Over 40, never married. ANYONE?

agentscully514
agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am 43 (44 in May), lifelong single. In the past I was sad about it, now I believe this is how I should be, and I am happy! anyone else?

note: nothing against marriage at all!!! just think it is not for me. I can't conceive how you folks do it, seriously!
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Replies

  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    *crickets*

    really??
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    *bump*

    I saw a movie about this once. Sidenote.....I think if you found the right person you might not feel that way. I can not imagine my life WITHOUT my wife.
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    well, I wasn't feeling like a freak or anything, until now.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    You are not a freak. I know a lot of people over 40 that have never been married and are perfectly happy with it.
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    that is cool. BRING THEM HERE! cause right now I'm kinda embarrassed. I find that I often have to explain it, and people don't like my answer. my answer is: I didn't want to.
  • BillyC96
    BillyC96 Posts: 7,560 Member
    :happy: You have to do what makes YOU happy. I'm 56 and happily married. Got married at 53.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
    36 ..never married.. but im in a relationship..maybe ill get married someday
  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
    I'm 45 and I've never been married. Funny when I tell people that, they look at me as though I'm a serial killer or have the plague. I've been engaged twice and broke off both relationships with good reason (I feel): one was starting to get physically abusive and the other had severe mental problems that I couldn't overlook.

    Fortunately, I do have a 22 year old daughter--so I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not having kids. And she (not that I'm blaming her) could possibly be one of the reasons why I haven't been married. I basically dedicated myself to raising her and now that she's grown I wonder...now what?

    It's not that I don't want to get married...but at 45, I feel like I'm almost set in my ways and that worries me as I wonder if I could even transition to a married lifestyle. But as someone else posted--when the right person comes along it changes our way of thinking.

    So nope...you're not alone! :)
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    My Husband...the old man above....and I met when he was 48 and single, I was 37 and Married, and had been since I was 22, I got divorced and he moved to England 8 years ago, we didn't get married until 2009, but have been together for 8 years now. :flowerforyou:

    If you never found someone you wanted to marry, don't feel bad about it, I know plenty of people in horrible relationships, just because they don't want to be alone, you are very brave and strong and totally doing the right thing for you. :drinker:
  • Finally22
    Finally22 Posts: 305 Member
    I'm 47 - was married 15 years and now divorced and I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER remarry again!!! If you're happy then don't care what anyone else thinks.
  • beersrod
    beersrod Posts: 28 Member
    I'm 48, never been married, however I've been with the same man for a long, long time. We just aren't the marrying kind I guess, nothing against it, just never happened for us and we are perfectly happy. This probably doesnt count but just thought I'd put my 2 cents worth in....
  • Melinka77
    Melinka77 Posts: 9
    I'm close...34 yrs old and never married. I'm not against it, just haven't met the right person and am happily single so until that right person comes along, I'll be perfectly happy :-) I LOVE my freedom!
  • fuzzyslipperz
    fuzzyslipperz Posts: 49 Member
    I'm married and happy, but if I hadn't met my current hubby I would have been fine not being married. l get along just fine solo. Don't stress about it - I get the same kind of flak for not wanting kids "Oh, when you're older you'll change your mind". Hey, I'm almost 45.. Believe me yet? :P
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    well, i don't meet the age requirement, but i will in 9 more years.

    i'm very happy single. i don't really see myself getting married. and i'm ok with that. we're not freakish. we're not weird. and we're also NOT stuck with someone b/c of a stupid decision at a young age.

    i'm not anti-marriage. and if i were to meet someone who i could be genuinely happy with, i might consider getting hitched. but if that person doesn't come along? i'm ok with that too.

    it's more important that we're happy than that we bend to societal "norms".
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    43 here and never been married...YUP its true..always the bridesmaid but never the bride..I too have often felt like something was wrong with me but infact its not me at all it was the relationships I was in!! The men I chose were very wrong for me.

    I have recently stepped out of the box and my comfort zone and I am dating someone who is 100 percent all that I need..so who knows what the future will hold but all I can say is DO NOT SETTLE !!!!!!!!

    There is a soul mate out there for each and everyone of us and YOU will find him/her when you least expect it !

    LOVE hard everytime ! Always give 110 percent becasue YOu never know who is out there waiting to find you !
  • EchoOfYourPast
    EchoOfYourPast Posts: 459 Member
    Happiness is most important...if you are single and happy with that ....no worries....it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. I have several friends that are close to my age (43) and are happy being single!
    San :)
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    It feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
  • kristen49233
    kristen49233 Posts: 385 Member
    43 here and never been married...YUP its true..always the bridesmaid but never the bride..I too have often felt like something was wrong with me but infact its not me at all it was the relationships I was in!! The men I chose were very wrong for me.

