My Introduction

My family and friends have decided to start our own "biggest loser" challenge. Mostly it's because of my weight. Well they all aren't toothpicks- most of them could probably lose 20 or 30 lbs and be at their "goal weight" for height/age etc. My weight however- tends to fluctuate. At my heaviest (4 years ago) I was 350. I remember swearing I would never get past 300! That was a LOW POINT in my life. I cut out fast food- and made it down to 300lbs. Then this past year, I was exercising during the summer etc.. and I managed to get my weight down to 250. I was starting to feel great! But then I had my second daughter and 1 year later, my weight has slowly been creeping back up and now I'm up to 300lbs again. And I'm 8 weeks pregnant with baby #3. (I already have an 8 year old and 14 month old.) Because of my weight- OB says its FINE or me to loose. (normally they dont advocate it during pregnancy). Usually I end up losing 50 or so pounds during pregnancies, just because I watch what I eat and I get morning sickness really bad. I do know I am a very emotional eater... so I am working those things out along with this. I'm kind of rambling here- but that's ok. I'm 28 and a full- time college student. Working to get my Bachelors degree in Visual Communications/Digital Media. Dh, I and the kids live with my grandparents, and while I make most of the meals- my grandmothers cooking still has a HUGE influence on what is made and how it's made. She thinks as long as she is eating a vegetable it's "healthy"... nevermind the fact it's soaked in butter and covered in salt. Cooking is very Mayonaise based, Sour Cream, Whipping Cream, Milk, Dairy, Butter and Sugar heavy. (ie she won't eat fresh fruit unless it's covered in heavy whipping cream). I know this is just how she was raised etc.. so I'm hoping that by my educating myself on foods and health that, in turn, I can help her realize she doesn't eat as healthy as she thinks. (ie. Fish is good for you- so she;'ll eat fried cod... i dont think the fish is good for you if it's fried). Anyways. I don't think I've ever really had 1 particular "a-ha" moment... where suddenly I realize things needed to change. I was never in line for a roller coaster for hours only to be kicked off because of my size.. but I've also read those stories and I just know to avoid those places. Hard with kids though- and when i was smaller/younger I LOVED ROLLAR COASTERS. Every year my sisters and all our kids go to an amusement park and I hate the fact that I always have to have one of them go with my daughter, because I'm too big or scared to make sure i'm not too large to ride. It's humiliating and I hate having this unspoken rule that there are certain things I can't do with my kids that they can do because they aren't my size. When I look in the mirror I still see myself as when I was many sizes smaller (i'm now a 22/24). I look at pictures of myself and think "omg is that really what I look like?" The only thing keeping me from being 350lbs again, are my sisters wedding pictures- i am SOOO EMBARESSED for the way I look! Maybe my a-ha moment was when I realized I was back up to 300. I worked SO HARD to get down to 250 and was so proud (as was everyone else) and slowly i just let it all creep back on. Ok anyways, that was kind of long. but Hello