Afraid to share

I agree with the hiding of the diary until you are ready to share. Whatever makes you feel good is what you need to do. I also like poster above's suggestions. The george forman type grills for individual frozen meats. Pretty no-brainer. Spray it with some non stick oil, Stick it in, turn it once in a while. Get some already mixed up spices from the spice isle that sound good "hamburger" or "montereal steak".

The crock pot is good. Go to you tube and google "how to cook" and put in whatever it is. Keep scrolling through until you find one that looks easy! Roast some things. Google how to roast a chicken, how to roast vegetables. Usually they go in the oven for a set amount of time, then you pull them out and divide them up to your own size meals. Freeze or refrigerate them. That can be a whole weeks worth of food. Eat some raw foods. Once you have some roasted meats you can google or you tube search for stir fry. Get a rice cooker! Those things will cook rice FOR you! Just read the directions and be patient with yourself. Pick a thing, and try it. Maybe you waste it, but maybe you learned a little.

Eventually you will be able to eat food thats healthy for you, and you will make a whole healthy hobby out of it. There are some frozen healthy cooked things in the freezer case if you look hard, too. Better choices, instead of just rice a roni. They are there. Keep looking! Read those packages and compare! It's a long process, but you will be better off each time you try.

Internal and external shame are different problems. Please think about what your shame triggers are (most likely anticipated criticism) and begin to see the cause and effect. You are doing exactly the right thing by posting here - creating your own reality and disproving your worst fears. That's such a great start, the cooking will be easy by comparison with this big life lesson you are learning. Well done :flowerforyou:

Hi Jackie, I'll echo what everyone is saying. There's no shame in not knowing how to cook ... you smart, you can learn. As for the diary - leave it private if that's comfortable. I have mine that way - it is useful for me and I'm not really looking for input on that topic right now so I leave it private. As people are saying there are lots of resources out there - I find that the food network and cooking channel are pretty educational although a little dangerous; everything looks so darn tasty.

Here's a thought about starting small - think of something you like that doesn't seem extraordinarily caloric and just look up recipes for that online. That way it may be less overwhelming than whole meal plans. I'll give an example. I like caprese sandwiches (tomato-mozzarella-basil). So, sometimes I'll go and buy the ingredients and make a few, wrap them up individually, and have them with some fruit for a few days worth of lunches. I came up with a seriously straight forward recipe and periodically modify it if I'm feeling inspired to do so.

You're in SF and they have Trader Joe's there so I'll use that as the source of the ingredients. I shop at Trader Joe's frequently - the stores are small enough to be not too intimidating and have the fresh produce I want and a bunch of interesting and not terribly bad for you frozen things. (You can also get these ingredients at most any grocery store).

Fresh Mozzarella (8 oz round package in the cheese section)
Fresh tomatoes (a couple of on-the-vine or beefsteak or roma tomatoes)
Fresh basil leaves (usually in little plastic containers right next to the tomatoes)
Ciabatta rolls (6-pack in the fresh breads section - usually I am able to make 5 sandwiches with the 8 oz of cheese)

Wash the tomatoes and basil
Slice open the rolls
Thinly slice the cheese and tomatoes (a serrated bread knife and a cutting board helps)
Tear up (or cut or even leave whole) the leaves into smaller pieces
Assemble the sandwiches: one side of the bread topped with cheese, then, tomatoes, then basil. Sprinkle on a little salt and pepper and cover with the other half of the roll.

Sometimes, I'll spread something on one side of the roll (inside the sandwich of course). A tablespoon of pesto or cilantro-jalapeno hummus. It adds some additional flavor but also a few more calories. The sandwich is fairly substantial and good cold or hot. One can heat the sandwich in a panini press or just wrapped tightly in foil in an oven (15 mins @ 400 degrees F).

Even with the spread, each sandwich is about 450 calories and 23g of protein. Paired with a piece of fruit, its a pretty well balanced meal that takes about half an hour to put together for a whole week worth of lunches.

Ultimately, don't let fear of failure prevent you from trying something. You'll probably be pleased with your results. Good luck.

I just wanted to say that the first step is recognizing the problem. You can do this! :-)

Hi Jacqui

Don't worry about other people. Most of us here will chat & offer support / suggestions maybe. We've all had down days & months

A cooking group sounds a great idea, but just keep your diary private if you prefer, that's just fine

Feel free to add me

Good Luck


Di