I told my weight to a coworker...

Pucker508
Pucker508 Posts: 67 Member
edited December 17 in Motivation and Support
For good reason, I thought! But now I am remorseful and feeling bad about myself.

She is the reason I found MFP a year ago. She constantly compares her body to mine... I think because we are the same height and she perceives us as the same size. I am confident that I weigh more than her because she has always told me her weight. Finally today, I just blurted out how much I weigh, and needless to say... she was really surprised. She said, "wow, you don't look like you weigh that much at all."

I know she wasn't trying to be mean, but when she complains about her weight, which is a good 10lbs lighter than me...it doesn't feel good. She even went on to tell me the weight of another coworker who she thought weighed more than us, but who in fact weighs less!

I think what bothers me most is that now she knows my weight and I asked her repeatedly not to tell anyone else... but clearly should so easily told me about someone else's weight.

I believe that the number on the scale should not fully define my success. But I get frustrated when something like this happens.

I am 5' 8" and weigh 154lbs. I want to weigh 140-145lbs and maintain that weigh consistently.

I don't feel far away or like that's unattainable... but this was a bit of a downer this morning.

Feel free to comment.... I know I'm just being sensitive, but I didn't like the way she made me feel.
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Replies

  • knrob
    knrob Posts: 65
    I have ALWAYS weighed more than what people think I do...even as a teenager, in really good shape. Its okay!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    What's wrong with 5'8 and 154?! That's in a healthy range.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    I was 154 all year so far and I'm 4 inches shorter than you. I felt decent, a little big but not upset. I can imagine being taller I would feel good. You are in a healthy range, why the troubles?
  • MrsRobertson1005
    MrsRobertson1005 Posts: 552 Member
    I've always weighed more than people thought I did too, it bites but I chalk it up to muscle. :)
  • prettygirlhoward
    prettygirlhoward Posts: 338 Member
    I always weighed more than my sister and she is taller and bigger than me but it's because I have a curvier body shape.... My thighs and butt are bigger than hers which is where I carry most of my weight... She has no butt and has chicken legs, we always make fun of eachother.
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
    Same here -- people look at me like i'm nuts when I tell them I'm 147lbs and I'm 5'3" :)
  • tbresina
    tbresina Posts: 558 Member
    At 5ft 8 and 154 you are well within a normal weight.........don't let the scale define you, feel good in your skin and move on!
  • Pucker508
    Pucker508 Posts: 67 Member
    I completely agree with you all that at 154lbs at 5'8" is just fine!

    It's not so much the number as how she made me feel... or I should say, how I let her make me feel. Clearly I needed to toughen up a bit, LOL! :smile:
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    If you weigh more than people think you do, it's because you LOOK smaller. I like when people think I weigh less than I do!

    Trust me, it's a good thing. :flowerforyou:
  • bedinky1207
    bedinky1207 Posts: 53 Member
    I'm the same height as you and weigh 147. Back when I was over 200 pounds I use to get the wow, you don't like you weigh that much. But at our height we distribute the weight a lot better. :) Don't worry about it!
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
    you may be the same height but your body composition may be different even if you weigh the same or 10 lbs different.

    I wouldn't let it bother me. Body composition is what matters.

    There was a website a couple of years back that asked women to send in pictures and it had women who weighed the same but looked totally different. google it. Mabye I can find it.
  • LenaMena87
    LenaMena87 Posts: 469 Member
    I completely agree with you all that at 154lbs at 5'8" is just fine!

    It's not so much the number as how she made me feel... or I should say, how I let her make me feel. Clearly I needed to toughen up a bit, LOL! :smile:

    That's my goal weight...I think if I'm any smaller I will look sick! I'm 5'8 by the way!
  • Natty0506
    Natty0506 Posts: 103 Member
    The number on the scale is much less important than how you feel about how you look. Don't let anyone get you down!
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
    www.mybodygallery.com

    edited to add I would love to have your height and weight.:flowerforyou:
  • mes1119
    mes1119 Posts: 1,082 Member
    Psh it is muscle mass. I'm 5'4" and weigh 135 pounds but I am only about 20% body fat and wear about a size 2. My weight sounds high for my size and I REPEATEDLY get told I look like I weigh 105-115. Everyone has different body structures and body fat percentage is a better indicator of body mass :smile:
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    What's wrong with 5'8 and 154?! That's in a healthy range.
    Yes, I'm 5' 8" and that's the very lowest end of my target weight, I'm shooting for 161lb first!

    Besides, looking like you weigh less than you do is a good thing, right? Just ask all the lady heavy weight lifters here who've put on pounds but lost inches to have their best bodies ever and wear a smaller dress size.

    I think your colleague felt bad about saying she weighed that much and probably only said so because she thought you were slimmer and just feels bad for herself.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I completely agree with you all that at 154lbs at 5'8" is just fine!

