I told my weight to a coworker...

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Replies

  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Maybe the other co-worker isn't as sensitive about her weight as you so the person you spoke to didn't feel she was betraying a confidence. As you do feel strongly, you should speak to your co-worker and tell her that you consider your weight confidential information.

    You've learned that people carry their weight differently, and you can't always guess someone's weight just from looking (a doctor or trainer probably could). You're happy with your progress, that's what matters.

    In the future, don't disclose things about which you feel sensitive.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    "You don't look like you weigh that much" is a good thing. "Is that all you weigh? I thought you would weigh more than that." Now that would be a bad thing.

    We do tend to be sensitive about our weight. But you are in normal range for your height, you are within 10lbs of your desired weight and you look like you weigh less than you actually do......You are in a good place.

    I didn't think it was necessarily a negative comment. And it did occur in a discussion about weight loss.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I completely agree with you all that at 154lbs at 5'8" is just fine!

    It's not so much the number as how she made me feel... or I should say, how I let her make me feel. Clearly I needed to toughen up a bit, LOL! :smile:

    It's all a matter of perspective. If someone told me they thought I weighed less, I'd take it as a compliment! I'd think, "Hell, yeah, I look good!"

    Weighing more than you look is certainly better than weighing less than you look.
  • TIDDYBEAR
    TIDDYBEAR Posts: 63 Member
    I think "you don't look like you weigh that much" is a compliment! I hear that alot. I don't look like I weigh as much as I do because I am big boned. I like it!
  • Doomfrog
    Doomfrog Posts: 79
    I think "you don't look like you weigh that much" is a compliment! I hear that alot. I don't look like I weigh as much as I do because I am big boned. I like it!

    This. When people say that to me, I'm like, "Damn skippy!" I've got lots of weight to lose, but I'm chock fully of muscle. I take it as a compliment. It's just a number. Now if someone said, "Wow, I would have guessed you were AT LEAST 20 pounds heavier than that," I might have an issue.
  • nvestli
    nvestli Posts: 38 Member
    If you weigh more than people think you do, it's because you LOOK smaller. I like when people think I weigh less than I do!

    Trust me, it's a good thing. :flowerforyou:

    Absolutely - as is people thinking you're younger! Take it for the compliment it is and keep going with your efforts. Also, I totally agree with the muscle weighing more than fat thing so next time when someone is surprised just say "yeah I'm still working on the massive muscles thing but they're getting there" and laugh it off :smile:
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
    Obviously, everyone's weight matter to this lady. she may have less muscle mass than yourself which is why she weighs less than you and the other person. I always weigh more than people think because I have quite a bit of muscle mass on me (5'4" at 120 lb). anyway, you shouldn't let this person who obsesses over a ridiculous number bother you.

    PERFECT EXAMPLE -- above quote user - you look pretty fit and small in your photo and we are the same height and I weigh 27lbs more than you

    to the topic poster ---take it as a compliment that she thinks you look smaller than what you weigh :)
  • Bailey543
    Bailey543 Posts: 375
    What's wrong with 5'8 and 154?! That's in a healthy range.
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
    What's wrong with 5'8 and 154?! That's in a healthy range.

    This!

    I know how you feel. I have a couple of friends like this and it drives me BATTY. I just avoid the topic with them. After all, they care more about what they weigh than what you weigh.
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
    i had a friend who was tall and absolutely gorgeous and one of those stick figure types that looked like she didn't have an ounce of fat on her body. She told me she weighed 155 lbs. I didn't believe her. To the point that she got on a scale to prove it to me. She really did weigh that much. And i noticed it did bug her when I said "I can't believe you weigh that much!"

    But hey. In this case (and probalby in yours) it was true. I genuinely expected her to be in the 120's. She was that thin. But I guess she had some solid muscle on her!

    So my point is, don't let what hte other person said make you feel bad. She probably actually means it, like I did with my friend. Numbers don't mean anythign when compared between people, it only matters when you compare it with yourself.
  • bhaktinstella
    bhaktinstella Posts: 51 Member
    Don't feel bad---I think that the important message is that weight is less important than how we feel! Weight depends on so many things, not only fat but muscle and bone density (it's definitely a good thing to have strong bones).

