When do you break the news to your kids? (Spoiler alert)

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Replies

  • We never lied to our children about these or other things.
  • beattie1
    beattie1 Posts: 1,012 Member
    I found that they gradually worked it out for themselves, but didn't want to let on that they knew in case the fun (and gifts) stopped. I think it's worth having a word with older kids so they don't spoil it for younger ones, but if they don't have a good relationship it's a way for the older ones to upset the younger ones.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    When do you break the news to your kids that there is no Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny? (And don't even get me started about Christopher Columbus, and the true story of Thanksgiving (US) and the Pilgrims)

    I've got a toddler, and these things cross my mind.

    What do you mean there is no Easter Bunny or Santa Claus? :cry:
  • akgrown4
    akgrown4 Posts: 28 Member
    Personally I never told my kids, for the sole purpose of never lying to my children. If they question you're honesty on one thing like that, there's no turning back and I figured I would rather have them being the kid at school telling other kids there is no santa versus them coming home in tears because someone told them that.
  • We tell them the truth - its FUN to pretend. We have "battles" for who's the coolest Santa (Dad) or Tooth Fairy (Me) - That makes it so fun for our teenagers!
    i also teach them the correct names for their private parts - how long is "tee-tee" going to work?
    Not interested in lying to my kids... unless its funny - like Calvin's (&Hobbs) Dad
  • angelaclassact
    angelaclassact Posts: 66 Member
    I don't encourage the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa, etc. I don't discourage it. So, if he chooses to believe its real, then I guess, that's fine. I'm not really worried about letting him in on the secret.
  • knowkeys
    knowkeys Posts: 28 Member
    WHAT???????!!!!!!!WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUSE???!!!!! NO EASTER BUNNY????!!!!!! NO TOOTH FAIRY?????!!!!! You must have had a moment of temporary insanity.......I forgive you LOL

    I couldn't agree more - what's are these lies? I am away outside to look for BIGFOOT riding on the LOCH NESS MONSTER.
    Thanks goodness. LOL
  • LaehJ
    LaehJ Posts: 2
    If they haven't figured it out by then, I'd say 10 is a good age. After a certain age, you don't want them to feel like a fool for being the last to know. I was a year younger than everyone in my class, and I remember being hurt that I went to the mat arguing about it. I also used it against my parents for a while reminding them that they lied to me for so many years ha ha!

    But, seriously. The way I found out is that I knew someone who didn't get anything for Easter due to financial reasons. Mom turned it around and let me participate in helping to make someone else feel special by playing Easter bunny that year and making a basket for her.
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 751 Member
    My suggestion is don't teach it to them.. I know this is difficult because they will find out about it anyway, but when they do become aware just explain to them it’s all a commercial facade for you to spend tons of money on unnecessary crap.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    I think growing up and going to school, their friends will probably tell them and they can figure it out on their own. My parents never had 'the talk' with me about fictional holiday characters not being real.

    That's how it was with me. By the time I was out of elementary school, classmates and friends alike had informed me there wasn't a Santa or Easter Bunny or even a Tooth Fairy, plus a lot of the cartoons and movies I watched tended to debunk the fantasy in the process of making fun of it. I still got excited for easter egg hunts and what I would find under the tree each Christmas, but I knew the truth. Didn't mean I didn't enjoy myself.

