Appropriate Age for child to count calories?

If it were my child I would do my part to feed him better and encourage him to move more and I'd rely on that method first.

he eats really well (as much so as our budget allows) at home, i make 99.9% of all of our meals from scratch, and make healthy substitutions where allowable. However, its when hes NOT home that trips him up he goes to visit his grandma during school breaks (spring, winter, etc) and she will let him eat 2 boxes of frozen waffles with half a bottle of maple syrup for breakfast, and similar stuff ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY. she has a son that is in high school and is a wrestler and she ALLOWS him to CUT WEIGHT (10 lbs in 4 days) kind of thing, by starving himself and doing extra workouts. She told my son that the foods she gives me (like i listed before) are good for him, and will help him with his weight! i just dont understand (btw, its NOT my mother or my husbands mother -- its my husbands ex-wifes mother) WHY would she do that to him!? my sons mother, aunt, and his grandma are all very much overweight and have a million and one medical problems. what do i say to that when my son comes home and says grandma told me mcdonalds is good for me!?

The solution isn't to have your kids count calories, it lies elsewhere in your relationship with your peers.

My son is 11 , about 5 ft maybe 5'1" and weights 128 . He calls himself fat all the time . Really upsets me .

He holds his weight all around his stomach . I keep telling him he is a growing boy and his body is about
to go through some real changes so to be patient . I have 2 teenage daughters who are gymnasts . Even though
they are girls , it doesnt help that they have probably 5% body fat and are super athletic . I also have a 5 yr old
daughter so he is truly outnumbered in my house! Their father doesnt come around so he already feels insecure, when he has these body image issues it really breaks my heart .

Our Dr said thats its something to be aware of but nothing thats really severe at this age. I encourage him to move
more , he played basketball and is starting baseball this weekend and hopes to play football in the fall, and like
your son, is hoping to be on the younger team. I don't count calories with him but I do explain the effects (affects??)
that certain foods will have on his body and what will give him more energy for longer periods of time.

I don't have all the answers so we look things up A LOT and have even taken books out of the library that are age
appropriate so he understands them better. We will read through them together, and he reads them on his own,

Good luck ! I know as parents its so hard to see our kids struggle with things that we can't create a quick fix to, but you
can instill a really good foundation for healthy nutrition for the rest of his life ! Look at it as an opportunity

Thank you this is kind of what i was worried about. i really dont WANT to count calories for him, as i kind of thought it was unnecessary, but heres another question -- when discussing nutrition with him, should i explain the difference between good fats/bad fats and stuff like that? i should, right? and natural sugars compared to sugars in cereals, etc?

At that age, he's more than smart enough to learn about different fats and different sugars, and an emphasis on ALL things in moderation, including the bad stuff, *in moderation*.

But he's not mature enough to apply the information yet. (Given that I weighed 280 when I was in my 20s, some of us aren't mature enough to apply it when we're ten years older than your son, so don't sweat that too much).

Start giving him the tools to recognize the fact that no foods are inherently "good" or "bad", but some are more healthy than others, and you need a mix of different healthy foods to support yourself, and the occasional and reasonable indulgence in less-healthy foods is not a bad thing at all. Support these lessons by maintaining a healthy diet (age-appropriate - he needs more calories per pound than you do).

And if you are uncomfortable with any of it, don't hesitate to engage a nutritionist, but one who specializes in pediatrics.

this is such a tough question to answer since we dont know your circumstances all too well.

I think seeing a Ped RD would be your best bet. Insurance would likely cover it (if you have it).

Personally, i would hestitate to have him doing mfp or anything w calorie tracking simply bc he is getting to a vulnerable stage of life. Plus, its clear he is already self concious about his size, so he is already showing signs of vulnerbility. Obession and eating disorders is what i would be concerned about.

You do have a one up though, since he is homeschool. Scool foods are far from healthy. And since he stays home, the only food thats going in his body is what you put on the table. So you have quite a bit of control over what goes into his mouth. Obviously, you want to avoid being a helicopter mom, but you do have more input over what he eats than those that attend public/private schools.

