Wanting to lose and scared at the same time

There's no doubt you are not alone and it's a big step just admitting it. I had an eye opener when I started to use the food diary. I found I wasn't eating nearly enough and what I was eating wasn't all that great. I've since straightened it out and one week later I'm down 6 lbs. Keep in mind there are two comfort zones; 1) where you are now and 2) where you are at the end of your journey. The stuff in the middle is the hard, uncomfortable part but to get to the "promise land" you gotta work. It's not easy. Not in the least but the end result far out shadows any pain or discomfort you experience on the way.

Suggestions: 1) Use the food diary and adjust as needed. Food becomes energy and not just an experience. 2) Go to a gym or boot camp and work. Sure, it's uncomfortable at first with the healthy, fit people but you become who you associate with. :happy: Not going because of being out of shape is like being too embarrassed to take your car to the car wash because it's too dirty. It's what it's there for. People take their car to the car wash because it gets results. Same with the gym. It's there because it works. 3) Find a close friend or counselor and get it all out. Shame, disappointment, fear, etc. Just get it out and get that "weight" off then you'll have a clear head and purpose to get the other weight off. Hopes this helps..

Why would you want to stay in and hide? You're a beautiful girl!

I was/am similar in that I've always been big(ger) however I look back at the pictures now and see someone so tiny, just taller. Things have happened and I ate, and ate, and ate. Then it became easy to be the fat Ange. Ange who doesn't do anything or see anyone.

I started here in January mainly as a support to my husband. He has since resorted back to his old ways and I am carrying on. I will shift this weight and you can too. Those 10lb you wrote about it's just a number on a scale that might not be as reliable as it should be. Use a tape measure. And talk, if you're feeling low and fed up come on here and talk about it. We're all in this together and we can succeed and we will be better for it.

Feel free to add me as a friend if you like

Hi,
I know exactly what you mean & if you don't start sorting it out you will find being slim is scary & probably put the weight back on even if you do lose it.
Do you thave a minister or priest you can talk to? Even if he can't help himself he may be able to refer you to a counselling group.
Have you talked to your doctor? You are not alone in feeling like this and the mediacl professions are learning that obesity is as much in the mind as in the food you eat. Maybe if you cannot get or afford help from a psychologist again there may be a local help group where you can go. You may find that a charity offers free councelling locally.
If you can get some support & counselling I am sure you can turn your life around.
I realised that you only get one go at this life when I nearly died 4 years ago. It changed my attitude totally, I so regret the times I wasted & I think it is really sad that you could be doing so much if you could get some help.
Even without counselling you will find loads of people on here who will totally understand where you are coming from, many of us hide behind our fat. I'm sure you will get support & friendship & that may help you to take the next step.
Asto how to tackle your weight just do it one day at a time. "Today I am going to stick to my calorie allowance" don't even think about tomorrow or next week, just do it today. If you are tempted by a bag of chocs or similar don't think I can't have that, either measure an amount you can have or postpone eating them. Find something to do, crafting, reading, cleaning anything. Then when you want to eat something you don't have enough room in your allowance for think to yourself I won't have it now, I will have it when I have finished this. That way you often forget about it or you can make another excuse after to delay having it.
These methods work for me. I only ever diet for one day & I delay eating anything I shouldn't have.
Whatever works for you just go for a little bit of weight at a time. Never think I have to lose 100lbs just think about losing 5lbs. Once you have done that lose another 5lbs. If you find you are struggling before you give up just decide to maintain that weight for a month then start again losing the next 5lbs.
I wish you the very best & hope you get help & have success.

I wrote a post about how to start off correctly and why.
Check this out and maybe it can help you?

Hugs!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/538381-in-place-of-a-road-map


Sometimes knowing how it works and understanding the numbers can take the pressure off.

I can relate to you so much...
Congrats on your step of joining MFP and posting on the message board...that is a great step!! I know people that are struggling on here but won't post a message on the board for support, so YAY for you! Then, I am also am PROUD of you for signing up and completing the Avon walk for Breast Cancer. I have done the 3 day walk for Breast Cancer twice...which is 3 days and 60 miles...the first time I walked 58 miles, and the second 33 miles, I got hurt so they red carded me and took me off the route...you thought my world was coming to an end, I was so devastated!
I have a very stressful life and marriage, my hubby has progressed MS...and through our years together I went to food for comfort. I found I ate whatever my emotion was. When I signed up for my first 3 day, I actually did it for me....I did not get much time for myself, I was so unhappy and this forced me to go walk get out of the house and work on me. I loved how it made me feel, to work on me, actually make a goal and complete it, and raising finds for Breast Cancer! I signed up for a second year for all the same reasons...but my injury the second year...the fact that I didnt finish knocked me off track of working on me. My husband's MS continued to worsen, I continued to sink into my own depression deeper. Then, my brother began to harass me because he saw how this all was effecting my health, my parents are both passed on and he was very worried about me, so he kept on and kept on....to shut him up and too prove I was fine....I finally told him I had made an appointment for a physical. The doctor said I was fine, but if I didnt do somethign about my weight it would shorten my life. One month later, my blood pressure began going carzy and I need it regulated with pills. In one weeks time, I had signed up with MFP that was 12/10.