    I don't know, it seems kind of stupid to fret over when you have to tell your kids that fictional characters aren't real and happily ever afters don't occur in the world because unless your kid's messed up and clings to those fantasies like a life line, chances are they won't really care. And why? Because they still get the same rewards regardless of where it comes from. Presents are still there under the tree, baskets of candy are always waiting, and money will be had for every tooth. Kids aren't dumb, as long as their benefits are still there it might be a few sniffles, a whine, and then lalala what's for dinner.
  • lucky2too
    lucky2too Posts: 69 Member
    My Daddy told me when you stop believing in Santa he stops coming to your house. I'm 65, Daddy is 90 and we both still believe. The last time I lost a tooth the dentist kept it, and tomorrow I'll be watching for the Easter Bunny.
    It's fun to pretend and usually they figure that out long before you have to tell them.
  • 13519485
    13519485 Posts: 264
    I figured it out on my own that the Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny characters were fictitious along with other entities such as Zeus, the Christian god, all other gods, faeries, unicorns, Care Bears, pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, etc. I didn't care much for figuring it out on my own, and I wish I'd had honest parents. Just be honest with your kids. Kids raised not believing in these things don't suffer any disadvantage for it, and it helps them grow up to be more logical, rational, and sceptical adults, which in this world is a very good thing. Cheers.
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    My son's teacher told the class that Santa wasn't real. My mother wanted to go up to the school and beat the woman black and blue. I should've let her
  • Sheriemae
    Sheriemae Posts: 248
    They usually figure it out through friends or siblings. I found out when I was in Kindergarten. Caught my mom and dad putting presents under the tree. They tried saying they were just the gifts from them and Santa would be there later. Liars!

    *My momma still puts From Santa on my gifts (I'm 30) I swear she does this just to get under my skin. She knows how I feel about this. If I do have kids the only thing Santa will bring them is the crappy stuff.....socks haha! (wouldn't be crappy now, I love new running socks) Why should a strange guy in a red suit that comes into your house in the middle of the night (creepy!) get all the credit for the good stuff that you worked your butt off for?

    So No, I don't have kids, but if I ever do I won't be lying to them.You're suppose to teach your kids NOT to lie, but what are you doing when you tell them there is a Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy? I don't know. Maybe I'm just a fun sucker. I just can't stand being lied to, even about silly things like that.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    We tell them the truth - its FUN to pretend. We have "battles" for who's the coolest Santa (Dad) or Tooth Fairy (Me) - That makes it so fun for our teenagers!
    i also teach them the correct names for their private parts - how long is "tee-tee" going to work?
    Not interested in lying to my kids... unless its funny - like Calvin's (&Hobbs) Dad

    Can you have a talk with my mom? I'm 22 and she still uses the term "girl's have it" for downstairs parts. She got embarrassed when she had to come to me for advice about something bothering her down there and apologized when she used the correct terms. My dad, however big an *kitten* he was, threw a book at me at age 8 that explained all the genital parts and how sex worked, with pictures so at least he wasn't afraid to address it as it was.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    when they catch santa, and the little monsters on the school buss ruin it for them.....:cry:
  • Sheriemae
    Sheriemae Posts: 248
    I have 4 daughters ages 2, 7, 8, and 10. When my oldest turned 10 I had "The Talk" with her about Santa, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc. She had her ideas but it was a good chat and everything was fine.

    A couple months later she lost a tooth. I took her aside and jokingly asked her if I still had to give her a dollar for her tooth. She told me it would be best to keep paying in order to not spoil it for the little ones and that $5 was a better amount.



    SMART kid! :laugh:
  • LovingLisa2012
    LovingLisa2012 Posts: 775 Member
    my neice asked me this same thing, b/c she has a 2 year old .. i told her that i still belive in Santa Clause .. not the person, but the spirt of Santa

    im 32 she is 19 :)
    but anyway i figured out on my own there was no Santa .. dont rush it, they will find out when its time
    btw Santa stills gives presents some times even the dog gives out gifts :laugh:
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    When they ask....my wife and I had this huge fight over this. She grew up in a very faithful house that didn't believe in all of that while I lived in a house of disgruntled Catholics turned atheist. We had Santa, we had the Easter Bunny, we had the Tooth Fairy and we had whimsy and fun. I eventually figured it out on my own and held no grudge against my parents for "lying" about it. Let them have their fun, there isn't enough whimsy in the adult world.
  • ericgAU
    ericgAU Posts: 271
    I dont think its necessary to tell them anything. They figure it out for themselves. We've got 4 and the eldest at 12 still believes in all those things. Hell, kids grow up so quick these days. Best if we, as parents preserve some of these little things for as long as possible I say.
  • AMANDAHORSTMAN
    AMANDAHORSTMAN Posts: 4 Member
    My girls are 8 and 10 and don't like to talk about it, they know but we all love the holidays so I am happy with it like that. Santa, Easter bunny and tooth fairy all come to our house:-)
  • ccbing
    ccbing Posts: 162 Member
    I don't. They usually figure it out on their own. My 11 year old hasn't told me yet that she knows better, so we just keep pretending. Its fun :)