    I do feel you on the weight-obsessed friend, though. It can be hard, but try not to get caught up in her own self-image struggles. I find that comparing myself to others only makes me feel inadequate, so I try not to do it (it's hard not to, though!).

    i totally agree here -- change the subject or walk away with a "gotta go work!"!
  • cmay89
    cmay89 Posts: 337 Member
    I'm 5'7'' and 162. your point? no one ever thinks I weigh the amount that I do. It's a good thing. They always guess lower. Much lower. Don't be bummed about being 5'8'' and 154. I'm an inch shorter and 8lbs heavier. You'll get to your goal. It's not supposed to be a competition between the two of you. You should be doing this for yourself, for your health.
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    When I tell people how much weight I want to lose they look at me and tell me I don't have that much on me to lose. I'm sure they're being sincere, and in this day and age, I think we're used to seeing people outside their healthy range. Sounds like she's the one with issues if she has nothing better to do than advertise other people's weight.

    I'm darn proud to weigh 231, I used to weigh 251. Be proud of your 154, you earned it. You may not be at the goal you desire yet, but that's just a matter of time.
  • BrandiD56
    BrandiD56 Posts: 103
    I'm about 5' 7 1/2" or so and weigh about 160. No one believes me when I tell them because they think I'm a lot less. Apparently, I hide my weight well. Please don't feel bad for weighing 154. Just remember it is just a number.
  • jplucheck
    jplucheck Posts: 275 Member
    People are always shocked to find out how much I weigh, I am 5'7 weighing in at 150! Most say there is no way possible. One of my bigger friends who wears 5 sizes above me didn't believe me as she weighs the exact same and we are the same height. She actually made me jump on a scale to prove it. While it is obvious she is overweight and I look like I weight 25lbs less than her we are the same - difference - body fat percentage while I am @ 24% she is @ 32%, scale truly means nothing!
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    Yes, you are being too sensitive. If the truth be told, nobody really cares.
  • nbsambucca
    nbsambucca Posts: 123 Member
    I too have always weighed more than people think. But I can also lift and carry more than most people think. Ive had plenty of people make comments on how strong I am (sounds silly to say it out loud but its true). Even when Im weighing more than I want to Im always fine w/my number since I know alot of it is muscle :) AND my journey on MFP is making me look better and get even more muscle....
  • Tanishhaaaaaa
    Tanishhaaaaaa Posts: 54 Member
    I weigh less than people think I do....
    I'm 4ft 11 and weigh 112lbs, but people seem to think I'm much more.
    I still look really chubby.
  • pbergin2
    pbergin2 Posts: 3
    Who cares. Its just a number! If I weighed that I would be singing it from the rafters! I don't know why everyone is so wrapped up in the number and whether or not we look it or not. (Myself included ;) Its how you feel. How you present yourself. And, how comfortable you are in your own skin. If people are passing judgment on you based on a number on the scale and not by what is truly important - to hell with them anyway! :flowerforyou:
  • EmilyB85
    EmilyB85 Posts: 5
    Im very guarded about my weight at 5'9 I always thought being 151 pounds is excessive. Now I see its not all about weight, I have lost inches and have far less body fat than last year and my weight has not changed. Having said that I still wouldnt tell my boyf what I weigh. I think its something people are insecure about needlessly. If we were all more open perhaps there wouldn't be such emphasis on it. Be happy in yourself and the progress you are making.
  • Michelle_Nicole
    Michelle_Nicole Posts: 95 Member
    Dont feel bad about yourself you seem like you are doing great and at a healthy range! I had this happen to me a few weks ago and got a little bit upset over it too. I am at 127 and 5'3 I work with 2 girls who are also trying to lose weight and are both my height. Based on appearances we all look the same so I though they were the same weight as me but when it came up in one day I found out they wer both under 120! One was 114 and the other just hit 115. Just remember that everyone carries their weight differently!
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
    If you weigh more than people think you do, it's because you LOOK smaller. I like when people think I weigh less than I do!

    Trust me, it's a good thing. :flowerforyou:

    I agree. If your weight is evenly distributed, e.g., not concentrated in your stomach or butt, you're going to look smaller. That's a good thing!
  • OnWisconsin84
    OnWisconsin84 Posts: 409 Member
    I'd rather LOOK like I weigh less than be hung up on a # on the scale. I'm 5'11 & when I weighed 144 I looked like I weigh more than I do currently...which is somewhere in the 150s (I'm 29 days scale-free so have no clue). My advice: try not to place so much value in a number. It's just a number. Focus on how you look & feel which is the best indicator of your success. Great job, by the way :smile:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I'm the same height and weight as you are.

