Concerning body image, does any one else feel the way I do?

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  • Zero2hero2013
    Zero2hero2013 Posts: 458
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    just so you ladies are aware we men also feel this way. i too was a fat friend :-( well i dont think i was ever fat but i never ever had a six pack or even abs lol. now even though i look better then i have ever i still feel unconfident in my body. i hate my belly, the only way i can make it the way i want it is to get down to ridiculous bodyfat %.

    personally i am trying to over come this by bulking at the moment, bulking literally means gaining muscle and eating loads the only problem is that i am puffy all the time, i have lost what little definition i got and i am basically getting fatter by the week. i figure if i can work through this then i will gain the muscle and i should look better nex time i cut again.
    i think what i am saying is focus on the good points, but turn the areas you dont like currently into your new good points.
    i didnt have any pecs untill around 6 months ago. so i have spent alot of time trying to gain them. they arent massive now but i do have some pecs woohoo :-)
  • yanastig
    yanastig Posts: 2
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    My weight has always been an issue for me, I can remember already wanting to loose weight at an age of 8. Even so, I have never been obese, I've just always been a bit chubby. During my teen years and early twenties I tried dieting all the time, dreaming about the day when I would finally become beautiful, sexy and skinny. Now, at the age of 25, I have come to realize that feeling beautiful and sexy won't come with loosing weight, since no matter what size I have I will always feel fat. My body image and my actual physical appearance have little to nothing at all to do with each other. Right now, I am in the middle of a deep depression that I've just started to seek professional help for and I hope that I can finally, after years of hating and feeling disgusted by myself and my body, start moving towards a place where I feel better about myself no matter what size I am. With this realization I have also started to reevaluate the reasons I have for loosing weight and getting into shape. Obviously, if my goal is such a subjective one, as being beautiful or sexy, I am never going to get there since I'm not able to feel that way about myself. Instead, I have decided to work towards improving my fitness and measuring it in my work out and Roller Derby performance, which is something I can objectively measure and also something that I can enjoy ALOT.

    Does anybody feel the way I do about themselves? How do you handle it? Any "body image success stories" out there??

    PS: I am looking for friends here on MFP who are also focusing on exercise - add me so that we can inspire and motivate each other! DS
  • taramaureen
    taramaureen Posts: 569 Member
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    yes, I feel this way as well. I am dealing with it how you are: measuring my success objectively by how fast I can run, the distance, etc.
  • gizz1970
    gizz1970 Posts: 20
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    self esteem doesn't comeby the way you view your self usually we are our own worse critics, no one could tell you or make you believe you are sexy until you believe it yourself. all around us it is drilled into us what is sexy and what isnt ,then we formulate in our minds by comparing to these images.nobody stays sexy forever so we need self esteem to fall back on as we get older.
  • StrongGwen
    StrongGwen Posts: 378 Member
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    When I was wearing size 18-20/XXL I would never have believed that I would be unhappy about being in a size 10! I see a contestanty on the Biggest Loser show and she has a similar body structure to me, but even tho she weighs at 186 and I weigh 150, to me we are about the same size. When I feel good about my habits and progress, mirrors are great! when I'm not treating myself well with exercise and healthy eating, mirrors are the enemy. Dysmorphia for sure!
  • mousepaws22
    mousepaws22 Posts: 380 Member
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    Yep, I never, ever look in the mirror, I get too disgusted with myself.
  • Josie_lifting_cats
    Josie_lifting_cats Posts: 949 Member
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    Add me!

    I have worried about my weight since some mean girl in kindergarten told me I was fat. In all fairness, I was FAR from it. But it still bothered me. If she thought I was, then was I missing something?

    I've fought with it all my life. I'm now 29, and I strongly believe that my early 30's are going to be "my time". I'm beginning to care less what others think, do workouts that I enjoy (not because I "have to"), and give myself some credit and respect.

    In turn, I've lost weight over the last few years. Granted, it's been kind of slow to come off, but I also am now fitting into clothes that I actually could probably be content in wearing for the long term. I'm noticing improvement in areas, which increases my confidence. I still struggle, because mentally I still think I'm probably ginormous, even though I can now wear pants that I couldn't even get my legs into a couple of years ago.

