Overweight spouses

Are there any groups for people who need to lose weight but also have overweight spouses. I feel like this can make things doubly hard, especially when they don't necessarily want to lose it. My husband is about 400 lbs and I'd love some support about this. Anyone going through this as well?

(Though obviously a bit dramatic, it's almost like two alcoholics living together....it could either be very supportive, or super destructive. We enable each other alot!)

When I was overweight, my ex husband was as well. I totally get your last statement and it's not dramatic at all. It can really be challenging BUT I think if you can make a few friends here and have that be your primary support, it will help. My ex husband was not on the same page as me as far as wanting to get healthy so it was challenging. I ended up finding an online group of women that were trying to lose weight and it filled that "void".

I have an overweight spouse. She had a gastric bypass two years ago and has lost a lot of weight, but she is still obese (as am I). Her weight is mostly steady now, so it's my turn to lose the weight.

I really appreciate this post cuz' I too have an overweight spouse and it is hard! I have lost a lot of weight on my journey so far but motivating him, has not been a success. He wants to do better for about 4-5 days but he does not stay focused at all! I have to do this for me and our children now appreciate exercise as a part of their life. Until he comes around, you have to make up your mind that this change is for YOU and pray that he comes along. That is what I do and I can only hope one day he will "awake" and see the need for a healthier life. Good luck on your journey!!:flowerforyou:

My husband has gained about 25ish pounds since we met and doesn't seem to care. He was super fit when he was in the military and acts like he wants to workout. We both have a membership to the YMCA and I bought him a 6 month membership to a Ju Jitsu class but has not used either one. It is frustrating because I feel like he is an enabler with ordering out (pizza, chinese etc). He says he is proud of me working hard but I would really like it if he took responsibility for his own health as well.

My Fiancee (husband in 37 days!) is about 50 pounds heavier than me (which as the girl, i'm glad to be smaller than him..at my highest weight i was only about 6 pounds less than him..i'm 5'4 and he's 6'1!!) He's extremely supportive but sometimes i feel like he just doesn't get it. I've also quit smoking about a month ago and he's still smoking! I try to kindly encourage him to join me but he's working full time and going to school full time so he literally has no time to exercise...i did tell him that he could lose weight by just decreasing his calories but i don't think he's really interested :-/ Any healthy meals i cook at home he happily eats, i guess i just wish for his health he would make some better choices overall. It IS hard but i'm in this for the long haul and i figure he will join me eventually!

My bf, who I only spend weekends with, is about 265 lbs. He claims that he can lose it anytime he wants to. I've gained the majority of my weight while dating him because he loves to feed me comfort food and in the past would almost throw a fit if I didn't finish all of the food on my plate (that he served me....the same amount as him!). At the beginning of the year, he made the comment that he was going to lose weight and I should too because when we go out on his boat this summer, all his friend's gfs and wives will be in bikinis. Well, that gave me incentive, but he hasn't lost any (he claims that he has and that he's eating healthy, but I see the receipts for the sodas, candy bars and fast food).

He's gotten a little better about when we eat together. He doesn't pressure me to eat more than I want and he always tells me that he's proud of me when I lose a pound.

My boyfriend who I live with is also overweight, he knows this, but is losing weight all the time due to his job. He also loves snackfoods and likes to buy me treats. It's hard to live with someone who likes to eat fatty foods when you're dieting, even worse when you have kids. But all it comes down to is discepline. You can do it, don't give up.

Im in the same boat as you guys, my husband is overweight, but not as overweight as me! Have to say Im really lucky in that he supports me and we are on a weight loss journey together but Im often the one who gives in to junk food and pulls us both off track, but then again he doesnt need his arm twisting either. The thing I find difficult is guys tend to lose weight a lot easier than women so it just falls off him and no matter how hard I try I just cant shift this weight - seems really unfair! This time we are doing it as a family, slowly changing our way of life and so far its working really well, having the support of people in your household makes all the difference but then so does the support of other users on here

I wish my hubby would try to lose weight with me like this. I try to cook healthy meals but he always thinks I am "ruining" the food when I add things like broccoli. Most of the time he will make himself something different and won't even try the dishes I make.

Just like you had to motivate yourself for yourself, he will have to too. No one can do it for anyone else. However, you can set the good example! When I decided to lose weight my hubby and I went grocery shopping. I bought fruits, veggies, yogurt, and chicken, he bought all the junk food he could cram in the cart and his lip quivered at the though he would never get any junk food again! A month later, the junk is gone and he pretty much eats what I do, just more. I can't say he's totally in to it, but occassionally I'll catch him on the treadmill! When he sees how hot you look and how good you feel, he won't want to be the fat guy with the skinny girl!

He claims that he can lose it anytime he wants to.

Ugh I hate when my husband says this, its like "put me on a treadmill and Ill drop all of it fast"... last time he said that to me I said "do it then".

My husband and I were both significantly overweight, needing to lose at least 100 lbs. each. Three years ago, I decided on a gastric bypass, had surgery and lost all my weight. My husband gained more. I had initially tried to get him on board to at least change the way we were eating. He was having none of it.

The bigger problem is that he's diabetic and has gone from metformin to insulin. He needs to drop some weight, but has only made minimal changes to his diet and will not exercise, despite having a gym membership, a mountain bike and a road bike. I've chosen to just not say anything about it and lead by example. I exercise regularly and practice clean eating 90% of the time. I also purchased a new scale and programmed it with my information (it accommodates info for four people). It took him three weeks before he decided to use it and program with his info. I never said a word to him.

Even more frustrating for me is cooking. Now, I'm by no means a world class chef, but I can cook simple, healthy meals. He tends to make "suggestions" about how or what to cook and it's usually something that would make the meal way less than healthy. I try making healthy lunches for him to take to work and he manages to "fortify" them with things he shouldn't eat. I figure at least he's getting SOMETHING healthy in him, but still...very frustrating.

/rant over :blushing:

I and my fiancee are both overweight. But with the up coming wedding we both have been working hard on weight loss. We go to the gym together and we try hard to work as a team... If one of us isn't feeling the gym the other tries to push them out of bed to go, we made a pact not to get mad at each other about that unless one of us is sick. Once home he takes the dog out, while I make lunches, and eat breakfast. Depending on who gets home 1st from work we make dinner for 2 and that means no leftovers, we have found that if we make leftovers we over eat. We do try to give ourselves a break day during the week, either not to go to the gym or we can order out, I have found this to be helpful for us not to get off track. Not saying we are perfect in anyway b/c it took getting engaged for us to get our fat butts off the couch, but this works for us and thought I would share with you all incase you wanted to try it out. Also putting on the Biggest Loser show gets us motivated. So far I'm down 4 dress sizes and He's down 3 from when he popped the question and we are going to continue long after the wedding date!! Good luck guys, its def hard not having someone that is supportive or not on the same page as you (been there and done that!!!)!