Is romance taught/learned or instinct and do all women like
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he is a bad machine. like a "lemon" car.
dump him.0 -
Putting flame suit on...
It has been my observation that despite stereotypes men are as much looking for romance and to be romantic as ladies are.
To go along with that many women are no where near creatures of the heart as generally thought and are very calculating about things when it comes to relationships as far as whether to enter into one or to stay in one.
This is not intended to be an all inclusive statement,is anecdotal and my opinion based on things I have seen.
^^^This.
Also...
I am a woman but I am not romantic. I don't want flowers, or chocolate, or jewelry. Don't write me poems. Skip the fancy restaurant and candlelight dinner too.
Let's go do something fun, preferably where we can get dirty and maybe scraped up a bit.
Then let's have some steak and eat it with our bare hands, and tear off bites with our teeth. Who needs utensils?
That's my definition of romance.
My ex was all about the flowers and chocolate. He was a man.
You just made me tingle!0 -
I think it's a combination of instinct and learned behavior through watching others, books, tv, movies, etc.
I think things like marriage proposals, romantic dinners, rose petals on the bed, roses and chocolate on Valentine's Day, etc. are learned.
While the little things, picking out the perfect gift that she mentioned she would like months earlier (green striped toe socks), a simple text, a pet name, a note or card, warming up your car for you, being there when you don't expect them, sending you a song that reminded them of you, those are more instinct.
To me both types of romance are great and appreciated, but I'd rather have the little things that she does just because she wanted to than the things that are more what is expected from a SO.
I think a lot of women look over the little things wanting the big show of romance, the production, but if you take the time to notice the little things I think you'll realize how romantic your SO really is.0 -
Define romance??? And to what extent? I am a very low maintenance person according to my significant other.
I'm not big on the whole chocolates and flowers all the time.. He got me roses once... But other than that, nothing really.0 -
According to my husband it's learned.
As for your second question...what's romantic is purely subjective. To me, just spending time alone with my husband is romantic. Coming home to him doing laundry or cleaning the bathrooms is romantic. Any housework I don't have to do....is romantic!
Generally, if we go out to a quiet dinner at a fancy resturant alone, I start to feel awkward. I'm more of a Steakhouse or supper club type girl.0 -
I'm a Hopeless romantic. .
Literally. . even when there's NO HOPE!0 -
I think romance is taught and the person will do what they think is romantic whenever they feel inclined to.
If your husband is not romantic at all... let him know. Just tell him he should be spontaneous every once in awhile. You should too. It's part of a relationship and doesn't have to be a constant thing. It becomes unromantic when it is expected.0 -
I only had one boyfriend who went out of his way to be 'romantic', with cute cheesy love notes and the whole candles ordeal.
I just appreciate the kind gestures that are done for me, in the long run, it holds much more importance then romance. The small things are important too! Men show they're affection through actions, they don't need to bring us flowers to do so. When they work hard to provide for a family, go out of their way to see you & spend time with you, protect & provide, it's more than enough.
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I don't know about it being taught/learned but I think all women crave romance. That being said not all women see the same things as being romantic. I think it's romantic when my fiancee sends me gold and items on the MMO we both play because he knows I need them. I don't ask he just sends them.0
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~ Romance : A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations ... a dreamer, an idealist.
I find that a person who has romantic intentions is a person who ignites fire in a relationship. It isn't about objects ... flowers, candy, jewelry or anything fancy ... it's about how they carry themselves, the look in their eyes. A person who oozes with sex appeal and knows how to express there passion through communication and touch.
I completely indulge in a relationship that includes intense emotions ... when you get butterflies at the thought of his touch ... and you smile at just the sound of his voice ... you have " lived " romance.
:blushing:
Laney, I couldnt have said it better myself !!!!!!! BRAVO ! I love romance0 -
Me and my ex was together for 7 years.
He wasnt romantic and I aint a romantic person...
To the point to where I dont even like calling it "making love" making love is too slow and emotional for me.
I am that get down and dirty type of girl.
That adventerous, last min, just do it type of gir.
I think romance is taught.
Its an emotional thing.0 -
Romance is over rated. I think it's learned, from TV, books, fairy tales.0
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I think romance means different things to different people. But it doesn't always have to be flowers, candy, poems and a candlelight dinner...to me that stuff is so played out and uncreative it's not really romantic but to someone else it totally is of course. Maybe your husband is romantic in his own ways?
agreed here. We're the opposite in my family. My husband is both stereotypically and non-stereotypically romantic (so I get flowers from time to time, but he also makes my lunches and tucked an action figure in my suitcase when I took a trip without him to remind me of him - he also took a matching action figure with him on his trip and took photos to show he was thinking of me), whereas I feel like I'm not romantic at all. My husband disagrees - he says I show my romance in a different way (buying him clothes that I think make him look good, keeping track of our appointments and plans, and encouraging him with all his little projects). Just depends on what romance means to you.
So, I do think romance is taught - in so much as you should try to be romantic in the way the other person wants.0 -
I'm just pondering because my husband is not romantic AT ALL and it drives me crazy. So I'm just wondering if there was something in his youth that could have been done differently. Also, do all women want romance?
How a person is can be directed towards how they grew up-absolutely. Some slight and others so severe that its a challenge to see them really acknowledge any issues that became of it.
