Do I invite him in?

I don't know if this is the appropriate board to post this to or not. I need support, or opinion/advice but not on a weight loss related issue. I'll explain the issue, then ask the question.

The issue is this: I've started a journey to create the better me. Or to find this wonderful/beautiful girl that everyone tells me I am (she sounds like a complete stranger to me). So the journey started with weight loss. Fine and dandy - I'm almost there (actually exactly 10 lbs from goal this morning!) But this journey has lead me to find other things that have been overlooked that need attention and has led to me seeking help and getting a few professional diagnoses. The two biggest issues right now are the fact that I've been diagnosed with Adult ADHD (with a great chance that it started as a childhood issue that was overlooked), and a comorbidity of social anxiety. On top of that, I have a rocky relationship with food that needs to be re-evaluated (ie I have to get rid of the guilt when I eat something I shouldn't or if I overeat). I also have anxiety relating to stuff of the relationship type (from negative past experiences).

So the question is, there is this person that I feel a good connection with and he has already hinted at the fact that he might have some sort of feelings for me. Do I invite this person into my life and work on my issues while I build a relationship, or do I work on my issues first, with the chance of losing out on the opportunity to have said person in my life?

I've asked a lot of friends/family and some of them have said that maybe I need to work on myself first. But others have said things kind of along the lines of "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." So if he's worth it, he won't be bothered by what I'm going through. Or that maybe having a relationship to build can remind me that life isn't all stress and medical/mental health issues - that maybe it might help me in the long run.

Just looking for opinions, or what you would do or whichever!

I can definitely relate to this. I've always been kind of "iffy" on relationships because of how I grew up with them in my life. Divorced parents, step mom, a step dad who got arrested, more divorces, horrible boyfriends from my mom, etc...My attitude towards relationships have always been different than most. I've dated a few guys in high school and one in college, and the longest was less than two months. After growing up witnessing what I did with my family, I don't really put much effort into them, and they're not a priority for me. I'm only 19, will be 20 in May, and right now my focuses are with me, my health, my goals, my education, my friends, my family, and my pets. I'm not exactly looking for a relationship, but if something happens, you never know.

Overall, my point is, if you're like me, you'll want to focus on yourself more before you get into a relationship where you have to put focus on two people, not just one. Currently, I am trying to put a lot into my education, and I'm at a point where I am bettering myself with my health, but I still need more time to just focus on me. I still have a rocky relationship, like you, with food as well, and certain situations cause it to get worse...like having a boyfriend, stress, or big social things. With everything I have going on right now, a boyfriend just doesn't fit my picture. However, if a guy were to come into play and something might come from it, I might give it a chance. If you don't try, you'll never know, right?

Here's how I look at it...if you really like this guy, and you think he'll accept you and everything that's going on, go for it! I might talk to him first, though, or maybe see how it goes a little longer by just being friends. If you think having him as a boyfriend would bring more to your plate then you already have to deal with, maybe wait and finish bettering yourself first. If he really wants to be with you, or at least have you in his life, he'll be there, and he'll wait.

I feel like I didn't help at all...haha, but hopefully you can take something from this! Love you!

Better to have loved and lost, than to of never loved at all.

Or another way of looking it is...

I'd rather die with the regret of something I did, than die regretting something I didn't.

Go for it. He might be a solid rock for you.

Wow! Thanks for the support everyone! I honestly was thinking that people would tell me it's not worth it, etc. I always thought that my flaws would get in the way of anything productive in a relationship, but I like the thinking that waiting around until things are perfect won't ever work - because when is perfect ever really "perfect?" Now to just find the right time and opportunity to talk about this... haha

Suddenly I feel less crazy!! Thanks for your experiences and input! Love how you can get that around here, sometimes from people you don't even know!

Altough different issues, i have taken time out to "find" myself and put other things on the backburner because of it.... and years later...low and behold im still working on my flaws, haha :-/ i figured i need to be good to myself before i can be good for somone else... but like you said..Theres no such thing as a perfect time for anything... nothing ventured, nothing gained....good luck