I think teaching him to read labels would be fantastic.
I also think proption size is highly important! Proptions can really change outcomes.
Encouraging him to play backyard football w the neighbor kids or riding his bike, walking the dog are all great. Just get him moving for an hour each day. Maybe share that activity with him. He will feel good bc he is exercising (and not reallly noticing since its fun) and he may be more motivated to have you engage in these activities with.

You spoke about blood work.
Has he had his thyroid checked?
If he has, i would specifically ask the doctor for TSH, T3, T4, Free T3s, and Free T4s numbers. The standard has recently changed. They used to say thyroid is normal if TSH is between 0.50 to 5.0 but that has changed! The newer numbers, it should only be 0.50 to 3.0 I personally have thyroid issues and you wouldnt believe the amount of doctors that still go by the older guidlines. these doctors who think they have patients without hypothyroid, are wrong, if they are going by the old standards. so get numbers and be persistant o get it treated if its above 3.0
and if he hasnt been checked for thyroid, get it checked bc all the dieting and exercise in the world isnt going to work properly if thyroid function is low.

I see you're teaching him to eat well, I also wouldn't count calories at this point. However, you mention homeschooling. What type of activities do you do during school that aren't book related? Try to think of something fun for him to do that will give him a reward that isn't focused on his weight. When my son was in the 3rd grade they had a extra time during their day to do something called Mighty Milers. For every X miles they'd get a little dangly foot to put on a key chain. He loved it!

I would give him little challenges here and there that you could incorporate into the school work. If I move X boxes from point A to point C stopping at B how many times would I have to move all those boxes... but have him actually move the boxes.

You could also set up a little competition between the two of you. Like.... how many times each of you use the stairs in the day, or... how many times you can run around the outside of the house in a minute.

I think all of us have our bad days and we need room for that (though very rarely!) and i think we all need to have the knowledge to make healthy food choices, but i dont see how being with his grandma a few weeks out of the year is going to make him pack on the pounds, even if he is eating cookies and pizza. (or whatever)

I would seek out a registered dietician and get her advise on this.

A few thoughts:

I work in a public school-- there is nothing going on there that your son is missing out on, trust me.

Really this is all in your hands:
-Feed him healthy, nutritious things.
-Teach him about portions-- kids are often shocked to find out their stomach is the size of their fist.
-Buy him a pedometer, set family challenges to reach a certain number on it
-Make going for walks and doing exercise part of homeschooling (think about joining a local indoor pool, and doing swimming
-Send him to grandma's with different food
((educate him on reading ingredient lists-- if you can't pronounce it, should it be in your body??)) Maybe HE can refuse grandma's junk!

DON'T count calories. That is not the sort of way you want you son looking at food. You want him to recognize it as fuel! Many grocery stores have dieticians (at least they do in Iowa City, IA), and they will meet with your son, walk him around the store, etc.

There are probably other homeschoolers that are looking for a way to teach nutrition-- contact your local homeschool moms/dads.

There are most likely books for children that are aimed at explaining nutrition.

Lastly, engage him in cooking classes. Kids will ALWAYS try what they prepare. I have students that won't touch veggies, but we went on a field trip to the grocery store and made veggie pizza (where they didn't have an option to add pepperoni and HAD to have veggies on every slice)-- they SCARFED it down.

So much great advice! Disordered eating is becoming so common at younger ages in kids and is becoming more common amongst boys as well as girls. I agree that focusing on calories can be really dangerous at this age. What I do with my daughter is try to focus on activity- having her play outside with friends as much as possible- ride her bike, scooter, play with the dog (good for the dog too, lol), go for walks with me, hike, anything to get moving, as long as it is PLAY and fun and not a chore. I do talk about what is healthy food and why too much sugar and flour/processed junk is bad. At 11 she is already feeling pressured to be uber thin, and it scares me to death. I guess the more that we can teach balance, healthy habits and positive self image, the better we can protect them from all of the crazy pressure out there and help them avoid the pitfalls of being unhealthy in either extreme.