Relationship Disaster

In my opinion not only did she overreact but if she isn't willing to stick by you at your lowest and unhealthiest then she doesn't deserve you at your highest and healthiest! love is forgiving and strong and overcomes ALL and you have no future with someone that is looking for the first opportunity to walk out the door... I fully believe in the vow "in sickness and health" but I also believe in the quote.... If you can't handle me at my worst, you damn sure don't deserve me at my best.... The decision is ultimately yours, but truthfully in the end, you do have to do this for YOU, not her and whatever you decide you need to be sure you are doing it for the right reasons so that you stick to it and succeed! good luck either way! I wish you the best in whatever you decide!

^^ Thumbs up here!

No one has said she was completely in the right. :-/

Were you expecting that to be the reaction?

Honestly, I think she was looking for an excuse to break up. You didn't do anything wrong, and if you both decided to work on your health and this was the result, where will she be when something else happens to you, such as the loss of a loved one, or a job loss, or something else?

She sounds like she's just not ready for a relationship with you or anyone else, and she sounds very confused.

Find a Couples or Marriage counselor and make an appointment. She is reacting to a past experience that will haunt your relationship until it is resolved. If she agrees to go, it shows she is willing to invest in the relationship. If not, use the session to help you learn how to say goodbye to her and build on a future that is healthy for you. Setting out on a health journey with an anchor instead of wings will not be helpful.

I agree!... Sounds like she hasn't worked on those issues and maybe she's just not ready to commit again. Good Luck!

Idk. However when it's an overwhelming majority the picture gets a little clearer. Still going to give it a little time and try to see if she can build her trust back up. But before we proceed with anything then I think we need to sit down and have a few discussions about what love really means to both of us. If it means entirely different things to both of us, then I have to love her enough to let her go. I may love her unconditionally, but I won't be with someone who doesn't feel that way about me.

Good luck to you. :-) Those trust issues are really tough to repair. It's been 11 years since I've felt that way about trust. And every now and again it comes back. Reagrdless of what happens there, you have us here to help with your weightloss. I hope you find this to be as valuable of a tool as I have.

if she cant handle you during your struggles, she doesn't deserve you at your best.

This is by far the best advice put up here! She definately over-reacted (like someone else said) having health issues that you're embarassed about is farrr different from walking out of a ten day marriage. You haven't been together long enough to need to know every little detail about eachother yet. Diabetes is a big pill to swallow and you have to learn to be comfortable with the fact before you share it with others. Yes, if you love her you probably should have told her, but that would have been for the support, which considering the way she acted when she did find out, I don't think she would have offered the support you needed anyway.

Good Luck!

Obviously there is probably a lot more to this, but from what you wrote, my first opinion was that she isn't sure about the relationship.

Clearly this is just conjecture, but it seems to me like:

She likes you but isn't sure about the relationship, so is using this as a 'get out'.

She is saying she still sees an 'us', and is suggesting leaving shower products at each other's houses because she wants to keep you hanging on.

Understand that I don't mean this as a negative comment on her - she clearly doesn't know. All I would say is she is somewhere inbetween wanting you and wanting to break up, but hasn't cleared the line into definitely wanting to break up.

I would suggest, though, that try to think objectively about the situation, without bringing emotion into it, or the things that you think you know about how she feels; you might be wrong about them.

Think about if it was someone else and you knew al the facts, what would you think and what would you suggest.

Given that I don't know the truth behind the situation, my honest advice is to treat this as a break up. This will accomplish 2 things.

1. If she feels that she can contact you and see you whenever she wants then she will be in a very comfortable situation. So if you stop seeing/talking to her it takes the power away from her and gives it to you. If you really want to get something you have to truly be willing to totally walk away from it. This is a concept that applies in so many situations.

2. If it ends up not being a break up, and you want to take her back, then great. If it ends up not being and in the time it took her to want you back, you have decided YOU don't want HER, then still great (for you). IF she decides she doesn't want you back, then you have already started on the road to getting over her.

As long as you are in contact it will not be to your benefit.

This is coming from a 'bigger' girl whos been cheated on, has/had massive trust issues and (used) to second guess everything EVERYONE told me.

I believe she HAS overreacted, it seems like she's scared and is pushing you away before she gets too deep. Step back, do you actually want this girl? If you don't, say that she was right and you need to go your seperate ways, if you do, then work with her, don't be controlled by her trust issues.

Tell her, if she isn't willing to TRY and trust you, there will be no future because theres only so much you can do to gain her trust.

I've been with my current partner for almost 2 years, the first 3 months was a mixture of bliss and hysterical misery (created by me) I didn't trust him talking to girls, he didn't stop, he just showed me the messages, he made me hang out with them so i saw them as his friends and gained them as my own. He never promises me anything as this is a sure fail, he doesn't commit to anything he doesn't think he'll keep... There were other issues from my past, through example and time and talking, i managed to get past them (I've had counselling also).

We've had our, you didn't tell me that, or I swear you told me differently issues but really if you want to be together then some things need to be ignored. if you've been together 5 months, your health isn't her number one right to know, if it affects her, then of course it is, you say you didn't know you had diabetes until you went the doctor? Then how could you be lying about your health? You didn't commit 100% to health changes, was it easy for her to change that quickly? Talk to her about how hard it is, you weren't doing it for yourself and that usually means you won't succeed as easy.

Don't expect any support or understanding straight away, all you can do is talk continuasly until she realises its her making the mountains you're both climbing over.

If you stick with it, it does get better I still get a bit uneasy over my boyfriend talking to girls, I believe even though I trust him completely, he's human and mistakes can be made... I wouldn't forgive him but it helps me stop trying to control the situation.

One last thing, it sounds like she could do with some counselling, she won't see that she's overreacting or reacting to small things instead of big things.

xx