Question for the guys

i'm a persuer, give me a sign or two that you're interested and i'll take it from there

I a not a guy. But I have asked guys out (very casually, just "hey you want to go get coffee") and the type of guys I personally prefer LOVE it.

See, that's the stuff I'm talking about. One time, I accepted, went to grab some coffee and then I just left. I didn't think she was flirting, just being friendly. WOW! I'm sloooooooooooow!

I'm curious to know how guys feel about this. Many people have told me I should be more flirty/aggressive in order to get dates, but I was always taught you should let the guy do the pursuing. So guys, do you like girls to chase after you or do you like to pursue THEM?

We need all the help we can get. Sometimes it's like coachbit says. A friend will be like, "man, she was giving you the eye," and I"ll have been clueless to it. So I guess if you're gonna flirt, flirt to win!

Honestly....Be very flirtacious.....let him know you're interested.......Then make him be the one to take the next steps. Don't play super hard to get though because that's just annoying.

Sometimes it's good for a guy to be the one being pursued in my opinion.

I'm too shy to be a pursuer. Just not my personality. So it'd be easier on me if someone else did the initiating... but this could attract the wrong types of people to me if that were the case. I'd probably end up being more attracted to the kinds of ladies that don't do the pursuing.... so in other words I'm doomed unless I can find a way to cure my shyness

I'm too shy to be a pursuer. Just not my personality. So it'd be easier on me if someone else did the initiating... but this could attract the wrong types of people to me if that were the case. I'd probably end up being more attracted to the kinds of ladies that don't do the pursuing.... so in other words I'm doomed unless I can find a way to cure my shyness

Just do it. You've got champ abs and obviously a helluva work ethic. You should be proud of yourself; you probably have a lot to offer.

i'm a persuer, give me a sign or two that you're interested and i'll take it from there

^^^ This

The key is to give the guy a clear sign that you are interested, and he will take it from there.

Nothing wrong with a little of both. If a woman were interested in me, I would be more than ok if she made sure I knew it! We arent mind readers, contrary to what the magazines say we should be! :drinker:

of the 2 girlfriends I've had in the past. 1 serious and one semi-casual, they both did the persuing. I'm just too damn shy. especially with the way I was. big, fat and heavy. I'm getting better at being less shy and more outgoing as the weight loss comes. I know it's all in my head the lack of confidence . but it also doesn't help I have no game and I am horrible at reading signals from girls. She could hit me over the head with a huge sign that says "I LIKE YOU ASK ME OUT" and I'd still miss it. :laugh:

oh and to answer the OP I don't mind it at all.

I quality man will pursue a woman, even after being shot down a time or two.

If a woman likes me it definitely makes it easier if she makes that clear. These days people have such a wide range of personalities that it's hard to tell if someone may be interested in you or if they're just being friendly. If you like a guy and let him know it (and he likes you) he'll take it from there in most cases.

Guys get rejected all of the time. It can get a little tiring. Some dudes are really TOO (creepy) aggressive and it makes women nervous and nice guys less willing to make the first move. Nice guys don't want to be viewed as a weird-o. A woman asking me out for coffee or touching my arm a lot sort of gives me the green light that she likes me too. Also let me say this, more than once a woman that I have not thought of as a partner has changed my mind by just flirting. Someone that I may have only viewed as a co-worker or friend's relative is suddenly someone I might build a life with.

This.

There is no telling how many women I missed an opportunity to date because I was too shy to ask. (Probably not that many, really. LOL)

I wanted to be absolutely sure she was interested before I asked to save me from that potential feeling of wanting the earth to open up and swallow me if she laughed at me and said "no."

The only women I ever dated are the ones that gave me a clear, unmistakable sign they were interested, and the ones that asked me out, too!

I'm not an introvert and I am not shy when it comes to addressing a room full of people or teaching a class, just when it comes to asking someone out. Of course, I'm married to one of the women brave enough to ask me out so it all worked out in the end. :bigsmile:

I love it when a girl makes the first attempt... Usualy when guys do the girl shuts them down hahaha! At least when I a girl flirts you know it could be something

I've been told that I'm unapproachable. Must be the way I'm standing or something :P
Therefore, there have been a few times when I've had to be slightly aggressive.

ETA: Although, I remember hearing once (probably in a bad movie) that, "if a guy wants it to happen, he WILL make it happen." Soooo I dunno. I gave up a month ago. Focusing on myself.