I'm sorry I just need to rant...

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  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I will say that although my dad was never as direct as your mom, he was horrible to me as a child and an adult. He is manipulative, narcissistic, and unsupportive of nearly everything I ever did.

    He's also a compulsive liar, and I spent way too many years of my life trying to "fix" things between us.

    As hard as it is, sometimes you have to cut people out of your life and be selfish, even your own parents, when they become abusive, manipulative, and cause you pain. I still love my dad despite it all. I wish him happiness and a good life, but he's toxic to me. If he ever wants to stop being so narcissistic and be a positive person in my life, he is welcome to do that, and my door remains open.

    It's hard, especially on holidays and such, but I am doing so much better without him around.

    I'm not saying you SHOULD do this, because it's a very personal and very complicated thing to do, but it's worth considering.

    As for being able to move, find a way. Work extra hours, find a roommate, make it happen. Make it a priority. Once you're out on your own, you'll blossom into an incredible and successful person.
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    I read this recently on a wise young woman's profile:
    "Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, you go get it!!"

    One great thing about growing up is that you get to decide who is in your life and who is not.

    So true and I never said I was giving up on my dreams cos of her it just pisses me off.

    The only probem is that I cannot afford to move out right now or else I would. I have moved out once before but due to circumstances had to move back. >.<

    I am in the same position nearly, apart from my parents aren't so bad, they just don't seem really bothered by anything I do at all. I'm also training to be a certified personal trainer and am 3/4 of the way through the level 2 gym instructor course.

    I also live back at home because of circumstances and would give anything to be back in my old house on my own again.

    Feel free to friend me if you like. Either way keep hold of your dreams and follow them, you pave the way for your own future and you don't want to be full of what ifs and if onlys :heart:
  • PlasticPsycho
    PlasticPsycho Posts: 111
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    You definitely should get outta there...

    Your mum seems like she has some mental problems going on herself.
    It's not the first time I've seem somebody suffer under the selfishness of a parent.

    You said you had depessions ~ I would bet she played a huge role in that.
    You just need to get out of her house. She isn't the mother she should be, and that's sad, but it's now up to you to leave her behind.
    For the sake of your health and sanity.

    I'm just really worried.
    My best friend was in a comparable situation and I just don't like to remember how miserable she felt...
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    I read this recently on a wise young woman's profile:
    "Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, you go get it!!"

    One great thing about growing up is that you get to decide who is in your life and who is not.

    So true and I never said I was giving up on my dreams cos of her it just pisses me off.

    The only probem is that I cannot afford to move out right now or else I would. I have moved out once before but due to circumstances had to move back. >.<

    I am in the same position nearly, apart from my parents aren't so bad, they just don't seem really bothered by anything I do at all. I'm also training to be a certified personal trainer and am 3/4 of the way through the level 2 gym instructor course.

    I also live back at home because of circumstances and would give anything to be back in my old house on my own again.

    Feel free to friend me if you like. Either way keep hold of your dreams and follow them, you pave the way for your own future and you don't want to be full of what ifs and if onlys :heart:

