giving up.

After looking at your photos, I can't believe that you would call yourself fat. You are so far from that, and I'm sure plenty of people look at your pictures to get motivated -- You look healthy, happy and strong! Don't give up. Giving up gets you absolutely nowhere you want to be. If your goal is to lose more weight, then you need to do what it takes... Work out, rest up, eat!!!, and enjoy living. I've been working out for 7 weeks now and have lost 1 lb. NOT impressive; luckily, I've learned to disregard what the scale tells me and instead listen to what my body tells me and what my measurements say.

I wish you well on this journey and surely hope that you don't give up. What puts the skinny/strong/fit people apart from those who aren't is that they DIDN'T give up. This journey isn't easy for anyone.

Best of luck!!

Forgive me if this has been said, but in addition to not eating nearly enough, I see two servings of lettuce, one curry that had peas, and one serving of fruit this week!

Girl, you need to eat fresh produce. 3 - 5 servings daily, not weekly. I know it can be hard to focus on it, especially when you're depressed and apathetic, but speaking as someone who has been where you are, all those sugary yogurts, fruit strips and processed carbs are your worst enemy when it comes to fighting fatigue and depression. Those things are fine, of course, as long as you're also eating some plant foods. I know it sounds like a drag, but you'd be surprised how filling an apple and a handful of broccoli (with reduced fat ranch if you want--dip the broccoli in it with your fork to save cals) can be.

Hey don't give up...because if you give up you have lost hope. We all feel like you do at times...but we need to keep going and try to find at least one thing every day that makes you smile. I am having trouble losing weight too and I seem to have tried EVERYTHING! I know how frustrating it is. But I figure that if people don't like me for me...the inside me....then that is their loss. I am who I am and I enjoy life as much as possible because you never know for how long we have it.
I am now cutting out as many sugars as I can...and having just 2 pieces of fruit a day. I am also trying to be more into spontaneous exercise...like just dancing to music if I feel that way inclined. I hope this helps you. Maybe you also need to see a doctor in regards to depression. Good luck.

thank you all for all your kind words and support. they are much appriciated. just to get to few questions.. i am 5'5" and 150 pounds. that puts me in the "normal" range. but on the upper end. i would like to lose another 25 pounds.. i do not feel that it is vanity weight. i see the fat on my stomach, thighs and hips.. way too much of it. I also relize i need to be healthy and that this is not a diet site.. but a fitness site. i exercise usually 3-7 times a week.. although the last 6 months have been on and off, due to knee surgery i had. I am still in daily pain, and i usually try to ignore it.

i am depressed. i am tired. even though i am married.. i always say, im a married single parent. i do everything. work, clean the house, make dinner, drive the kids around, homework and deal with the schools. along with all of the outside landscaping and hardscaping (last year i built a retaining wall in my back yard). My husband does little. (unless you call playing the x-box.. helping.. )

im just beat down.. the only thing i have under my control is my body. and it is not responding as i would like it to. last summer i was at 143 and ran my first 5k (well, it was the warrior). this year.. i just cry everytime i look in the mirror.

every time i see my reflextion.. expecially when im shopping or whatever.. i just want to curl up.. i really am embarrased. i know i need to work on that.. i am trying.. im just so tired.

thank you again for everything.. all the posts, notes and friend request.. means alot.. thank you all for your support.. hopefully i can turn this around soon.

Everyone has bad days but I suspect from your recent posts that this is more than that. Forcing yourself to live a life in which you are deeply unhappy is making you profoundly depressed. The tiredness and shame are symptoms of this. Sometimes the way we feel about ourselves becomes manfest in the way we see our bodies, a mark of shame. I think you can see this is illogical, but it sounds like it's become yet another thing to blame yourself for. In response to all this you are setting yourself such high standards of achievement to compensate (weight loss, runs, building work(!) ) - resulting in more self blame when you don't do these, more hopelessness.

Karylee, please take steps to change your life while you still have that remaining bit of insight and hope. Do it for your kids, if not yourself. Please talk to a relationship counsellor, one you feel comfortable with. You can go on your own. They won't tell you what to do, they will just give you support and the insight you gain may help you blame yourself less. Alternatively you could request a medication review with your doctor - not as good an option as the side effects are worse as they get stronger but better than sinking under the weight of the depression.

There's no need to comment on this if you feel you do not wish to share on a forum but I wondered what you meant by lack of control. Is it your situation generally or is it more of a day to day issue? The reason I ask is that it's very common in situations such as these that the guy has problems with anger and that adds to the difficulties significantly. Again, if this is the case for you then the support of someone independent, such as a counsellor is really useful.

I know how hard and how lonely it is to be a married single parent, I've been there. I couldn't break up my family and was determined to find a way of making it work. In the end it was when I realised that the effect it was having on me was affecting how I was with my kids (and would eventually affect my ability to parent effectively) that I gave myself permission to leave. I wish it hadn't been so, but I needed to stay until I knew for sure it was the right thing to do for them.

I hope you don't mind me sharing this. I'm not saying it's what you should do. Your situation and your values may be different. But I think it's important that you know that this level of misery is unsustainable in the long term without serious side effects of the type you are experiencing and that you may not be able to protect others from the consequences of this. So whatever you are determined should happen in the future, either the situation needs to change or your ability to cope with it needs to change. And that doesn't mean expecting it not to have an effect and blaming yourself when it does. It means accepting it is natural that you are finding it hard, being kind to yourself as you would a friend in your position, getting more support and learning life skills to help manage your mood more effectively. It may seem like an impossible task, but so many of us have been there and lived to tell the tale. You will too :flowerforyou: