T.H.E. (Trying Hard Everyday) TEAM - Week 26

Sorry for MIA.. But today is the first day I ate ok on calories and drank all my water. Whew. It is totally about the routine for me, and my routine is shot right now. Today other relatives rolled into town from Tucson, AZ and will be staying a few days. Scared to introduce my boys to any relatives right now, seriously, but they came a long way and wanted to meet them, and couldn't really punish them for the acts of our parents (his and mine). My aunt said "They are the most beautiful and well behaved boys..." was worried about the race thing but it seems that it's not a race thing as much as a going out of country to adopt thing, of course people think adopting in the US is easy especially from foster care, well, after 11 years and being foster adopt approved in 3 different states - we never adopted a child from state foster care. So it's not that easy! With international, it's easy - pay the money, get a kid.... which is all we really wanted. Anyway, glad I brought it up to her, helps clarify things a bit, at least on her side, there's no consideration of race, maybe on his side, don't know, but as long as he keeps his opinions to himself, well...

Working on getting hubby to the right doctor, we think his tumor did come back, but it's at a place where it's hard to see unless you are an expert on that type of tumor, so trying to get in with the doctor who did his surgery 3 years ago. It "shouldn't" be cancer, and it's a brain tumor he had removed 3 years ago, so all in all it shouldn't be too much of a big deal, but we need to get confirmation on what is really going on there and not something else, or worse. Grrr. Nothing like a bit of stress in life...

Hungry, starving right now, this is my bad time of night lately. Having trouble sleeping, got my sleep cycle messed up, so late night snacking on stuff I shouldn't be. So far, no snacking, and I'm drinking a big ole glass of water to try and not be hungry. I'm under calories for a change, I need to stay under!!

Did a bit of school shopping - 3 kids!!! OMG! Hit two of the office places for their 1 cent sales, did pretty good. Picked up my prescription at Walgreens and they had $9 backpacks, buy one get one free. Cool, already got a free one from the office place for spending $10. Backpacks - check. It's fun and yet kinda sad to get their school supplies, the kids are old enough for school! - but I'm also looking forward to having individual time with Nate, he's been acting out since we were in Iowa, so I think he feels insecure. Since he's only going 2-3 days per week, depending on the week, I'll get a good 2 days with him alone. Been working on spending time alone with the littlest one this summer, which has helped our bonding, and also seems to have helped him try harder to use words and not be so babyish - now time to shift focus on the oldest. Zack will probably always get his 1x1 time with me because he's my little shopper, loves to shop with me and get clothes, loves to watch me try on clothes, always says, "That's perfect momma! It's beautiful!" Well how can you NOT take that one shopping with you, LOL. The other 2 HATE shopping, so I don't feel guilty about taking just one with me.

Still not back at the gym, with relatives popping in and the vacation and all that... feel guilty about it only because I was overeating and the gym could have saved me in that. But, this is a lifestyle change, and right now, I can't seem to get my routine in, but I am working on it. And when school starts, I am totally back at the gym every day! I can't wait!

Water didn't work (24 oz) so may have to break even on cals and eat a banana yet. But still - breaking even is better than going over!!!

What shocks me about my current eating is that - I did so good for six months or more. Then, went on vacation, got my routine messed up that I had established, and suddenly all bets are off. I thought I had it down, I was doing so good, so now I know I need an absolute routine to be successful at this. Good to know. That can certainly work in my favor. Also has shown me how easy it is to fall back into old habits and traps - even if they are no longer successful coping tools - and that routine will keep that from happening.

I'm possibly up 4 pounds but since I haven't been doing my water for weeks and tom and all that - I may or may not be up 4 pounds. If I am, I am, I certainly ate enough to gain 4 pounds over the past month, but I'm hoping at least half of it is water weight. I'm also hoping that because I've fallen off the wagon for so long that when I get back in the gym and really eat right that the weight will come off fast like it did in the beginning... If I could lose 10 pounds a month or even 8 or 2 months... that would be awesome. I'm so close to completely shopping in the "regular" stores and regular sizes... so close!! Well at least all the new clothes I've gotten aren't too small with the weight gain, so that's good. Not too much damage yet. And truthfully the lessons I've learned during this time, with my coping and eating and routine and stuff - is actually worth the 4 pound gain to me. That's nothing compared to what I've learned to be successful long-term.

Oh for newbies and not so newbies - I'm reminded of a post Banks did on the cycle you go thru during this. Will post the link as soon as I find it. A Must Read for all of us.