    I have recently stepped out of the box and my comfort zone and I am dating someone who is 100 percent all that I need..so who knows what the future will hold but all I can say is DO NOT SETTLE !!!!!!!!

    There is a soul mate out there for each and everyone of us and YOU will find him/her when you least expect it !

    LOVE hard everytime ! Always give 110 percent becasue YOu never know who is out there waiting to find you !

    Hey Skinny. That is awesome that you met someone! Just wondering what you mean by stepping out of yor box and comfort zone? Were you being too selective before or did you go new places to meet people?

    I completely agree with you in that people should not settle. Heck...if I'm 80 years old and finally meet my sole meet--I'll be a happy camper!
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    I am 29. I got divorced 2 years ago from a 10 year marriage that I didnt feel was right for me from the very beginning. I wish I had decided not to. I am in a relationship now, but I will not be getting married again........
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
    48 here, never married, no kids. I was living the single life and loving it, in fact was actively avoiding any relationships beyond "friends with benefits". Until.... yup, I met a guy and it just happened. Both of us resisted the "more" relationship for 2 years before we bought a house and moved in together. Neither of us were looking for long term, it just kind of snuck up on us. Been together almost 7 years now.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    well, I wasn't feeling like a freak or anything, until now.

    That made me smile!

    (and no, your'e not a freak or anything)
  • dannywells
    dannywells Posts: 2
    I've never been married, never had kids and I love my life. I even wrote a book about it: The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree. (https://www.createspace.com/3780256). Marriage and kids are not for everybody ( a fact supported by the high divorce rates and the newfound statistic that there are now more single adults than married adults, for the first time in our country's history. Having a great life isn't about being married and/or having kids, it's about knowing yourself, what works for you, and following that path.
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    I'm 45 and I've never been married. Funny when I tell people that, they look at me as though I'm a serial killer or have the plague. I've been engaged twice and broke off both relationships with good reason (I feel): one was starting to get physically abusive and the other had severe mental problems that I couldn't overlook.

    Fortunately, I do have a 22 year old daughter--so I don't feel like I missed out on anything by not having kids. And she (not that I'm blaming her) could possibly be one of the reasons why I haven't been married. I basically dedicated myself to raising her and now that she's grown I wonder...now what?

    It's not that I don't want to get married...but at 45, I feel like I'm almost set in my ways and that worries me as I wonder if I could even transition to a married lifestyle. But as someone else posted--when the right person comes along it changes our way of thinking.

    So nope...you're not alone! :)

    YOU HANG IN THERE !!! Brighter days are coming sweetie ! Im sure of it.
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    your no freak. But I'm suprised no one has snatched you up. I love blue eyes and curly red hair!! Georgous!!!
  • lambertj
    lambertj Posts: 675 Member
    I felt the same way you do until about 3 years ago when I met the most amazing man. I was 44 years young when I walked down the aisle and I am so glad I waited and had my life alone first to grow and learn but now I can't imagine not being with my husband.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    I got married at 39, so no..I don't think that's freaky at all. I have several friends over 40 who were never married, and some are well adjusted and fine with it, but one is not planning for her own future because she's waiting for Prince Charming to come along and 'save" her...

    Let's be honest...a lot of women settle for someone they don't even love because they want to be married by a certain age, and being with the wrong person for the wrong reasons is so much worse than being happy by yourself!!
  • Carnivorekat
    Carnivorekat Posts: 370 Member
    I am 39 and have unfortunately been married twice and divorced twice - both times my Ex Husbands turned out to be selfish and inconsiderate - first husband found someone else before we got married but didn't pull out so we got married when we shouldn't have, and my second husband was abusive.

    being single is not a bad thing and if you are happy then that is great - one day you might find someone special enough to want to marry but it is not the only way of life - I have no intention of getting married again and am quite happy being single at the minute - who know what might happen if I found the right man but I am not going to worry about it I do not need someone to make me whole
  • agentscully514
    agentscully514 Posts: 616 Member
    thanks to all for your replies. I do feel like a freak at times -- although mostly when people have strange reactions. Because clearly I must be a SERIAL KILLER. right?

    I am a passionate person and have been in love more t han once, but it seems I pick the wrong people, because so far it has not been mutual. In the meantime, I *love* my freedom and it will be hard to give up.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
    I'm 47. was married at 28 for nearly 8 years when my husband went to Heaven. I'm doing good on my own with 2 teens, but I would love to be married again even tho I know there are always challenges with relationships.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
    that is cool. BRING THEM HERE! cause right now I'm kinda embarrassed. I find that I often have to explain it, and people don't like my answer. my answer is: I didn't want to.

    I don't see a problem with it. I had a lovely time being single and I also have a lovely time with my honey (but somewhat more restricted, WHY won't he learn to enjoy tofu!?)

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