Hypothetical relationship question

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felice03
felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, lets say "hypothetically" that I meet this guy...Funny, smart, treats me like gold, awesome in the sack. Then there is the conversation regarding relationship status. The result of said conversation is that both side are in for an exclusive relationship. However, the label of BF/GF for some reason weirds me out...But for him it means something (even though he is trying to say it doesn't). So, would you be worried/offended/indifferent if your "other" didn't want that label?? you know....hypothetically?
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  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Honestly, yes I would be a little offended. I like to know what to call someone rather than, "Hey this is Bob."
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
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    Talk with people to figure out why boyfriend/girlfriend labels weird you out. Did you have a relationship that ended as soon as you labeled it? Have you seen other people who suddenly changed because of the labels? What exactly does it mean to you? If he's willing, talk with him about it. Purely hypothetically, of course. :wink:
  • Kellywithjustay
    Kellywithjustay Posts: 12
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    I would not be offended if I knew the relationship was exclusive and that eventually that title would come into play. I would say, fine, don't call me your girlfriend, but it's either that or "Lover". ;)
  • sarafil
    sarafil Posts: 506 Member
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    I don't quite get it....if you are interested in an exclusive relationship, then usually the term we would use is "girlfriend" or "boyfriend." I think it lets others now that you are mutually exclusive. Is it just the term "girlfriend" or "boyfriend?" Would you be okay with him telling people you were his significant other, something of that nature?
  • LuneBleu85
    LuneBleu85 Posts: 217
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    I think it would bother me, can't quite put my finger on why. I dated a very shady guy in college (who I was too in love with to see the multitude of red flags!). He didn't like to say that he missed me and didn't like the boyfriend/girlfriend labels.
    To me saying that you have a "boyfriend" tells people that you are not single, if you could find another way to say that without using the word then whatever! Is there something else holding you back from the labels?
  • Flippiefloppies
    Flippiefloppies Posts: 319
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    SMH. SMH. SMH. Ohhh Jodi. I would be a tad offended myself. Like Em said. What do you say with introductions.. " This is hypothetically speaking my boyfriend" or " This is my friend"... he is obviously more than that so it could hurt his feelings a bit.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    Jodi, if you don't want to call me your Boyfriend..its ok...as long as we know that its just you and me from now on. Course Gale and Amber and Angie can come along if it would make you more comfortable....
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,292 Member
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    Is there a different term that would weird you out less? Or is it just the idea that it shows you are in a relationship that bothers you?
  • mandamama
    mandamama Posts: 250
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    Hypothetically, you have ALREADY labeled yourself as exclusive, so yes, I would be upset with that. How are you supposed to introduce him? This is my friend who I am exclusively having sex with? LOL I think people read too much into the whole "not needing a label" and in my personal experience, I used that as an excuse for " I really like having sex with you, and only you, but I really don't want the commitment of a relationship, so I will say that I don't want to label it instead of just telling you that"
  • Flippiefloppies
    Flippiefloppies Posts: 319
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    JODI QUIT BEING SUCH A SISSY!!!!!.. There, I said it.
  • BEERRUNNER
    BEERRUNNER Posts: 3,049 Member
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    NOT AT ALL!! come on babycakes its just a title....as long as the 2 people know the capacity of their exclusiveness then it shouldnt be a problem.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I guess you'd have to look into why it is you don't want to call him that, because if you're not going to be with anyone else, but don't want to say boyfriend, I guess you'd say guy/man friend or something like that. Would it bother me? eventually yes, probably not at first, because everything's new
  • Flippiefloppies
    Flippiefloppies Posts: 319
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    I guess you'd have to look into why it is you don't want to call him that, because if you're not going to be with anyone else, but don't want to say boyfriend, I guess you'd say guy/man friend or something like that. Would it bother me? eventually yes, probably not at first, because everything's new


    I just want you to know jackpot you are going to be the first person to lose to me in Words with Friends... how does that make you feel?


    Sorry Jodi, off the subject =)
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Eventually, yes...i see the word coming into play...it is not a "I am not into labels" snooty thing. It has more to do with coming out of a marriage and being insecure with that. I have talked with him at length about it, thus the understanding of exclusiveness. Not sure why I am dragging my feet on technicalities....hypothetically.
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 627 Member
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    Given what you shared, ya, I'd be offended. Hypothetically, if it was me.
  • aSunflower
    aSunflower Posts: 73 Member
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    I feel weird using the boyfriend/girlfriend term. It sounds so high school. Before I was married I was a 28 year old woman- not a girl, and trust me, I didn't date any "boys".

    Perhaps we need a new term, but I never felt the need to "mark" whomever I was dating with a "taken" stamp.

    However, I have been married now for over 15 years and I do say "husband"!
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
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    Take the label. Sometimes you got to give to get. If it doesn't mean anything to you and he's all that and a bag of chips roll with it. Or would you rather have a lesser compatible guy who agrees with you. Your a woman so u might. Women love to be agreed with.
  • mills101
    mills101 Posts: 58
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    I dont see a problem with it. I mean, you can be with someone without having to feel confined. I dont like being claimed in a relationship but sometimes you have to accept the tag to improve the other person's feelings.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    I guess you'd have to look into why it is you don't want to call him that, because if you're not going to be with anyone else, but don't want to say boyfriend, I guess you'd say guy/man friend or something like that. Would it bother me? eventually yes, probably not at first, because everything's new

    I was thinking boy companion....
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    Eventually, yes...i see the word coming into play...it is not a "I am not into labels" snooty thing. It has more to do with coming out of a marriage and being insecure with that. I have talked with him at length about it, thus the understanding of exclusiveness. Not sure why I am dragging my feet on technicalities....hypothetically.

    See, this slightly changes my initial response. Give it some time, and time for the insecurities to evaporate. No need to rush.

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