Everyone invited but The Boy

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42kgirl
42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
in Chit-Chat
One of the moms in my Cub Scout den is hosting an Easter egg hunt and invited all the boys in the den except my son. I am not a big fan of hers anyway because she never comes to any meetings and does things like drop her kid off and tell me I don't know who is picking him up or what time. I often have to wait 20-30 minutes after a meeting for someone to come get him. This means I get home around 9pm and I get up at 3am for work. It's not because she can't, it's because she won't. We have friends in common and she has plenty of help with her other kids who are welcome at the meetings anyway. She is a member at the gym I work at and is often snotty to me and everyone else. I always invite her kid to my kid's events. She even invited one kid who just joined our den and they just met him. I bend over backwards as leader of this den because no one else will do a damn thing and I am kind of pissed about this. The Boy knows nothing about it now, but will find out at the next meeting and I'm just dreading the why wasn't I invited question.
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  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    that sucks you should call her out in private make known that no one should be left out. thats not what you teach and if she continues she and her kids can go. it unexceptible behaviour in todays society. your boy is going to fill like crap when he learns the truth. i was left out a lot and it doesn't feel good
  • Babybirdganz
    Babybirdganz Posts: 108 Member
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    You think she would want to set a good example for her children...
    Maybe try talking to her about it in private and asking her why she feels the need to treat you and your family this way after all the hard work/time you put in? This is horrible, especially to do to a child when everyone else is invited.
    Some people just don't get it! :(
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
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    Just remember, you are doing what you are doing for YOUR son and the other kids that appreciate it. Don't let one bad apple ruin it for you and your son. If you don't make a big deal of it, your son won't feel so bad.
    She is probably doing you a favor by not being your friend.
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
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    One of the moms in my Cub Scout den is hosting an Easter egg hunt and invited all the boys in the den except my son. I am not a big fan of hers anyway because she never comes to any meetings and does things like drop her kid off and tell me I don't know who is picking him up or what time. I often have to wait 20-30 minutes after a meeting for someone to come get him. This means I get home around 9pm and I get up at 3am for work. It's not because she can't, it's because she won't. We have friends in common and she has plenty of help with her other kids who are welcome at the meetings anyway. She is a member at the gym I work at and is often snotty to me and everyone else. I always invite her kid to my kid's events. She even invited one kid who just joined our den and they just met him. I bend over backwards as leader of this den because no one else will do a damn thing and I am kind of pissed about this. The Boy knows nothing about it now, but will find out at the next meeting and I'm just dreading the why wasn't I invited question.


    ARGH she is a jerk. I hate when my kid gets left out. I would call her out....
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    lol. oh the sorrows of middle class America :) but seriously, I know you're more upset that this may hurt your child's feelings, and this reflects negatively on her and not on you. this is a good time to teach your son a life lesson, that no matter how good of a person you are, some people will never grow up and be civilized.
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Your son gets to learn that not everyone is nice, and it's not the end of the world. Maybe you can do something special with him that day, and maybe invite one of his friends to come along. Most important--try not to make a big deal of it in front of your son. Disappointments happen, and the sooner we learn to deal with them constructively, the better. No one likes seeing their child slighted, but life goes on. We have to learn to make the best of it. Continue doing good things for others, and try not to get upset over the failure of others to do as well as you. God bless you!
  • riverabeth
    riverabeth Posts: 45 Member
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    If at all possible, plan a fun activity w/ your son on the same day ad the egg hunt. This way if/when he does hear about it you can remind him he couldn't have gone anyways because y'all were super busy having your own fun! This is what I did the last time I knew my daughter had been excluded from a party.
  • kpittman0612
    kpittman0612 Posts: 84
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    I would call her out. It's one thing to invite a select few but to ONLY exclude your son is just wrong!!! She's not worth having as a friend but to mistreat your child is not acceptable! She needs to be an adult and invite all the children!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    That is really rude.
    You could always call her and say, "Hi, I heard about Joey's party/whatever-it-is in two weeks and we never received an invite. I assumed since you invited the rest of the troop, that my son would be invited as well." You don't invite everyone but one person, that is extremely rude.
    However, if you don't want to, I would take the advice above and plan a really fun activity to do with your son.

    But I will say I was in Girl Scout and some of the worst behavior I experienced from other peers happened in that group. People making fun of me, insulting my appearance and my family, teasing me about my weight, etc.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    I agree with doing something fun with him that day. That way, when he finds out there was a party, you can tell him that he wouldn't have been able to go anyway because you guys were at the arcade or whatnot.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    I disagree with the calling out comments...