    It's not so much the number as how she made me feel... or I should say, how I let her make me feel. Clearly I needed to toughen up a bit, LOL! :smile:

    Exactly :) Don't allow HER insecurities to become YOUR insecurities. You're doing just fine.
  • p0stdramatic
    p0stdramatic Posts: 372
    I've never been shy or ashamed about my weight. The number at least. I always get surprised when I ask someone their weight and they get all whispery and shifty-eyed lol. (I have to ask at work quite often.) I mean, the number doesn't matter. If I weigh 200 pounds, people are going to know I'm overweight by looking at me. It doesn't matter if I tell them I weigh 180 or 220, I'll still LOOK the same. I've just never understood it. Or the age thing.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    Also, by looking at your pics, YOU LOOK AMAZING!!! I would think you were much lighter than you are because of how flat your stomach is. But you look lighter because you are more muscle than fat, a VERY big plus!

    O, and 154 is about what I hope to be at once I'm ready to maintain. And you make it look awesome, m'dear!
  • incognitopotato
    incognitopotato Posts: 26 Member
    Don't feel bad---I think that the important message is that weight is less important than how we feel! Weight depends on so many things, not only fat but muscle and bone density (it's definitely a good thing to have strong bones).

    I do feel you on the weight-obsessed friend, though. It can be hard, but try not to get caught up in her own self-image struggles. I find that comparing myself to others only makes me feel inadequate, so I try not to do it (it's hard not to, though!).
  • sara1923
    sara1923 Posts: 53
    mybodygallery.com
    seriously go look at how different people of your weight can look and it may make you feel better. I weigh 130 and have some of the same frustrations. I like to think of it as being "fat skinny" instead of the whole "skinny fat". She most likely didnt mean it as an insult. The other coworker who weighed less than she expected them too may have lied about their weight. There are so many things to consider in this but more so you should consider how this person is making you feel. I know you said you might be acting sensitive but if she continues to make you feel bad. It might be a good idea to limit contact with her and try to surround yourself with people who have a positive effect on you
  • Sandra1962
    Sandra1962 Posts: 4
    I think you are right? I think it is a great weight for her heighth. Sounds like the coworker has self image issues and I wouldn't worry about what others think. Keep up the good work.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
    I completely agree with you all that at 154lbs at 5'8" is just fine!

    It's not so much the number as how she made me feel... or I should say, how I let her make me feel. Clearly I needed to toughen up a bit, LOL! :smile:

    so maybe next time she complains about her (lower than your) weight, just mention "well I am freaking awesome, and I'm heavier than you, so I'm not sure what you are complaining about - you must be awesome, too!"

    glad to see you are doing ok with yourself. I know it is tough when other people poke at your feelings (even if they don't mean to)
  • marilu3
    marilu3 Posts: 18 Member
    Hi... don't feel at all bad about yourself--feel bad for her--she feels the need to compare herself and others and to talk about it... that's not a great quality in a person, and shows her own insecurities Weight has so much more to do with bone density, muscle mass, etc. You are the weight that I'm hoping to get to :). I think you should tell her that your biggest concern is that you're healthy and feel good about yourself--that you can do the things you want. I agree with the others... taller women distribute weight different.
    No worries... you're doing great!
  • Pucker508
    Pucker508 Posts: 67 Member
    You all are fantastic... I really appreciate the words of encouragement!

    Thank you MFP friends!
  • karinaes
    karinaes Posts: 570 Member
    Obviously, everyone's weight matter to this lady. she may have less muscle mass than yourself which is why she weighs less than you and the other person. I always weigh more than people think because I have quite a bit of muscle mass on me (5'4" at 120 lb). anyway, you shouldn't let this person who obsesses over a ridiculous number bother you.
  • djean2
    djean2 Posts: 37 Member
    "You don't look like you weigh that much" is a good thing. "Is that all you weigh? I thought you would weigh more than that." Now that would be a bad thing.

    We do tend to be sensitive about our weight. But you are in normal range for your height, you are within 10lbs of your desired weight and you look like you weigh less than you actually do......You are in a good place.
  • m16shane
    m16shane Posts: 393 Member
    1st) Stop caring what other people think about you. If they don't like you the way you are, well truthfully they're not people that matter.

    2nd) 5'8 and 154 is not unhealthy and a lot of people strive to get to that!

    Lastly) Make lemonade!

    Good luck to you and healthy journey!

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  • PlumeriaToo
    PlumeriaToo Posts: 188 Member
    She sounds like trouble. Don't focus on her insecuity-based comments. You are at MY GOAL. Today is a good day. Just look out for yourself.
  • Elona_30
    Elona_30 Posts: 66
    people should think before they speak, now only if they had a filter on their mouths LOL
    Im heavier then what most think and always have been now Im not in a healthy place right now as Im 5.6 and 220 but I use to be 160 and looked like I was (according to people) 115 or 120, now that is my goal to be 150-160 and have a long way to go but Im determind to get there, just do the filtering for the people that have no idea what they say hurts.:wink:
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