    ^^ this...my 9 year old apparently still believes and I'm sure she will figure it out soon enough. So we still play along. I figured it out when I was about 8.
  • teeley
    teeley Posts: 477 Member
    why give up the best leverage you can possibly hold over them?

    "don't do that Santa is watching you"
  • justbecause2014
    justbecause2014 Posts: 371 Member
    Wait.....what are you trying to say? So who really puts the presents under my tree!? ;) Haha, My parents never actually "told" me, I just figured it out lol!
  • NotParis
    NotParis Posts: 26 Member
    They do figure it out their own and when my 6 year old asks if they are real, I ask if she believes? Of course she does and so I say that if she believes then they must be real. Why not give them the opportunity in this world to believe is something magical!
  • GrammyWhammy
    GrammyWhammy Posts: 484 Member
    When my now adult daughter (brilliant, beautiful and gullible) was about 8 or 9, she peeked out the window about 4:30 a.m. and saw a large, fluffy figure carrying a basket, hopping up and down on the front lawn. It was me hiding eggs in the garden. I had just stepped in a Texas-sized red ant hill and was furiously trying to get them off my bunny slippers. In the pre-dawn light I guess I looked like a giant Easter Bunny making deliveries. Finally finished outside I tiptoed into the house to find her excitedly chattering about the giant rabbit on the lawn. My timing was perfect as I left my slippers and coat in the garage and was in my PJ's. Of course it wasn't her "sleeping" mother! Really, I had to break the news to her in high school as I knew her college friends would mock her for life.

    As for Santa--we still believe! Haven't you seen Polar Express?
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Both of my kids were pretty young. like before preschool age, when I explained that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny were make believe but it was fun to pretend. Their childhoods were not ruined at all and they still have very good imaginations. My daughter chooses to let her children believe in the Santa and the Easter Bunny but assures me her childhood wasn't ruined at all. Trust me, if I had ruined her childhood, she would be sure and let me know. So would my son (who's single and has no kids btw).
  • honestlysweet
    honestlysweet Posts: 221 Member
    I told my kids at age 3

    So did I. We had just come home from work/preschool and he climbed onto the kitchen chair and folded his hands so cute on the table and said " Mommy, my friend at school says there is no Santa Claus". I was taken aback, and decided to turn it around on him by saying, "Well, what do YOU think" and he picked up his little hands and slammed them on the table with a desperate look on his face and said "I just want to know the TRUTH!"

    I knew then I had to tell him. He looked relieved. Because he knew he would believe anything I said, and me saying what his friend said made it easier.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    Depends on the kid. My oldest we had to tell this past year as he was 12yo and all his friends no longer believe. However, my 11yo figured it out and asked me point blank and I told her. The best part of the older ones knowing is that they now help keep the magic during the holiday for the little ones. Like tonight, they arranging the whole egg hunt for me. They are writing the note from the Easter bunny. I'm relaxing (after we all colored eggs together) and they are doing the rest for me. I might even let them help me put all the goodies in the baskets. Life is good. hehe
  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    I told my 8 yr old this year but I didn't mean to... I kinda had a nervous breakdown at the beginning of the year... I felt so bad about it... but he didn't seem so heartbroken. I think he already had figured it out anyway.