Advice - Do I talk to the parents? Or someone else?

It is really easy to demonize parents when the only story you have is from the child. I would speak to the parent(s). If you don't like the way that conversation goes then you should escalate.

Just playing devil's advocate here - what if the girl was not telling you the whole truth? Maybe her mom wanted them to stop drinking and these girls wouldn't listen so she keeps on kicking them out? I would not trust a 13 yr old who was drinking... I know this sounds horrible, but perhaps the mom was trying to prove a point, that being the kids are not allowed to drink if they want to live in her home!!

I would say talk to the mother first, then maybe get a counsellor involved. If the mother really does give a *kitten*, then call CPS.

I thought about that too... I'm sure there has to be more to the story, but this girl looked so scared. When I asked how they were feeling (meaning were they feeling sick from drinking) they said they had just been crying all night. I don't know how the night started, but she looked devastated when we picked her up.

either way, you cant just lock your child out of the house. thats SO dangerous. wouldnt it be safer to lock them in their room with no computer or alcohol or anything? instead of just throwing an 8th grader into the streeT? cmon.

talk to the school counselor. thats the best bet. then they can decide if its a situation for social services. social services might just go drastic and not really feel out the situation, and talking to the parents could be pointless.

Just playing devil's advocate here - what if the girl was not telling you the whole truth? Maybe her mom wanted them to stop drinking and these girls wouldn't listen so she keeps on kicking them out? I would not trust a 13 yr old who was drinking... I know this sounds horrible, but perhaps the mom was trying to prove a point, that being the kids are not allowed to drink if they want to live in her home!!

I would say talk to the mother first, then maybe get a counsellor involved. If the mother really does give a *kitten*, then call CPS.

That's not really playing Devil's Advocate here. You're implying the mother knew about the drinking and was kicking them out to "teach them a lesson." If that's the case then the mother's possibly looking at jail time for letting her child drink in her home, even if she later kicks her out, and continuing to let the child drink versus either calling the police on her or getting her the proper help to stop drinking. It doesn't make the mom look better.

So if the mother was trying to teach these kids a lesson, she needs to go to jail?! If she was letting the kids drink in the home, then these kids would not be out on the street? Why do the police need to get involved for bringing up your own kids?? The mom does not need to look good here, she can be a total beast, but these kids will thank her later for being tough and not letting them have their way! I know if my parents where not strict with me, God knows where I would be.. I THANK them all the time for this!! My mom always used to tell me.. you might hate me now, but you LOVE me for this ( being strict, I never got kicked out) after....SOOO TRUEE!!!

The mother would go to jail or get community service for having minors consuming alcohol in her home, it depends on where the child was getting the alcohol to begin with. Throwing her out on the street, even for just a couple hours, can be considered child abuse because, again, she is a minor. If it was someone of legal adult age then there's no repercussions for the kicking out, but still if they're under the legal drinking age. Kicking them out is not being strict. Strict would be barring them from the friends they drink with and the places they obtain the alcohol from. Strict would be counseling for the child or even putting them through one of those programs that bring kids into prisons and show them where their partying, drinking, drug use, etc might land them. That's strict.

If the mother honestly has that behavior, I can guarantee the child will not thank her for anything. She'll hate her. My best friend's mother often kicked her out of the house for days because either a chore was not done or the mother was simply in a bad mood since she was an unmedicated Bipolar. She'd only be let back in after her mother went into a crying fit and swore she loved her. A child does not see being removed from their home and safety as being taught a valid lesson, it's seen as uncertainty and can create negative feelings towards the parent administering the punishment.

If that's really your version of strict then I feel a bit sorry for you. And this is coming from someone who (since you felt the need to gloat) never got kicked out of her house by either parent, never drank underage, never smoked or did drugs and was brought up knowing right from wrong versus "just do whatever you want but if I don't like it you'll regret it."

I think the parent deserves to know where their kid was. you can approach it fairly innocently enough, saying you just want the mom to know that her daughter was safe and stayed at your house, but as a mom you wanted her to know, as YOU would like to know where YOUR kid is if they ever don't show up after curfew or whatever.
My brother told the same types of stories, that our parents kicked him out, and so on, and this went on for MONTHS, because they WOULDN'T allow him to have his girlfriend stay over and didn't allow drinking and all sorts of other illegal activities- and of course, he told the girlfriend's parents that our folks kicked him out, and were abusive, and so on.
You really don't know the whole story, and the fact that they were drinking, can make it worse. if it was your kid, what would you want the other mom to do? kids lie. they do, and kids are abused, so it's a fine line you're walking. I think talk to the mom and the school counselor. much like the other posts have said.

Just playing devil's advocate here - what if the girl was not telling you the whole truth? Maybe her mom wanted them to stop drinking and these girls wouldn't listen so she keeps on kicking them out? I would not trust a 13 yr old who was drinking... I know this sounds horrible, but perhaps the mom was trying to prove a point, that being the kids are not allowed to drink if they want to live in her home!!

I would say talk to the mother first, then maybe get a counsellor involved. If the mother really does give a *kitten*, then call CPS.

I thought about that too... I'm sure there has to be more to the story, but this girl looked so scared. When I asked how they were feeling (meaning were they feeling sick from drinking) they said they had just been crying all night. I don't know how the night started, but she looked devastated when we picked her up.

I would just talk to the mom first.. she might be frustrated that these kids are not listening and trying out some tough love. Seriously I do not know what I would do if my kid did that, it's horrible!! The girls could be scared because they might have wanted to get sympathy from you and put on the 'innocent' face so you feel bad for them. I mean unless the mother is a horrible beast ( which you will find out from talking to her), she wouldn't kick these kids out for no reason! Can you imagine if you watched your kid drink alcohol.. I can't stomach this!

Why even go to the parents? It's not your business to get involved in their business because you barely know the kid as it is and you're getting one side of the story. It's not anyone's place but a counselor or the proper services/authorities to get involved and handle the situation.

She made it her business by picking up those girls and not calling the police in the first place! It's because she is getting one side of the story that she should find out what the other side has to say!

Why should she know the other side or the whole story? Just because she chose to go pick up the child doesn't mean it gives her an all-access pass into her life, her home life, backstory and all else. She did what any good Samaritan would have done, regardless of the reasons for why she was where she was. That doesn't make it her business.