I need to loose 20lbs fast!!! Advice please!

Trail_Addict
Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
in Chit-Chat
How many gallons per day of unfiltered mexican river water would I need to drink to loose 20 pounds by this weekend? I wanna look my best when I stalk my new MFP friends. :flowerforyou:


(life is too short to always spell properly. :tongue: )

Replies

  • lilojoke
    lilojoke Posts: 427 Member
    How many gallons per day of unfiltered mexican river water would I need to drink to loose 20 pounds by this weekend? I wanna look my best when I stalk my new MFP friends. :flowerforyou:


    (life is too short to always spell properly. :tongue: )

    A few ways you can go about this... None of them are clean alternatives to post here but my guess when I went to Mexico my first sip of the water gave me the runs so drink it throughout the day. This will ensure the detoxification of colon! Add some lemon water and the process will be speedy... If all else fails do what a member said " intermittently cut off a limb" :D
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    OMG ur like so beautiful already. u don't need to loose any more weight.
  • chuckyp
    chuckyp Posts: 693 Member
    Cut off one of your legs
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    Tan your feet.

    Like a bunny. ;)
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    exactly 1 gallon. No more. No less.
  • DianaPowerUp
    DianaPowerUp Posts: 518 Member
    LOL!!! You've been here too long, JR. It's getting to you! :tongue:
  • Fit_and_Healthy
    Fit_and_Healthy Posts: 52
    Meth and crack will get you better results, and keep you off the toilet!
  • jennp1129
    jennp1129 Posts: 277 Member
    Tough call... Any more than two gallons and you risk intestinal damage. I say maybe 1.5 gallons. And then don't bother eating back your workout calories. Everyone knows that!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I have some premium CAP water that I've stored in an old cat litter bucket in my backyard.
    Come down to Tucson and I'll hook you up.

    In fact, I guarantee that you'll shed AT LEAST 23 pounds in the first 13 hours or your (gas) money back.

    ETA: For full potency, add three tablespoons of castor oil per gallon.
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Hookers & blow
  • danahake
    danahake Posts: 64 Member
    Adipex and b12/ lipo shots..
  • Vench
    Vench Posts: 56 Member
    Omgz, you can totally start praying to Ana! It worked great when I had to fit into my prom dress and you can make her go away whenever you want a cookie!!!
  • _snw_
    _snw_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    i wear nail polish.
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    How many gallons per day of unfiltered mexican river water would I need to drink to loose 20 pounds by this weekend? I wanna look my best when I stalk my new MFP friends. :flowerforyou:


    (life is too short to always spell properly. :tongue: )

    you need to tan those feet! Lol
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    Cut off one of your legs

    I think you'll have to cut more than one to get to 20lbs. So maybe 2 legs and an arm?
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    Do I still need to tan my feet if I'm gona cut off a leg?
  • SassyCalyGirl
    SassyCalyGirl Posts: 1,932 Member
    ROFL- nope I think you're good!
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    Do I still need to tan my feet if I'm gona cut off a leg?

    For the love of Buddha yes!
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    Do I still need to tan my feet if I'm gona cut off a leg?
    If you cut off your legs, can I keep them? I mean, they're pretty awesome legs, I'd hate to see them go to waste.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 961 Member
    You should probably use the river water to wash down some tapeworm pills, if you really want the best results.
  • Micheetah
    Micheetah Posts: 184 Member
    wheres the Xyngular chick at when u need her? Apparently its way healthier than mexican river water.. cutting off a limb will also be efficient if trying to drop weight. Good luck!
  • arc918
    arc918 Posts: 2,037 Member
    Forget the water, go sit in a sauna for 72 hours! I heard it burns 300 calories in 30 minutes.

    And eat some celery.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Forget the water, go sit in a sauna for 72 hours! I heard it burns 300 calories in 30 minutes.

    And eat some celery.

    Yeah celery is negative food. Maybe one of those shake plates while holding a shake weight and using an ab belt in a sauna.
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
    Forget the water, go sit in a sauna for 72 hours! I heard it burns 300 calories in 30 minutes.

    And eat some celery.

    my high school wrestling coach showed us how to lose 5 pounds in 24 hours by chewing gum and spitting. His view was that any way that helped you to completely dehydrate was useful....

    crazy *kitten* but it worked for short term 5 pound losses.
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
    The advice offered here is completely outrageous and unquestionable. First trying to lose 20 pounds in such a short period of time is unhealthy. If by the methods previously stated you will end up in a hospital and miss said appointment with the MFP person. Mexican River water and tapeworm pills, you will be standing there and have little worms crawling out you rectum or be spilling mud onto the ground. The amputation the person{s} would have to roll you around, probably leave ya on a street corner and that will open a new conversation on the warm rectum feeling. The advice I would offer get girdle or one of those slim T’s. So there pssttt:}

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