It's my own fault for posting it but....damn
So I've got a few friends who love reddit to death and a while back they showed me one of the subforms there called Am I Ugly. Basically you post a few pictures of yourself and other people will tell you what they think and try and give you some advice on what they think you can do to improve your looks.
Last night, well early this morning at like 4AM, I posted a thread on there. I did post in comments that these are not my most recent pictures and I have lost 30lbs so far. Most of the comments didn't bother me too much but a few were downright hurtful.
"Fat IS ugly!"
and
"Be active, eat less; seriously!'
Mostly I can let it slide but I went a looked back at the pictures I linked to and noticed that people had tagged them. The tags used across all 4 (included below) were Fatty, 2x4, donteatme!!, and Shamu
Seriously?! I know I am obese, but the hateful things people say on the internet are sometimes just too much for me.
pics
Last night, well early this morning at like 4AM, I posted a thread on there. I did post in comments that these are not my most recent pictures and I have lost 30lbs so far. Most of the comments didn't bother me too much but a few were downright hurtful.
"Fat IS ugly!"
and
"Be active, eat less; seriously!'
Mostly I can let it slide but I went a looked back at the pictures I linked to and noticed that people had tagged them. The tags used across all 4 (included below) were Fatty, 2x4, donteatme!!, and Shamu
Seriously?! I know I am obese, but the hateful things people say on the internet are sometimes just too much for me.
pics
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Replies
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You look nice, but yeah, don't post your pics on the internet asking for random strangers to comment. You know what's gonna happen.0
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I think you look great! Don't let them get to you. Unfortunately, that site was clearly going to encourage that behaviour, and you might post with hopes that you'll get a positive comment or two but on the internet a lot of people are naturally set to 'negative/cruel', rather than 'positive/supportive'.
Ignore it, and move on.0 -
Don't ever expect reddit to be nice. You are beautiful.0
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Don't post stuff like that. They don't know you at all and there are many out there who just want to hurt people. I think its great you lost 30lbs. Keep up the good hard work!0
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Yes, the internet is a cruel place. But you kind of have to expect that when posting pics of yourself. My daughter, a college girl, has many many pics of herself on facebook, which she figured was private, viewable only by her friends. But she has like 800 friends, many of which she really doesn't know, only met them at parties or wherever. She is very attractive, and has lots of bikini/beach pics plus others of her at Halloween parties and dressed up in sexy costumes. These pics have somehow ended up all over the internet, on many different sites. So once you put a pic up you are opening yourself up for lots of input, good or bad.0
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I was only mildly offended by two comments on reddit, the tagging on the image hosting site is what bothers me most. I did get a few private messages on reddit telling me I'm beautiful.
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First of all, congratulations on your weight loss. However, I am sorry to say that posting pictures of yourself asking others to judge you is just asking for it. It doesn't matter what size you are or how good looking you are, there will always be people out there that a) want to be mean and b) just won't find you attractive! Just look at several of the celebrity threads posted in here. Most recently there was a Kim Kardashian thread, and sure several people said they thought she was pretty, but for every compliment there was a comment that was much more critical about her looks (too big, too fake, too whatever). Just don't do it. I know for certain I don't have the thick skin to deal with any possible array of colorful comments.0
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Going on the internet and expecting anonymous strangers to be 100% nice is much like dressing up like a banana and visiting the monkey house... it ain't gonna go well, and faeces may fly.0
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omg you r far from ugly!!! your beautiful ! dont let these idiots get to u!! misery loves company and there ignorant miserable ppl!!0
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Why even subject yourself to that? Seriously. There are cruel people out there who just get their kicks off making others feel as miserable as they are. I think we beat ourselves up enough. We don't need any added help. For some reason I'm feeling like its a self-esteem thing for you because you felt the need to post your pics on there a 4 am and now you are up here seeking some added attention. They gave you negative feedback...now you need positive feedback. None of the comments posted truly matters unless you know where your beauty lies.