    This is NOT what you want to hear, but in the next couple of years it will change. You'll start to care a bit less about what others think. I've seriously seen a huge turning point. And because of it, I care more about myself for me - and I've gone from not caring too much and working on myself to realizing that I can (and should!) because I'm important, too.

    You're gonna find the beautiful you - I know it. :happy:
  • cloud2011
    cloud2011 Posts: 898 Member
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    I agree...you have to work on yourself not just your weight. I felt fat at 135 years ago. It didn't help that people would say I'm fat or could stand to lose some weight. (I'm 5'7").

    My sister-in-law was always very thin as a kid. She's obese as an adult and once told me that she has the opposite problem: when she looks in the mirror, she still sees the skinny person she used to be! It's amazing what tricks our minds can play on us.


    For me, it's about becoming comfortable in my own skin, literally and figuratively. I honestly think anxiety leads to weight gain for many people.
  • brandillyn
    brandillyn Posts: 105 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel, I've always been chubby, my parents even told me quite often as a child. But I already knew it. All my friends were so skinny! When ever I was standing next to them I was always inspecting their body parts compaired to mine. I ended up just hiding in my house watching cartoon drowning my sadness in a box of poptarts.. So I had absolutley no friends in middle school. But then I ended up losing a bunch a weight when I moved and I didn't see it. Even buying pants in a size 3/5 wasn't enough to wake me up. So when I moved back I ended up gaining the weight back. plus some more. I wish I would of saw myself the actual way I looked, it would of made highschool a lot more fun for me.. But now I am losing it for real and for good.
  • Reban060
    Reban060 Posts: 23
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    Wow, Staci's story is really inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing :)
  • Reban060
    Reban060 Posts: 23
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    I think you're right on target to focus on improving your fitness.

    I think that what a lot of us want, but don't necessarily even know it, is to feel powerful. As we've gained weight and lost control of our eating one of the important things that has been lost from our lives is a sense of power. If we diet and lose weight we can solve part of that problem, but not all of it because we may still feel physically weak and powerless.

    I believe that a good solution to this problem is to not merely diet and lose weight, but to radically improve our strength and fitness so that we don't just look nice, but so that we feel strong, powerful and downright mighty.

    After reading the article below my wife and I decided to add strength training to our routine and now it's become the main part of our workout. (http://nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/)

    In fact, after reading this article my wife said: "I WANT TO BE HER!" So that's what we're working on, not just through diet, but through making our bodies truly mighty. It's only been 3 weeks for us of focusing on body weight exercises, but we both feel a whole lot better, stronger and more confident. We still do some cardio and I like to go for a long bike ride 2-3 times a week, but the centerpiece is all about strength.

    Another good inspirational site for women (or men, I guess) is this one:
    http://get-thinspiration.tumblr.com/

    It's full of pictures and instructions for women who want to get strong and powerful, not just thin. Appearance is a byproduct of fitness. Strong is the new skinny. Conquer!

    Wow, Staci's story is really insipring! Thank you for sharing! :smile:
  • catpow2
    catpow2 Posts: 206 Member
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    I was definitely an ugly duckling as a child: chubby, frizzy-haired, acne-ridden, shy and insecure. In my late teens/early 20s, I started working out and got my body in shape. In my 30s, I got my mind in shape by earning a PhD. Self-esteem comes from within. If you don't feel good about yourself, there's nothing anyone else can do to change that. I realized in my early 30s that it didn't matter what anyone else thought about me; it only mattered what I thought about me and if it wasn't good, only I could change it. You have to build your own self esteem. Figure out what make you feel good about yourself and work toward it. Acknowledge when you've done something well and when you haven't, eh. Cut yourself a break. Failing helps you learn, gives you an opportunity to reassess and be better next time. It's a journey, a process, not a final destination.

