bit further run, whatever it is that you do, look to be constantly bettering yourself, but not by loads, just a little bit at a time, so that you don't set yourself up to fail, but instead feel like you have constantly achieved something.

- Keep an item of clothing that is too small, try it on once a week, so that you can see the changes in your body, even when the scale doesn't reflect it. Some people like to take measurements, although I never have, it might work for you.

- Plan ahead, at least on a daily basis, although I pretty much plan my week in advance. I fill in my diary first thing in the morning, so that I can see if there's room for that biscuit or whatever when I want a snack.

- When you do blow it, as we all inevitably do, that doesn't mean the whole day is gone, just because you have over eaten at one meal, or snacked on something, doesn't mean that you should just write the day off & carry on eating crap, just get back on it as soon as you can.

- Find foods that you like, that fit in with your plan. There is no point trying to eat things that you don't like just because they are good for you.

- Don't panic about things you can't control. If you are going out for a meal or whatever, try and make a better choice than you might have previously, but don't order something that you don't like, you will just make yourself miserable. Enjoy the good times, every now and then wont do you any harm.

Hope that some of that helps, good luck with it all.

I think everyone gave some really awesome advice/suggestions. So I'm just going to wish you good luck and tell you that I will be cheering you on.

Just a few things to say, I haven't managed to read everyone else's responses.
First thing to do is forget about previous times you have fallen off the wagon. There's no point hanging on to the negativity. I'm a great believe in positive mental attitude!
And the other important thing so to realise this is a lifestyle change, not a short term change. Focus, and you'll soon start to find that the healthier choice is what you are picking as second nature. And you know what, if you have a penchant for cheesecake (like me, haha) then don't deny yourself it. .Moderation is everything. You're not gonna never have chocolate ever again for your whole life, so the odd chunk shouldn't throw your day off.

In terms of exercise, find something you actually enjoy and then its not a chore and it makes you feel awesome. Push yourself, certainly, but don't burn yourself out by hitting it too hard, too fast.

I hope you start to believe in yourself soon, you can and will do it. Feel free to add me, I'm always happy to help!