Do "YOU" think you are beautiful?
That's what matters.0 -
I know I'll echo what a lot of people say, just don't be disheartened, people are just mean on purpose on the internet, they would most likely leave the same comments to a blank photo. So here; :flowerforyou:0
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Going on the internet and expecting anonymous strangers to be 100% nice is much like dressing up like a banana and visiting the monkey house... it ain't gonna go well, and faeces may fly.
I agree. And to comment on your pics. You are uniquely you and have as much a right to be you as anyone else does. People who judge your appearance are usually either not happy with their own or they are genuinely trying to help, but just haven't found the way to be nice about it.
So, I believe you look great, but you certainly are able to do something to improve your looks. You wouldn't be on MFP if you didn't have the desire to make changes. So why shouldn't people encourage you to do so?
I wish you the best of courage and success! Well done on the weight loss so far!0 -
The key to true beauty is confidence, my dear. The fact that you created such a post already sends the message that you are in a vulnerable state. People who say hurtful things do it purposely to negatively affect you. By showing signs of insecurity, you are inviting more unfriendly and unwanted responses. The truth is that trying to solicit for positive comments online will never give you the satisfaction of earning a true compliment in a real life situation.
What makes you feel beautiful? What are your talents and hobbies? What makes you unique? What makes you...you?
The answer to these questions will help you to find the beauty which you already possess. And, once you feel empowered by these traits, you will exude loveliness. Learn to love yourself- believe in the power of your individual beauty- and others will follow suit!!0 -
This is why I've not yet succumbed to posted to the 'Rate the person above you' threads on here. I know I'd post it when I'm feeling pretty good and some idiot would post '-3 and I just went blind' or something equally cruel and I'd spiral downward.
You are pretty as you are. You have nice, symmetrical features and as you slim down your bone structure is going to pop out more-it looks like you'll have a diamond or heart-shaped face that'll make your eyes pop beautifully. If you have been overweight for a while then you have some great muscle underneath-you need it to support the weight. If you lose slowly and train/eat to maintain the muscle you'll have a great shape.
Don't let the haters get you down.0 -
i dont get it.. you posted pictures on a site for others to critique and give their opinions about but you're upset because you were critiqued and didnt like the opinions? noone ids required to accept you or love you are think you're beautiful. that's where you come in.
dont ask for opinions unless you're prepared to hear something you dont want to hear.0 -
Yes, it was your decision to post your pics on such a forum, so i'd give you A+ for bravery cause I could never do that lol Dammmm girl don't you know that there are people out there just waitin to eat you up and spit you back out? What were you expecting? You're a pretty girl and you have a pretty smile. I can't comment on your personality cause I don't know you. All I can offer is don't put yourself out to strangers to validate yourself cause 10 to 1, it's a fail. :flowerforyou:0
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Why even subject yourself to that? Seriously. There are cruel people out there who just get their kicks off making others feel as miserable as they are. I think we beat ourselves up enough. We don't need any added help. For some reason I'm feeling like its a self-esteem thing for you because you felt the need to post your pics on there a 4 am and now you are up here seeking some added attention. They gave you negative feedback...now you need positive feedback. None of the comments posted truly matters unless you know where your beauty lies.
Do "YOU" think you are beautiful?
That's what matters.
well said! so true!!0 -
People suck and are mean. Are they really so perfect? Take the pictures down. They will only continue to upset you with the nasty comments. These people don't know you. You look happy in the pictures and that is the only thing that matters!0
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bad idea, lesson learned, you look great and congreats onthe weight loss.0
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Yeah, unfortunately as you said, it's your own fault for posting.....you are going to get every jerk out there just making rude comments. I don't know why you'd (or anyone!) put yourself through that.....Take 'em down and be happy!0
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There should be a sense of common decency among people to not make derogatory comments. Leaving negative comments about someone is allowed and probably accepted. However, to be downright mean is shameful and can do some irreparable damage to an individual if they aren't strong mentally.