    For many women, building good self esteem is especially hard. We're always trying to measure up to some unrealistic physical ideal set by popular culture. Who says we should all be striving to look like a hot, blond, big-breasted, skinny 21-year-old Victoria's Secret model?! One, I wouldn't want to be 21 again. 31, sure--the 30s are great, but I'll pass on anything younger. Two, I am blond but I'm flat chested and I'll always be flat chested. Eh. Three, I'd rather have a PhD and be able to run a half marathon like I did last fall. I guarantee you those models can't do either one of these things!! Accept who you are. Set your own physical fitness and professional goals. Decide who you want to be and work toward your goals--no one's watching but you.
  • classycouture
    classycouture Posts: 888 Member
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    I completely understand how you feel. I was always thin and athletic in high school, never paid much attention to my weight. But all of a sudden, it was like the flip of a switch, I had gained 10 pounds and absolutely loathed myself. It's been a struggle ever since. I have finally decided to focus on FITNESS, not weight. I am currently doing Insanity, and feeling better about myself every day. Feel free to add me! And best of luck to you :flowerforyou:
  • mikesa3
    mikesa3 Posts: 28 Member
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    I found and printed this a few weeks ago because I thought it was good article about body image.
    http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/katie-rickel-phd/refocusing-your-body-image
    (for those that are anti Dr Oz, I know it's from the Dr Oz website but it's not written by him) I hope you like the article.
    Nancy
  • gizz1970
    gizz1970 Posts: 20
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    The less pressure you put on yourself about losing weight the quicker you will lose weight the less you weigh yourself or look in the mirror for self acceptance the easier it will be. The less you compare to either being skinnnier or fatter than someone also helps. We must focus on our emotions that bound to make harsh judgements on ourselves and never being able to live up to our own expectations
  • Reban060
    Reban060 Posts: 23
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    I'm wondering if a nude beach might do you some good? then again, I haven't been for a few years... but my first experiences were positive. Back then there was an unspoken beach etiquette everyone followed. NO OOGLING! That meant everyone went about their business without judging, one way or another.... I met a geriatric, republican, double mastectomy patient on the nude beach once and we had a political discussion while naked. Talk about positive body acceptance. No idea how things go now... I'm sure times have changed.

    I do actually enjoy nude beaches, and I try to go skinnydipping as often as I can! It feels great to be naked around other naked, completely normal bodies (skinny, fat, old, young, tall, short, whatever) around you instead of the photoshopped, plastic Barbiebodies that one is bombarded with constantly in our society today.
  • rhinson3788
    rhinson3788 Posts: 2 Member
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    I have been overweight my whole life. I was picked on in school and it was no fault of my own. I received the "over-weight" gene from my moms side of the family. When I got in high school I was very active with volleyball and color guard and it felt awesome. I was losing weight eating better and everything. I lost 48 pounds before I went off to college and it felt amazing BUT I also still felt fat. I think being that way my whole life my mind set is that I am always going to be like that. After I lost the 48 pounds my bf of 3 years broke up with me and I was so upset I never eat. Weird thing was, I gained all my weight back AND THEN SOME. I was so disappointed in myself and it wasn't until recently I decided this needs to change. I have been working really hard and have lost 16 pounds in a month. It feels great but I think no matter how much weight I lose I will always see myself as that little girl who was always over weight. So it isn't just you, I think every girl and even guys deal with this on a daily basis. You just have to have confidence in yourself and not worry what everyone else thinks. And I am looking for friends too for motivation so feel free to add me :))) I know this probably didn't help much but I just wanted to share my short story and let you know that you aren't the only one that struggles with this and from your profile pic you're a beautiful girl and everyone should love you for you and not what you look like or what your body size is. Do it for you and you'll be the happiest person ever. Trust me :) Last time I did it for my bf, this time I am doing it for me and I couldn't feel better!!!
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,606 Member
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    I'm wondering if a nude beach might do you some good? then again, I haven't been for a few years... but my first experiences were positive. Back then there was an unspoken beach etiquette everyone followed. NO OOGLING! That meant everyone went about their business without judging, one way or another.... I met a geriatric, republican, double mastectomy patient on the nude beach once and we had a political discussion while naked. Talk about positive body acceptance. No idea how things go now... I'm sure times have changed.