    Rise above it and just start a herpes rumor about her with the rest of the parents... Or that her husband is cheating on her or that she is a lesbian.

    Works every time.
  • KareninCanada
    KareninCanada Posts: 795 Member
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    If at all possible, plan a fun activity w/ your son on the same day ad the egg hunt. This way if/when he does hear about it you can remind him he couldn't have gone anyways because y'all were super busy having your own fun! This is what I did the last time I knew my daughter had been excluded from a party.


    ^^^ This. Just let it go, and be the bigger person. Stewing over it will only hurt you and your son in the long run. Doesn't make it right, but like someone else said, she's doing you a favor by not being your friend.


    BUT. The late pickups are completely unacceptable. That is taking advantage and you need to put a stop to that, even if it means telling her that he can't come anymore because of it.
  • bjfmade
    bjfmade Posts: 543 Member
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    lmao, this would work
  • Sunshine_Girlie
    Sunshine_Girlie Posts: 618 Member
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    I agree with some of the other posts. I would have a fun day planned out just for him and when/if he does hear about what he was not invited to, he will definitely have the better end of the stick. And as for the other lady, I don't know what her story is. Just do your best and keep living life out to the fullest. It will catch up to her one day. It just takes some people longer to grow up, if they do at all. If you do plan something with the kids, just make sure you invite her. Maybe it'll make her think about how she's being and ponder the fact that even if she didn't invite your son and/or you, maybe she could learn to put whatever it is aside and just take it for the team.
  • visiri
    visiri Posts: 173 Member
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    Your son gets to learn that not everyone is nice, and it's not the end of the world. Maybe you can do something special with him that day, and maybe invite one of his friends to come along. Most important--try not to make a big deal of it in front of your son. Disappointments happen, and the sooner we learn to deal with them constructively, the better. No one likes seeing their child slighted, but life goes on. We have to learn to make the best of it. Continue doing good things for others, and try not to get upset over the failure of others to do as well as you. God bless you!


    This!!! I've had to do this a few times, special day out with my son to help with the blow of not being included. When he has asked why, I've just told him that not everyone acts the right way and does rude things.
  • pumalama
    pumalama Posts: 140 Member
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    If at all possible, plan a fun activity w/ your son on the same day ad the egg hunt. This way if/when he does hear about it you can remind him he couldn't have gone anyways because y'all were super busy having your own fun! This is what I did the last time I knew my daughter had been excluded from a party.

    I was going to suggest something like this. I think this is the best damage control you could do.
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    When I was about 8, my girl scout leader and my mother didn't get along. The leader went so far as to "accidently" forgetting to send home paperwork for a camping trip, so I wouldn't be able to go. My mom called her out on it, and I ended up going. However, the leader was rude and mean to me the whole time, and I was stuck there. It was pretty horrible of her, but some people just aren't nice enough to treat the apple any different than the tree. Keep that in mind when dealing with her. If she didn't invite your son because she doesn't (for whatever reason) like you, do you think pointing out that she's being unfair is going to make her like you any more, and therefor treat your son better?
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    You could always call her and say, "Hi, I heard about Joey's party/whatever-it-is in two weeks and we never received an invite. I assumed since you invited the rest of the troop, that my son would be invited as well." You don't invite everyone but one person, that is extremely rude.
    There is a slight chance this is the case. Give her a chance to do the right thing, privately, to save face. If she doesn't then you have confirmation of her character.
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,138 Member
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    This is BS! You have to do what is right for the kiddos.. but you can call foul on the adults!
  • RobynDCrossman
    RobynDCrossman Posts: 252
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    When I was about 8, my girl scout leader and my mother didn't get along. The leader went so far as to "accidently" forgetting to send home paperwork for a camping trip, so I wouldn't be able to go. My mom called her out on it, and I ended up going. However, the leader was rude and mean to me the whole time, and I was stuck there. It was pretty horrible of her, but some people just aren't nice enough to treat the apple any different than the tree. Keep that in mind when dealing with her. If she didn't invite your son because she doesn't (for whatever reason) like you, do you think pointing out that she's being unfair is going to make her like you any more, and therefor treat your son better?

    I agree with this a hundred percent. As a child I also caught the brunt of another parents dislike of my own parent. So, it's beautiful out - and I'm sure there are many other similar events going on given the season!
    What an awful person. Also, you may address the tardiness issue as well. Can you bar a boyscout because his parents don't obey? Pretty sure there's something along that line. Or, call the cops. ;) Somebody was left without a parent. Her kid isn't your responsibility - leader or not.

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