"More to Love"...no thanks.

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KristyO
KristyO Posts: 126
in Chit-Chat
So, I watched the season premiere and the second episode of this new show, "More to Love" and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to watch it again.

At first it made me really sad to hear these women cry and cry about how hard it has been to be overweight. Hey, I could relate and I felt for them. But by the middle of the second episode, I started to get a little annoyed. The women on the show keep talking about wanting someone that will "love me for me" but what I kept thinking is: what does it matter if someone loves you when it's obvious you don't love yourself? :huh:

A man can not make you love yourself. If you are unhappy with who you are, no one can change that feeling but you.

I also don't think it's good to just gloss over the fact that these women are on a path to diabetes, heart disease and all the other awful and scary things that come with being overweight and/or obese.

Big people (like me!) don't need shows like this. Shows that make you think "hey, nothing's wrong with me, I can be perfectly happy if I just find a good-looking big guy that will accept what I've been putting up with for years"...we need shows like "The Biggest Loser" that show you the true face of being overweight and choosing NOT to accept it and encourage making a lifestyle change that will last forever.

So here's to NOT accepting the sadness when I put on a bathing suit, NOT accepting that I can be happy with myself just staying the same and NOT accepting failure. :drinker:
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Replies

  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    Amen!! I am there with you! I don't ever want to settle for less of me with their being more of me.
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Good post. I haven’t watched the show, nor do I intend to do so. I understand the premise completely – the average woman is not the size of the average reality show star. Or the average Hollywood star. But the average woman in America is overweight, and now they’re glorifying it? It’s one thing to appreciate curves – curves like Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce, Marilyn Monroe. Those are curves of real, healthy women. But the women on this TV show – you’re absolutely right. They need to learn to love themselves whether they want to lose the weight and get healthy or not.
  • zibbity
    zibbity Posts: 126 Member
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    Cheers to that lady! Too many women are so worried about finding a guy when they need to be worried about focusing on themselves. Big or small women actually.

    I was curious about that show, but I think I will pass. I love the biggest loser! Its so inspiring. Although I have my reality TV guilty pleasures *cough* Crappy VH1 dating shows and Real Housewives of Atlanta *cough*
  • faithjobes
    faithjobes Posts: 104 Member
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    I agree 100%!!! I hated watching those woman cry about being fat, DO something about it~ I just started actually trying to lose weight and be healthy in May, I've lost 41 lbs so far. I need to lose about 80 more lbs. but I can do it! I am the only one who can do it for me. Then I will have no one to blame for my appearance and no one to thank but ME!
  • Bratsche
    Bratsche Posts: 34 Member
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    As a single person who is overweight I know how disappointing it is to be turned down because I'm not built like barbie and I would appreciate someone taking the time to get to know ME before they make a judgment call about what kind of person I am by the way I'm built....

    HOWEVER - making it look like its OK to just be overweight and unhealthy is not going to do anyone any favors, and I wholeheartedly agree, if these women do not love themselves its not going to make one iota of difference how many men they have in their lives.

    I know I'm never going to be a size 2 and walk a Paris runway, but I also know that I CAN be a size 12 or 14 and be healthy and have a longer better life to share with someone special someday :wink:
  • pattitricia85
    pattitricia85 Posts: 376
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    Great post KristyO!
  • JessiJean
    JessiJean Posts: 1,207 Member
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    I admit that I have watched this show the past 2 weeks :blushing: I did find it odd that the women and Luke were not considering weight loss. It's one thing to be proud of your curves but it's not good to be that obese and not even thinking of weight loss.

    :devil: I will continue to watch just because I feel better about how I look when I see how big those ladies are. I realize this isn't the Christian thing to do, but it makes me feel better about myself. Sorry ya'll!!!
  • Eryn47
    Eryn47 Posts: 34
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    I couldn't have said it better myself!!!! What shocked me is on the preveiws to the show they said the these women on the show are a normal size!! Now I agree most women on these types of shows are waaaaay to skinny but to say that being overweight is normal, is CRAP! So heres to being healthy, and loving ourselves for the right reasons!!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • aprilann
    aprilann Posts: 238
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    I admit that I have watched this show the past 2 weeks :blushing: I did find it odd that the women and Luke were not considering weight loss. It's one thing to be proud of your curves but it's not good to be that obese and not even thinking of weight loss.

    :devil: I will continue to watch just because I feel better about how I look when I see how big those ladies are. I realize this isn't the Christian thing to do, but it makes me feel better about myself. Sorry ya'll!!!
    I agree with you. Watching these women makes me feel better about what I'm doing for me! To play devils advocate these women don't want to change some people in this world like the way they are size wise. Apparently these women must like something about there size or they wouldn't be on the show. A lot of people are afraid of change and losing weight is a huge change!
  • Kendra7107
    Kendra7107 Posts: 122
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    I agree with all of you. I found this show so depressing and a real "downer". I didn't realize that so much of the show would revolve around heart felt confessions of the girls almost non-stop.

    I do feel that being overweight is a by-product of a larger issue for some of the ladies. The are very unhappy on the inside and this causes them to be emotional eaters. let me tell you I know what that feels like. :smile: It's a vicious cycle, they feel bad about their weight, so they eat, etc. I have been there and done that. However, we all have to reach a place where we want to get healthy and take care of ourselves.

    The most disturbing part of the show is these girls seem to be convinced they will feel better about themselves if ANY man can see past the weight. :cry: But on the flip side of this, I hate that our society seems to promote the thought that only thin, attractive people deserve love. Heavy people have feelings too and are worthy of being loved. I think I felt sad seeing so many very young girls that are struggling with their weight. How awful to be a young girl in today's "thin" obsessed society.

    To the person that said this show makes you feel better about yourself, don't feel bad. It's human nature to feel like that. I found myself comparing my size to the girls and kept thinking to myself, I'm not that big". I'm guilty of feeling the same way either though it's not very nice of me. :frown:
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    I admit that I have watched this show the past 2 weeks :blushing: I did find it odd that the women and Luke were not considering weight loss. It's one thing to be proud of your curves but it's not good to be that obese and not even thinking of weight loss.

    :devil: I will continue to watch just because I feel better about how I look when I see how big those ladies are. I realize this isn't the Christian thing to do, but it makes me feel better about myself. Sorry ya'll!!!

    :blushing: ditto on the "I feel better" part.
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
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    As soon as I heard the premise for the show I knew it wasn't for me.
    They say it isn't about looks or size, but yet these women were picked to be on the show because they are larger than the average reality star. I find it kind of insulting and kind of like these women are on display. I mean if they really want to have a show that represents the average woman then they need to have a little more variety and include women big and small, ugly and pretty and everything in between :smile:
  • amandadaisylotus
    amandadaisylotus Posts: 311
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    Don't get me wrong. Being overweight is not okay, it's something we should try to change for personal health reasons.

    However, the average size of an American women IS an 18/20. I haven't watched the show and have no intention of doing so simply because it seems to be a pity party for the women without trying to help them at all except to fight over one man because "he's the only man in America that could possibly understand me :sad: "

    While being overweight heightens our risks for becoming Diabetic and having heart disease, I know plenty of obese women who are in good health, no Diabetes, no heart risk, plenty of energy, and good numbers on lab tests. They're just over weight.

    It's bad enough that these women are feeling sorry for themselves, coming on here and seeing people talk about how watching them makes them feel better about themselves is sickening. I'm as big as some of those women, morbidly obese. I don't want to be anyone's inspiration for losing weight, or make anyone feel better about that tiny little pouch around their tummy that just "wont go away :sad: "

    Feel good because you've decided to be healthier, not because "OMG, I could have been SOOO fat like them! eeeeek!"
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    I've been on both sides of the weight issue- at over 200 lbs my cholesterol was sky high and I had problems with my knees and joints (in my twenties! :noway: ), and I've also been down to about 125 lbs- so thin that my entire family thought I was doing drugs (I wasn't). So, I can understand both the desire to change, and the feeling that "I'm OK the way I am and people can either take me, or leave me alone".
  • 135gratitude
    135gratitude Posts: 364
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    Your post got me thinking...

    I did a bit of reasearch through Statisitcs Canada, and a 2004 Census and found this SHOCKING information:

    23% of Canadians are OBESE (BMI 30+)
    36% of Canadian are OVERWEIGHT (BMI 25-30)
    41% of Canadians were with the HEALTHY weight range (BMI 19-25)

    Note: People who were underweight were "statistically insignificant".

    More than HALF of all Canadians are OVERWEIGHT!!!

    Size of Average Woman by Country
    USA.............CANADA...........UK
    163 lbs........153 lbs............147 lbs
    5'4"................5'4"...................5'4"

    I found this shocking and sad - SO glad that eveyrone on here is working so hard to get "healhty!"
    Betty
    :flowerforyou:
  • KimberlyKurtz
    KimberlyKurtz Posts: 287
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    It is a bad show! Luke the guy is a player! Playing on there emotions. LIke everyone said you have to be happy with yourself first before you can love someone else. I know that first hand when I started to love myself and be happy with myself I ment my now husband. It's really sad to that they post there height and weight on the tv screen!
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    It's really sad to that they post there height and weight on the tv screen!

    I know....I don't like to weigh myself in front of people either.
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
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    It's really sad to that they post there height and weight on the tv screen!

    I know....I don't like to weigh myself in front of people either.

    they knew what they were getting into though
  • GTOgirl1969
    GTOgirl1969 Posts: 2,527 Member
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    I agree...that's why I'm not such a big fan of "reality" shows...it's like airing your dirty laundry on TV. The Biggest Loser is OK though.
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
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    It's really sad to that they post there height and weight on the tv screen!

    I know....I don't like to weigh myself in front of people either.

    they knew what they were getting into though

    I very respectfully disagree. They have no control over editing! You can catch the happiest person in a weak moment and make them look sad desperate and pathetic! So far all I have seen is crying, emotional train wrecks! they can not possibly be like that all the time! And if you look on the internet, search this guy by images you will see a very different picture than what is on this show! I think he is an actor who packed on the pounds for the job! His responses seem very forced! He acts like he knows what it is like to be gods gift, not like an obese man looking for a real connection!

    check out his pic here:

    http://images.buddytv.com/usrimages/usr3553338/3553338_b680e12e-6dd1-4c86-ae08-207313f580ab-went-ava.jpg

    Still think he is who they say?

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