    I do actually enjoy nude beaches, and I try to go skinnydipping as often as I can! It feels great to be naked around other naked, completely normal bodies (skinny, fat, old, young, tall, short, whatever) around you instead of the photoshopped, plastic Barbiebodies that one is bombarded with constantly in our society today.
    so you do accept your body? is it the attitudes (perceived or real) of others that gets you sad?
  • yanastig
    yanastig Posts: 2
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    My weight has always been an issue for me, I can remember already wanting to loose weight at an age of 8. Even so, I have never been obese, I've just always been a bit chubby. During my teen years and early twenties I tried dieting all the time, dreaming about the day when I would finally become beautiful, sexy and skinny. Now, at the age of 25, I have come to realize that feeling beautiful and sexy won't come with loosing weight, since no matter what size I have I will always feel fat. My body image and my actual physical appearance have little to nothing at all to do with each other. Right now, I am in the middle of a deep depression that I've just started to seek professional help for and I hope that I can finally, after years of hating and feeling disgusted by myself and my body, start moving towards a place where I feel better about myself no matter what size I am. With this realization I have also started to reevaluate the reasons I have for loosing weight and getting into shape. Obviously, if my goal is such a subjective one, as being beautiful or sexy, I am never going to get there since I'm not able to feel that way about myself. Instead, I have decided to work towards improving my fitness and measuring it in my work out and Roller Derby performance, which is something I can objectively measure and also something that I can enjoy ALOT.

    Does anybody feel the way I do about themselves? How do you handle it? Any "body image success stories" out there??

    PS: I am looking for friends here on MFP who are also focusing on exercise - add me so that we can inspire and motivate each other! DS


    Back in college, I was 60 kg/132 lbs and I thought I was fat. I started putting on the pounds after graduation eventually reaching, 160 lbs. Everyone had been commenting and teasing me that I've gotten so huge over the years. I told myself I'd never let these remarks get to me, but it finally did. I am human after all. Last September, I finally resolved to losing that 20 lbs. I enrolled in a gym, took pilates classes, downloaded workout apps, joined MFP, basically doing a complete 180 degree turn in terms of my lifestyle. Prior to joining MFP, I had already lost 10lbs. But after religiously counting calories since I joined, the pounds just started melting away. It really did help that you can see how much calories you can consume in one sitting. Because of this, more and more people have commented that I've lost so much weight. Some of them are genuinely happy for me, but there are some who reacted negatively to it. One guy from work even said I looked hotter when I was chubbier. Imagine that! And even my bestfriend agreed to that. The most ironic thing about this is that, the weight that I am now is the weight I was in college and I thought I was soo fat then. The thing is, I have a thin face even when I was overweight and so when I lost that weight, I guess I looked like someone who hasn't been putting any food in their mouth. It even got to the point that I wanted to gain back all those pounds I've lost. But then, all my sacrifices would be futile. I realized though that I have a very poor body image. It takes one insult, just one to make you forget all the nice things people have said to you. A line from a Baz Luhrman song goes like this "remember compliments you received, forget the insults. if you succeed in doing this, tell me how". The thing that irks me the most is when people assume that I'm doing this so that I would get a boyfriend. It isn't. I wanted to be healthy and I didn't want to suddenly be 33 years old and regretting that I didn't do something about my weight while I was still in my 20s. I think everyone of us needs to learn to love and accept whatever body type we have. But it's not easy and it will never be easy. As a matter of fact, I'm still wearing my old clothes. In my mind, I will always be the fat girl and I could be 110 lbs and sill think I'm fat. Anyways I've already said too much, I wish you the best of luck in your journey! :happy:
  • Reban060
    Reban060 Posts: 23
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    I found and printed this a few weeks ago because I thought it was good article about body image.
    http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/katie-rickel-phd/refocusing-your-body-image
    (for those that are anti Dr Oz, I know it's from the Dr Oz website but it's not written by him) I hope you like the article.
    Nancy

    Thanks for sharing!

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