Question for the guys

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Replies

  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    The key is to give the guy a clear sign that you are interested, and he will take it from there.
    Guys- can you give clues as to what these 'clear signs' are? A smile, a touch, a sign saying 'do me do me' ?
    Or what are signs you show- I keep getting told a guy was flirting with me (after the fact, sigh). I try to give openings like 'yeah I love coffee' or 'not sure what I'll do for lunch today' or 'I really need a beer' and if they are flirting they don't pick up. It's frustrating to think I missed out on a chance to date a great guy if they really were interested.
  • recreatinghappiness
    recreatinghappiness Posts: 7 Member
    ^^^^^^^^^ hahahahah yes. i here you. what the **** are these signs.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 1,799 Member
    a sign saying 'do me do me' ?

    That would certainly take the guess work out of it. It would maybe (depends on the day, I guess, lol) take the thrill out of it.

    Maybe more a sign that said, "there is at least the slightest of possibilities you could do 'do me do me.'" An above poster mentioned a line from a movie, I think "He's Just Not That Into You," that said that if a guy wants it to happen, it WILL happen. That's pretty much the case. I think most guys will be absolutely tenacious, but ONLY if they think they have a chance, however small. A lot of times something happens and a girl gets ruled out completely as even being an option.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    a sign saying 'do me do me' ?

    That would certainly take the guess work out of it. It would maybe (depends on the day, I guess, lol) take the thrill out of it.

    Maybe more a sign that said, "there is at least the slightest of possibilities you could do 'do me do me.'" An above poster mentioned a line from a movie, I think "He's Just Not That Into You," that said that if a guy wants it to happen, it WILL happen. That's pretty much the case. I think most guys will be absolutely tenacious, but ONLY if they think they have a chance, however small. A lot of times something happens and a girl gets ruled out completely as even being an option.


    or how about predator vision!
    blue = :noway:
    orange/yellow = :blushing:
    red = :heart: :smooched: :devil:
  • Rick_SH
    Rick_SH Posts: 71 Member
    OK, I'm a father of a 20-something daughter and so my dad voice is speaking when I say that I would recommend you just be you. If flirting comes naturally to you, then do it but if you don't normally do it, it may come across as awkward or even back fire.

    As a guy, I always liked being flirted with but like many others here have said, most times we don't even know we are being flirted with. So don';t be disappointed if you get no response. You may just have to try and try again.

    You are a pretty lady, the right guy is out there. Be patient my dear.

    OK, dad is done speaking. :-)
  • watboy
    watboy Posts: 380 Member
    Same here dude. I had the same issue
    I've been told the same thing, but I don't. I've been flirted with and didn't know it. I just don't see the signs. I thought they were just being friendly. It wasn't until later (much later) that my friends told me she was flirting with me. My reply: "Really? I had no idea. Oh well, too late."

    This has happened way too often.

    As for your question: I prefer to chase them. That way, I can tell if they are receptive to my advances. Clearly, I can't tell if they are flirting with me...but I'm an idiot, obviously!
  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
    Its good to chase a little. When you are 18, 19, 20... you don't mind chasing as much, with experience it can get old. Especially when that chase led to second rate stuff. hah! Give him a little chase so he knows you're into it... then watch him REALLY chase. :D
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    Females are the hunters, the males just don't realize it.

    :laugh:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Don't be an ice queen, definitely be flirty. I like where there are some signs she's interested. When I see that, I'll be able to ask someone out, etc.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I don't pursue anyone.

    I work in a bar, and meet enough women there regardless.

    It's convenient.
  • cior
    cior Posts: 133 Member
    Honestly, I think it depends on the guy's personality, who you are interested in, and what you like.

    My boy now.. well, let's say I had to go after it and flirt with him endlessly before he got the hint. I've also dated a guy who went after me.
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
    I was both, however more of the persuer than the persued. Which is a good thing since my husband was rather shy when I met him, lol. I've also been told I use to come off as "aloof, distant, even cold". Well, that was just my way of making sure I didn't get bothered by someone I wasn't interested in. If I was interested..... the guy would know, no mistake.
  • JSnover
    JSnover Posts: 51
    She can come to me if shes that interested
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,247 Member
    Females are the hunters, the males just don't realize it.

    :laugh:

    ..... until it's too late - for them :devil:
  • JamesOfLondon
    JamesOfLondon Posts: 60 Member
    I'm curious to know how guys feel about this. Many people have told me I should be more flirty/aggressive in order to get dates, but I was always taught you should let the guy do the pursuing. So guys, do you like girls to chase after you or do you like to pursue THEM?

    Playful "aggressive" is okay. Nothing wrong with a girl who knows what she likes / wants imo.

    I don't have an issue with "chasing" a girl either though, as long as she's enjoying the pursuit.

    I'd not follow up on any girl who stonewalled me.

    It should be fun, for both of you / us.
  • DominiqueSmall
    DominiqueSmall Posts: 495 Member
    Guys get rejected all of the time. It can get a little tiring. Some dudes are really TOO (creepy) aggressive and it makes women nervous and nice guys less willing to make the first move. Nice guys don't want to be viewed as a weird-o. A woman asking me out for coffee or touching my arm a lot sort of gives me the green light that she likes me too. Also let me say this, more than once a woman that I have not thought of as a partner has changed my mind by just flirting. Someone that I may have only viewed as a co-worker or friend's relative is suddenly someone I might build a life with. :wink:

    Wow!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    Even if you flirt, a lot of guys don't get the message that you're interested in them. Apparently i was once in the same situation where people said that the girl and me looked like bf and gf but to me i just felt like i was just talking to her like a normal person.
  • DominiqueSmall
    DominiqueSmall Posts: 495 Member
    I was raised that the guy does the pursuing so I always did that. However, after I started to recover last year from my accident, I decided I was done with having regrets so I made the first move. Still glad I did. :-)
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    I've been told the same thing, but I don't. I've been flirted with and didn't know it. I just don't see the signs. I thought they were just being friendly. It wasn't until later (much later) that my friends told me she was flirting with me. My reply: "Really? I had no idea. Oh well, too late."

    This has happened way too often.

    As for your question: I prefer to chase them. That way, I can tell if they are receptive to my advances. Clearly, I can't tell if they are flirting with me...but I'm an idiot, obviously!

    i'm with you on this i'm clueless. how clueless am i. i once had a lady friend in class ask me if i ever had s*x on a water bed with lotion if thats not a given sign she was flirting i don't know what is. but i missed out because i didn't catch on. i would like to be inticed
  • DS67ATX
    DS67ATX Posts: 289
    I think is awesome when a woman approaches me to ask my name and ask if I want to hangout or go out.Ive had it happen a few times and its always the same,awesome.
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