I also understand that by posting pictures for people to comment does open the door for comments...they just don't need to be mean in the process. They should have shown some class. Unfortunately, class is missing among our society today as a whole.
God made you the way you are and He loves you no matter what. You also look happy and don't let anyone take that away from you.0 -
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL.0
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Don't let the haters get you down. Some people need to feel better than others because they have no self concept. Good for you for doing something positive for yourself. Rock on !0
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As an artist who uses art-related forums to ask for critiques and as a woman who has had an internet forum critique/bash her relationship, I can tell you it's what people on the internet do best. You ask for an opinion and you will get more than just that, you will get the ugliest of the ugly because you can't do a damn thing to them and they all know it.
Even when you don't ask for them, you get them. I'm active on an art site that lets you post up an "ID" picture for your page and for a while I used bust shots of myself and many times had strangers post things about my weight or if I upset them in a comment elsewhere would leave nasty comments on that photo or my artwork. I had a drawing I did 2 years ago that was a cartoon-like version of my then current self seeing myself as I was at 13 because it was a drastic change in style and personality. Someone commented that it was "such a shame a revolutionary rebel with such potential that young turned into a dumpy loser." When I had words with him he claimed he thought they were made up characters despite everywhere around that image stating it was ME.
Facebook's prime, though, if your settings aren't set to friend only. On my 21st birthday I wore a pin-up style dress with a shrug on and wore makeup and all that, later that evening I posted pictures from my birthday dinner which included a thigh-up image of me posing in front of a wall decoration the restaurant had, and I thought I looked great. At this time my settings were friend-of-friend on everything and a friend of someone I knew from another website commented on my picture literally the morning after calling me all sorts of things and how no one over 130lbs should wear what I had been wearing, I looked like a cow, etc. I ended up changing my settings and warned everyone on my friendslist that if they did what that asshat did they were going to be looking at more than the loss of a friend on a site.
But, y'know, that's life. If we're comfortable enough to post our true faces on the internet as we are, then regardless we've opened up a can of worms. Look at all the threads talking about the profile pictures involving body parts or scantily-clad people or other stuff. That's the same judgment. People judge us that harshly in person, too. Yeah you asked the people to judge you, but that doesn't give anyone the room and right to verbally slaughter you. There's critique and then there's insult. What you got was the latter, what you asked for was the former.0 -
If you look for attention online (which is what you were doing, sorry) you will get hell for it. People hate attention seekers and give them negative attention on the internet. And everyone who uses the internet knows this, so sorry, yes it is your own fault, you are never going to get compliments on a page like that.0
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Yeah, the internet is a cruel place. You are beautiful, my dear. Just don't let it get to you. People say things, cruel things because they can hide behind their screens and because it's easy and anonymous. Just take it with a grain of salt and keep being fabulous and move on. Congratulations on your weight loss, mamacita ;-)0
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You look nice, but yeah, don't post your pics on the internet asking for random strangers to comment. You know what's gonna happen.
Couldn't have said it better... And not to be rude, but this thread sounds like you're fishing for compliments to make up for it.0 -
You are BEAUTIFUL. We all are! People are so damn rude. Didn't their parents teach them if they have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all!0
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Because people don't know you they can be very cruel. I looked at your photos you posted and also on your profile. I would say that yes you need to lose weight but you know that and doing something about it, good on you, we are are not alone in that rowboat!! You actually look like you have a nice body shape, and once you trim down and get fitter you will be a knockout!
From your photos you look like you have the most gorgeous eyes, skin, a lovely smile; you are active, lots of outdoor shots, you look like someone with character and fun, and you are spiritual. These things are true beauty - the body can change but your character is you. Those people who made nasty comments - it says more about them than it does about you. Lift your head up, walk tall, smile and be proud
About the only personal suggestion I would make is your hairstyle is quite severe - your hair down (looks like you have some curls/waves in your hair) might look nicer?
Awaiting some success photos now, if you have already lost 30 lb that is a good result!0
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