I know I am better both physically and mentally that I used to be, but I do have alot of growing to do...I still have the urge to eat but I have discovered some ways not to eat. I do not live for food anymore, I live for life! I am not perfect though and still slip from time to time but I know I am so much happier working on me than trying to tell myself I was fine years ago. I learned that my daily stresses probably won't change so I continue you try to rise above them, I didnt think I could do that but I am. I won't lie to you and tell you that it is easy but he hard work is so worth it. I am the type of person that puts everyone ahead of herself and now I am trying to find the balance between my self-imporatnce and being there for others. I am much happier than I used to be and I am excited to see the type of person I continue to find!

I understand how scary working on yourself is but with the support of MFP and a hidden strength you dont know you have...YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THIS!!!

I my name is Anne and I just joined 5 days ago and I can understand and sympathize with everyone and their stories. I too love food and eat when I am happy, sad, glad, my birthday, your birthday and also when I get mad. I didnt really believe eating the number of calories that they say to each day, it seemed too much. But i did lose l.4 pounds in 5 days so I am gonna continue. I lost 33 pounds 7 years ago on weight watchers but to spend the money to either lose or not i would rather do this and be honest with myself. And I feel we all can do it. I am not a big person right now but I have to get rid of the 8 pounds or so I gained back. It is a way of life that you cannot deny. If you lose it and keep gaining it back you are the one who loses in the end. We all have to make the choice, there is no easy way out. Excercise is important. Whatever you can do, do it. Anything is better than nothing. I hope everyone keeps the positive attitude and I hope I don't come off as a know it all to any of you. I am finally being real with myself after all these years. The best to all of you. Thanks for letting me vent. AnneW

WE CAN DO THIS!! :bigsmile: friend me!

Wow! This is some great advice. I will be coming back to read these posts again. Thanks for sharing. I agree that it is a huge step to take baby steps & deal with one day at a time - sometimes one meal/snack at a time.

I'd suggest you find someone you can talk to about this. It always helps and if you don't talk it out, you'll never be able to cope with your issues. For me, I finally had a melt down at my Dr.s office when I went in for a routine visit. She was shocked, like.. 'where did this come from'? Then I told her my dad died, my grandma died, 2 aunts died, my mom had colon cancer, my son was in the marines, etc etc. I just sat there and sobbed. She suggested I find someone to talk to and wanted me to go to counseling. I refused but learned to open up to some family members. Now, if my husband walks with me, I can't shut up. The poor guy just walks and listens while I yak yak yak. Sometimes for hours LOL.
Since then, I have lost my father, my mother has been cured of her colon cancer but now has Alzheimers and I am her primary caregiver. My son is home from the marines and safe so things are a little better. I ended up learning that I do not have control over some things and it's OK. I can however, help myself cope with them. This year a good friends 4 yr old boy was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor. I feel so helpless about the little guy's situation but decided that I could do something. I had a 'eureka' moment and said I was going to walk 1,000 miles for him and St. Judes. So far I'm up to about 280 miles since Jan. 1st and I have several sponsors.
My point is that there are things we cant control but there are things we can do to help cope. Find someone you can confide ANYTHING to, if you can't find someone, keep looking! Good luck and God bless you.
Add me as a friend if you'd like. I'll listen to you!

Wow erbear! These posts are awesome huh? So many great and caring people. And so many that share our fear and frustration. Many good thoughts too. We all have our "stuff".
I wonder though why some suffer a loss and it makes them fighters and others weaken and hide, still others become angry...etc. I wonder if there's a tendency that was already there and your Dad's passing, my parents passing, her fiance leaving, were just s catalysts. I also wonder how much we should work on "why" and when we should stop trying to figure that out and just work on creating new habits.
This topic is huge and daunting and I think, perhaps, there are no right answers. I also think we, being overweight, harboring pain, feel alone even in a crowd.
Well, these posts are proof positive that we're not alone, your not alone, even when your sure you absolutely are....we're all alone together...hehe.
There's also sooo much advice, everywhere you look, the media is crazed with it. Who knows what right for you or me. My thought...let's just keep talking. We're all more apt to find things that work for us through this theraputic brainstorming and sharing. Keep it simple bear, don't get overwhelmed. Baby steps.