Romance all the time? hmmmm, not really. Funny, our local radio station Rock 101, WGIR FM chatted about this very topic and how one of them felt the guy should be doing this every single day - make their GF's/Wife's feel like a princess every day....
hmmm... no... I disagree to the whole every day - I think I would feel choked after awhile to be honest. Romance for me is when we hold each other on the couch enjoying a movie together. When he offers to do tasks so I can take care of what Im already in the middle of doing.
He gives me a kiss before he leaves for work which I absolutely love...he will tell me coffee will be nice and hot when I wake up. When I wake up, he has my favorite coffee cup there, a spoon and he very cutely writes on the country creamer box which one is open because when Im half asleep, Im not gonna have enough brain function to know there is an open one already, lol!!!!!
If Im ready to doze off while laying down on the couch, he will wake me up and bring me to bed and cover me up...
Its the small and simple things that I find romantic as they mean more to me than a dozen red roses (I HATE RED ROSES UGH!)....
The attention though I believe should be a two-way street.... Ill rub my husband's feet after a long day at work, I cook a nice hot meal for him every day that when I hear him sigh because it hit the spot, that makes me feel good... Ill rub his back down if he is sore or when he is NOT sore... Ill grab him a coffee or set it up, just like he does for me... etc...0 -
To me a impromptu slow dance in the kitchen or a look that says it, a touch, a quick kiss on the neck... that's romantic!!!
And what this person said!!!!~ Romance : A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations ... a dreamer, an idealist.
I find that a person who has romantic intentions is a person who ignites fire in a relationship. It isn't about objects ... flowers, candy, jewelry or anything fancy ... it's about how they carry themselves, the look in their eyes. A person who oozes with sex appeal and knows how to express there passion through communication and touch.
I completely indulge in a relationship that includes intense emotions ... when you get butterflies at the thought of his touch ... and you smile at just the sound of his voice ... you have " lived " romance.
:blushing:
Laney, I couldnt have said it better myself !!!!!!! BRAVO ! I love romance0 -
Very much learned I'd say. But at the same time, some people (like myself) could never be romantic no matter how much I tried. It is too unnatural to me.0
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Putting flame suit on...
It has been my observation that despite stereotypes men are as much looking for romance and to be romantic as ladies are.
To go along with that many women are no where near creatures of the heart as generally thought and are very calculating about things when it comes to relationships as far as whether to enter into one or to stay in one.
This is not intended to be an all inclusive statement,is anecdotal and my opinion based on things I have seen.
Yep^^ This. I'm not sure that everyone needs romance. But they need to feel special, loved, appreciated.
According to my b/f it is learned.
I don't NEED the flowers, but he gets them monthly for me anyway because it is his way of showing how much he cares about my happiness and they make me feel special. I am not big on cards because I prefer the sticky notes he leaves all over the house and the car for me, that just say sweet things. I don't neccesarily need a nice candle-lit dinner cause we can go to a Burger and beer joint and have a blast, although an occasional nice dinner is sweet. These are all things that he needs too, he loves when I put notes in his lunch, or surprise him with something special. EVERYONE likes to feel special. Wether they admit it or not. Not all men know how to be romantic, so maybe start doing small things for him that are out of the norm and see if he reciprocates. I think to keep a relationship strong there has to be a LARGE variety of all sorts of stuff. Fun, friendship, romance, sexiness, adventure, thrills.
I do think it is something that is learned. At what point of life, I have no idea, my b/f had a single mom raising him growing up and he was abandoned by his father. He says his mom taught him everything he knows about being such a great guy. He never wanted to hust a woman the way he saw his mother hurt and struggle. So maybe it's ingrained at a young age, however I have been told you can teach an old dog new tricks. So try making it fun, a quest. Good luck.0 -
I am not into what most would think of as romantic. In fact, the whole chocolate, flowers, walks in the moonlight, teddy bear thing kind of creeps me out. Clean the toilet without asking? You get my undying devotion.0
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What is considered romantic to one, isn't romantic to someone else.
If you want your husband to be what you consider romantic, you need to tell him what you want.
This.
My ex boyfriend would get me flowers or jewelry for holidays. And while it was sweet, it was his idea of what romance was, not mine. I'm not into cut flowers, and I prefer costume jewelry that matches what I'm wearing that day to a "sentimental" piece of gold.
My husband got me a cordless drill for our first Christmas together. I thought, "YES! Here's a guy who pays attention to what I really like!!!"0 -
I think you either got it or don't.
1)Flowers for Brthday,Valentines day with chocolate and a bear. since we were 16.(42)now.
2) Jewelry for the real special ocaasions 10year 20 year stuff. Because I can, more than she wants it
.
3) Make sure you say I love you every time you see and leave each other, may be the last CHANCE.
And you never know, beleive me after spending a week by the wifes side 12-23-12-thru 12-31-12
in the ER and Neurolgy dept you don't know when something may happen.
4) Mudding/fishing/hunting/racing take her to all of these a couple times a year, then you can go
by yourself or with a buddy some too with no complaints. She out fishes me every time and I love it.
6) The Beach either by boat or car but go to the beach and enjoy the views with her,lol.
5)Still take the car for a cruise to a Sonic or something on the weekend she loves to go fast still.
7)And don't under any circumstance forget to smack that *kitten*!! We both " look" and don't care.
After the strip club post i figure i would add that, look but thats about it.
Does this seem good ladies? I hope she is not just making me think so!
I must be doing something right after 23 years0
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