Question for the guys

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Laura_Suzie
Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm curious to know how guys feel about this. Many people have told me I should be more flirty/aggressive in order to get dates, but I was always taught you should let the guy do the pursuing. So guys, do you like girls to chase after you or do you like to pursue THEM?
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Replies

  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I've been told the same thing, but I don't. I've been flirted with and didn't know it. I just don't see the signs. I thought they were just being friendly. It wasn't until later (much later) that my friends told me she was flirting with me. My reply: "Really? I had no idea. Oh well, too late."

    This has happened way too often.

    As for your question: I prefer to chase them. That way, I can tell if they are receptive to my advances. Clearly, I can't tell if they are flirting with me...but I'm an idiot, obviously!
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    i'm a persuer, give me a sign or two that you're interested and i'll take it from there
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
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    I a not a guy. But I have asked guys out (very casually, just "hey you want to go get coffee") and the type of guys I personally prefer LOVE it.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I a not a guy. But I have asked guys out (very casually, just "hey you want to go get coffee") and the type of guys I personally prefer LOVE it.

    See, that's the stuff I'm talking about. One time, I accepted, went to grab some coffee and then I just left. I didn't think she was flirting, just being friendly. WOW! I'm sloooooooooooow!
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
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    My wife was the type to let the guys ask her out. She is quite fetching and I asked her out so many years ago. All the other guys were scared to ask because of her beauty. Now 17 years later everyone still asks me; " Geez Jim, how did you land HER?"
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    I'm curious to know how guys feel about this. Many people have told me I should be more flirty/aggressive in order to get dates, but I was always taught you should let the guy do the pursuing. So guys, do you like girls to chase after you or do you like to pursue THEM?

    We need all the help we can get. Sometimes it's like coachbit says. A friend will be like, "man, she was giving you the eye," and I"ll have been clueless to it. So I guess if you're gonna flirt, flirt to win! :)
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I can't simply be flirty/aggressive. I would need someone to pursue me. It would make things easier for me.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Honestly....Be very flirtacious.....let him know you're interested.......Then make him be the one to take the next steps. Don't play super hard to get though because that's just annoying.
  • Captian_Dathon
    Captian_Dathon Posts: 73
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    (Just from a girl side.... Uhm... lesbian....)
    I prefer when she is interested in me and makes a point to prove it, but I must also show my interest. Romance is mutual, not one-sided. I assume it is true, though, for all sexual orientations...

    I mean, don't stalk someone, but don't pretend to not be interested and wait for them to make the first move.
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
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    Sometimes it's good for a guy to be the one being pursued in my opinion.
  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 281 Member
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    I'm really lazy, so I'd prefer women pursue me :p
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
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    I'm too shy to be a pursuer. Just not my personality. So it'd be easier on me if someone else did the initiating... but this could attract the wrong types of people to me if that were the case. I'd probably end up being more attracted to the kinds of ladies that don't do the pursuing.... so in other words I'm doomed unless I can find a way to cure my shyness
  • YassSpartan
    YassSpartan Posts: 1,195 Member
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    If is part of the woman's personality, sure, there's nothing wrong with being aggressive. So I say go for it. Again, as long as it is part of your personality.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    I'm too shy to be a pursuer. Just not my personality. So it'd be easier on me if someone else did the initiating... but this could attract the wrong types of people to me if that were the case. I'd probably end up being more attracted to the kinds of ladies that don't do the pursuing.... so in other words I'm doomed unless I can find a way to cure my shyness

    Just do it. You've got champ abs and obviously a helluva work ethic. You should be proud of yourself; you probably have a lot to offer.
  • smilingchica
    smilingchica Posts: 279 Member
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    Honestly....Be very flirtacious.....let him know you're interested.......Then make him be the one to take the next steps. Don't play super hard to get though because that's just annoying.

    I sometimes feel like i'm not hard to get enough, i just don't know how to play games at all.
  • ElPumaMex
    ElPumaMex Posts: 367 Member
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    i'm a persuer, give me a sign or two that you're interested and i'll take it from there

    ^^^ This

    The key is to give the guy a clear sign that you are interested, and he will take it from there.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I can't imagine the torture women go through waiting around for guys to make their move. But, that's just the way it is. I've had some women that were aggressive with me and I didn't like it at all. I prefer to chase. I pick up signals pretty well, so I'm good with the hunt.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Nothing wrong with a little of both. If a woman were interested in me, I would be more than ok if she made sure I knew it! We arent mind readers, contrary to what the magazines say we should be! :drinker:
  • sportsjunkee70
    sportsjunkee70 Posts: 173 Member
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    I usually do the pursuing if I get a sign or two... the problem is I usually don't recognize the signs lol.

    Nothing wrong with a woman showing that she is interested in me though. It always makes you feel good knowing that someone is into you no matter if you're male or female.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    of the 2 girlfriends I've had in the past. 1 serious and one semi-casual, they both did the persuing. I'm just too damn shy. especially with the way I was. big, fat and heavy. I'm getting better at being less shy and more outgoing as the weight loss comes. I know it's all in my head the lack of confidence . but it also doesn't help I have no game and I am horrible at reading signals from girls. She could hit me over the head with a huge sign that says "I LIKE YOU ASK ME OUT" and I'd still miss it. :laugh:

    oh and to answer the OP I don't mind it at all.

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