    I think that because so soso many people lie about their weight, it skews what the general public "thinks" is a good weight.

    Remember when Tyra told the world she weighed 170? And everyone was duly shocked..b-b-but she's a MODEL how come she doesn't weigh 105!!?

    I also want to get down about 8-10 more lbs, and stay there. It's a perfectly healthy and attainable goal.

    But I'm not fat right now, and neither are you. Don't let an unthinking comment ruin your day.
  • AdAstra47
    AdAstra47 Posts: 823 Member
    Weight and BMI are NOT good indicators of health, especially for taller women. The taller you are, the more likely that your BMI estimate will be off. If you have larger bones, or heavier bones, you will weigh more (i.e. people with delicate builds or with osteoporisis will weigh less, but I don't think you probably wanna lose weight that way, right?). If you have more muscle, your body will be more compact & trim & you will have smaller measurements, yet you could weigh more than someone who has less muscle and more fat. So weight alone should really NOT be your sole indicator of success or failure.
    If you rarely get sick, if you are able to do all the physical activities you want to do, if you have energy, if your fingernails grow quickly and your hair is healthy & shiny, those are all indications that you are healthy regardless of what the scale (or some dumb coworker) has to say.

    I am 5'10" with a muscular frame, and my doctor has said that my goal weight should be 175-180. Which still puts me, "officially" in the "overweight" category according to BMI charts. So screw the charts! I'm not starving myself or doing anything unhealthy just to suit someone else's ideal of beauty. I'm doing this for me, so I can be healthy, at whatever weight that happens to be.
  • DawnMarieMomofTwo
    DawnMarieMomofTwo Posts: 186 Member
    Oh wow i feel kinda bad i just said the samething to my sister in law when she told me her weight, but i honestly didnt mean it as a bad thing i meant it more as a good think like wow you look great for that weight range. but the fact that she blurted out someone elses weight to you, im sure if she gets into conversation with another person she will probably spill the beans! but its really nothing to be assamed off!
  • trinitylyons01
    trinitylyons01 Posts: 126 Member
    Maybe you should try being positive about this situation instead of feeling bad about it. Instead of feeling bad because you weigh ten pounds more than her (which isn't a big amount, by the way) tell yourself (and her, if necessary) that you probably weigh ten pounds more because you work out a lot and you have more muscle tone than she does. Muscle weighs more than fat. Two people can be the same height and size but if one of them has more muscle they will weigh more. This could be why "you don't look like you weigh that much". You're toned and in shape.

    Also, stop obsessing about the scale. Do you feel good in your clothes? Have you made progress with weight loss? Do you feel stronger than you did when you started your weight loss journey? If you don't get "yes" answers to these questions ask yourself questions that can make you feel better. Don't let other people determine how you feel about yourself. There will ALWAYS be people who weigh less, are taller, slimmer, shorter, prettier, uglier, etc. You have to love you for who you are and what you have or will accomplish!

    Also, you should start to evaluate why this girl says these things to you. Is she just catty? Is she jealous of you? Is she miserable in her life and wants to make others feel the same? Whatever her reason don't let someone else determine how you feel about yourself.

    Finally, if these ten pounds have to be a big deal to you then just keep working at it and you will get them off. Just continue to love yourself along the way - regardless how others TRY to make you feel!
  • gatorgirl7
    gatorgirl7 Posts: 103 Member
    That happened to me at WW...I can't tell you how many times (even at goal) people would say "You do NOT look like you weigh that much" ::shrugs:: I guess we just "carry it well"?

    I've been on the scale twice since January--am doing more weights so don't want to get discouraged if it goes up. I got on the scale yesterday morning and almost cried...and then checked out my shoulders and arms (I've had TWO compliments on them in the last three days) and my booty...I'll take weighing more if I can look like this ;-)
  • sjmgde
    sjmgde Posts: 381 Member
    I am 58 and weigh 204.6. I would love to weigh 154. Take that weight and be happy with it. In fact you just need to maintain and not even lose.
  • She sounds very insecure to me. Don't concern yourself with her and instead put your efforts into you. Your opinion about you counts where as hers does not.

    As for weight perceptions, well lots of people have tried guessing my weight and they're all about 30lbs or under my actual weight. Although I have a weight goal I'm more interested in how I look and feel - that's why I workout as much as I can.

    Just be happy with yourself.
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