    Hey, I tried adding you but it wouldn't work because of a maintenance error. :/ Is it ok if you add me?
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    well hey ya know just anyone can have kids and that doesn't make them parents. I'm so sorry that this is your lot in life in the parental unit. Sounds like you've got a plan to prove her wrong and be all that you want to be, so keep it up! You've got this. If you need nice cheer leading feel free to message/friend me and I'll be that Mom for you. IDK why some people feel the need to try to make others feel horrible by saying stuff but not to worry.... You can do this and you have tons of support here.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Sometimes it is okay to burn bridges, even with family. I can't imagine being treated like this by my own mother, and I don't think I would or could put up with it. If you still live with her it would be healthiest to try and find a way out of the house asap.
  • Hoakiebs
    Hoakiebs Posts: 430 Member
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    You can choose your car, you can choose where to live, you can choose what you want to eat tonight, but you can't choose your parents! Unless you're living at home with her, I'd shut her out of my life.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    What everyone has said in here and yes, you need to get out of there as soon as possible! Do you have supportive friends? Or extended family? My partner came from an abusive childhood, he couldn't wait to get out, left at 16. First he went farming and then joined the Army and created a new family for himself. They are still his family now! Not that you need to join the service but please, do yourself a big BIG favour, when you're able to - find a way to get out of there girl! And when you're a rich and famous personal trainer, you can look back and smirk with delight at how happy and succesful you've become! My heart goes out to you.
  • tretheb
    tretheb Posts: 42 Member
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    she sounds like she hates herself and life ... doesn't want to see you getting one either ... stay strong ... stay focused , life will be worth it ...
  • caroleslaststand
    caroleslaststand Posts: 178 Member
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    I wish I had a daughter like you. What a treasure you are. Yes, I can see how well you are doing and it is exciting. Is there a loving grandparent who you could bunk with until you can afford to be on your own?
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    I wish I had a daughter like you. What a treasure you are. Yes, I can see how well you are doing and it is exciting. Is there a loving grandparent who you could bunk with until you can afford to be on your own?

    aww thanks (:
    see the problem with staying with grandparents is that that means i would have to tell them why, and last time i went to a counsellor and told anyone of these problems my parents found out and then hell got let loose :/ I just try and stay in my room or not at home as much as possible. I sleep over at friends' houses a lot, planning on leaving when I finish my cert 4 and finding a job.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    That's downright abusive holy crap.
    You deserve better than that kind of treatment.
  • jjohnboy2000
    jjohnboy2000 Posts: 67 Member
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    I know its difficult but you are doing the right thing in being positive. It's your aim & ambition no-one elses. Go for it. Those who know you & really care will support you.
    Be strong & you will achieve it.
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    I wish I had a daughter like you. What a treasure you are. Yes, I can see how well you are doing and it is exciting. Is there a loving grandparent who you could bunk with until you can afford to be on your own?

    aww thanks (:
    see the problem with staying with grandparents is that that means i would have to tell them why, and last time i went to a counsellor and told anyone of these problems my parents found out and then hell got let loose :/ I just try and stay in my room or not at home as much as possible. I sleep over at friends' houses a lot, planning on leaving when I finish my cert 4 and finding a job.

    Keep in touch with us, add me as a friend if you want to, we can be like your "online family". In the midst of all the crap you have to live with and that is some major crap where I can only imagine how hard it must be, YOU ARE A SUCCESS. Do you know why? Because you're still strong. You are dealing with the depression and anxiety. You have a plan for the future. Block out the negative words as much as you can, don't believe a word of it girl!
  • Libby81
    Libby81 Posts: 734 Member
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    I read this recently on a wise young woman's profile:
    "Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, you go get it!!"

    One great thing about growing up is that you get to decide who is in your life and who is not.

    So true and I never said I was giving up on my dreams cos of her it just pisses me off.

    The only probem is that I cannot afford to move out right now or else I would. I have moved out once before but due to circumstances had to move back. >.<

    I am in the same position nearly, apart from my parents aren't so bad, they just don't seem really bothered by anything I do at all. I'm also training to be a certified personal trainer and am 3/4 of the way through the level 2 gym instructor course.

    I also live back at home because of circumstances and would give anything to be back in my old house on my own again.

    Feel free to friend me if you like. Either way keep hold of your dreams and follow them, you pave the way for your own future and you don't want to be full of what ifs and if onlys :heart:

    I got the error too, but I will try again a bit later on, I know theres some technical issues today

    Hey, I tried adding you but it wouldn't work because of a maintenance error. :/ Is it ok if you add me?
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    Any of you feel free to add me, for some reason when I try to add people atm it is coming up with "technical difficulties."
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
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    yep I'm getting the same message, tried to add you but server problem, keep in touch with us though! Add later on when the tech problem is sorted. I have always wanted a daughter like you. I had three sons instead but don't regret any of them. Good luck to you cherub :wink:

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