Ending a relationship for your own good.

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  • Marper8521
    Marper8521 Posts: 160
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    Staying married for as long as I did was the worst mistake of my life. It has cost me both emotionally and financially. I can replace money, but I can't replace the time I spent being with the wrong person. Who knows what would have really happened if I would have let go when I first saw the signs.

    OMG!!! I can't belive this thread of "ME" exists. Man, after 30 years I'm resentful, frustrated and have began to not respect the person. I love her, but it's mad-ning to deal and live with. I'm moving on, can't allow more time to go by and live this way, I must be free and given a chance to see "what if ?" . Yes, this will hurt many people, but no one has felt my pain for this length of time. Do what is right for you and not others.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    I was on the receiving end of this. When I was told she felt ths way for six years, I was pissed. I mean, I recounted all the things we did the past six years, and was like, really?

    In retrospect, I think the kindest and most humane thing is to end it when it's ready o be ended.
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
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    I'm currently on the receiving end of something similar to this........ all I can say is, "If your heart isn't in it, take yourself out" ........... it's still very painful and hard for me to see in my own situation right now but had it happened sooner, I'd be far less confused and heartbroken than I am now......
  • LoveLife8888
    LoveLife8888 Posts: 28
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    sometimes life makes relationships complicated, but its how you two TOGETHER deal with it. never giving up is important, but at times its important to let go and do whats best for you. if youre feeling this way its most respectful to him for you to leave. its gonna hurt like hell, but youll eventually move on and you will be happier, or it will come back and work out. either way its healthiest to move on and let the anger, frustration, and confusion fade away. do not fear of being lonely. be yourself, and remain positive. be strong and good luck! (ps dont be like me and eat ice cream outta the container.....itll kill your calories! haha)
  • liog
    liog Posts: 347 Member
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    Been there done that. Regardless of the reason, when you know you should go, go. Don't waste any more time. Life is short.
  • Troy67
    Troy67 Posts: 556 Member
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    Just do what is best for you. He might be pissed and hurt, but will probably thank you later. If I hadn't been dumped years ago, I wouldn't be engaged to a fabulous woman I met here on MFP. It wasn't a great relationship and 60 pounds of the weight I had to lose was put on with her. So if there is absolutely no salvaging it, just do it.
  • beabelieve
    beabelieve Posts: 112
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    I'm at a crossroads right now . I know I should end the relationship but at times I don't feel strong enough to do it.
    I think of all the people involved and all the plans we had yet I know It's not my place to be .
    I think of the pain and that I will miss this person , I get so anxious. I have never dumped anyone.

    Can anyone understand How I'm feeling :(


    =*( def can relate..
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
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    I have reeeeally recently gone through pretty much exactly this...

    It was 18 months in and it was so hard to actually get the guts up and do it. And after I felt like crap for a bit, but at the same time I had this massive sense of relief and of having this great weight lifted off of my shoulders.

    Life really is too short.
  • Koshkaxo
    Koshkaxo Posts: 332 Member
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    I'm currently on the receiving end of something similar to this........ all I can say is, "If your heart isn't in it, take yourself out" ........... it's still very painful and hard for me to see in my own situation right now but had it happened sooner, I'd be far less confused and heartbroken than I am now......

    same here... 4 years together and i am happy with the bf... 2 weeks ago he said he wasnt sure if we had a future together :( I told him if his heart isnt in it, then i didnt want us to stay together for false reasons. he recently said he wants to stay together but still has a bad feeling about it.

    the joys of relationships :grumble:
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    so why stay...
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
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    it is going to hurt like hell. But you are all right time will make things better.
    For those on the recieving end I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm used to being on the recieving end myself and being heartbroken. This time is different is all new emotions . I feel guilty at times bc he does have kids that know me well by now but I can't ignore how he treats me at times. I feel like I'm bending myself backwards just for us to be together and on top of that he is not considerate, and always fault-finding.

    Hugs everyone
    xoxo
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Yup...

    It took me almost 4 years to get out of a bad marriage (he had cheated and was still an a-hole and not loving me the way I deserved).

    I said this in another similar thread.

    The moment the fear of being alone, of the unknown, or the future, of missing the person, etc.. the moment you overcome that fear, you can break free. It's JUST fear that is holding you back.
    And fear can be overwhelming... hence the 3-4 years it took me.

    But finally came the moment that the fear of being MISERABLE alongside him for the rest of my life (just imagining that now gives me an anxiety attack) was greater than the fear of being myself and not knowing my future.


    At least now I have hope. I haven't been this happy in years. Yes it was scary. Yes I cried a little. Yes I'd freak out sometimes. I didn't sleep well at first. I drank a lot (haha). And I didn't make the best decisions during that time (rebound relationship) but today I'm not the same woman I was when I was married. I'm actually truly smiling from the inside out.

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